I'm going to preface this by saying, I wasn't going to post this here, but since I am comfortable posting a fic containing anal play, I can do just about anything. This was written in response to a kmeme prompt requesting another FemShep/collared!LI fic.

I'm not wholly comfortable with this fic, not because of the kink or perviness it contains, but because of the fact that I am just really uncomfortable writing Tali for some weird reason. I don't feel like I capture her character well. That being said... be gentle with me.

Oh, and fair warning, contains consensual D/s, spanking, BDSM of consenting adults. Go team!

Life was different outside of a suit. At first, it had been overwhelming. The sensors in her suit transmitted external stimulation, but much was lost in the translation between suit and skin. She could not feel the smile of the sun on her face through the mask, or wind ruffling and playing with her hair, tickling her cheeks. Smells weren't filtered and scrubbed which made them more potent. Her peripheral vision was much better without the mask, her surroundings clearer without the haze of the visor.

Even after two years living on Rannoch, everything still struck Tali as being more acute, feelings much sharper than they had ever been before. She still wore her suit offworld, of course, but here, at home, she had adjusted enough that the suit was not necessary.

She hesitated by the front door of her home, closing her eyes and turning her face skywards, letting the afternoon sun warm her skin. It had been a long day meeting with the Admiralty Board. After the defeat of the Reapers, the priority had been rebuilding Rannoch, and without much time to organize a proper government that wasn't centered around the Fleet… well, it had not happened yet. And her voice held a great deal authority in quarian matters.

Sometimes, she wished she could forget it all, but she knew that was selfish. The constant squabbling among the quarians had not ceased, and her people were still adjusting to a whole new way of life. A whole new culture had to be built, but there were still those who wanted to cling to the old ways, as if they were still aboard the Fleet.

Tali sighed and forced herself to shove all those thoughts away. Shepard would be waiting for her inside, and the former Alliance commander and savior of the galaxy still had enough problems of her own to contend with. Shepard didn't mind when Tali vented whenever she had a rough day or complained about the Admiralty Board or any of the bosh'tets she dealt with on a daily basis. Her lover was far more than understanding of such things, but Tali wanted to forget all those things, leave them all behind and focus on Shepard.

She pushed open the door to their home, the home that she and Shepard had built with their own hands. Members from their old squad had helped; Garrus and Lt. Vega had helped erect the frame, put up the walls. Tali had done all the electrical work, the wiring and such. Miranda had stopped by, evaluated their security system, and immediately upgraded it. Even Ashley had contributed by picking out and installing light fixtures, faucets, painting, anything with a decorative flair. Slowly and surely their home had taken shape. Now it was complete. There was still more to do, Shepard insisted.

It was quiet inside, silent in a way that was still unsettling. If she had thought the Normandy had been quiet and empty, it did nothing to prepare her for the eerie stillness of living on a planet. Several muffled thumps alerted her that Shepard was in the back.

Tali abandoned her belongings on the kitchen counter on her way to the back door, eased it open and watched Shepard.

Another oddity that stemmed from the reclamation of their home world was the change in her lover's appearance. It was rare in all the years she had known the commander, that she had seen her in anything but a perfectly pressed uniform or armor. After they had become lovers, it was still a uniform that was shed into a puddle on the floor. Now Tali saw her lover in a new, less formal light now that she had retired and duty pressed upon her far less frequently.

Today, she wore a grey, sleeveless shirt that clung to her torso and baggy trousers tucked into the tops of her work boots. She was studying the measurements on a large plank of wood stretched between what she called "saw-horses." There was a pencil clenched between her teeth, locks of black hair escaping the clip that held the majority of her hair out of her face. She considered a moment, took the pencil between her teeth, and made a mark on the board.

There was a light sheen of sweat on the human's bare skin. Rannoch was warmer than the climate controlled environments they were accustomed to. Tali watched a drop of sweat bead and run down the muscled bare arm and shoulder facing her. Shepard was exceptionally larger than her; most humans were, but Shepard was above averagely tall for a human female. She was broad shouldered, and almost every muscle incredibly defined under smooth, olive skin. Tali felt her face flush as she watched the muscles in her forearms flex as she made another tick with the pencil.

When she had first met the commander, Tali found her sheer size intimidating, but it was nothing compared to her presence, the way she effortlessly commanded authority. She wasn't the only one who thought so, she knew. She'd seen krogan defer to Shepard with a tilt of her head. But now, she found that same presence comforting, reassuring even.

"You're home."

Tali startled a bit at the commander's voice, her heart tripping over itself at the sight of her lover's flawless smile: perfect, even white teeth a striking contrast to her dark skin. Keelah, Shepard still made her feel like the teenager she had been when they first met. "I didn't want to bother you."

