Updated: 4/15/2020

Hello.

This is an old fic that I am revisiting. It was originally published in 2012. Everything in this a very mildly edited version of what I originally posted anything after chapter one is New Content. I would suggest following it I guess if you like it because I will be adding to it occasionally as the mood strikes me.

I have also uploaded this to AO3 User is Fairy_blooms

I think from now on I will also be only posting new writing on AO3 (aside from this story which I will update on both sites) just because there is a better rating system on there and! I can add photos :)

1.1

He was younger than all the other guys. Bout' my age, give or take a few years. Usually, they were years older than me, like around the mid-'30s to the early '50s.

I look down at the boy underneath me. He has ridiculously bright blond hair that's proven to be natural by matching pubic hairs. Deep aqua coloured eyes hide behind his messy blond spikes. A small round-tipped nose perfectly sculpted on his slightly tanned skin. He has small dimples too when he smiles. I always watched him from afar but this time I was much closer, so much so that I could see the specks of different shades of blue in his irises and I could count the very light freckles on his face. I could see every strand of hair that made up his golden eyelashes.

He was handsome.

I've seen him at least a hundred times before. At midnight when I would see him walk down the street that I occasionally took post at. He works at the 7 eleven a few blocks down I eventually found out. Every time I took my post on that street, I would see him walk past and he would always shoot me a friendly smile. I always snorted or looked away in response but honestly, it made my days brighter. I started taking that post more often to see him more. Never did I think I would see him like this.

He pushes my bangs away from my sweaty face. Then he moves his soft palms down the sides of my body. He lets them rest on my hip bones holding onto me lightly as I ride him. My hands that are planted flat against his toned stomach are getting sticky from the sweat. This room is too warm. Fucking cheap-ass motels have shit AC. I should be used to the horrible conditions of these motels. I've been in this one in particular at least a few times. What would he think of me if he knew of all the people I might have slept within this very motel? Maybe even in this very room? Would he even care?

I remember the day he caught me doing my job I was mortified. I thought he would stop smiling at me when he found out what I was. Most people would anyways, what I did was shameful to most.

But he didn't.

He smiled like he always did even when he saw me leaning into the window of a beat-up car telling the person in the driver's seat how much it was for how long and what I'd do. Then again maybe he figured it out before he saw me. It was obvious. I mean why else would I be standing on a street corner at midnight?

Either way, he was still nice to me even after knowing what I did.

He stops my hips and flips me on my back harshly but without the brutality, I was usually given. He's now over me instead of under, his blue eyes burn holes in me as he stares. His lips come up to kiss me on the crook of my neck then they move down to my chest and my stomach. I knew he was leaving me hickeys. Claiming me to be his at least for tonight and I let him. I wanted to be his. I wanted to belong to the only person that made me feel like I was there.

How fucking naive of me to hope like that right? To be swept away by some annoying overly friendly blond stranger like some kind of damsel in distress.

The day I first found out where he worked was when I happened to run into him at 7 eleven. I remember it was around 8:30 at night. I was craving Doritos so I went there to pick up a bag or two. I didn't notice that he was the cashier till I placed the few bags of chips and an Arizona drink down on the counter

"Hey," He said when he noticed it was me. Then he gave me that signature smile that he always gave me.

His voice was very loud and cheerful. It was annoyingly obnoxious but at the same time, it was soothing because of the friendly tone he used on me like he'd known me for years.

As I said, I'm fucking naïve. It was his job to be friendly to customers plus he seemed like the type of person that would be nice to anyone and everyone. At that very moment, I felt so special. Of course, I'm not one to show it so I replied with a less-than-friendly grunt before scrapping the little money I had in my pocket to pay for the few snacks and lazily smacking the crumpled-up bills onto the counter.

