A week later.

Rimmer and Lister sat side by side on Rimmer's bed; they were attempting to come up with a reasonable way to make out without it being too awkward.

Lister reached up to brush his hand along Rimmer's hologramatic cheek and smiled, "It kind of tingles."

Rimmer rolled his eyes, "Good to know Listy. I'll keep that in mind in case I ever decide to touch a hologram."

Lister chuckled, "I guess you don't want my commentary huh?"

"No, I don't, just shut up and kiss me already."

Lister whistled, "Rimmer, I didn't know you were so feisty." Keeping his hand steady he leaned forward and touched his lips to the static.

They both kept their eyes open in order to see how each other's lips were moving so they could respond and continue.

Lister noticed that just like it did with his hand the static made his tongue and lips tingle, but he didn't mention this to Rimmer; it felt oddly good. He felt himself growing warm, inside and out, from the intimacy and could tell Rimmer was also affected. As the kiss became more passionate Lister lost his concentration, causing his hand to fall from Rimmer's cheek and move through Rimmer's torso.

Lister pulled away, "Sorry..."

"It's alright..." Rimmer replied closing his eyes.

"Is it weird that it sort of turns me on being able to move my hand through you?" Lister asked cautiously.

Rimmer's eyes shot open. "Uh, n-no, I don't t-think so…I mean, I wouldn't know because I'm not able to do it myself…b-b-but…it does feel good," he stammered out blushing like there was no tomorrow.

Lister melted instantly at his mate's rosy cheeks and adorable bashfulness. He was so caught up in his own adoration for Rimmer that he forgot to say anything in return, until the last part of Rimmer's statement clicked in his mind. "It does? It really feels good?"

Rimmer's eyes slid shut again. "Yeah…" he breathed out. "Do it again."

Lister lifted his hand to Rimmer's chest and let it linger as his own sense of anticipation swelled at the thought of pleasuring his mate in this new way. After a good couple of seconds he moved his hand into the hologram causing Rimmer to react with a sharp intake of breath. Both of them shivered at how close to each other it made them feel.

"Oh…yes…Lister…" Rimmer drawled out.

At the pleased sounds coming from the other man Lister began kissing him again, continuing to move his hand around slowly within him. Soon both men were moaning and moving sporadically, so lost in each other and their passion that they forgot about everything else around them.

"Sorry to interrupt you," a voice spoke suddenly.

The two broke apart, startled, to see Holly in the mirror with his dumb smirk.

"Every time!" Lister groaned. Holly always seemed to pop up whenever they tried to have any kind of alone time.

"Sorry, I just thought you ought to know that the mail has arrived," Holly replied not seeming that sorry at all.

"The mail?" Rimmer exclaimed. "Are you saying that the last batch of mail has just now gotten here? It's taken three million and some odd years?"

"Precisely," Holly said with a nod.

"Well where is it?" Lister asked sounding almost excited.

"The mail pod came in through the docking bay doors and now it's just sitting there waiting for you to get it," he answered as if it was obvious and, well, it kind of was.

Lister turned to Rimmer, "Wait right here, I'm going to bring us back some mail to look through." He then winked, hopped off the bed, and jogged out of the room.

When Lister got to the docking bay Cat was already there circling the pod and calling out 'What is it?' to him as he approached. He had to explain to Cat what pods and mail were while he opened the pod, it was harder to open than it should have been probably due to it being out in space for so long. Once it was open Lister looked inside and saw just how much mail was in it and it was a lot, he was going to have to take bits at a time back to the room. Glancing around the bay he found a cart type thing and began to load piles onto it until it could fit no more, it only held about a fourth of the mail.

Making it back to his room Lister found Rimmer reading Memoirs of an Infantry Officer and seeming very engrossed in it. He parked the cart next to their table and it stopped with a clang startling Rimmer out of his enraptured state.

"This is all I could carry back, it's going to take at least a few days to get through all of it," Lister explained.

Rimmer drew in a large breath and held it with his cheeks flared out for a second before letting the air out slowly and shaking his head to show his astonishment. "That's quite a bit," he said raising his eyebrows and crinkling his nose.

Lister sighed, "I know! But at least it'll give us something to do right?"

"Mhm…I guess…" Rimmer murmured unsure of how he felt about opening mail for the next ninety-six hours.

