Tu Me Manques

Summary: Dr. Archibald Hopper has found himself as the only support for a patient who never wanted to be helped. As a friendship deepens, Archie discovers conflict within his heart as Cherise begins her march towards the inevitable end. Who counsels a psychiatrist? Archie (Jiminy)/OC

Chapter 18: Adjustments

Archie wasn't sure why he was awake around six in the morning on a Saturday. He didn't set an alarm on Friday nights. He usually had a bit of whiskey at the Rabbit Hole and would take a slow, leisurely walk home, then settle into bed while feeling sorry for himself. Recently there had been a few changes in his life that he was still starting to adjust to. He had been skipping out on those Friday nights. There was no need for an alarm when the sweet aroma of something delicious was wafting up the stairs and trying to pull him out of bed.

If that hadn't woken him up, then it was the sound of a record playing in the kitchen. He couldn't quite make out the music selection, but it made his toes tap for a moment. He recognized this song. It was unmistakable. This was in the jukebox at Granny's. One night, Leroy had played it over and over after getting off a nightly janitorial shift. At least it was a good song, but someone hadn't agreed with him and sent the register flying into the jukebox.

The more Archie pondered, he realized that had been Granny. That was after the heart attack and she wasn't spry enough to beat Leroy into the ground herself.

"I can't stop this feeling..! Deep inside of me!
Girl, you just don't realize what you do to me..."

That wonderful voice... It was leading him not just to the food, but that pleasant new adjustment in his life. It took some getting used to, but Cherise was an early riser because of her school schedule. It was hard to break her of her habits, even when she was supposed to be resting. He'd let her have her mornings. She said it was easier to "be a menace to the neighborhood". He knew his bias was glaring and becoming more obvious, but if she sought to terrorize the street with her singing, then one could only hope to be so unlucky.

"When you hold me...!
In your arms so tight...!
You let me know...everything's all right.."

Archie had begun to descend the stairs, chuckling to himself as Cherise's singing filled the once quiet house. There was once a cold and loneliness that had settled on the walls. Now sunshine crept in with a lazy ease and spread itself through the entire house. No longer did the bachelor and his dog dread the chilly, empty house in the mornings. Now there was someone sitting at the kitchen table always waiting for them. Today, she was singing. And that smell indicated she must have been up to something delicious!

Pausing briefly, he scanned the second stair for his spotted companion. It struck Archie that Pongo was mysteriously absent. Usually, the dalmatian occupied the opposite side of the bed or rug by the door. With no Pongo in sight, Archie had a guess to where Pongo had wandered off to...

"Hey! Pongo! Solo! Here it is! Your solo! Sing it boy!"

Archie had been completely abandoned in favor his new roommate, he now realized. He wanted to feign disappointment, but when it came to food he knew Pongo followed his stomach. Cherise was also a source of interest these days so he had to admit, the sounds must have been interesting. But singing? Was she really trying to teach his poor dog to sing?! Archie peeked his head into the kitchen in time to see Cherise holding out a spatula in front of Pongo, trying to encourage him to "sing". He sang alright. It was more like a small bit of confused howling to the scratchy disco record as it continued playing. Cherise sang along, holding out the notes while an amused Archie watched her silently.

"I'm...hooked on a feeling...!" She covered her mouth, improvising with a bit of some sort of trumpet as she swayed back and forth.

"I'm high on believing...!"

Was...something burning...?

"-Shit!"

Cherise scampered towards the gas range, launched herself onto a step stool so she could reach the burning (but once glorious) golden discs, and frantically tried to flip the pancakes that had not survived her attempt to revive disco. She frowned, swore to herself, then glanced down at Pongo, who was waiting eagerly at her heels.

"I think the French have a saying the dog gets the first crepe. It's not a crepe and I'm pretty sure these are bad for you...but Archie's not watching. If you narc on me, no more of that peanut butter substitute I buy that you really like." Cherise allowed the burnt pancakes to flop into Pongo's dog dish unceremoniously. Tail wagging, Pongo went forth to claim his prize.

"I don't think you have to worry about my dog saying anything. You've bribed him enough." Archie waved from the doorway. "Good morning."

Cherise glanced over her shoulder and smirked.

This really shouldn't be happening. This was her psychiatrist. This was his house. She was living here because she couldn't be trusted by herself. Too many accidents, Dr. Whale claimed. He was probably right. How many medical emergencies had she had this year? She lost count. That wasn't a good sign. "I uh...made you breakfast. Or I made Pongo the first serving and you're next. How does that sound?"

