*peeks out from behind cement wall* Erm... hello? Are you there, readers? It's me, Lost...

*DUCKS FLYING TOMATOES*

I'M SORRY OKAY SUPER SORRY! I did NaNoWriMo and then kind of got caught up in original fiction but I'm baaaack! Promise! And here- I have a present for you all in the shape of an update! FORGIVE MEEEEEE!

Enjoy!

...

Penny wasn't a nervous person. You couldn't afford to be as a spy. But as the plane's wheels touched down on American soil, placing her for the first time ever in this country, she couldn't help the spurt of fear that made her stomach crawl.

Her father, Simon, placed a hand on her knee. "Mind on the mission," he cautioned, his wonderfully English accent the only comforting thing among the several Americans on the plane.

"It is," she protested.

"You're anxious," her father told her. "This is your first official mission as an MI6 agent—"

"Probationary intern," Penny corrected.

His eyes crinkled as he smiled. "Same thing. And I suppose it also has to do with that James boy, too."

A blush crept up her cheeks faster than she could mask it, and Penny turned her face towards the window. "It has nothing to do with him," she denied.

Simon sighed. His daughter was as stubborn as her mother, which was both a blessing and a curse. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll do fine. And I'm sure he hasn't forgotten about you."

Penny shot him a look that plainly said she was surprised he could read her so well, but Simon was a spy. Not to mention, they were related, and he knew that look on her face. He offered a small smile, which she returned as the seatbelt safety sign blinked off.

"Are you sure you can't come with me?" she asked dejectedly. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep even one of those overly energetic boys safe, let alone all four of them."

"You know I'm needed with the CIA," Simon reminded her. "They're more worried about things I'm not allowed to discuss with you and it's frankly quite an honor they considered me an asset in the first place. Believe me, Penny, you'll be alright without me for a few days."

Penny sighed, biting her lip. "Alright," she said, grabbing her carry-on backpack from the overhead bin. "Be careful."

"You too."

They entered LAX and went their separate ways.

…

"KENDALL WAKE UP!"

Which is exactly what Kendall did. The blonde's eyes flew open and he screamed along with Carlos, who was sitting on his bed shaking him awake, already dressed for the day.

"Carlos!" he shouted when he'd calmed down. "What are you doing?"

"We're back at the Palm Woods," Carlos said, blinking innocently. "That means we can go to the pool. Which means we should go right now!"

"Carlos," Logan moaned from the other side of the room, "it's seven in the morning."

"Yeah!" Carlos jumped off of Kendall's bed, making Kendall groan in pain as his foot clipped his abdomen. "Sorry Kendall. Anyway, the pool opens at seven! So we should get going now, guys!" He shot towards the door like a pressurized rocket, leaving it swinging open.

Kendall shook his head. Leave it to Carlos to get them all up on the one day they were allowed to sleep in. He threw off his covers.

"You're actually going?" Logan asked when he saw Kendall stand and stretch.

The blonde shrugged. "You know Carlos. If we don't come he'll drag us, kicking and screaming."

Logan merely responded by throwing his covers back over his head.

…

"Cannonball!"

The whole Palm Woods heard Carlos holler at the top of his lungs as he launched himself into the pool. Kendall, James, and Logan cringed back as water splattered their chairs.

"Dude!" James complained, standing off to wring out his clothes and hair.

Carlos resurfaced and laughed at him. "I think you look better like that."

James lunged for him, but Carlos ducked underwater before James could reach him. James pouted and crossed his hands over his chest.

"Looks like Carlos is finally having fun," Kendall commented as James sat back down.

James frowned. "Yeah. Ever since he started having those nightmares he's been quieter than usual. I think it was just stressful, going on tour and then dealing with that crazy moon dude—"

"Please," Logan groaned, rubbing his leg as if he could still feel the sting of a dart. "Can we not mention psycho British people with guns bent on world domination? I've barely recovered from that experience."

Kendall ignored Logan. "So the nightmares are gone?"

James shook his head. "He had another one last night. I thought they would go away once we got home but…" He trailed off with a shrug.

"He looks fine now," Logan noted as Carlos belly-flopped after jumping into the water again.

James didn't want to disagree, but something in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise.

He didn't get a chance to wonder why that was because a voice behind them made them all jump. "'Ello, boys."

What in the…? James recognized that voice. That was his sort-of British girlfriend/spy partner in crime. James whirled around with wide eyes. "Penny! What are you doing here?"

The redhead pulled off her sunglasses and looked around the Palm Woods disdainfully before eyeing the boys as they stood to greet her. "I've got bad news and good news," she said. "Bad news: Moon escaped prison four days ago. Worse news: he was spotted here in America yesterday. We think he's coming for you guys."

"So then what's the good news?" Carlos asked as he climbed out of the pool.

She gave him a brisk smile. "I'm here to protect you."

"Great!" James sounded slightly hysterical. "I feel better already!" He took three steps and dropped into the pool.

Penny glanced at the others and Kendall rolled his eyes. "He's having a freak out moment. Just give him a few seconds."

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Logan said as James resurfaced. "Atticus Moon escaped prison? How?"