He ignored my rude behaviour and just counted out the change. Then I placed my stuff into a thin white plastic bag and handed it to me with a smile still plastered onto his face. It made me jealous. How could someone be so …bright? Not only physically with his blond sunshine hair and clear blue eyes but his personality was just so bright and warm too. I was so opposite to him. My hair was black as a pitch back night with a pair of black eyes to match; my personality was cold and hard. I wasn't welcoming at all. He was.

I snatched my bag away from him. I mumbled "Thank you" before casually making my way out of the place as quickly as I could.

"See you later!" I heard him call out to me just as the door was closing behind me.

Later that day I didn't take that post in attempts to avoid him. For a few weeks after that day, I stopped going even within a few blocks of that area. I'm not sure why I was avoiding seeing him again. Maybe it was because I was ashamed that I kind of began relying on him to make my life even the tiniest bit better.

Hands slithered down to my thighs then ran themselves up to my body again. Feeling me up. I realized that he enjoyed that. Touching me I mean. It wasn't perversely touching even though it was just feeling my skin like it was something amazing and new. I was far from new. I was this used up, lost person but he still found some way to make me seem fascinating in his eyes.

Moments later he grabs my ass and pulls me down toward his crotch. I feel the warm tip of his dick poke at my entrance. He pushes in slowly, re-entering me. He glides in easily since my ass was already stretched to fit when I was riding him. I feel the familiar sensation of warmth inside me. I feel our pulses beating together.

I'd like to think that maybe we're connected in more ways than our current physical state. Maybe our hearts are somehow matched for each other too. Well, I'd never admitted to such a foolish idea.

The thrust he is making are slow ones. He pulls out slowly and pushes back just as slow. It tortures me but eventually, I feel his movements quicken. His thrust becomes strong and somewhat violent, but it feels so good. Sex always feels good but never have I felt like this. Maybe it's because the lustful needy look in his eyes was so much different than the looks that the others would give me, their looks aimed no emotion at me, just selfish glares that told me to do whatever they told me to do.

I started to grip onto the blankets not knowing what else to hold onto to keep my sanity. He was also gripping onto a lifeline, but it just happened to be my hips. His fingers were holding onto me so tightly I swear there'll be fingerprint shaped bruises there in the morning.

I hear his breathing speed up and my does too almost as in perfect symmetry.

I can feel his dick slide in and out of me rhythmically and every time he slides back in the tip always touches my sweet spot perfectly making me lose control. I can feel my climax coming on. Closer and closer. I'm barely able to hold it in anymore. My hands start bunching up the blankets in my fist tighter.

He lends over and whispers into my ear, "Hold onto me." It was more of a suggestion than a demand.

I shiver when I feel his breath on my face.

Hold onto me.

I've always held onto you I think to myself. You and your smile are an anchor for me.

I listen to him and let go of the blankets. My arms drape over his shoulder and tie themselves around his neck. I cling onto him helplessly, pathetically. But for now, I don't give a shit.

Our bodies are rocking the bed. We're moving the sheets underneath us. I think the room has gotten much hotter too because of all the body heat we're letting out.

I can't hold it in much longer.

I feel my ass muscles tighten around him.

With a jolt feel, my body let out its release. I cum all over our stomachs, seconds later he comes after me.

And then it's over. I don't even bother to fix myself up. I just want to sleep so I curl up and drift off.

When I wake up, I find myself in the same crappy motel room but the sunlight is coming through the dingy curtains. I find myself neatly tucked under the blankets, confused as to how I got under them. I look around the room. Blonde is nowhere to be found.

I sigh. Of course, he's not.

Rolling out of bed I grunt at the pain that shoots up my lower back, I'm used to it so I ignore it as much as I can. The floor was bare, I noticed. My clothes should be somewhere but they're nowhere to be found. I crawl under the bed hoping to find them but nothing.

Click

I hear the door open. I quickly turn towards the door expecting a housekeeper to be standing there finding me naked kneeled on the floor looking under a bed but instead there stands the blonde with a stupid amused look on his face.

"What?" I snap.

He chuckles at me.

