Disclaimer: Naruto and One Piece belong to their respective creators. Without them, I would not be allowed to pervert their ideas to my own whim. I might have originated the Kaze-Kaze no Mi (Wind-Wind Fruit), but then again, maybe not.

Kamikaze of the Straw Hats

Don Naruto: Straw Hats' Helmsman

When Naruto woke up he found himself staring at a ceiling while he laid in a very comfortable bed. Blinking several times to ensure he was awake, Naruto then yawned as he sat up and attempted to stretch before he froze. Grabbing his right shoulder and hissing in pain, the blonde thought, OH GOD! What the hell happened to me?

Like a gunshot to the knee, it hit him. He had done it. He killed the 'Black Captain' Kuro. Hell, he practically wiped the Black Cats off the face of the planet! He looked at his hand that rested on his shoulder and frowned. He shouldn't have let Kuro cut him...but what's done is done.

A smile started to spread across the blonde's face and he got out of the comfortable bed. Thankfully, it was only his jacket that had been removed, as he only had two dark red patches under his bandaged torso. Naruto heard a click and spun around into a ready stance before coming face to face with an orange haired girl. She blinked several times before sighing.

"Well, at least now I can tell Luffy that you're up," she murmured to herself. The blonde blinked in confusion while the girl approached him. Reaching for his shoulder, he stopped her with a firm grip around her wrist. This, however, annoyed her, "Hey! I just want to check your wounds!"

"Uh-huh," Naruto replied disbelievingly. He snapped her arm to the side and strode past her, looking around the room before looking back at her, "Where's my jacket?"

The girl scowled as she rubbed her wrist, "No, no, I don't think you broke my wrist, thanks for asking though. Your jacket is downstairs. Why?"

"Just wondering," he replied with a shrug before wincing. Grabbing the still healing wound, Naruto hissed, "Dammit. Still tender..."

"Well duh," the girl replied as she walked over to him to reattempt to change his bandages, "You did take five blades to the shoulder. I'm surprised you're up and about!"

"Tch, this is nothing," Naruto answered before crying out when the girl lightly pushed on the puncture wounds on his stomach, "OW! What the Hell?"

"Nothing huh? Yeah, you're definitely part of Luffy's crew," the girl said with a smirk before holding her hand out, "Name's Nami. You could say I'm Luffy's Navigator."

Naruto took her hand and shook it once, "Don Naruto. Um, who's Luffy again?"

"Hey! Our pilot's up!" Luffy cried out from his spot on the ground outside the mansion the group was recovering at. The raven-haired boy with a scar on his face shot to his feet and ran at the blonde. Leaping at Naruto, Luffy let out a joyful cry...only to land on his face as he passed through what seemed to be a body of raging wind.

"OWWW!" the teenage pirate moaned after he sat up while rubbing his face. Looking at Naruto, he frowned, "Hey, how come I couldn't hug you, huh?"

"Sorry kid, but it's a precaution I'm taking until my shoulder's healed up," Naruto said as he slipped his jacket back on nonchalantly, a very brief grimace crossing his face as he did so. Looking around, Naruto rested his eyes on the green haired man with three swords. "Roronoa Zoro? What's the pirate hunter doing here?"

"Ah, Zoro's my first mate!" "I never agreed to that!" Zoro corrected Luffy, who ignored the swordsman as he continued loudly, "And Nami's our Navigator!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. Nami had said the teen could be loud, but she really wasn't kidding! He groaned when Luffy spoke again and wrapped his arm around Naruto's neck from behind, "So you're not our Pilot, but then you can be our Helmsman! Your wind can make sure that our ship never stops!"

"You have a ship?" Naruto asked in surprise. He thought that they had lost their ship upon arrival to Syrup Village.

Luffy's face broke out in a wide smile, "Nope!"

"Actually," a voice said from behind them. As everyone turned, Naruto became part of the wind and Luffy fell through him once more. Seated in a wheelchair being pushed by a different butler, Kaya smiled at the small group of four, "My father did leave me a few things and seeing Kurahadol-I mean, Kuro" Naruto scowled at the name "and his men are...dealt with, you can have my ship as thanks!"

