Hey guys! I'm back (finally!) I'm so sorry that it took me two months to write this chapter, I don't even know where the time got to, and I hope you're all still with me. If you are, GREAT, I'm so glad you are willing to stick with me. I hope that I'll have Chapter 10 started later today.

A special thanks to my beta, E. Edwin, for helping me with finishing this chapter, and then editing it and giving me suggestions. You're the best!

Also! If you want the full emotional effect of this chapter, while you're reading it listen to Bloodstream- by Stateless. It gave me more than enough inspiration to get my rear in gear to finish this for you all.

-Present Day: Cape Town Hospital, Cape Town South Africa-

Natasha thought intensely about Loki's words after he departed. She had been an idiot, letting him keep that picture. It could fall into the wrong hands and this cover would be blown forever. She couldn't risk that. The reveal of her true identity would put her in grave danger. She wasn't so much worried about herself though. The largest part of her concern lied with Alexander. Should she be compromised, he too would be at risk, and he wasn't even ten hours old yet.

Samantha came back in for a few moments, but she didn't ask about Loki's visit, or why he left with a broken nose. She just came in to let Natasha know that she was taking Rodney home, and that she would be sure to visit when Natasha brought home Alexander. After that, her obstetrician came in to see how she was doing. As he checked all of her vitals, Natasha examined him. His polite disposition and caring blue eyes made up for the fact that his thin blonde toupee was lopsided on his head. She had only been to see him two or three times since her arrival in Cape Town 5 months prior, so she wasn't sure how much she liked him yet. He asked her how she was feeling, if anything was still sore, and if she had fed the baby recently. After answering all of his questions he told her with a smile that she would be allowed to go home the next afternoon. He also insisted that she get some rest, and then he left to tend to other patients.

Natasha closed her eyes and tried to sleep, at this point she was desperate for repose, but her body wouldn't allow her comfort. She sniffed the air and caught a whiff of Loki's lasting odor in the room. It was probably his cologne, but she could remember that he smelled similar when he had passed her, when he was caked in dirt and sweat and blood. He smelled of Spearmint with a mix of jasmine. Even though she hated the person who left the lingering scent, there was something about it that she liked. Loki had been gone for twenty minutes now, and the smell hadn't gone away yet. It was keeping her from falling asleep.

No matter how many times she tried closing her eyes and dozing off to the sound of her heart monitor, Natasha knew that she wasn't going to get any sleep. She rolled over on her side and looked at the digital clock. She had been trying for just shy of an hour. Her gaze fell to the small stack of magazines next to the clock that she recalled Samantha leaving for her earlier. There was nothing really interesting though, mostly dated tabloids that she assumed came from the market (there was a "Paid" sticker on them). She looked up at the clock, seeing that it was about noon now. Had more time passed than she previously thought? Natasha didn't know.

Another couple hours passed, and a nurse entered the room with Alexander. Natasha looked up from the magazine she had (hesitantly) picked up out of boredom.

"He's just kind of hungry, nothing to worry about," the nurse told her, handing the squirming and wailing child to his mother. Natasha took him, leaving the tabloid on her lap as she pulled down the shoulder of her hospital gown so that she could feed the baby. She had already done this once before when he was just born, and even though it was a little sore, she managed. Alexander took a moment to latch on but as soon as he did, he was suckling greedily. Natasha looked down at the baby whose eyes were still closed. He really was endearing in spite of his father. She moved her non-supporting hand to his soft, sparse tresses and caressed them gently. She couldn't help but wonder if the softness came from Loki. Even though she had been a curly haired child, it had always been greasy and untamable. The child in her arms finished his meal with a satisfied noise and then he began to whimper again. Natasha had seen this before and she lifted him gently over her shoulder and rubbed the baby's back gently. She looked up at the nurse as she did, giving a tired smiled to her. The blonde woman smiled back at her as she heard a little hiccup from the newborn on her shoulder. Natasha let out a sigh and looked down at the satisfied child in her arms.

"He's very cute," the nurse complimented while widening her grin. The former spy nodded without saying anything. She kissed the baby's forehead and he yawned, his toothless mouth opening as wide as it could.

"Thank you…" Natasha said almost inaudibly. She almost hated to admit how much she loved her son. She knew that emotions like that would eventually get her into some kind of danger. But it was true…she loved her son more than anything. The nurse stepped closer to the bed.