"Geez don't glare at me! I brought you clean clothes." He holds up a reusable bag filled presumably with the clothes.

"Where're my other clothes?" I say, snatching the bag he is carrying.

"Oh uh, they're in the bag too – I held them, hostage, so you didn't leave," he says quietly.

I don't reply but I am grateful for the clean outfit. I peek into the bag to find my old clothes neatly folded under the new clothes. It's just a simple black t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I can't tell if he bought them or they were his own but from the looks of it they were new.

"What?" I snapped again at the blonde who was just sitting on the corner of the bed watching me change.

"Nothing"

"You're such a weirdo" I mumble.

"Mh, well you're a jerk"

I roll my eyes at his childish tone.

I finished putting on the shirt, bought me and sat down next to him on the bed. It's awkwardly quiet for a moment and I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Then he speaks, breaking the silence that was swallowing us.

"Come with me."

I blink. Confused, I ask, "What?"

"I mean, I know I barely know you at all, but don't you ever just want to run away from this life of yours?"

Yes

"You could come live with me if you want or we could leave this town and you can start over. I don't have anybody here – it would be easy for me"

Ok

I think back to last night. He found me after I had been avoiding him. He said he asked everyone in the area if they knew where I was and when he finally found me yelled at me. Yeah, this guy I barely knew yelled at me asking me why I disappeared. He said he was worried.

"I thought you were dead!" He said. I remember feeling guilty. I shouldn't have, we didn't even know each others' names. Besides his passing smiles, we never interacted. I didn't owe this guy shit. With the guilt came annoyance. I wanted to be left alone. He made me feel something that I didn't want to feel. It was easier just to do what I had been doing without a reminder of what I could have – whatever that was. I told him to fuck off. I had to leave. There were people I had to meet. Money to be made. This city wasn't cheap, and I never had it easy.

"Be with me tonight instead."

Those words had taken me by surprise. But I had nothing to lose so I agreed against part of me screaming in fear of the unknown. What would happen if I blew off my usual routine to be with the friendly blond who seemed to care?

Now he's suggesting I run away with him? How absurd. How tempting.

"Why?" I ask him.

"I'm not sure, I just feel like I couldn't deal with you being like this." He looks down at his hands that were placed over his jittery knees.

I swallow. I want to leave but how could I trust him when I barely knew him?

"I know it's really weird of me to ask of such a thing but…just think about it ok?" He gets up to head toward the door and leave but somehow my arm moves on its own and reaches up toward his wrist and stops him from moving any further. I think I panicked. This was my chance, right? I hate that I felt stuck by shitty circumstances, by the shitty people I knew, by this shitty city. I couldn't let him leave when he was offering such an easy out.

"I'll go with you" I hear myself whisper.

He flashes me quite possibly his most blinding smile. "It's settled then."

Soon I find us both sitting in his old rusty car with everything he owned and a few things of mine shoved in the back seats. Between leaving the motel and packing his car up with as much we could I found out his name.

"My name is Naruto."

We left in a rush. Maybe he thought I would change my mind and honestly, maybe I would have had he truly given me more time to think.

By the time we are on the highway, the sun begins to set.

A goddamn buffoon I am. I think about how stupid this is. Leaving with a stranger. I peak into my backpack sitting on my lap. I have all my savings in a jar – I planned to do something big with it one day but at this point, it wasn't much but I hope it was enough to keep us going for a while.

"Aww fuck, we're running out of gas" I hear him grumble next to me breaking me out of my thoughts.

I snort, "You're such a loser, I told you, we should have stopped to fill before we left town."

"Pfft, whatever I can do whatever I want… I'm sure there will be a rest stop soon"

I roll my eyes, "Dimwit"

"Asshole"

"Idiot," I mumble as I look out of the window to see the trees lining up on the side of the highway flash by.

I hear him chuckle. Suddenly I feel warm and I find myself thinking that definitely if I'm with Naruto I'll be fine.

1.2

Two months.