"She has a ship/Really? Thanks!" Zoro and Luffy said as one, the former surprised and the latter excited. The four were then led to a hidden harbor where a caravel class ship sat waiting for them. Naruto held a hand over his eyes as he admired it while blocking out a portion of the sunlight. Luffy gave a cry of glee and ran towards the ship. Nami grinned and rubbed her hands together before running after Luffy in order to ensure she got a good room. Zoro ducked his head with a smirk as he calmly walked onboard with Naruto following.

"It's perfect!" Luffy exclaimed happily, "Now she just needs a flag!"

"What about the name? I vote Beautiful Baaahstards," Naruto joked as he pointed at the figurehead. Zoro barked out a laugh before a voice cut through their laughter.

"It already has a name," Luffy pointed out as he ran towards the bow with a wide grin, leaning over the front and looking down at a small carving, "Going Merry!"

Naruto and Zoro shrugged before they began their own examination of the ship. Naruto went below deck to find a bed while Zoro climbed up to the crow's nest.

About fifteen minutes later, the four pirates (or rather, three pirates and one navigator) were prepping the Going Merry for their journey; when a voice called out, "WAIT!"

They looked up to see Usopp with a large bag over his shoulders running down the hill towards them. Much to Naruto, Nami and Zoro's amusement, Usopp tripped over a rock and began rolling down the hill before shooting off the dock, landing on the deck of the Going Merry. Sitting up, Usopp panted before grinning cheekily at the four, "I've decided to allow you to join my crew!"

"I'm pretty sure he has it backwards," Naruto whispered, not so secretively, to Nami. The navigator groaned and put a hand on her head while Luffy asked if that meant Usopp wanted to join their crew. Upon learning it did, the two danced in a circle in excitement before Naruto leapt up to the stern.

Looking at the sails, the blonde helmsman interlocked his fingers to crack his knuckles in a stretch before he shook his arms. Holding his hands out to his sides, Naruto said, "Kaze-Kaze Pulse!"

The blonde brought his hands together in a loud clap, which the sails caught, propelling the Going Merry forward as he took the wheel. Nami walked up next to him with a map in her hands. Walking up next to the helmsman, Nami closed her map before looking at him, "How fast are we going?"

Naruto shrugged, "Ten, fifteen knots maybe. We're not out of Gecko yet so I want to be careful."

"You seem to know what you're doing despite Luffy's spontaneous choice," the orange haired girl pointed out. Naruto blinked before grinning.

"Ah, that's because I have steered a few ships before I arrived at Syrup Village," Naruto said. Looking ahead, glancing once at his captain that now sat on the figure head doing...something, Naruto asked, "So where to?"

"Forty degrees, twelve minutes West," Nami replied before leaning forward and looking at his shoulder wound, "How's-?"

"It's healing, but it's taking forever," the blonde groaned as he cut her off. Setting the wheel and locking it in place so they could talk, he turned to her, "I don't think it would have happened had I been fighting someone else. But fighting Kuro...Let's just say I wasn't really paying attention at the time."

"Oh?" Nami inquired. Naruto sighed before reaching into his jacket and pulling a flintlock pistol out. Turning so that his head faced her, Naruto said, "Don't try to stop me or this will really hurt."

Before she could ask what he meant, Naruto put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out and Nami screamed in horror, earning the attention of the rest of the Going Merry's crew. Luffy and Usopp also cried out while Zoro donned a look of shock.

After a second, Naruto shrugged and rubbed the side of his head where he had shot himself, "Ow. I hope the numbing pain goes away once I get better at changing..."

His musing was cut off as Nami's fist went through his face, causing the blonde to don an annoyed look. Catching her follow through strike, Naruto asked, "Why did you try to hit me?"

"YOU SHOT YOURSELF!" Nami exclaimed in anger, "RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! DO YOU KNOW HOW DISTURBING THAT IS?"

"Hey, you're not the one being shot. Do you know how long it took me to become a body of wind? How many bullets I had fly through me? Trust me, it wasn't a walk in the park," Naruto replied before releasing Nami's arm and letting a stretched fist fly through his head. When it returned to his captain's side, Naruto tiredly asked, "Anyone else going to try to hit me or are you done?"

"YOU IDIOT!" Luffy cried out, as his hands latched onto the railing in front of the wheel while he stood a good twelve feet away, "Gomu-Gomu..."

"Luffy, just don't say I didn't warn you," Naruto sighed as he ran a hand through his hair before shoving Nami away.