From scratch. She had woken up early to do it all from scratch. Archie's breath stilled a moment as he watched her tiny, delicate fingers struggle with the batter for a moment, then pour out the pancakes. The only inability she had was physical weakness. Her body was at war with itself. There were things she longed to do and her body answered in turn, telling her she wasn't allowed. She huffed, then placed down the bowl.

"Cherise, could I help at all...?" Archie spoke with a bit of caution. It had been nearly a war to get her to agree to this arrangement, but it was a last resort. If Cherise wasn't going to live here, it could have been hospice. With her here, she could have some control over the rest of her life.

He had to remind himself that it was going to be a short arrangement. This precious moment of seeing her vibrant and lively, cooking in a fully stocked kitchen was something he needed to treasure. These moments had to be held dear while he still could enjoy them. He adored her and he knew he'd lose her. He promised he would handle his own emotions when the time came, so it would be a monumental task of watching Cherise live and then fade.

Letting her have the bittersweet joy of struggling with cooking felt against his nature, so he asked before he intruded. "I'm not gonna force my help on you because I know you're...you know."

Cherise rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah. Dead girl walking."

Some days were joking days. Some days were days of realizing it would be over all too soon. It seemed like today might be one for jokes and sarcasm. Archie tried to smile.

"I was going to say because you're a woman." Sarcasm didn't suit Archie so well. The smile turned into one of realizing how sour the words came out. His face contorted into one of self scolding and horror. Before he could announce his mistake, Cherise paused abruptly and raised the spatula in the air like it was a weapon.

"Ooh, Dr. Hopper, nice guy in Storybrooke... What the hell was that? Some misogyny? I'm a very modern woman. I can handle a pancake. I got two of my own!" Joke saved.

Archie snorted, finding himself delighted and unable to hold back giggles as Cherise went off the cuff with her comments and began waggling the spatula in his face. "See this, Archie? With this I'll rule the world." She raised her voice an octave higher on the last word, if that was even possible. Pongo whined at the sudden, shrill noise, then went to take up a space under the table. Perhaps he could play upon both Archie and Cherise's emotions for another pancake. Yet the two remained by the stove, locked in cheerful banter.

"And you'll torture everyone with disco at six in the morning?" He smirked as he moved beside her, watching the pancakes slowly grow golden and began to sizzle. Cherise pried the pancake from the skillet and flipped it, then caught it before answering.

"Show tunes. I only have one disco album. The rest is all show tunes. What do you think I got to listen to in the convent? We really liked The Sound of Music. Is that surprising? I bet it isn't." Another pancake flipped and landed in the pan. "I'm still trying to figure out the sound system you have. I'm just happy you have records. Otherwise I'd be lost."

His smile grew.

Mornings had become a ritual. Cherise was up first, so she would pick the music selection. If she wasn't using her lone disco record, then it was The Sound of Music or The King and I. If neither of those seemed worthy, she would borrow one of Archie's jazz records.

Even if the two of them were supposed to be productive that day, Archie found himself never wanting to run errands or trudge off to his job. He wanted to stay home now. He wanted to be lazy on the porch with jazz playing in the background while watching Cherise read or grade papers next to him. It just seemed like this perfect image he couldn't shake from his mind... He liked the show tunes in the morning and found himself humming with some of the more famous songs. By now, he knew Whistle a Happy Tune by heart. Maybe it would give Cherise a smile if he learned how to play one of the songs on his clarinet...

But he did not want to leave. It used to be that he knew his job was important and he knew he was helping people. People had problems. There were people who had problems worse than Cherise! Even when Cherise was gone, there would always be a need for him.

Today he could enjoy her presence. He could enjoy Cherise for a little bit longer and try to cope with his own muddled feelings towards her. He could try and digest just how he felt besides the duty to care for a friend. Being a friend with anyone was complicated in a small town like Storybrooke, so it left him in compromising situations like this fairly often. Stay a friend? Be a psychiatrist? Was there a right choice? Was it manipulative? What would anyone say about this at all? His heart constantly ached.

The disco stylings were starting to drone on in his head, making it harder for him to grasp his thoughts. No matter what Archie felt, there wasn't anything he could do. This had been for Cherise's own good. For her health. For her safety. Above all things, Cherise's health came first.