Two months I've been with him. Eventually, we stopped in a city so far away from where we started that we will never figure our way back and no one we use to know can find us (hopefully).

It's been a month since we rented some shitty one-bedroom apartment. Could you even call it one-bedroom? All it was a small square room with no walls to separate anything from each other, other than the tiny washroom with a rusty sink. I'm not complaining, of course, it was something for now and with our limited remaining funds I was surprised we could even find a place to stay.

We had spent most of our savings on gas and food during our long, long road trip. Our home doesn't have a bed, but we take turns sleeping on this tacky blue couch Naruto bought on craigslist for 20 bucks.

The moment we stopped in this city Naruto had decided it was the one, and he was quick at finding us this apartment and just as quick in finding a library where he could print out resumes to hand out. He started working at a small restaurant as a line cook 15 minutes away from our apartment. I suppose with his bright personality it was easy to get a job. He started two weeks ago. He says he wants to save up money fast so we can get better living conditions.

I feel useless. I sit here every day since he started working, alone with nothing to do but read a few of Naruto's old books he brought along. I think about helping him get money, but I've only had one job in my whole life. I don't want to go back to that life, but I also don't know anything else.

One day Naruto comes home with a tiny TV and puts it in the corner of the room where a plug is. He looks so proud of himself; his smiles so big I can see his dimples.

"I got my first paycheck today," He comments happily, "I bought this at a garage sale on the way back, and since we can't afford cable, for now, we only have two or three channels.

He sits next to me on the couch, but I notice that there are inches apart from us.

Did you know he hasn't touched me since that time?

I've decided to get a job too because I hate being alone and I hate the fact that I watch Naruto come home every day talking about new friends. I wanted to have a normal life too, that was the point of leaving. I had gone to the library the moment Naruto left for work and had asked a girl, Karin, her name tag said, who worked there to help me apply for jobs.

I felt dumb. I was perhaps the only 18-year-old that didn't know how to even begin looking for a job. Karin was kind though and didn't make me feel dumb. Instead, she sat beside me at a computer and helped me search for local jobs. Even going so far as telling me to use her name as a reference when it was needed.

When Naruto comes home, he has Chinese take-out food with him. He hands me one of the containers of food and a pair of chopsticks. He talks to me a little about his day and asks me about mine. I haven't told him about going to the library yet.

"Naruto?"

He glances up from the food he was viciously scarfing down. "Hm?"

"How old are you?"

He chokes on the food in his mouth. I just watch him as he composes himself. "You don't know?"

I shake my head.

"Nineteen… My birthday is in a few months though." He pauses for a couple of seconds before clarifying, "It's on October 10th."

"You're only a year older than me."

"Figured as much."

"Did you finish High School?"

"Yeah… why?"

"I want to get my GED or something, I'm useless otherwise" I mumble.

"You're not useless"

But I felt it, still feel it…

"I tried today you know? Applying for a job, I can't live off you forever, eventually, you're going to find yourself someone or something better than whatever this is," I say as I wave my hand towards the rest of the tiny apartment, "and leave. I don't want you to take care of me anymore, that's not what I ever wanted. I need to have the option of independence"

So utterly useless

"And when that time comes, I'm going to be stuck here alone because I don't have enough money to get out of this shit hole and then I'm going to have to turn to my old devices because it's quick cash."

When did I become so bitter toward him?

No, it's bitterness towards myself.

Within seconds I feel his arms wrapped around me pulling me into a hug. I find myself clinging onto his shirt, my fist scrunching up the fabric. It's the first time he's touched me so closely for quite some time.

I want to kiss him, beg him to promise to never leave me because suddenly I feel so needy.

Somehow, I fall asleep without realizing it and him whispering words in my ear that I couldn't make out over my running thoughts. I woke up the next day wrapped in his arms. It was the first time we slept together on this couch. The food we never finished eating sits out and is now cold.