"Would you like me to take him Ms. Amelin?" she asked gently. Natasha looked up at the sound of her fake name. She sighed out, looking at the now sleeping child. She reached out her arms and handed the baby off to the nurse.

"I think I'm going to try getting some sleep," she lied watching the nurse adjust her grip on Alexander. The woman didn't detect her lie however and nodded, leaving the room to return the baby to the nursery. As Natasha was left with nothing but the dimming overhead light, she was once again faced with Loki's voice intruding in her mind.

Without me...you wouldn't have gotten that clean slate you so desired.

And deep down…she knew that he was right.

-Two Weeks Later: A Starbucks down the street from Stark Tower-

Loki sighed and stared down at the plastic lid that covered that remainder of his "tall" coffee. He swirled the drink around in his cup and held his head in his free hand. The picture of his newborn son sat in front of him on the small table. He hadn't been able to stop staring at it for almost an hour now and he didn't know why it was so mesmerizing. He rested his chin on top of the hand that wasn't holding his coffee and flipped the picture over, ignoring the growing emptiness that he felt from not being able to look at the image. Tony Stark entered the building, with his hands in his pockets looking around for him most likely. Loki took the cardstock image off of the tabletop and placed it gently in the pocket of his sweatshirt, careful not to bend it. The billionaire noticed him a couple moments later, striding over to Loki's table by the window. He averted his gaze away from the former demi-god and to the crowd that were all drinking coffee and working on their laptops, reading the paper, or just people watching.

"You could have just come to the tower you know. It's a little crowded here to have a private conversation," he said, not looking at Loki at all. Loki rolled his eyes, realizing that Tony was probably right. He could have easily done the same thing as he had last time.

"I'm more comfortable here, if you don't mind Mr. Stark," Loki responded, staring out the window and across the street at a mother, father, and a baby in a stroller made their way into the gates to Central Park. He thought of the picture in his pocket and realized that he would never have that. He turned back to Tony, who was staring at him with an eyebrow raised. Loki quickly grew uncomfortable. His stomach ached and his head pounded. An image appeared behind his eyelids, and he felt a tingling sensation on his hand. He shut his eyes tightly, and he felt the sweat build on his palm. Loki…why can't we be this happy all the time? a female voice whispered in his ear. He opened his eyes again to see Tony still watching at him. Loki wiped his sweaty palms on his khaki pants.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked the billionaire harshly. He didn't see Tony take a seat in the empty chair across from him, but he heard the creak of the plastic cover and the metal under his weight. Loki instead paid his attention to the line of men and women waiting in line to get their coffee or other drinks. The voice intruded again and the heat from his hand was not his own. I don't even care what others think. This past month and a half…I never thought I'd be capable of loving someone. Then it disappeared again.

Tony's gaze was locked on Loki and the way his eyes flicked between the people currently occupying the building. It was a phenomenon to say in the least. Tony was confused as to how in about ten months someone like Loki could become so mellow…so dissimilar to what he remembered.

"It's nothing." Tony said slowly. Loki nodded but still didn't look at him. "You owe me a story you know. Actually two stories. I've waited two weeks for this, and I have the tape recor…" He stopped when Loki looked up at him with a different emotion in his eyes. It was a mix between pain and guilt and anger.

"Can…I cash a rain check on that?" he asked calmly, trying to suppress his growing irritation with Tony. The pounding in his head was intensifying quickly. "I assure you Mr. Stark that I am in no condition to continue this conversation." He put one hand against his temple and winced as the voice occupied his mind once again. W-what are you doing here? I hate you! You did this to me! I will never forgive you.

Tony tapped the table with his fingers, contemplating Loki's request. The lie-smith really did look like he was in pain. He had already given Loki quite a bit: paying for his two-week trip, giving him the time he needed. How fair would it be if he granted this request as well? Tony squinted.

"You really aren't feeling well…are you?" Tony asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. Loki looked up at him.

"No…I am not feeling well," Loki responded closing his eyes and wiping off his hands on his pants again. They were getting really clammy and he didn't know why. His eyes drooped slightly and he shook the sleep away. He looked up as Tony stood. "And frankly, I don't plan on blowing you off either if that's what you're wondering. I told you what I would do…and I will do it."

"Fine then. Next week on Sunday be at Stark Tower at 4:00. I'll have Pepper put it on my calendar." He left the Starbucks without another word.