"Give me a second. I'll get that." Archie needed a moment while his thoughts flew. He turned and walked towards the record player in the sitting room and gingerly lifted the needle from the disco record.

It was only a few seconds to walk back, but it felt like an eternity as his head continued to plague him with conflict. Wasn't this supposed to be easier when he was putting his energy into helping Cherise live the life she had left? Why was it getting harder? All he wanted was for her to be happy before she died. So why did his heart hurt so much?

It would be the most selfish thing to impose on her. She's my patient. We can't even be a doctor and patient anymore with this arrangement. She already has such little freedom now. What if I tell her and she feels obligated because she lives here? I can't tell her anything. I have to protect her. But I promised her I'd handle my emotions! I said I'd be alright. I promised her we'd be alright! But what if she doesn't know and she'd hate me because I never gave her the chance to choose for herself?

His thoughts were like a drill gouging into his brain. Archie could see the graphic depiction in his mind's eye. Blood began to spurt and brain matter splattered as the drill forced the words from his thoughts deep within his brain, reminding him of his repulsive selfishness. His face slowly washed with horror. Why this vivid imagining? Did his subconscious hate him that much for his emotions?

"You feeling okay, Arch?" Cherise called from the stove as she stacked the pancakes and brought them to the table. Her eyes traced over his hunched over form with concern. He wanted a brief bit of distance and that wasn't hard to guess, but why did he do it? She hadn't seen his expression, but the prolonged silence had caused a bit of concern. She went to place the stack of pancakes on the table.

"Yeah. The sound was bothering me a little bit." It wasn't a total lie, but it gave him a moment to recover.

"Oh!" Cherise replied with a surprised sort of chirp to her voice. "Well... I can eat these. I followed a kidney friendly recipe. No full fat milk for the batter. I'm responsible! Well. Sort of responsible. You caught me feeding your dog." Archie had witnessed her crime after all. Her voice perked up as she winked, trying to draw attention to her devilish mood. Not satisfied to just have the pancakes, Cherise set out Archie's rather expensive and fancy syrup dispenser. It might have been a gift. Archie couldn't remember, but it drizzled a perfect amount of syrup with a slight tilt and minimal effort. Chopped up in a tiny ramekin were slices of apples with cinnamon to top the pancakes. Satisfied with how she had set up their breakfast table, Cherise took a seat at the opposite end as gracefully as she could, which was like a hippo performing ballet due to her lack of energy after preparing the morning meal. "I figure I have to pay my rent somehow. I'll cook and I'll-"

"Have fun. Rest. Enjoy yourself. Listen to the doctors a little?" Archie served himself the pancakes and opted for the syrup. He hadn't looked up yet. He was imagining his syrup slowly oozing together to spell out 'selfish' so it could chastise him as well for taking advantage of his friend's vulnerability.

"Do I have to? Really? Can't I raise a small army of my students and take over Storybrooke while demanding better handicapped parking?" Cherise wrinkled her nose while stabbing her fork into the freshly sliced apples. After supplying herself with an adequate pile, she pulled over two of the smaller pancakes. With some positioning, she then allowed herself a small portion of syrup. Even if maple syrup was a safe food, this was just a sugary substitute found at the supermarket. She still had to be careful. Eyeing Archie's saturated pancakes, she realized just how enticing they looked. It was delicious to indulge and oh-so-inviting. Her eyes darted to his fork and knife as he carefully began to free a piece of the pancake and sample it.

"Well?" She asked excitedly. "Am I terrible? I mean my party snacks suck. Does my breakfast suck? If I can manage breakfast, I can still be taught."

Archie tried not to choke on the fluffy, syrupy bit of heaven that he was attempting to savor as Cherise was goading him on.

"Oh just tell me it tastes like dog shit!" Cherise grinned.

"Would you stop? My mouth is full!" The psychiatrist's cheeks had tinged a color that matched his hair.

"Okay maybe not like Pongo. But rabbit turds? Totally like rabbit pellets."

"Cherise, can I taste this in peace? You made a wonderful and thoughtful breakfast and you're trying to get me to laugh! Stop!" The cheeks began to turn a tomato-like color as he furiously cut at syrup-soaked pancake again, unable to suppress his own laughter.

Cherise allowed for exactly a minute of silence before announcing what she believed to be Archie's next verdict. "Birdy crap. My final offer."

"Cherise! Good grief!"