1.3

It has been a week since my mental breakdown (if you can call it that) and Naruto brings a GED book for me to study with when he comes back from work. He places it in my lap and sits next to me on the couch with another of his stupid big grins. He says something like 'you're welcome 'and I only give him a pathetic smile back, but I am internally extremely grateful.

Naruto gets up and walks over to this old guitar his boss from the restaurant gave him to keep since he had purchased a newer more polished guitar. Naruto begins playing a soft melody, nothing too hard yet the sound is soothing in some way. He sits on one of the kitchen stools we now have as I sit on the couch and begin flipping through the pages of the thick book.

"So, this is why you were late today?"

"Mmm," he hums in agreement, "You wanted to study, I just thought it is far easier to have the book with you rather than visiting the library all the time"

I give him another pathetic smile and he shoots another grin back at me then continues playing his guitar.

"I'm starving, would you like me to order pizza or Chinese?"

I shrug, "Whatever"

"Pizza it is then!"

At night I couldn't sleep because of my memories. Things I've done that haunt me with strong feelings of regret. So instead I turned over to watch Naruto sleep on the floor in his bundle of blankets. In the past week, it has become a thing for me to watch Naruto when he's not looking. Like when he's sleeping, watching TV or maybe even cooking. His face is full of expression all the time, unlike me. Sometimes when he watches a sitcom, he laughs full-heartedly never holding back the sound of his voice, when he's watching a drama you can see his face turn serious and intense. It almost makes me want to make the same expressions.

Only a few minutes have passed when he tiredly opens his eyes. He stares back at me in the darkness of the room. Maybe I woke him up with my stare. Maybe he had felt my eyes on him in the night.

"Hey," he says his voice scruffy from just waking up.

"Hi" I whisper back.

I can almost see him grin back at me even in the dark.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asks.

"No"

"Why not?"

"Just thinking - you?"

"I dunno' just felt like waking up."

I don't reply. We lay in silence. His sheets rustle as he shifts and turn in his pile of blankets.

"Hey, can I get on the couch with you?" He asks.

"You don't have to ask you bought it," I say. I scoot closer to the back of the couch to leave more space for him.

He climbs onto the couch beside me without a word. He lies on his side and faces me so both of us could fit on the couch comfortably. I feel him is breathing lightly feather my skin. Our faces are at frightening proximity and although we had been much closer before I couldn't help but feel embarrassed or at least a bit self-conscious. He starts running his fingers through my hair much to my annoyance, so I slap his hand away in irritation.

"Your hair is getting long you should cut it" he whispers.

"Shut up"

I feel his body move when he chuckles, "I can cut it for you tomorrow if you'd like?"

"The length is just fine" I mumble.

"No, no, of course, it's not fine I can't even see your face since your bangs are so long."

I didn't bother answering him.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important" I lie.

"Mmmm I don't think it isn't important if it keeps you awake"

"Shut up Naruto"

He chuckles again, "Ok," he says softly and doesn't push any further instead he moves his hand back to stroking my hair this time I don't swat it away. I end up falling asleep.

1.4

Over the last couple of weeks, our home has become a little bit fuller. More welcoming. Two small house plants sit on the windowsill of the only window in this entire apartment. There are a few doodles of mine that I made while waiting for Naruto to come home tapped onto the wall. Even though I had told him I didn't want them there he decorated the wall with my crappy art anyway. But I hate to admit all these little things make this once shitty apartment less...well, shitty.

Two days ago, Naruto had the money to spare to buy a nice new mattress that was big enough for both of us. He didn't get a bed frame after I insisted it was an unneeded purchase - so now the bed lays low on the floor. It takes up a lot of room but since the apartment is so small it was obvious that this would have happened. I sleep on the far side of the bed where the wall meets the mattress so that I don't get kicked off by Naruto in his sleep (not that the fall from the bed to the floor is a long one).

And life seems to be getting all-around better for me.