"Oh come on, stop whining, it'll go by quickly if you don't mope." Lister attempted to convince him.

"Alright, alright, alright…let's see what we have." Rimmer took a seat and Lister sat down next to him setting an armful of mail in front of him.

"Thanks, I appreciate you agreeing to help darling," Lister smiled at him.

At hearing Lister call him darling Rimmer blushed and did his best to reply calmly, "No problem…" Then he sarcastically added, "Sweetheart."

Lister laughed and picked up the first piece of mail, it wasn't for either of them so he chucked it across the room. "Man, hardly any of this is actually going to be for either of us."

"Exactly!" Rimmer exclaimed, "So what's the point?"

"The point is that there could be something worthwhile in here." Lister replied quickly looking through the pile in front of him littering the floor with all the envelopes that weren't addressed to either him or Rimmer, which was all of them. Lister sighed and sifted through the bin for another good pile when he came across something, "See? A perfectly good baseball cap, I'm keeping it!"

Rimmer huffed, of course he'd be able to keep any goodie he found, it wasn't fair. Lister put on the cap and kept at the sorting. The two had barely uttered a word to each other besides what a letter said or how they felt in a certain moment and Rimmer was bored out of his mind as Lister continued for what felt like ages. Suddenly Rimmer looked over at Lister to see him frozen arm deep in the bin as if he were paralyzed with disbelief; slowly he straightened up holding a round container in his hand that read, Total Immersion Video Games.

Lister looked as though he were contemplating something and then he turned to Rimmer, "Do you know what these are?"

Rimmer frowned, "No, should I?"

Lister shook the container, "These are virtual video games, this means you can actually go into them and feel like you're really somewhere else, and I think it even works for holograms! You'll be able to touch and feel again with these."

Rimmer swallowed hard at what that implied, he was excited by the notion but partially apprehensive as well. A pathetic 'oh' was all he could mutter.

Instinctively Lister raised his hand up to the outline of Rimmer's cheek lovingly, "Hey, relax. Don't you want to check it out? I'm sure your dying to do things on your own again. We may even be able to simulate Earth, wouldn't that be nice?"

Rimmer's eyes widened in interest, "We could? You really think so? That would be splendid."

Lister nodded, "Yeah, with Better than Life. It's going to be amazing; it's supposed to create a utopia of everything you've ever wanted."

Rimmer pretty much squealed at the thought of seeing everything he'd ever wanted laid out in front of him and it took Lister by surprise making him jump in his seat a little. Rimmer was a bit embarrassed but he quickly got over it, "Well, let's go get it set up!" He jostled out of the room in a heartbeat forgetting his earlier hesitation about what he knew was to come about between him and Lister.

When they both arrived at the AR suite Rimmer got all situated as Lister inserted the disc and told Holly to make sure everything went fine on the ship in their absence. After Holly acknowledged with a 'sure thing' Lister got ready in his own seat. Once they were ready Holly initiated the program and both Rimmer and Lister's consciousness were sent into the virtual reality.

It was a strange sensation being thrust into a sort of dream like state. The simulation felt very real but at the same time there was a slow motion kind of fogginess to it, it was actually quite calming. Lister was the first to open his eyes and instantly he felt at ease and everything seemed peaceful, "Wow…" He found himself laying on something soft, it turned out to be sand; they were on a beach, "This is already better than I thought it would be. I'd be happy and content just laying here for hours." Everything was amazing, the heat from the sun, the warmth of the sand, the sound of the waves crashing, the cool breeze, everything.

Rimmer made a noise of agreement, "Me as well..." He turned to Lister, propping himself up on one arm, the sun hitting him right in the eye making him squint, "But there's so much more we could be doing."

Lister looked up at him and smiled lightheartedly, enjoying how adorable Rimmer was squinting in the light. 'Oh yes,' Lister thought, 'There's so much we could be doing'. He shifted closer to Rimmer smirking, "What did you have in mind?"

Rimmer had a wild look in his eyes as he grinned back, "Too much Listy! I mean look!" He grabbed a handful of sand and let it run out through his fingers, "I can touch! I can feel!" He stood swiftly, "There's so much I want to do!" He started to run calling back to Lister 'Catch me if you can' and guffawing.

Lister had never thought Rimmer could be so willingly childish, of course Rimmer pretty much always acted childish but he never seemed to realize it, maybe he didn't even know it now. Lister laughed hard as he pushed himself up and began to run after Rimmer loving how happy Rimmer seemed to be in that moment.

