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I want to cry. My heart is aching and the dam that holds back my tears is about to break down. It's too hard for me to breathe. I'm clinching my fist and I'm biting my lips. It hurts, but I choose to suffer. 'Why?' That's what I always ask myself. What is my reason for torturing me? Is it love, or am I just mad?

I know love isn't always about rainbows and butterflies. It's not always pretty. But to feel the ugly side of love hurts, and it brings you down, cuts you to pieces.

The Dark Side of Loving Someone

One-Shot

Harry Potter is originally written by J.K. Rowling

There I see him, again, just as many nights before this, sneaking to the forbidden forest. If only I could say I don't know his reason… the reason why he risks everything every single day, the reason why he stares at the sky, daydreaming.

I'd be lying if I say I'm not hurt. How can I be fine with the fact he is never going to be with me - after all this time. Yeah, after all the things we've been through together.

He's drunk, drunk with the poison of love. He's drugged, drugged with happiness. He has got his heroine, his savior, his escape. All the things I wish would be me. But sometimes, a dream can only be a dream. Not everything can come true, even with magic.

He loves someone else, worse, he loves the enemy.

Oh yes, what kind of girl doesn't like the story of Romeo and Juliet? What kind of girl wouldn't want someone fights for her to death? What kind of girl who doesn't wish for a Romeo? But I always dreamed about being the Juliet for my Romeo. In a perfect world, he would be mine and I would be his. Then again, this is real world, where things are cruel and mean, and where things destroy you until you're nothing but dust.

He is my Romeo, but he has his own Juliet. I'm too weak to fight for him and bring him back to the real world. I'm no match for Juliet. I'm Rosaline, the one that left behind.

I keep what I feel inside, telling him I'm fine, telling him I'd support him – just as always, telling him that his dream will come true – to be with his Juliet – even if it kills me to pray for him. But honestly, I'm dying to see him out every night; I'm dying to see him happy with someone else but me.

He has no slightest idea of what kind of torture that I'm going through. He might be just blinded, oblivious with things unrelated to his Juliet, or I'm just a really good actress.

To love someone, to have you heart taken by someone that will not give it back might be hell on earth. It drives you crazy. Fills you with hatred, it changes you. I can feel the furry inside me; I can feel my heart burning. I know I can't take it any longer.

Finally, the dam collapses and tears blurry my eyes. My heartache becomes unbearable and my mind clouded. I grab my wand and run outside, to the forbidden forest.

I can see them. Oh how happy they are, walking hand in hand, talking sweetly to each other with smile on their faces.

"Draco." I call out his name. "And… Granger." I continue with disgust.

"Pansy? What are you doing here?" He asks with such an innocent face.

"…To kill."

"Eh?" He asks, confused.

I point my wand to Granger. I can hear her gasps. I smirk and I think, 'I've become crazy.'

Then, I see him, moving in front of his Juliet, protecting her like Romeo. "Move, Draco." I say to him coldly.

"Why?" He asks again.

"Because you deserve better, Draco. This filthy mudblood can just die. She doesn't deserve you. Why are you risking everything for her? Does she mean that much to you? She is a mudblood for God's sake! Are you really that much in love with her?" I snap. "What is your excuse?"

"I love her, Pansy. And love doesn't care about bloodlines."

His answer doesn't shock me. I know it will come to this. My hand shakes in anger. My grip on my wand tightens.

"Then, maybe you should die with her, Draco." I look at him in the eye. He's not scared. He loves her that much, apparently. Very, very touching.

I let out a giggle. "Very well then. Good bye." I say. "Avada Ke…"

"Expelliarmus!"

In shock, I stare at my empty hand. "Mudblood!" I scream in frustration. I look at her. Her body is shaking. Scared, it seems. I smiled and let go my laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You won't let me kill you and your boyfriend, huh Granger?"

I walk, closing my gap with them. I face Draco and say, "Kill me then."

"No, Pansy, look, stop acting crazy and get your mind together!" He's trying to calm me down.

"You can't kill me, huh?" I sigh. "Then what about you, mudblood? I'm sure you hate me." I turn myself to her and point her wand to my head. "Kill me."

"I… No!" She says.

I'm furious. "Why? Kill me! It's meaningless to live in a cruel world like this! I can't stand this anymore! Your silly love story, you took my love, my life, away from me! I have nothing thanks to you!" I can feel tears running down my cheek. "Kill me! I can't live any longer! Just kill me! Now!" My chest hurts. The feelings I've been hiding deep down are all pouring out. I'm breaking down.

"I can't. No." She answers.

I clinch my teeth and snatch her wand out of her hand, stepping back slowly, getting further from them. "I'll kill myself then." I say with a smile.

"No! Pansy, stop!" Draco tries to stop me.

"I've always loved you, Draco." I say. "Good bye."

Draco reaches for his wand, but it's too late. I look at the starry sky, point Granger's wand at myself and recite the spell that will end my misery, "Avada Kedavra."

And that's my happy ending.

Fin.