"That's not your line! You're a psychiatrist! That makes you Lucy!" She was more than delighted by her observation and let out a single "hah" while pointing at Archie with her empty fork.

Archie stared from across the table, still attempting to quell his laughter as his body shook. The red in his cheeks was now taking on a purple tint from the laughter, bashfulness, and embarrassment. He shook his head. Tears had begun to roll down from the corners of his eyes. "That was awful."

As if to assure them both their terrible joke session wasn't appreciated, Pongo had lifted himself from under the table at that very moment. He paused for a moment to sit back down to reach up his leg to scratch at his ear, shake his head a moment, then meander away from the two at the table. This wasn't something he cared for unless he was going to be fed. Still, it amused Cherise enough to cause her to grin.

"I offended the dog. It's an honor!" Pumping her fists into the air with her fork firmly grasped still in one, she finally went back to eating. Allowing himself a moment to calm down from his fit of laughter, Archie returned to his stack of pancakes.

Breakfast wasn't remarkable. Archie led most of the conversation. He worked. He went to Granny's. He mostly talked about who he saw on his lunch breaks and when he walked Pongo. In return, Cherise talked about grading papers and notes the substitute teacher sent her about her students.

"I miss them," Cherise admitted at long last. "Once I get the clear to go back to teaching, I'd like to... even for a short bit of time. It's what I love doing. A calling, maybe."

It worried Archie. Hovering was the last thing he wanted to do. His true fear was Cherise being told she wasn't allowed to go back to work. What would it be like to see a beautiful songbird, once talented, be regulated to a cage until it couldn't thrive behind the bars due to a lack of purpose. He didn't want to bring it up. Not yet. Perhaps he could ask Dr. Whale for her...

Go behind her back? Damn you. Curse you. Selfish! It's not your job. You're not her husband. You're not even her boyfriend! You're nothing to her. Just a roommate!

Archie swallowed the pancake on his fork and smiled gently at Cherise. "It would be great to see you back at work and happy. You miss it... And you deserve to be happy."

She deserved the world.

Archie beamed at Cherise with kindness and an aching admiration. He knew couldn't advocate for all she deserved, but he could do his best.

"You know, I also used to sing at this pub in the Old Town section of Storybrooke." Cherise smiled down at her half finished plate. "It's not really special or organized. They have a band and on some nights, they'll let you go up and sing anything. It's interesting... That's Goodfellow's Pub. Have you been here?"

Where had he heard of the place before? Didn't they have the exceptional food? Marco had spoken about the place once. He had stumbled upon it after doing a repair job and enjoyed their lasagna more than Granny's. It was unwise to tell Granny just who had the superior lasagna, but Goodfellow's seemed formidable.

"A friend of mine has mentioned it. For the food."

Cherise grinned and raised her eyebrows, having a wild look in her eyes. "Strangest thing. An Irish pub serving Italian food. Nobody questions it since you can special order almost anything. Seems like it's always a friend who shows you the place too. Some weird secret in Storybrooke." With a brief pause to draw in a soft breath, she smirked at Archie. "What do you think about us going there next week? I know you'd have to bail on work early, but it might be fun? Maybe they'll have room in their line up and... See if I still have that voice. Can bring the old guitar."

She'd be singing. He'd have to rush through his paperwork at the end of the night in order to take them both out for dinner only to be forced to share her voice with the world. Still, this was what Cherise wanted and she'd be happy. She'd enjoy herself. If she longed to perform, then Archie would love to see what she deemed to be one final try.

Besides, how often did he have a night out that didn't involve drinking whiskey when he was feeling sad? Not as often as he wished.

"Sounds lovely. If you could just tell me the time you want to be there by, I'll finish up my work early." Archie could visualize his notebooks now. He'd have to be extra clean during his sessions as he detailed as much as he could. His brain jumped through holes into the unknown while telling Archie that billing could even be put off until the next day. This was important. That wonderful, precious look in Cherise's eyes as she looked on in pure captivation said it all. She was so happy with him. Something deep within Archie's soul quieted, telling him for now he could be selfish. For this one time, he could allow himself to have these thoughts with little consequence and torture. He would admire her admiring him.

"Just for me?" The joy in her voice renewed him. He knew Cherise was playful but there was still a true level of disbelief. Cherise didn't believe she could deserve having the world metaphorically stop for her. Someone rearranging their work schedule to spend time with her was even more preposterous.

