Disclaimer: Don't own Fairy Tail and never will!

Okay, I know there are a lot of stories already like this, but I really couldn't resist writing this. xD

Wait, What?

It was a fairly normal day in the Fairy Tail guild; well, it started out normal.

But then everything just got weird.

Everyone was acting as they normally did. Erza sat at the bar, munching on her delectable strawberry cake. Damn, this was good! If anyone distracted her from eating her cake, they would suffer a terrible and painful fate.

With brown orbs she scanned the guild hall and all of the idiots inhabiting it. The guild felt…empty. Someone was missing, but whom? Natsu was being his same obnoxious self, screaming at Elfman while Lucy was yelling at him. Mirajane was at the bar, Macao and Wakaba were reminiscing about the old days, Gajeel was sitting angrily at one of the tables with Levy teasing him. Everyone seemed to be present, so who was missing?

She placed another bite of cake in her mouth, her teeth holding onto the metal spoon for a brief moment. Finally, it came to her.

A certain stripping Ice mage and stalking Water mage were missing. Of course! How could Erza forget them?

Normally, Gray and Juvia were always present in the guild, Gray always being naked while Juvia always gawked at him. But they were nowhere to be seen. Erza's hawk-like eyes searched everywhere, but she couldn't find them.

Then, she heard a 'thump'.

Hastily, she threw her spoon on her now empty plate and looked around in a frenzy. She slid off her chair and she made a dash for the source of the sound. Her feet led her to one of the backrooms. Arching an eyebrow, she walked closer to the door, about to knock on it before she heard something.

She pressed her ear to the door as she heard a voice.

"Relax," the voice said. It was muffled through the door, but Erza heard it perfectly. That wasn't just any voice. It was Gray's voice!

Her ears perked up in interest. So that was where he was? Then where was Juvia?

Her question was answered about two seconds later.

"Juvia is nervous," she heard the Water mage say nervously. Erza's other brow rose. Why was she in there with Gray? And why was she nervous?

"I told you to relax," Gray muttered. The redhead then heard some shuffling.

"It's sticky, Gray-sama," said Juvia. Without warning, Erza's cheeks rose in heat. W-what was s-sticky?

"It's supposed to be. Is it wet?" Juvia didn't answer, but Erza assumed the bluenette nodded. "Good. Now use your finger." Erza's fists clenched as her cheeks were painted in a light red color.

W-what was going on?

"Juvia's ready, Gray-sama."

Ready for what?

"Alright," said the Ice mage. The side of Erza's face was completely stuck against the wood. "Open wide."

Open wide? What the hell?

Erza thought she was going crazy. Gray…and Juvia? They weren't even a couple yet! Was she imagining things? Did she hear wrong? No, the redhead was sure she heard perfectly corre-wait, did Juvia just moan?

What. The. Hell?

"Ahh, it's so big, Gray-sama," Juvia whispered. "What if it doesn't fit?" She heard Gray groan.

Erza's blush turned a shade darker than her hair. What the fuck?

"It'll fit," Gray muttered. Erza's teeth clenched as sweat beads starting appearing on her forehead. "Now try putting it in. If you can't, I'll help." Erza gasped.

Oh. My. Freakin'. Gosh.

She heard Juvia scream slightly, "Ahh, Juvia isn't used to this!"

After two seconds came Gray's cool reply, "Calm down. You're not gonna die. It'll be fine."

Erza's eyes were as wide as saucers as she grabbed her head in frustration.

Erza started freaking out. She shook in embarrassment. She hadn't even gotten that far yet! She had been outdone by a stripping Ice mage and a stalking Water mage!

Oh hell fuckin' no.

"Gray-sama!"

"THAT'S IT!" Erza shrieked, kicking the poor door down. When she revealed herself to Gray and Juvia, she was red with anger and embarrassment. Her gaze was blazing in fury, gauntlet-covered fists both clenching, and teeth gritting. Bottom line was that she looked like a monster.

When she barged in, she expected to see Gray and Juvia in a…ya' know…very intimate position.

But what she was greeted with was Gray and Juvia, standing in front of a vanity mirror, staring at her with wide eyes and gaped mouths.

Oh…

"Erza…?" Gray said slowly, quirking his eyebrow at the seething armored mage, who now wasn't seething, but was only blushing furiously. She pointed accusingly at the two.

"G-Gray!" she sputtered, shaking and sweating violently. "J-Juvia!" Juvia frowned.

"Auw, Erza-san made Juvia drop her contact!"

Erza was about to screech back, before she froze.

Contact…?

Contact?

And then it sunk in. She looked down at the vanity in front of the two, and indeed she saw an opened contact box lying there.

"CONTACT?" Erza shrieked, balling her fists at the two. Gray moved backwards slightly, and nodded.

"Yeah, contact." He shrugged. "Juvia bought new contacts, so I was helping her put them in her eyes."

Juvia nodded enthusiastically, a smile forming on her face. "Juvia wanted to see how she looked if she had gray eyes instead of dark blue!" Her eyes sparkled at Gray.

Erza's mouth dropped down to the floor.

CONTACTS!

Her eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Her finger that was stuck up in the air wiggled. "S-so you t-two w-weren't doing…you know…"

Both of their heads shifted to the side in confusion. "Doing what?" they both asked in unison. Erza looked like a wreck, her finger still pointing at them, mouth agape, eyes wide, and body quivering. And she was as red as a tomato.

"NOTHING!" she howled and bolted out of the room at lightning speed. Both Gray and Juvia didn't even see her move. They both looked at each other in confusion.

"What's wrong with Erza-san?"

"I have no clue."

Hehe, I'm such a pervert. xD This was actually based off a true story... *shivers* I just had to write it. :D

Anyways, make me happy and review! :P