Shepard shrugged and tucked the pencil behind her ear. "I wanted to finish our back porch." The porch was nearly finished, or at least Tali thought so. "A cover, to provide some shade." Shepard pointed to the sun, squinting pointedly.

Smiling, Tali crossed the scant distance between them and stood on her toes in order to place a light kiss on her lips. "I missed you today. Some days I wish I'd have let them exile me."

Leaning down, Shepard kissed her again, this time on the forehead. "I'd never had let that happen. Sorry. I'm all sweaty."

"I'll go draw a bath for you, or did you want to work some more?"

"No, the grandest porch in the world could hold no appeal for me when I have you home. I'm done for the day." Shepard grinned and placed her hand on Tali's neck, thumb stroking the skin lightly. "But take care of yourself, first."

Tali nodded quickly, and stood tip-toe for another kiss, this one lingering slightly longer than the first, before going back inside. She had been in such a rush to be home, be with Shepard, she had forgotten. Immediately she went into the bedroom, to the dresser that she and Shepard shared, opened a drawer. The collar was precisely where she had left it that morning, tucked in the top drawer next to some of her other most treasured possessions. Normally, she put it on immediately upon returning home. Practicality demanded she did not wear it during the day, but in their home, she felt naked without it.

It was a symbol, more than anything. She fastened the slim leather band around her neck, touched her fingers to it reverently. Just like the change in her name: Tali'zorah vas Normandy. The Admiralty Board had forced the change on her as a mark of shame when she had been tried for treason. But she had kept it, even after she had been cleared of all charges, thanks to the commander, her captain.

That had been the moment she realized that she belonged to Shepard, wholly and completely. Their relationship had been new then, tentative, but she had loved Shepard long before she ever confessed her feelings. Dashing commander, swooping in to save a helpless girl, taking her on a grand adventure to save the galaxy, and then defending her with such passion and zeal that Tali could scarcely believe that Shepard had been referring to her. How could she not fall in love?

Proudly, defiantly, the human commander had defended Tali while respecting her wishes not to implicate her father. She had stared down the Admiralty Board and scolded them as if they were children. Her eyes had stung with tears, and for once she had been grateful for her mask. No one had ever spoken on her behalf like that, with such fervent conviction, and after the trial, she had told Shepard so.

"Besides, it's fun watching you shout." She had said, half teasing. There was something appealing, something that made Tali's heart beat a little faster, whenever she saw Shepard truly riled. It was so rare that the commander raised her voice, but when she did, the quarian could not help but feel drawn to the awesome force she was capable of.

"Tali, about your father, about what he did… You deserve better." Shepard had reached out, placed a hand on her shoulder, and Tali could swear she could feel the heat of her hand through the armor, through her suit.

"I got better, Shepard." Tali had ventured quietly. "I got you."

Shepard had smiled, though Tali could not see it, she heard it in her voice. Withdrawing her hand, she nodded. "Let's go, Tali'zorah vas Normandy. Let's get back to our ship."

Tali lingered for a last glimpse at the Admiralty board before turning to follow the commander. "Thank you, Captain." She had whispered, so quietly that she doubted that anyone heard, even Shepard.

The quarian concept of service was innate, as was the notion of a captain's utter, unquestionable authority. When the entire existence of one's culture and people depended on everyone doing their job, obeying, depending and trusting a Captain to do what was best, to lead and guide and care for and discipline his crew if needed, such ideas were necessary. So, it was natural for Tali to consider herself and Shepard in this way. Shepard was her lover, her friend, her Captain.

Tali committed herself to Shepard in this way, long before they ever discussed it. Shepard had been a bit… surprised when the quarian finally broached the subject, stammering and over-articulating to compensate for the blush burning her cheeks. But her lover had been patient, gentle (she always was, mostly.) They talked about it for days, discussing it in both human and quarian terms, each explaining the perspective their own unique cultures afforded. It was what Tali wanted, even after much, incredibly embarrassing extranet research. Shepard wanted it too, but she was always so careful, so meticulous about protecting Tali, even from herself.

The collar had been a gift, after their successful mission through the Omega-4 Relay. It was an unspoken promise to one another. A promise that Shepard defied death in order not to break.

Smiling, Tali drew a bath, adding the perfumed salts her lover enjoyed. Shepard appeared a short time later, and Tali assisted her in pealing the dirty clothes from her body, her fingers grazing bare skin longer than was necessary. She gathered the discarded clothes together, and tossed them in the hamper while Shepard lowered herself into the bath, hissing with pleasure.

They talked while Shepard washed; it was part of their routine. If not bathing or showering together, Tali would sit on the edge of the tub watching as suds clung to the underside of Shepard's breast, the way her wet hair stuck to her neck, and they would talk. Or sometimes Shepard would simply listen as Tali gave enumerated lists about the incompetence of the Admiralty Board or detailed accounts of the newest infighting.