"Rocket!" the raven-haired teen exclaimed as he shot forward. His sandal covered feet were aimed at his chest and just when Luffy thought he had the satisfaction of pummeling his newly instated helmsman for trying to kill himself, he shot through Naruto's body and over the ocean. Naruto turned with arms crossed over his chest and leaned against the wheel.

"I wonder if a Rubberman can float," he mused aloud. Nami's brain processed his words in under a second and she ran to the stern, gripping the railing.

"LUFFY! GET BACK HERE!" the orange haired navigator exclaimed. Faintly, the crew heard a "Gomu-Gomu" before she was pulled back. Naruto had his arm around her waist and had leapt onto the topmast as Luffy slammed into the stern deck. Luffy frowned and pointed at Naruto.

"Get down here and take your punch like a man!" he cried almost childishly.

Naruto used his free hand to rub his chin as he vocalized his musings, "Hmm...Do I stay up here with Nami, or do I go down to my captain, let him tire himself out and/or cause the destruction of the Going Merry while he tries to beat the crap out of me? Oh man...tough choice..."

"At least tell him why he can't hit you," Zoro called from the crow's nest, having already figured out what he assumed to be Naruto's strange ability. Luffy looked past the blonde to the highly amused swordsman, who was leaning against the mast while watching with a small smile.

"What do you mean?" Luffy asked curiously. Naruto grinned and leapt back down, releasing Nami once they were back on the deck and getting an attempted strike as a result. While the navigator stormed off and cursed out the blonde, Naruto began educating his captain on Logia Akuma no Mi.

"Because of my fruit, I can become the wind at will," he explained, partially transforming his right arm as he demonstrated, the limb turning a flowing light blue before he continued speaking, "I've heard that some Logia users can do it instantaneously, but I haven't gotten that far yet. If I can see an attack coming or something triggers my danger sense, I can do it."

"If you can do that, then why not do it while you were fighting Kuro?" Usopp asked. Naruto's eyes went cold at the name before he shook it off.

"I...wasn't exactly myself when I fought the Black Cats or their captain," Naruto admitted as he looked away with his arms crossed, "I got lost in bloodlust and my focus failed. All I had on my mind was to kill Kuro."

Luffy blinked before shrugging, accepting the answer for what it was despite not fully understanding the reasoning behind it. The Rubberman Captain gave a beaming grin as he made a fist.

"Then we'll just help you get stronger!" Luffy announced, "I can't be king of the pirates with a Helmsman that's dead!"

Naruto snapped at his captain, "I'm not going to die! I just need to work on my reflexes-OW! Who threw that?"

Usopp innocently whistled as he hid his slingshot and rocked on his feet. Naruto eyeballed him for a good moment, taking note of the heavy sweat that grew with each second of his stare, before Usopp fell to his knees pleading for forgiveness. Naruto shook his head and flicked the teen's nose, getting an annoyed "Hey" for his action, before he looked at Luffy.

"So...your plan is to find One Piece, eh?" Naruto asked with an arched brow. The teenage captain blinked before nodding vigorously. As Luffy broke off into a long winded explanation of how he got his fruit, Naruto cut off with, "That's nice to know, 'Captain', but...what are our colors?"

"Colors?" Luffy repeated, momentarily confused before beaming and rushing to the sheep figurehead of the Going Merry. A second later, Luffy returned and presented his Jolly Roger.

A half-second after that, Usopp and Naruto were on the ground dying from their laughter.

"What's so funny?" Nami asked, still a bit angry at Naruto's action earlier, before seeing Luffy's Jolly Roger. Biting her lip, Nami fought not to join in on the laughing duo. She couldn't be all palsy-walsy with the blonde just yet, as he had to apologize for his actions. On the other hand, Luffy's craftsmanship was not good. At all. In fact, it was just horrible! It was laughable!

Thankfully, Usopp came to her rescue...though she wouldn't haven't ever used those words aloud. The long nosed Syrup Village native spoke with tears in his eyes, "Hey Luffy, let me take a crack at it, eh?"

Luffy, shrugged and the three waited as Usopp modified the Jolly Roger before revealing it with a proud, "Ta-Dah!"

Rather than a poorly drawn skull and crossbones with a small straw hat, the Jolly Roger now had a proper skull and bones wearing a straw hat and a small scar, similar to Luffy's, under its left eye. Naruto, impressed, whistled and clapped while Nami and Luffy gave their own opinion of it through awed statements. Zoro poked his head up before shrugging and laying back down in the crow's nest, content with just sleeping the day away.