"Y-yes. I will. For you. Is that-" Archie stuttered and managed to keep himself from blushing.

"That's a beautiful thing to do for me and I won't forget you did it." Her voice deepened in gratitude. Now it was Cherise's turn to blush, though her own brand of blushing was more of a healthy pink glow. Archie trying to finish his work early equated to rearranging the stars in her mind. She showed it in her eyes and face as she admired at his assurance they'd spend that night together. Was it the chance to get out or was it the prospect of having a night with him?

Projecting. He was projecting! Projecting! It couldn't be him! Those eyes weren't for him! He wasn't allowed something so beautiful or pure...

"Archie...?"

The food had gone sour in his mouth. He hadn't swallowed down the bite he had taken. It was just a disgusting ball of syrup and pancake that was becoming more sour the more loathing he felt towards himself for daring to feel any emotion towards the woman across the table. The more she seemed to be thriving, the more he wanted to beat himself down with a shovel. His thoughts kept lingering on his desires to give her the best, but what if she didn't want that? What if she didn't need the best he could give? Talking to her would reveal him as a disgusting pig who had his own ulterior motives. He was just going around in circles with his thoughts.

"Archie, you're staring at me. Hello? Listen we're worried about me having a stroke. Are you smelling baked potatoes? Or is it burnt popcorn?" Cherise paused and jammed her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Dammit, I can't remember what I'm supposed to look out for... Earth to Archie! Could you let me know the mother ship hasn't landed and taken over your brain?"

"Yeah I'm fine!" Archie wasn't even sure of what he was answering at that point. He had to show some sign of life so Cherise wouldn't keep worrying. She had noticed before that something was off. If he could just convince her it was nothing... He swallowed the cold and unpleasant lump of food that sat in his mouth while his mind had wandered off and tortured him about his roommate and her currently unknown opinions of him. "Daydreaming. I've never had such a structured weekend before. It's so relaxing, my mind just wanders and... Yeah."

Shit! Shiitake mushrooms! Peas and carrots! Sweet baby Moses in a fancy hand basket! Some sort of indication of frustration, she's looking right at me now!

It wasn't an entire lie. He did feel very comfortable at the table. Unfortunately, he was so comfortable his inner demons were roasting him over pancakes and blossoming feelings that may never be returned Even if they were, they'd simply wither and die. Any potential relationship was a delicate flower that would wither all too soon. This was cursed.

This answer seemed to delight Cherise further than their planned dinner.

"Oh, that makes me really happy. Sometimes I think I'm just a really big boil on your ass, you know? Like with me waking up early and playing weird records and just..." She began to stammer as she forked at her food. It was suddenly unappetizing. Fulfillment came in realizing Archie enjoyed her presence, or so he was making it seem. She sat there absentmindedly stabbing at a stray pancake that hadn't been completely consumed just yet. "I worry that I'm cramping your bachelor lifestyle. It's probably really weird to have me living here. I'm not just a girl, I was kind of your patient... On the billing, I sort of still am."

"No! No." Archie answered defensively. "No! Cherise, you've been wonderful. I love waking up in the morning..."

"On...weekends?"

"Y-yeah. The weekends." He clarified when she prompted him, trying to match her gentle, happy smile. But this was his lie. Every morning was tolerable knowing she'd be there with her sleepy, bleary eyes and a smile as she served him coffee while she urged him to eat something, even if he insisted that's what Granny's was for. It was nice to have someone to worry about him. It was so pleasant, even if he rolled his eyes with a chuckle on those Mondays when he'd rather retreat to his bed and declare it Sunday. He didn't want to work anymore. He just wanted to be home.

"That's great. I guess I've just been thinking a lot about our previous conversations in your office. I need people, you were always right. I don't like admitting it." A hollow victory, Archie realized. While he longed for Cherise to open up to others, he didn't want this realization to be when she had metaphorically "lost" and was requiring care. Yet Cherise seemed rather proud of herself, though she didn't wear a complete smile on her face.

"Nobody likes to admit they need help, Cherise," Archie reminded warmly. "I don't think a single person likes it. But we all need help admitting it sometimes."

"I especially hate admitting it. But I need help. I also need someone to talk to outside your office, like you've been pestering me... Let's add people over the age of ten to that list, too. I need an adult to talk to." She shrugged, then raised an eyebrow suggestively. "We can talk about Sesame Street, fairy tales-"

Archie snorted as he reached to take a sip of his morning coffee. "You mean Henry."

