The Stupid Boy Crush

Pairing: StanxKyle

Summary: Stan reads a story that Wikileaks had yet to post...

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit piece of fan-fiction about South Park, I don't own it. If I did... Well you would know it!

Chapter One:

It was over. No-one ever had to be humiliated by Eavesdropper again. He only wished that he had seen how poisonous it was before the dumb gerbil had humiliated him. But then again it had given him a lot more respect for Kyle. None of the stories run had been directed at him but he still saw that it was a horrific thing to do to people. Stan didn't realise that until after the website had made Wendy hate him.

He ran through the website one last time before shutting it down. He had volunteered to delete the rest of it after Mr. Mackey had deleted the secret story, something he seemed far too eager to do. Although Stan didn't think too much into it. He had agreed to wrap it up mostly to make sure there was nothing else on him. Only after he was completely sure that no-one else was in the computer lab, or likely to enter, he ran his name through the search bar.

Stan Marsh

Just as he had feared, two stories. The second one, the stupidest story ever to be reported, the story that was an insult to journalism. Honestly why was that even worth reporting? He couldn't even remember the name of the girl he was checking out! Well not checking out exactly... Noticing... For Kenny...

Stan quickly shook his head and turned his attention to the first story on the page.

His jaw dropped. His eyes widened to twice their usual size. Every drop of blood in his head seems to run away from his face as if it had spontaneously caught herpes or something.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI'S SECRET BOY CRUSH

Why had this come up when he searched his name?

"No," Stan said out loud. "No reason to jump to conclusions about this. I mean the article just probably mentions me because I'm his best friend. Besides, this is all bullshit anyway right? None of its true. Well some of it was true..." Stan laughed to himself nervously before going to delete the file. Despite having no belief in psychic powers, he saw an exact prediction of the future in his mind's eye.

He saw himself lying awake at night wondering about the story, then avoiding Kyle because he was paranoid he might have a crush on him. This would go on for days, maybe even weeks, before Stan confronted Kyle, only to find out that it was bullshit and making everything incredibly awkward between them.

No matter how stupid the story was, it would probably be better to check it out now and save him the heart break.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI'S SECRET BOY CRUSH

IT WAS REVELED DURING A PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN KYLE BROFLOVSKI AND KENNY MCKORMIC THAT THE GINGER JEW IS ALSO A LITTLE FAGGOT. THE FORTH GRADER CONFESSED THAT HE HAS A MASIVE CRUSH ON HIS BEST FRIEND STAN MARSH, BOYFRIEND OF WENDY TESTABURGER.

"I'll meet you next to the arcade after school. Although Stan won't be able to make it until around five, he has his maths tutor."

"So Stan's coming with us?"

"Well why wouldn't he?"

"I thought you were going to try and spend less time with him, you know after what you said about-"

"I know what I said Kenny!"

"Alright Dude, chill the fuck out!"

"Sorry Dude."

"Ah that's ok. So... How is the whole Stan thing going?"

"Well there isn't really any point in me trying to see him less; I mean we see him every day at school. I'd just end up feeling mean if I excluded him from hanging out with us. I'd rather have these weird feelings for him then feel bad about rejecting him."

"Are you worried about him rejecting you?"

"Well... I don't know. I don't think I'll ever tell him. I mean it's just a crush it'll go away on its own eventually. There's no point in making a big deal out of it."

"If you say so. See you at school then Dude."

"Yeah... Bye then."

"Bye."

He couldn't believe it... He just couldn't! Kyle, his best friend since forever, had a crush on him? It was just so... Unbelievable.

Without saying a word, or even thinking any, Stan clicked deleted. He deleted the story, along with the rest of them, turned off the computer and went back to class.