Today, they discussed more frivolous, pleasant things. Shepard's ambitions for their back porch, Tali's idea to improve the efficiency of the house's environmental controls. Things that mattered to no one but them but that was why they were so precious.

Dutifully, Tali held up a towel for Shepard to wrap herself in as she climbed out of the tub, caught her lower lip between her teeth and blushed at the sight of her naked, dripping lover. Shepard was beautiful, and Tali was constantly amazed that such a beautiful, perfect woman would choose her. She was also amazed that even after so many years, Shepard could still make her feel like an awkward, stammering girl. It wasn't that Shepard wanted for suitors; pretty much the entire crew was in love with her at some point or another, but Shepard had chosen her, and it made her heart swell with pride.

They made it to the bedroom, Shepard toweling her hair dry while they discussed plans for the next quarian holiday. "By the way, I spoke with Garrus today."

Tali's heart skipped a beat, and she faltered a bit as she picked out clean clothes for Shepard, grateful that her back was towards her. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Said he wants to come for a visit soon, he said. The primarch can spare him for a couple of days of leave." Shepard continued, seemingly oblivious to Tali's sudden nervousness. "You haven't talked to him recently?"

"No, not for several weeks. He's always busy. I'm always busy. You know how it is these days, everyone is still trying to rebuild." Tali babbled in a rush, attempting to focus on the shirt and trousers she had picked out. She hated lying to her, but there was no way she could know. Could she? "But I'm glad you spoke with him. A visit would be nice." She forced a smile as she turned to face Shepard, who had wrapped the towel around her waist and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting.

"It would be nice. I miss the old crew sometimes." Instead of taking the offered clothing, Shepard pulled Tali into her lap and kissed her neck, then her cheek. "So you haven't spoken to him or Liara lately?"

"No, not lately." Tali settled into her lap, feeling incredibly small but safe wrapped in Shepard's arms.

Shepard's breath and lips tickled her ear. "You're lying to me."

There was an undercurrent in the commander's voice, something low and predatory, and Tali immediately scrambled to escape. But Shepard was quick and much stronger than her, and in half a moment, she was sprawled face down over her lover's lap. Tali squirmed, mostly to feel the firm hand in the small of her back hold her in place and the resulting shudder of warmth in between her legs.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Shepard." Tali protested, knowing that it would only provoke Shepard further, and she was not disappointed by the sharp sting of Shepard's hand against her backside that was her answer.

It was followed by several more smacks, equal in force but quick enough that they stung fiercely, causing Tali to struggle in earnest. Despite the now constant burning of her posterior, she knew Shepard wasn't really upset with her. This was clearly play; punishment was rare and much more severe. "Care to explain the six or seven encrypted calls you logged over the past couple of days?"

Mentally, Tali cursed; she did not think Shepard would find those, but she said nothing, which only earned her another barrage of smacks, and she clung to Shepard's calf. The first time Shepard had spanked her, Tali had been mortified. Being bent over her lover's lap was beyond embarrassing, as was having her ass repeatedly slapped until protests turned to pleas and promises. But it was also incredibly erotic, and equally mortifying had been how wet Tali found herself at the end of the spanking.

Her face still flushed with embarrassment at being in such a vulnerable position, but now she knew she enjoyed, even craved sometimes, each painful ministration. Something about having Shepard in complete control of her, something about surrendering completely to whatever Shepard wanted was unbelievable arousing. Knowing that she had no choice but to submit… "Ow! Shepard, it hurts!" She finally cried out, and surprisingly, Shepard stopped and set her to her feet, deft fingers making quick work of all of Tali's clothing until she was as naked as Shepard was, minus the towel.

"It's supposed to hurt," Shepard said firmly but grinned. Her fingers felt in between Tali's legs, exploring the slickness they found. Tali gasped and grabbed onto her lover's wrist to steady herself, as pleasure and pain collided, leaving her dizzy. "Are you going to tell me what those calls were about?"

Tali stubbornly remained silent and didn't resist as she was tipped back over Shepard's knees, and the spanking resumed. Without the added barrier of protection her pants provided, the sting was much more forceful, and Tali cried out with each. She struggled because she knew it turned Shepard on, and Shepard just held her more firmly, which she knew turned Tali on. "You've been naughty, Tali."

"Teach your girl a lesson then, Captain." She gasped as Shepard's fingers found their way in between her legs again, this time entering her, thrusting into her slowly. Tali cried out again, this time from pleasure. The uncertain balance of pain and pleasure was dizzying to her senses, physical sensation drowning out all thoughts or coherence. There was only Shepard, and Shepard's hand, fingering her, teasing her clitoris, spanking her again. She began to alternate, spanking Tali until she was breathless, until she was certain she was close to her limit, then abruptly stopping and fucking her while she was still draped across her lap.