"I love the boy, but I worry about him." Cherise suddenly sighed. No more happy plans about their night out. This was serious. Henry was always a serious topic to discuss.

"Don't we all?"

"You know he thinks we should date?" Cherise raised an eyebrow as she shoved a slice of apple into her mouth.

Archie nearly choked on the coffee. "He needs to...not do that. I'll have to talk with him if you think he's crossing a line."

"No! Oh no, he's ten! It's kind of sweet. I saw him while picking up my medication at Clark's and he told me everything that was great about you. Your wingman likes hanging out at the Darkstar reading comics."

Archie mentally reminded himself to tell Henry he didn't need the help but thank you, all the same. He took another sip of his coffee and listened with great interest. Just what had Henry been trying to tell Cherise? He didn't want to pry and knew Cherise hated when he began to dig. This time, she seemed rather free flowing with information. Were they getting better at reading each other? They hadn't spent that much time together yet... Archie took another sip and watched Cherise continue speaking with her eyes locked on him. There was no smile this time, but she seemed amused.

"He told me about how you have excellent taste in movies and you should pick out one for me. He said you got him into Star Wars. Which...then his mother had to watch with him afterwards to judge for herself if it was good for a boy his age." Cherise began to cringe and burst into a sputtering chuckle. "I knew she was one of those moms. What I do remember from parent-teacher conferences, she seemed like one of those moms. I wonder if she thinks Mary Poppins encourages children to talk to strangers and touch strange birds." She started to snicker. "...So Star Wars, really? You're that kind of fella?"

She eyed Archie up and down. It was still their lazy morning and other than Archie's glasses, Cherise was unable to notice anything that would peg Archie as Star Wars fan. It was relatively new and she hadn't seen it.

Archie cringed, then nodded. "Guilty as charged. I thought it would help him realize his strong feelings of right and wrong come from a good place." He was hoping that cleared something up. What was she thinking exactly? Was the woman thinking he belonged at a Trek convention? Wrong series, and not even the same universe, though he did prefer it over Star Wars. Archie just knew Henry appreciated good storytelling, much like he did. He kept a quiet stare, unblinking and waited for Cherise to make the next move.

"Oh so you're not gonna make me dress up in a donut bun wig." Cherise nodded to herself. "Good to know."

So much was on the tip of Archie's tongue, but finding himself caught in one of Cherise's traps of bitter humor, he simply allowed her as he sipped more of his coffee. "Not unless you want to. Besides, maybe we'd make a better Chewie and Han."

"I've seen enough of my kids sneaking in action figures to know I need to call dibs on Han." Cherise smirked.

There were giggles, and then silence. It was a mere five minutes before Cherise had started again, returning to the subject of Henry. "He also told me that you watched Harold and Maude with him and swore him to secrecy, but he could trust me. Our uh... little buddy."

That movie. Archie paled.

"Harold and Maude... A very interesting movie choice." Cherise continued. "How did you uh..." She poked at the bits of soggy breakfast limp on her plate. "So does Regina know?"

"Oh. No. Mother in heaven, no she doesn't." He coughed, thinking of just how Regina might threaten him if she found out he let Henry watch a movie about a Holocaust survivor. Worse, a Holocaust survivor teaching a suicidal young man what it's like to live. With sex! And violence! And defying authority! Archie sat there, shaking his head and tried to justify his choice. "He felt like his mother didn't care about him and anything he did in his life had no point to it. Given the movie's topics, it might not be the best, but the boy is mature for his age and I answered any questions he had about Maude and the more sensitive scenes."

Cherise grinned like a spoiled and satisfied cat looking down at expensive fish plated especially for her. Saying she was just looking smug wasn't accurate enough. There was smugness with superiority and then there was that special feline superiority that Cherise managed to mimic. "Mayor Mills would have your face ripped off if she knew, but I'm just impressed."

"Impressed?" He echoed while setting down his fork.

"He talks about you like you're his cool divorced dad who always makes time for him."

Archie rolled his eyes and reached up to rub his temples very slowly. "Yes. He does. Either Henry is a little invested in everyone in town or he's worried about my happiness. Either of those worry me."

"I'm not worried. I see the way he lights up when he talks to you. There's something special when he talks to you. I don't know what it is, but usually we call it trust."