"Now it's official!" Luffy proudly exclaimed, "We're the Straw Hat Pirates!"

Naruto chuckled as he scratched his head, "Oh yeah, fear us. All four of us and our on-loan navigator."

"Hey! I am not 'on loan', you guys are renting my talents!" Nami exclaimed, getting a embarrassed laugh from Usopp while Zoro and Naruto broke down. The orange haired girl growled and went to strike the blonde Kaze-Kaze no Mi user, only for the blow to fall right through his head. Naruto's laughter stopped and he gave her a deadpanned stare, "Seriously?"

"Jerk!" Nami shouted after a brief moment of fumbling over her words. Naruto rolled his eyes before going back to the wheel. He didn't know what her deal was, but he'd let it go.

For now anyway.

Two days had past and we find most of the crew in their normal places: Zoro was playing lookout, meaning he had fallen asleep in the Crow's Nest; Naruto was keeping the ship on track, though it was difficult with the cold shoulder Nami kept giving him for reasons he wasn't sure of; and Nami was plotting their path at the stern deck near Naruto, if only to ensure they stayed on course and/or to get the blonde idiot to apologize for shooting himself in front of her.

Usopp and Luffy however...

"So, we load this thing in here," Luffy said as he put the cannonball into a cannon, "and light the wick, which shoots it. Simple!"

Usopp groaned, "Luffy! You have to aim, too! You can't just shoot a cannonball randomly! It'll hit somebody!"

"That's the idea, though, isn't it?" Luffy asked. The long-nosed teen dragged his hand down his face.

"Ugh, here I'll show you! Grab the telescope and give me a nice obvious target," Usopp said as he went to the cannon's end to position it properly. Luffy shrugged and did as requested.

"Ok...um...Oh! That island has a nice big rock on its beach! Bet ya can't hit it!" the Rubberman challenged. Usopp laughed haughtily.

"Ha! There's a reason they call me 'One-Shot' Usopp, Luffy!" the young man replied. Ever faithful to situations, Naruto chimed in, "And that's what she said!"

In the crow's nest, Zoro, who was slowly coming too as a cloud drifted in front of the sun, burst into laughter.

Usopp glowered and glared at the snickering blonde, "Yeah, like you'd know!"

"But that's what you just told us," Luffy pointed out, "You said you're called 'One-Shot' and Naruto must be talking about Kaya, right?"

At this, Naruto and Zoro were laughing out loud. Usopp, embarrassed, lit the match and turned to face his captain, unaware that the now lit match head had started to burn the cannon's wick.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" the long-nosed teen cried out embarrassed before a loud bang filled the air. Luffy and Usopp watched with different expressions, the latter with horror and the former with a growing smile.

"Hey, I think you got it!" Luffy said happily. Naruto snickered and locked the wheel before leaping down to land next to his captain. Snatching the telescope from the Rubberman's hand, Naruto flicked it open before peering through it and examined the impact. As soon as he found it, the blonde helmsman laughed before handing the scope to Usopp.

"Nice shot, 'One-Shot'," Naruto chuckled out, "Now we only have to worry about that poor guy's family! They might want revenge!"

"AH! DON'T SAY THAT! I-I-I-I DIDN'T HIT ANYONE!" Usopp screamed, as if trying to convince himself of the same thing. Looking through the telescope worriedly, the young marksman paled when he spotted a downed man, loosely gripping a sword. He scanned the beach for signs of any other people, before lowering the seeing utensil to his side with a relieved sigh. Looking up at the helmsman as he walked back to the wheel, Usopp cried out, "Looks like your worries are wrongly placed! That fool won't be telling anyone about us anytime soon!"

Naruto arched a brow before looking back to the beach. Pointing lazily, the blonde then asked, "Ok, then what the Hell is that?"

Usopp and Luffy blinked in confusion before both swiveled around to see the approaching wake. Usopp released a scream of fear while Luffy calmly stared it down. Scratching his head, Luffy asked, "How's he paddling so fast?"