To Rimmer the feeling of air on his face was exhilarating; it's been ages since he felt so awake and free, and of course, alive. He couldn't believe it, he was running on a beach, he could feel the sand beneath his feet, the water as it rushed up against his calves, he never thought he'd experience this again, not that he's ever run on a beach so carefree before but still. Finally Lister caught up with him and jumped on him tackling him to the ground, they both burst up laughing. "How dare you ruin my suit?" Rimmer exclaimed.

Lister chuckled, "Oh come on; Holly can give you a clean one in a flash."

Rimmer rolled on top of him, "I was just teasing." He ran his hand along Lister's cheek, he savored the feeling of his soft skin and in that moment he realized what he wanted to do more than anything else. As he leaned down towards Lister his heartbeat quickened in anticipation, this would be their first kiss. Suddenly a big wave crashed down over them drenching them and almost drowning Lister, unfortunately this made Rimmer pull away. Once he didn't have water dripping into his eyes Rimmer opened them and was going to ask if Lister was alright but as soon as he saw Lister he broke into another fit of laughter, "You look like a wet dog!"

Lister grinned and giggled, "Look who's talking; you look like a smegging weasel." Rimmer frowned; he didn't quite fancy being compared to a rat like creature. Lister put a hand on the back of Rimmer's neck and massaged it gently bringing his other hand to Rimmer's hip, "An adorable weasel." The mood got intense again as they gazed into each other's eyes, slowly Lister began to pull Rimmer closer and closer gripping him a bit harder now as if he was scared the water would wash him away if he didn't hold onto him. When the other man's face was just centimeters away Lister breathed out three words, "A kissable weasel."

Rimmer couldn't keep a moan from escaping before they even kissed and when their lips did meet it was the best sensation he had ever felt, he didn't know anything could feel so good; he never thought it possible that he could ever be this close to Lister physically. His hands roamed over every inch of Lister he could reach, he wanted to feel and explore every part of him. He wanted to take this all the way right then and there but the fact that they were soaking and that sand was everywhere made that idea unappealing at the moment. Reluctantly pulling away he looked Lister in the eye flirtatiously, "I think we need a bed."

Lister grinned, "I agree, I think we need one as well, this is quite uncomfortable…nice, but uncomfortable."

Due to their combined mutual wish the scenery changed from a view of the ocean to a view of a maroon bed spread surrounded by a sheer deep red canopy and covered with rose petals, the room it was in was lit by candlelight; Rimmer was a bit surprised by the romantic feel of it. "Is this how you pictured the room in your mind?" he questioned Lister.

"No…is this how you pictured it?" Lister retorted.

"Not at all." Rimmer replied, but when he saw a look of concern pass over Lister's face like he was worried that Rimmer had a problem with it he added, "B-b-but I don't mind it! It's fine! It's absolutely good enough for…for…for…" why couldn't he bring himself to say it?

"Making love?" Lister guessed with an encouraging smile.

Suddenly Rimmer looked shy, "Yeah…" Lister scooted over to Rimmer and kissed him. He began to undo the buttons of Rimmer's shirt, slipping it off once he was done. He took the time to admire Rimmer's, dare he say surprisingly, elegant skin before layering his torso with kisses while fully undressing him. Rimmer sighed relaxing and enjoying the long awaited sensation of being kissed lightly everywhere imaginable. Once he was completely undressed he helped Lister remove his clothes as well. Now that they were both naked they pressed up against each other, both moaned loudly at the full on contact. As they moved with one another the movements sent feelings of extraordinary ardor throughout their beings and they came to their releases simultaneously sooner than they expected. Out of breath Rimmer panted out, "Sweet Napoleon, that was a hundred times better than I ever dreamed it would be."

"Oh my god, yes." Those were the only words Lister could find at the moment.

Rimmer hugged Lister, "You know what?"

"What?"

"Nothing can top how amazing this was but we can literally do whatever we want. I personally, right now, would like a nice, refreshing drink." A delectable looking drink appeared on the nightstand next to him.

Lister sat up, "Shite, I need one right about now too." And he got one.

As he sipped his drink Rimmer stated, "Forget an afterlife. Who needs that when you have virtual reality?"

Lister laughed, "You're right, this is just like our own personal heaven."