Trust... So much trust. Henry trusted in him so much. Now he had Cherise trusting in him not to betray her feelings. Perhaps this was why he had a self-imposed exile for himself. Cherise had chosen her own banishment out of the fear of hurting someone. Archie had selected his because he hated the feeling when he failed people. He was nothing that they thought he could be for them. If it was true that Henry had all of these wonderful thoughts of him, he'd never achieve them. What could he really be to Henry other a disappointment? Maybe he could be like a pathetic drunk uncle, always letting people down somehow and never living up to their expectations. Always lying. Always breaking promises somehow.

"Archie...?"

Cherise's voice tore him from the gloom. He stared back at her. Her eyes were wide and filled with concern. Her voice had hitched. There wasn't a threat of tears, but the tone had changed.

"Are you okay? I didn't bother you with that, did I?"

How often did she worry if she was going to offend him? Probably often. Even though she had changed somewhat in their time together, Cherise was still somewhat the same. She was abrupt, obnoxious, and asked far too many questions. She never meant to hurt anyone's feelings but she did unintentionally. She was a whirlwind. A trip and a half. Friendship meant trying to make sense of why she was so angry or prone to emotional outbursts. Now he was watching her admit she was worried she had offended him.

Cherise was the storm that left a scent of flowers behind her, encouraging those to follow if they were so inclined to endure more. He never minded the storm because it brought those flowers, so to say. She hadn't been wearing that cheap yet delightful perfume since she came to live with him from the hospital, but he still followed the storm where it went and was happy for it being in his life. She was a little rain cloud and he'd be the rainbow that scurried behind.

It felt dumb to think about it. His mind jumped from his doubts, to self-loathing, to this saccharine idea of romance that he wasn't allowed to have. Was that a kettle boiling or was the whistling coming from between his ears? Something was boiling and it was his thoughts.

"No! No. I just... I uh... I have some billing to do in my study! I just remembered!" Archie couldn't take the pressure anymore. The ringing in his ears was growing louder and it felt like he couldn't breathe. He stood up from the table abruptly. In his haste, he slammed his knee into the table. He squinted his eyes shut due to the pain and limped off as quickly as possible.

I left her with the dishes. All of the dishes! Archie pressed his back against a glass paned door that peered into his meager home office. He had replicated it after the office at work, only the door opened into a brightly lit hallway. A glass door let the sunshine in and the windows allowed the light to trickle in further. It was the same color scheme and nearly the same layout, only his desk at home seemed newer and focused on billing. There was also a pile for his own bills, which were sorted for him to go through. He looked over his shoulder and realized just how big of a scene he had made. It wasn't like him. Cherise would notice. She'd ask. She'd worry.

He couldn't leave now. Meagerly he turned to twist the blinds shut on the door and hobbled to his desk in shame. He lowered himself onto the chair and leaned over his papers. Rather than get lost in patient billing, perhaps he'd start with his own...

He flipped through the envelopes. Archie's eyes glanced over each sender's return address. The usual. Updates for Pongo's dog license, rent on his office space, and utilities... These would be a worth while distraction. He reached for a letter opener and began to tear away at the letter he knew was sent from Mr. Gold.

'Dear Dr. Hopper, this is the agreement we had for Miss Maia's outstanding rental balance. I hope this is non-discreet as possible. Please make the first payment as indicated.'

Archie felt his heart twist and his eyes widen.

"Hey...? You okay in there? Do you want some water?" Cherise's voice rang from behind the closed door.

Archie hastily stashed the bill back in the pile.

"I'm good for now! Thanks!" His voice peaked in a chirp-like squawk.

He could see her remaining by the door a little longer, unconvinced by the noise he just made. She never responded. She only walked away. Archie hoped he'd never have to see that slow, halting movement of concern and distrust ever again.

Archie returned his hands to the bills and pulled out the offending bill, letting his eyes scan the numbers once more. How could someone owe almost two thousand dollars in back rent and utilities in eight months? He looked at how the numbers broke apart again. What had he agreed to? Just how had he promised to pay it all back? It felt so unfair to prey upon a woman in Cherise's position, but there much have been some reason to charge so much for what was essentially a bathroom and kitchen made to have some extra space for a bed.

Rather than argue or protest, Archie began to write.

All for Cherise. He just hoped she'd never find out about what he was doing while she was still alive. Otherwise, she'd never forgive him. Yet another thought was added to the static of doubts in Archie's mind.