"Rage can make a lot of things happen, Luffy," Naruto sagely answered. The captain of the Going Merry went to respond when a sunglasses wearing man with a tattoo of the kanji for 'Sea' on his cheek hopped over the railing panting heavily. He had a blue jacket and dark shorts along with combat boots on his feet. The one obvious accessory, aside from his glasses, was the large sword he wielded.

"Who fired that cannon?" the newcomer demanded. Naruto pointed at Usopp along with Luffy while Usopp pointed at Luffy. The swordsman pulled his blade up and brought it forward, prepared to fight.

It was then that Zoro popped up over the side of the Crow's Nest and called, "Hey Luffy, there's...Oh? He boarded already...Hm? Johnny?"

"Z-Zoro-aniki?" the newly dubbed Johnny questioned. Naruto sighed and locked the wheel in place, already walking to the bow to drop the anchor.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a long break," Naruto muttered.

"So where's Yosaku?" Zoro asked, the rest of the Straw Hats seated in a circle on the deck near the mast. Johnny suddenly burst into tears at the name, his hands covering his face as he loudly sobbed. The green haired swordsman slapped a hand on his face before he spoke, "Did you idiots go after a bounty and lose? Again?"

"Yes...B-But, that's not why I'm so sad!" Johnny countered, "Yosaku's dying!"

"Dying?" Zoro asked in disbelief. Johnny nodded and explained how, before the cannonball suddenly landed on the beach that he and Yosaku had been training on, Johnny had the bright idea to kill his attackers before they could kill his friend. While Usopp had various reactions to the story, Naruto's was much more calmer.

"Your friend's foaming at the mouth and barely moving, right?" the blonde asked. Johnny, confused, just nodded. Naruto shook his head, exchanging a glance with an equally disbelieving Nami, before they spoke at once, "Bring him aboard."

"Huh?" was the collective response. Nami pinched the bridge of her nose while Naruto stood and went into the ship, intent on receiving something. The navigator mumbled incoherently under her breath before she spoke again, "Get your friend on the ship so we can help him."

"O-Ok...?" Johnny replied, going to the railing and jumping over, landing to the right of his rowboat where his friend laid half-dead. After struggling by himself, Johnny asked the Straw Hats for assistance, getting some by the way of Gomu-Gomu arms. Nami looked over the sick Yosaku once, taking note of his green jacket, plaid shorts, and red headwear. Once recovering from his initial shock of being on the same ship as a Akuma no Mi eater, Johnny asked what Nami was going to do.

"Your friend has scurvy," Naruto explained as he walked back on deck, an orange in his hand. Kneeling next to the gurgling man, Naruto pulled Yosaku's mouth open and crushed the orange in his grip. A few moments later, Yosaku was up and about, asking for more orange juice.

"Sorry pal, that was the last of our food," Naruto nonchalantly replied. A hand went through his head and he gave a stare to the enraged navigator before asking, "What? We agreed on helping him, didn't we?"

"Yeah but we didn't get any money out of it yet!" Nami shot back, her eye twitching, "Why'd you give him the last bit of food? How are we going to eat?"

"Cannibalism is a very common thing you know," the blonde casually stated, getting an agreeing nod from the three swordsmen and Luffy, while Nami and Usopp stared in horror. Naruto blinked before shaking his head, "I wouldn't eat you...well, not Usopp. Kami only knows where he's been."

"You would eat me?" Nami asked in appall. Naruto gave her a sly grin.

"Well...I'd eat you out," he said. Usopp's mouth popped open and his face flushed while the three swordsman laughed. Nami's face flushed bright red and she looked away from the blonde. The image that popped in her head at his words was too vivid for her, and she fidgeted in her spot for a second. Luffy looked from Naruto to Nami and back with confusion on his face.

"Why would you eat Nami?" Luffy asked with a frown, "Usopp would have more meat than her. Wouldn't he be tastier?"

"I'll explain it to you when you're a big pirate, Luffy," Naruto said patiently, getting another laugh from Zoro and his two friends. Once everyone had sobered up, and Nami could look at Naruto without blushing, the blonde helmsman continued, "But if we're seriously worried about food, we should consider recruiting a chef. Because if we're not careful, we could end up like Tweedledumb and Tweedlestupid over here."

The last bit being directed at Johnny and Yosaku, who laughed along with the Straw Hats before crying out in unison, "HEY!"

AN: I hope that answered some of your questions. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more things to do. Conquering the world, enslaving humanity, you know, just little things.

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