This the morning I wake up to the smell of bacon, slightly burnt toast and Naruto muttering profanities under his breath. I ignore him. I sit up and look across the room to the small kitchen where Naruto grumbles at his over toasted toast. His lower lip puffed out in a frustrated pout. I roll my eyes at his childishness.

"Good Morning, what time is it?" I ask after stretching.

"Early. I have to go to the restaurant today for prep work" he replies with a long sigh, "You can go back to sleep I'm leaving soon"

"No, it's ok I'm up"

"Ok, whatever...Hey Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"I was invited to a small get together later today around 7:30, I'd like you to come with me. I was going to ask you when I came back from work but now that you're awake..."

A get together? As in several people getting together in a certain place all at once? Unintentionally a scowl makes its way onto my face.

"I rather not," I say bitterly.

"Come on Sasuke! A bit of socialization wouldn't hurt you." He says before stuffing a piece of bacon into his loud mouth.

"I said no"

He frowns deeply making me slightly inwardly flinch at the hard look, he gives me.

"I'm serious Sasuke. You never go outside. You stay in this damn apartment all day and the only other person you see beside me is that red-headed librarian. I'm worried about you" He whines.

Worried.

I find myself irritated by his persistence to look after me, "You sound like a nagging mother"

"Well, I am nagging. I need to take care of you. Staying alone so much isn't healthy"

"I didn't ask you to be my fucking parent Naruto. I never asked you to take care of me." I snap out with a glare.

"I know you didn't, but you should know I do because I want to!"…He sighs, "It'll be good for you to make friends"

"I don't need friends!"

"Then what the heck am I," Naruto says sternly.

Oh...

A heavy silence follows his question.

I can't help to want to say that he isn't my friend. Naruto could never be my 'friend'. But I don't know what else to label him.

I just stutter out uncharacteristically, "But y-your different"

He blinks. Then lets out a long breath I guess he was holding in.

"I know... It's just... You're not...you just make me worried ok? If not for yourself for me please, please, please. Just come for a little bit. Just try."

I give up. His voice is so grossly desperate I can't help but feel sorry for him.

"Fuck, fine whatever," I grumble against everything on the inside screaming to say no. I hate dealing with groups of people.

"Yes! Thank you! I told all my friends from work about you, they'd be super happy to meet you"

I roll my eyes at him for the millionth time since I meet him.

"Well not everything," he says more quietly after a short pause.

I don't even bother thinking about what that implies. I feel utterly irritated with him.

"I don't care for Naruto. Go away you're going to be late for work" I say before laying back down and hiding under the blankets.

In the afternoon I head to the library as usual. Karin beams when she sees me walk in. She has been insisting on helping me study for my GED so whenever I come in, she sticks by me. Today Karin helps me write definitions onto flashcards to help me study and memorize key terms. She rushes through the last few, jotting down the words sloppily onto the back of the cards. She glances at the clock then back at me.

"Don't you have to get going soon?" She asks me.

I read the time.

"It would seem so," I say in a bored tone.

"Well you gotta' get going! You don't want to miss the party"

"It's not a party Karin it's a social gathering of sorts but not a party. Anyways I don't know any of them it's Naruto who is friends with them it wouldn't matter if I'm late"

"Of course, it matters! It affects people's first impressions! "

I just huff in irritation.

"Oh, stop being grumpy come on up, up" Karin insists as she tugs on my shirt sleeve.

"Ok holy shit stop acting like a five-year-old don't you have to be putting away books or something?"

"I do but you're the one that asked for my help with the flashcards"

"I never asked you, you just did" I huff again. I begin collecting my belongings and putting them back in my bag.

"Details, details! Oh and Sasuke? Tell me if you meet your future girlfriend at the party!" Karin whispers and winks suggestively while she begins walking back down the row of books further away from me.

As I walk home, I go as slow humanly possible. Maybe I would be late and Naruto would have to leave without me? I truly consider it but I begin feeling guilty - Naruto had never really asked me for anything from me and this was just a social gathering; I could deal with it for an hour or so. So, with a long sigh, I picked up my pace and had gotten to the apartment with a few minutes to spare.