Tali held back, the crest of orgasm tantalizingly close, her body shivering with the effort of holding back. Her whimpers bled into please, and she promised to behave, to do whatever her captain wanted. She waited until Shepard told her to cum. Her body tensed, her inner muscles clenching around Shepard's fingers as she rolled her hips, hard. Wave after wave of delicious pain/pleasure swept over her until her body finally relaxed, still bent over her lover's lap, boneless and sated.

"Oh, I'm not done with you, yet, my pretty girl." Shepard growled in her ear and felt herself easily lifted and bent over, her upper body resting flat on the bed. The soft fabric felt rough against her hypersensitive skin, and her heart fluttered with excitement that her brain was still too hazy to register. Until she felt the cool tip of a phallus push at her entrance. She hadn't noticed Shepard put it on, but she immediately recognized he feel of the special dildo, the one that mimicked human male sensations for a female.

She nearly came off the bed as her lover entered her fully, thrusting deeply. It was too much, too soon, but Shepard pushed her down, placing her hand on the back of Tali's neck, holding her in place as she began to fuck her. The crude expression still made Tali blush. Shepard had been her only lover, a virgin on their first night together. And while the things they did together since then would probably make Aria blush, Tali still found she was slightly chagrined by giving voice to them.

But that was what they were doing. Shepard had bent her over and was taking her, relentlessly, physically claiming her, and Tali loved it. Her fists clenched helplessly in the covers, her face pressed against the blanket, and she moaned, and pushed backwards, taking her lover her in deeper. She wanted to be fucked like this, to be Shepard's in every way: physically, mentally, wholly.

They came together, Tali with a long cry and Shepard with a half-moan, half-grunt of release. Shepard's hand was still on the back of her neck as she withdrew, but Tali didn't move. She didn't feel herself capable of moving, even if she wasn't waiting for the command or gesture to remove her from her current position. She was limp, exhausted, sore, but gloriously content. She felt Shepard bend over, felt that the dildo had been removed, felt the softness of her skin against her own. A kiss was placed on her shoulder, as infinitely gentle as she had been rough moments before.

Shepard lifted Tali again, this time in her arms and lay on the bed, pulling Tali on top of her. Stretched out with her head resting on Shepard's chest where she could hear the languid thrum of her heart, Tali's feet only came to just below Shepard's knees. She sighed happily and closed her eyes as Shepard's fingers threaded through her hair. "You keep doing that, and I'll fall asleep." She purred. "And we haven't eaten dinner yet."

"It can wait." Shepard kissed the top of her head and embraced her tightly for a moment. "I'm comfortable. "So, you never did tell me what those encrypted calls were about."

"You never gave me the chance!" Tali grinned and tilted her head up to look at her lover. She yelped at the sudden, surprising smack Shepard delivered to her already sore rear and mock glowered. "Fine! I read that it was custom among humans to celebrate the date of one's birth." She ducked her head, suddenly feeling very shy about her idea. What if Shepard didn't like it? Or worse, what if she were angry? "I invited some of the old crew, just a few, so we could celebrate it together. With the people we love."

The silence stretched on so long that Tali timidly sneaked a glance at her lover, fearful of what she might find there. But Shepard was smiling softly, gazing down with such open affection that Tali's heart immediately sang with relief. "I don't deserve you." She whispered into Tali's hair, as if she didn't trust her voice.

"Yes you do!" Tali sat up abruptly, straddled Shepard's midsection and planted a hand on either side of her head. "You deserve me! You deserve everything you want. You saved the galaxy, Shepard!" She bent down and kissed the commander, hard. "You cured the genophage. You gave me, my people our home world back. The least I can do is throw you a party on your day of birth! Must you be so difficult?" While a little humility was a good thing, Shepard took the value to a frustrating extreme sometimes. Tali kissed her again. "So be quiet, and let me do something nice for you!"

Amused, Shepard tilted her head and grinned. "Alright, I surrender, love of mine." She held up her hands, palms out before resting them on Tali's hips, her dark eyes shaded with nothing but adoration. "I love you. So much." Her smile twisted into something more sinister, more mischievous. "Someone needs to be put in her place." She hooked her fingers into Tali's collar, pulled her in for a deep, slow kiss.

Tali smiled into her lips, touching their noses together. "If you think you can." She teased playfully, giggling as Shepard flipped her onto her back and covered her with her body.

And remember: every time you read a fic/fill and don't leave a bit of feedback, a baby Reaper gets its wicked-killing-laser-thingie. So please, think of this cycle, and leave a comment. :-)

I do believe I've written the porn out of my system for today. Now I need something fluffy or angsty to sink my teeth into.