This is a self insert story that I am writing for my enjoyment, and yours. When writing it, I try to picture myself living the life of the main character, and to enjoy the experiences that he enjoys, in my mind. I will admit that there is very little editing, it is more of a record of my mental adventures than a story. Please enjoy this story, and if you don't like a part of it, go ahead and tell me. There is swearing, violence, drinking, and other adult themes here.

Reviews are very appreciated!

I rose slowly out of my slumber. I tiredly pried my eyelids open, and my vision was flooded with sunlight. I could feel grass against my back, and I realized that I was outside. I tried to push myself up with my arms, but they slipped out from under me, and I collapsed. I rolled over onto my stomach, and looked at the matted grass under me. 'Weird,' I thought. The grass here is much greener than it is back at Washington.

It was then that I noticed my hands. Or, more specifically, hooves. It seems that my entire hands had disappeared, and were replaced by stumpy hooves. I also noticed that my skin was now a colorful grey hide, and I had an orange mane and tail. 'Ohh shit' I thought, and leaped to my feet. On instinct, I tried to jump to my back two legs, but I toppled over backwards. Panicking, I sat down on my bottom and clutched my knees, and rocked backwards a little.

'This is not happening… This is not happening…'

I clenched my jaw, and shut my eyes, and when I opened them, everything was still the same.

I thought back onto what I can remember from yesterday. I can recall getting drunk again, and then stumbling out of a bar that I frequent and into the street. The rest of my memory was blank, I must have wandered off in my drunken stupor. But that still doesn't explain how I am now a horse! 'Maybe I'm still drunk.' I tried to stand up, and this time managed to rise to two legs.

Looking around me, I saw tall grass in all directions, with the occasional tree protruding from the grass. I decided to try and get to the nearest one and climb up to get a better view of my surroundings. As I began to stumble forward, I tripped over something.

It was a chessboard. MY chessboard. That's odd, I had left it at my apartment before I went off drinking. I had no idea as to how it must have gotten here, as I had by now decided that some crazy shit must have happened to me after I got drunk, because I could not come up with any explanation as to how I was a horse. Scattered near the chessboard were my chess pieces. I grabbed them all and put them into a drawer that was in the chessboard. I held the chessboard with one hoof and began walking towards the nearest tree, pushing grass out of the way with my other hoof. To be honest, I felt silly being a horse and walking on two legs, but I was too used being human to try and get used to walking on four legs.

This chess board was very important to me. It was my only tie to my old life, before I moved out, and travelled to Washington. I used to play chess with my friends, who were smart and kind. I played with my parents, my grandparents, and my cousins. When I turned 18, I said goodbye to my family, and moved to Washington from Canada. Then, everything went downhill when I realized I couldn't manage without my family or friends. I managed to make some new friends after attending a chess tournament at the library that was near my apartment. They provided me some support, and I did a little better, getting a job at said library. You see, I am very reliant on support from others. When I am put into a new place, without friends or family, I begin to break down. Chess helps meet new friends, so I hope my chessboard could help me out now. Unfortunately, the place I am at right now looks desolate.

I could feel my chest tightening. I started to run towards the tree, anything to get out of this desolate place. I reached it, and began to scramble up, branch by branch, by wrapping my grey arms around them and hoisting myself up. After I got a good height off the ground, I held on to branch and surveyed the horizon. This time, I could see what looked like a farm in the distance.

I was overjoyed. Living beings! Hopefully someone who could help me out, and help me find my way back. I began to run towards the farm, holding my arm in front of me to keep the tall grass from whipping me in the face.

I suppose that while I am running I should explain as to what happened after I met some friends and got a job. I held the job for a while, maybe half a year or so. Then, I got laid off. Damn the recession! I struggled to make money, and could barely pay the rent, let alone get food. I still managed to make the most of it, going to the library three times a week to meet strangers and play chess with them, after which I would ask them for money. It was degrading, but I got more money than I would get through begging. I exercised often, and stayed fit. My friends invited me over often, for which I was grateful. I suppose that I fared better than many others. About three weeks ago, I developed a drinking problem, which many of my friends tried to help me with, but gave up after I stubbornly held on. I began to go to the library to play chess less often, and frequented the bar. I sold many things to afford liquor, but never my chessboard. That chessboard had helped me through the years, and I hoped that it would somehow help me now.

After a while of running, I arrived at the farm, panting and sweating.

"Help! Is anyone there?" I shouted, hoping that someone could help me. I shouted again, and my throat began to feel sore. Just as my chest began to tighten in panic, I heard a southern accented voice respond.

"Hello? Is someone calling?"

My heart skipped a beat, and I walked over to a fence that separated me from a large apple tree grove. From the grove walked a female orange pony with a pale blond mane. On her head rested a worn brown cowboy hat. I was taken back, as I expected a human. I was not as surprised to see that she could talk, as I had also just spoken a moment before.

"Hello, mah name is Applejack, an' welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. How can ah help you?"

Her green eyes stared at me curiously. She blinked once, and tilted her head.

"Hi, I, um, woke up over there, and was wondering if you knew where I could find a nearby town, or city, or something."

"Ah'd be glad to help you, mister. Ponyville's an hour away from here if you go down that path there."

The Applejack pony then noticed something that confused her.

"If you don't mind mah asking, mister, but why don't you have a cutie mark?"

I responded, confused. "A what now?"

"How can you not kn-you know, one of these-" She gestured to an image to three red apples on her flank. I turned my head around, and looked at my own flank in turn. There was nothing on my side, just purple skin.

"I dunno, how would I get one?"

Applejack tilted her head quizzically, and asked me, "Just where are you from mister? Are there other ponies like you?"

I wondered why a lack of a "cutie mark" was such a big deal.

"I-I just woke up in that field over there," I gestured with my hoof, "I have no idea how I got there."

"Huh. You should go see mah friend Twilight in Ponyville, if that's where you're heading."

I thanked here, and told her that I would make sure to, and began to leave, when Applejack called out to me again.

"Wait, mister, ah wanted to ask you something!" I turned around, still standing on my hind legs.

"Why are you walking like that?" She asked, confounded. I looked down at my legs, and understood as to why she would find that weird.

"I, um, got used to walking like this," I responded, and was about to start walking again, when she asked me something else.

"Hey mister, I didn't catch your name!"

I turned around again.

"My name is Chance Ransom."