We wait outside in the parking lot to be picked up by Naruto's friend Kiba, the one I heard so much about. To be honest I'm curious to meet him. I've always been irrationally jealous of their friendship; especially since Kiba seemed like he would know more about Naruto in the shorter period he's known him than me.

An old-fashioned white car finally pulls up and Naruto enthusiastically points to the car driving in signalling me to follow him to the car.

"Hey!" Naruto shouts, waving at the car.

The car parks in front of us and Naruto immediately opens the door to the back seats.

"Come on!" Naruto says while gesturing me to take a seat in the car.

Once I slide onto the seats of the leathery interior Naruto, to my surprise, sits next to me at the back instead of with Kiba in the passenger's seat.

"Hello! Thank you for picking us up buddy!" Naruto slaps the guy's shoulder harshly but Kiba doesn't seem to mind; instead, he turns around and grins at Naruto all his teeth showing, and he returns the favour by ruffling Naruto's hair just as harshly. I suddenly feel irrationally jealous again – Naruto had always kept a distance from me unless I needed him. We had a strange tension in whatever our relationship was.

The first thing I notice about Kiba is how sharp his canines were, they were like that of a wolf. The second thing was those red triangles tattooed onto his cheeks.

"So, this is Sasuke, Sasuke this is Kiba" comes a cheerful introduction from Naruto.

"Hello" I manage to get out, but my voice seems robotic even to my ears.

"Hey, nice to finally meet the famous Sasuke that Naruto never stops talking about." Kiba glances at Naruto then back at me, "Seriously, you're all he ever talks about sometimes."

I find myself smirking a little, "Same goes to you."

"Is that true?" Kiba turns to Naruto again to quirk an eyebrow mockingly.

I nod.

"Oh shut up you two," Naruto interjects, his face a little pink from a blush "Shouldn't we get going?"

"Yeah yeah, oh and sorry about the dog hair back there man my dog sheds like a sheep and I've given up at this point," Kiba says he begins backing the car out of the parking lot.

Both Naruto and I tell him we don't mind.

During the drive, I learned about Kiba was that he was very much like Naruto, cheerful and friendly but a bit more vulgar in his comments and use of language; it was always "fuck this," " fuck that", "fuck her," and "fucking shit."

I also discovered that Naruto dislikes smoking.

The drive to wherever we were going was 30 minutes into town and at some point, Naruto starts complaining about needing to go pee and not being able to hold it so Kiba must pull over at a gas station. While Naruto makes his way inside the little shop, he passed by a group of truck drivers standing outside smoking cigarettes. I watched as Naruto held his breath while he walked past the cloud of smoke and into the shop.

When he comes back to the car, I ask him and he says, "The smell of cigarettes makes me want to puke, I think I'm allergic to it …if that's even possible"

He shrugs and offers no more of an explanation. I decided to make a mental note to never take up smoking again.

We arrive at our destination in good time. Kiba pulls in and parallel parks on the street in front of a small house. There were a lot of cars in the driveway and it seems busy already. We walk up the pathway together, when we reach the door Naruto rings the doorbell a couple of times. The moment the door opens letting us in Naruto lights up. He greets the hostess with one of his bright smiles and a friendly hug. Her name is Sakura. She's pretty, her hair is a dirty blonde with light pink streaks and her eyes are the colour of Jade. She's also very kind and claimed to have heard a lot about me as Kiba had. She ushers us into her house and tells us to kindly take out shoes off so we do.

Once we get into the house Naruto walks to the living room where everyone is at and introduces me to the people he knows and Sakura introduces us to everyone else that were strangers to us both. I don't remember many names because everything was going so fast. Too many people for such a small house.