"They were transporting him to prison," Penny corrected. "The transport bus was attacked by, and I quote, "a man with a giant hammer-hand." No one else escaped but Moon. We've been trying to track him for days. When he finally showed up in New York, my father sent me here to keep an eye on you boys until he returned."

"Where's your dad now?" Kendall asked, sounding nervous. "I mean, no offense Penny, but you could get hurt trying to protect us. Moon's gone after people we care about before."

Penny made a waving motion with her hand. "Yes, yes, your sister. I know, Kendall, I was there. But I am a trained MI6 operative—"

"Aren't you a little young to be a spy?" Logan interrupted.

She glared at him. "Alright, I am a trained MI6 probationary intern. My father's taught me everything I know. He's currently working with the CIA at their Los Angeles headquarters to try to stop Moon in case he tries something as insane as ruling the world again. So don't worry."

"Worry about what?" Camille asked as she walked into the pool area. She eyed Logan. "Welcome back. I was going to tackle you, but I heard the commotion. What's going on?"

Carlos turned to her, and his eyes were narrowed dramatically. "More than you know."

Logan sighed. "We should go back inside. It's a long story."

…

Camille looked mad. "So you were, what, spies for a day?"

Logan rubbed his forehead. "Sort of? It's really complicated, but we got swept up when Penny's dad swapped Kendall's backpack with his. We thought it was over, but now Moon's escaped, and apparently he wants revenge for us ruining his plan to rule the world."

"And there were Beatles songs," Carlos added.

"And he kidnapped Katie," Kendall grumbled.

"But I saved us, so it's all good." James flashed Camille a winning smile, while Penny scoffed from her corner of the room.

They sat in Apartment 2J, watching Camille to gauge her reaction. The brunette crossed her arms and pouted. "Do you know how cool that could've been? Actually running around with spies and saving the world? It's like you guys were in a movie and you didn't even care!"

"I cared," Carlos pointed out, raising his finger to correct her.

"You know, I would care," Logan said, "but I was too busy getting shot." He held up three fingers. "Thrice!"

Kendall shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What matters now is that we stay safe and wait for the CIA and Penny's dad to catch Moon before he does something crazy."

Camille's dark eyes danced. "Can I help?"

"No," Logan said firmly. "I'm not letting Moon hurt you or anyone else."

"Guys," Penny interrupted, sounding exasperated. "There's a small chance that Moon isn't even here for you."

"Oh sure," James said sarcastically, "because the first place he would go when he escaped prison is America, just to see the sights and lay low."

"All I'm saying is that it doesn't help being so pessimistic," she insisted. "Almost everyone in protective custody makes that mistake—they're so paranoid that they lead the assassin right to them and bam. That's that. They're finished."

Logan tinted slightly green around the edges. "Thank you for that visual."

"What you need to do," Penny said, raising her eyebrows, "is go about your normal business. Don't worry about Moon. If he does show up, I'll take care of him. But he probably won't. So you're being cautious for nothing."

"You just said if we're overly paranoid he'll get us," Carlos pointed out.

Penny rolled her eyes. "No arguing. I already told you I'm your protective detail. You'll be fine."

It was quiet for a moment, and then James spoke up. "Well I, for one, don't actually mind that." He swung an arm around Penny's shoulders, only removing it when she glared at him. "Penny's right. What's the worst that can happen?"

"We could die," Logan deadpanned.

"Horrible, painful deaths," Kendall added.

Carlos smiled brightly. "Sounds like we're in for another adventure, guys!"

The others stared at him before Kendall threw up his hands. "I need to tell my mom," he muttered, heading for the door. "And find out where Katie is."

"Camille, can I talk to you for a second?" Logan asked, shooting her a glance. "Alone?"

Camille looked disappointed but nodded, and they followed after Kendall.

"Well, Penny, since you're our bodyguard and all," James started out smoothly, "I can give you a full tour of the Palm Woods. And maybe afterwards we can picnic in the park!"

"Maybe." Penny's voice was dry. She cast a glance at Carlos. "Will you be okay by yourself?"

Carlos smiled at her, but it was definitely dimmer than a moment before. "I'm not going anywhere."

Penny was the only one who seemed to notice. She didn't look convinced, gazing at him in concern, but there was nothing she could do as James all but pulled her out of the apartment, leaving Carlos alone in 2J.

He crossed to the window to look outside and could see Logan and Camille arguing below. Pressing his forehead to the glass he let out a long sigh and hoped his dream wouldn't come true. Not this time.

…

"So when can we exact revenge?" Moon wanted to know as he watched Hawk pace. His assistant, another Londoner, was tapping at a computer on the desk and the noise was driving him insane.

"Patience, my enlightened friend," Hawk soothed, flashing him another infuriating smirk as he pulled down his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose. "Three times have I tried to get the better of Big Time Rush, and three times did they thwart me. … Four times if you count the first one. But that's besides the point."

"Which I really wish you would get to."

Hawk smirked at him again but didn't comment on his apparent impatience. "What worked the best was when they were separated. I had James eating out of my hand and the only reason that fell apart is because his ever loyal friends talked him out of it." His voice soured. "There are four of them. We need to pick them off one by one, until there is no one left to save or be saved by anyone."

Moon couldn't help but match the grin stretching across Hawk's face. The man was narcissistic and grated constantly on his nerves… but what a mind he had. What a mind.