Well, this is new. I hope I caught the unhinged quality of poor Cutler. He's a bit of a mess.

This is an AU, because the only thing I've kept at all similar is their interaction – external events aren't the same at all – and the focus is between Cutler and Hal. Think of it as a private moment; a result of kidnapping, or a willing interaction, either way; I'm too lazy to give it any further backbone.

thou art the sweetest poison
I'm yours, you know,
and I'll love you still in Hell
gay pirates | cosmo jarvis

Cutler hates the way he reacts to Hal's presence.

It feels far too much like coming home.

.

The man is a monster, for all he masquerades as a man; after all it was he who bestowed this cursed gift on the unsuspecting human Nick, he who destroyed Nick's life, he, Hal Yorke, who murdered Nick's wife.

But that is decades past.

Decades enough, it seems, to turn the tables upside down.

.

"It isn't fair."

Cutler has fought this world for years – fangs and bloodlust were not so easy for him to accept. He struggled to kill, yet struggled to refrain, and torn himself to pieces as his mind tried so very hard to come to terms with its new design.

Now, however, he no longer struggles.

He has no qualms when it comes to killing men – or women – heck, he's killed kids a few times simply because they were there. Wrong place, wrong time; survival of the fittest: that's the way of the world, isn't it? It's a painful truth, especially when fangs as sharp as knife-points are sinking into one's jugular vein.

But that is very much beside the point.

"It isn't fair," he reiterates agitatedly, gaze flitting from the walls to Hal, his henchmen, and back again. "You can't say that to me. Not now. Not after what you've done to me."

Hal looks up at him with wide eyes. They do not beg, or ask for forgiveness. In fact, the only emotion Cutler can read in them is the most sincere of apologies and it hurts. Because Hal does not apologise – Hal is cruelty; Hal laughs and walks hand in hand with destruction, ruin and pain. He does not entertain emotions like regret.

Except apparently, this Hal does. Fifty-five years has changed him and it isn't fair.

.

Hal kneels the minute the other vampires are exiled from the room. Cutler simply watches. The younger vampire's face is emotionless, but his fidgety edginess belies the internal strife rioting within him.

"I hate you," he says eventually, and it almost isn't even a lie.

I understand, Hal tries to reply, but Cutler lashes out before the words can fall into existence. The dark haired vampire hisses sharply through his teeth as his face whips to the left; his right cheek stings from the force of the backhand. He looks back at Cutler.

"Hate me," he agrees quietly. "Hate me as I have learned to hate myself for all I have done."

Silence descends on them like a cold winter mist, creeping and coating the room's two occupants. Cutler will not break it; he won't. Hal is here to answer to him. His body is almost vibrating with tenseness and his hands shake worse than those brief periods he has denied himself sustenance. He is close to breaking, but he lasts until the silence passes once more.

"I am so incredibly sorry, Nick Cutler," Hal breathes into the stillness of the room, and Cutler comes apart.

Two exhausted tears carve paths down his cheeks as he collapses onto the cold concrete floor. He presses the balls of his palms to his tear-blurred blue eyes as his frame shudders with the effort of holding the rest back.

Hal hangs his head.

Guilt is a horrible, pervasive feeling; he will never get used to the way it curls inside him.

.

Hours pass, but all that is shared between them is grief and the occasional, brief, flair of anger.

.

Hal never expected to leave the building alive, certainly not without a fight anyway, so when he is eventually released he hesitates, but any words he might have thought to speak are stopped in their tracks when Cutler comments briefly, "If you say one fucking word I will kill you where you stand, Lord Harry or not."

He hasn't moved, refuses to look at his maker, but Hal wisely decides not to test the truth of his words.

There is Tom, after all, waiting (worrying, no doubt) at the house, and Annie and baby Eve, as well.

He leaves in silence.

Cutler watches through red-rimmed eyes as his maker leaves – again – and knows, deep down, that he will never win this game between them.

He will never win, and he is the only one playing.

End.

Wow, plotless angstfest anyone? Shh, just go with it.

Read and Review responsibly, please and thank you because I don't know how to feel about this. It sort of just happened unexpectedly.