-Later that day, Loki's room at the Holiday Inn-

Stripping down to his boxers and laying on top of the covers of his bed didn't help at all with the sudden heat that was overtaking Loki's body. He had never felt this much pain before, even in the hottest of places. Loki loved the cold; his body craved it. After learning his true heritage, he had started assuming that his love of the cold had something to do with his frost giant blood. Even as a mortal this was entirely true for him. He stood with a grunt and moved to the temperature controller in his room. He opened the top and was surprised to find that his air conditioner was set at the highest possible setting. The room temperature was sitting at 45 degrees Fahrenheit. Why was he so warm? Loki stalked back over to his bed, laying on his back and staring up at the smooth white ceiling. In an attempt to take his mind off of the heat and pain currently overtaking his body, he focused on the ceiling, and how different it was from the one that he stayed in with Roger and Betty back in South Carolina. He blinked, and suddenly he saw a face above him. When he blinked a second and a third time, it vanished. Loki sat up, deciding that maybe a little Midgardian television could help take his mind off of it. He picked up the remote control and pushed the power button, searching through the channels for something bearable.

As Loki flipped absentmindedly through the channels the heat continued to build in his body. He broke out in a sweat, constantly having to wipe it away with a towel. The remote even slipped out of his hand a couple times because of the amount of sweat that had built up on his hands. His sudden condition was downright baffling. The room was as cold as it could be, the windows were open, and he had stripped away the rest of his clothing, yet the sweating only intensified. As the channels on the TV stopped changing on a scene of a traumatizing car crash, the former god of lies fell asleep on his stomach, the remote clunking on the floor unceremoniously.

The engine of the vehicle that he was currently strapped into roared to life, and he saw a mop of curly red hair right in front of him. He tried to move his hands, but they were tied. He looked at his feet, but they were also shackled to the bench. He reached out his hands and put them on the women's shoulder. She turned around and smiled at him, her eyes glowing. It was Natasha. He could see the driver's face in the mirror. Upon further examination, he found that he didn't recognize the man. Natasha rested her hand over his, staring at his lap. Loki was slightly confused. He wondered why she was so happy around him. Loki looked down at her hand on top of his shackled one. She leaned over and whispered into his ear, and Loki found himself blushing feverishly, and he looked away from her embarrassed by her statement.

"I'm sorry they have to do this to you Loki…" Natasha muttered under her breath. "But you know what they'd say if I try to refute the others, especially Clint." Loki found himself nodding in agreement, as if all of the events occurring had already happened. And as far as he knew…it had.

The terrain grew rougher, and the van started bouncing along the road. He heard a sigh escape Natasha's mouth, and she looked up through the front window. "Leave it to SHIELD to put your cell in the middle of the desert…" she muttered turning to Loki again. He didn't even have a chance to open his mouth before the van swerved sharply, and a horn honking startled the driver. Natasha gasped, and Loki threw his restrained arms around her as best he could as the van fell to the side and rolled once, twice, and then landed on the opposite side that it had turned over from. They moved from side to side as it turned, and he could feel his head hit the side of the van several times. It was dead silent for a matter of moments. Loki's head ached and he had trouble keeping his consciousness. Finally, he heard tires screeching, sirens blaring, people shouting, a loud explosion. He was practically blinded by the noonday desert sun before losing consciousness all over again.

-Present Day: Cape Town Hospital, Cape Town South Africa-

Natasha bolted straight up, the pain in her lower abdomen radiating from the recent birth, and her brain pounding in her skull. She had just received the strangest vision, it had been blurry and confusing, but she remembered a van…arms wrapping around her…and then darkness. She reached over to the table beside her bed and picked up her water glass, drinking it quickly to cure her dry throat. She set the plastic cup at her side and leaned back onto the pillows, closing her eyes and trying to rid her mind of the dream she had just experienced. She thought of Alexander, sleeping in the bassinet that the hospital was providing, his tiny hands balled into fists as he breathed, getting used to being alive and in the real world.

Tomorrow, she mouthed the word as her mind provided it. Tomorrow I get my clean slate. She clenched the sheets in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut again. Yes…tomorrow.

A/N: And that concludes Chapter 9! I hope you all enjoyed it, and that this was worth waiting 2 months for. Please don't forget to leave a review! Please? Review, Review, Review!