As the hour went by Naruto makes friends with strangers. Everyone is getting along. They drink punch and eat finger food while listening to various stories that have been told. I feel like I'm worlds apart from Naruto right now. I have never seen him like this before, but it didn't come up as a surprise. All my previous suspicions were proven correct: Naruto was the type of person to be nice to everyone and anyone. Everyone loved him. I didn't mind that they had all their attention on him. I didn't, but I felt ignored by him and that's what bothered me.

Then unexpectedly the voices begin sounding echoed but loud, like their yelling in my ears from a mile away. The faces seem to grow bigger like giants hovering over me, watching my every move. Everyone is talking and laughing and I'm just a spectator to their weird world but if I'm not careful I'll be noticed. If I'm not discreet I'll be seen through. Naruto isn't here to help me because he became one of them.

I feel jittery. Nervous. I just really want to leave but I don't want to be the loser that complains and needs to be taken home as a kid. I realize I'm scared.

I'm having an anxiety attack I recognize. This is why I didn't want to come. There're too many voices, too many faces, too many strangers that you don't know if you can trust.

I don't want to fall apart in front of all these people so I tap Sakura on the shoulder, she just happens to be sitting next to me.

She smiles, "Hmm?"

"I'm sorry, I was wondering where your washroom is"

"Oh! Follow me right this way!" She stands up and waits for me to follow her up the stairs to the second floor to the small peach coloured washroom.

I keep my composure for a few more minutes and smile politely. "Thank you so much"

She giggles, "You don't have to be so polite! Your welcome"

She heads back down the stair. I quickly shut the door when she's completely out of view and lock it before sliding down the door. I sit there on the washroom floor for a few seconds starring at the fuzzy pink carpet she has placed by the sink.

I hold my breath, bring my knees to my chest, hide my face in my knees and hope to god I stop being so pathetic. I hold it, and hold it, until I need air again. I don't feel any better; I can just feel it coming - the full-on break down where I can't even have the strength to even consider getting out of the safety of the washroom without hyperventilating.

But instead, I get up off the floor. I dust myself off and flush the toilet even though I never used it and there is no one on this floor to question what I was doing if not going pee.

When I step out, I see Naruto sitting at the top of the stairs. He looks over my way when he hears me come out.

"Hello."

"Um, hi?"

"You OK?"

I swallow, "I uh.."

"We can go home if you want?" He interjects before letting me answer his first question.

The sound of everyone downstairs laughing at a joke booms through the house. I don't want to be the burden of keeping him away from having fun with his friends. I wouldn't usually care but he's done enough for me as it is. I hate that I care about what he wants but I can't help what I feel and what I feel is guilty.

"You seem hesitant, I think that's a good enough answer. I'll tell Kiba we'll be heading out and call a cab" He says and begins walking down the stairs.

"You're not even letting me talk!" I argue although I don't know why I can't accept it.

He turns around to look at me, "I know you don't want to stay for much longer; don't force your self for me I can't be 100 percent comfortable if you're not, anyway I'll see them all at work some other time. Plus, we've been here for over an hour now I think that's good enough."

With that Naruto heads back down the stairs leaving me to follow.

"Oh! Naruto told me you two are going to head out!" Sakura says as soon as she sees me come down the stairs, "I'm glad I got to meet you have a safe trip home, come back again sometime ok?"

Sakura gives me an unanticipated hug but before I could pull away, she does first.

"Ah… Thank you for having us." I say to her.

"Hey Sasuke, I already said goodbye to everyone lets go wait outside for the cab," Naruto then turns to Sakura to hug her "Thanks again Sakura"

Once outside we barely wait 5 minutes for the cab to arrive.

We sit in the cab in silence. The cab driver's music plays quietly in the background. Naruto sits next to me in the back seat with his forehead against the glass and his finger lazily tracing pictures onto the fog on the window.

"Hey, Sasuke?" He says in an almost whisper.

"Yeah?"

"How about we spend the rest of the night hanging out. We can go out to a movie and dinner?"

I like that idea a lot better. I nod. He smiles that smile and I feel at peace.