AN: Eep, my first fanfiction! Confession: I've only seen a handful of Victorious episodes but I've been reading a bunch of other fics for the past few weeks. I'm kind of obsessed with the Cat and Jade friendship? I hope this is somewhat in character so I hope you enjoy! So instead of Tori taking Cat to the nurse in Terror on Cupcake Street, Jade does!

Jade's halfway across the parking lot when she realizes a certain dippy redhead is still in possession of her car keys. With a sigh, and a curse, she turns around on her heel and kicks at a random rock situated on the smooth pavement. She quickens her pace when she realizes Sikowitz's class ends in three minutes and if she wants to cut for the rest of the day, she has to be quick.

There's a few kids lingering in the halls when she pulls the heavy door open. They quickly scatter upon her sinister glare. Jade smirks because she's still got it.

Vega is in the middle of blabbering about live television when Jade storms in the classroom. Cat is giddily chomping away on her keys.

Jade rolls her eyes.

"Give me my keys back," she demands.

Cat pouts. "Kay, kay."

Jade ignores the slobber on her right palm and quickly counts her keys. She frowns when one is missing.

"Where's my house key?"

Cat immediately lets out a strangled whimper and rubs her stomach.

"I swallowed it…"

"I'll take her to the nurse," Tori cut in like she's Cat's personal savior.

Just as she's about to take Cat by the hand, Jade steps in.

"No," she barks at the younger Vega. "It's my house key. I'll take her."

Cat giggles as she pulled away and happily lets Jade pull her along. "Yay! We're going on a field trip!"

"Shut it," Jade says angrily. Cat's not even trying to walk so she's basically dragging her like a dog on a leash. "How did you even swallow my house key?"

"I love the taste of metal," Cat says wistfully. "It feels cool in my mouth!"

"Well it's not going to feel cool when I jam-"

"Harsh," Cat pouts, cutting Jade off. She stops in place, causing Jade to snap back like an accordion. "It's okay, though. I've swallowed keys before!"

"I'm sure you have," Jade quips, tugging Cat along. She stomps her foot at Sinjin, whose lingering look is too creepy for Jade's liking. "Go!"

Sinjin scampers away like a scared child. Cat giggles and starts to skip.

"No!"

"Phooey," Cat cries. She starts to swing her arm back and forth and is pleasantly surprised when Jade doesn't falter. "Jadey?"

Jade doesn't respond right away. Instead, she ponders how long the walk to the nurse's office actually is. Sure, she's been there a million times with Cat when she's gotten candy stuck up her nose, but this visit seems like a journey. Maybe it's because she's in a mood and wants nothing more to be at home and watching a marathon of the Scissoring on television.

"Jadey?" Cat tries again, this time, her voice a bit quieter.

"What?" Jade grumbles. "What is it, Cat?"

Cat stops and looks at her shoes. "What, what if the key doesn't come out?"

Jade hears the uncertainty in Cat's voice. It kind of breaks her heart. "It will." Her voice is flat and not at all convincing, but she knows Cat believes it because she's bouncing up and down and clapping.

"It's like you're apart of me," Cat sings happily. "I like it. Maybe I don't want it to leave."

"Well I do," Jade yells, pulling Cat into the deserted Nurse's office harshly. "How else will I be able to get into my house?"

Cat sits on the blue bed and can't help but giggle when it makes a farting noise. Jade rolls her eyes at the immaturity and pulls the rolling chair over to sit.

"Can't your daddy just make a copy for you?"

"Don't call him daddy," Jade demands in disgust. "And that would require talking to him."

"You don't talk to him?" Cat asks curiously. "I talk to my daddy all the time! He just nods and says 'uh huh' every time I finish a sentence. Sometimes he limits me to sixteen words an hour. It's hard!"

Jade tries not to smile at Cat's cute little pout. "I can imagine."

Cat lays back and rubs her stomach as it gurgles. Jade sighs and fiddles with her PearPhone anxiously. She knows the Nurse is probably somewhere in the school doling out meds and rubbing cream on the hives Sinjin developed after she yelled at him.

"Where's Nurse Julie?" Cat asks, as if she's able to read Jade's mind.

"You know her name?"

"Yeah! She's so pretty, isn't she Jade? She looks like Cinderella!"

Jade doesn't bother to respond. Instead she thinks about how peppy and nice Nurse Julie always seems. Everyone loves her because she's so loving and nurturing.

So Jade hates her.

"Whatever."

There's a faint whistling from outside and the sound of heels pattering against the tiled floor. Jade stands up and glares at Nurse Julie from the doorway so she knows it's time to hurry the hell up.

"Hello, Miss West!"

"Yeah, hi," Jade bites out in annoyance. She gestures towards Cat. "The kid swallowed my house key. Get it out."

Nurse Julie chuckles. "Again, Cat?"

"I didn't mean to," Cat's bottom lip quivers. "Jade's mad at me because her key is swimming happily in my tummy!"

"Aw," the elder woman pouts at Cat. "I bet she's not."

"I just want my damn house key back!"

"We're just going to have to wait until it passes."

Jade tugs at her hair in frustration. "Can't you give her like a laxative or something?"

"One time," Cat chirps happily. "My brother ate a whole box of laxatives that were supposed to be for my dog. He didn't leave the bathroom for a week."

"Thanks for that visual," Jade deadpans. "So what am I supposed to do? Babysit Red until the key passes?"

"I'm afraid so!" Nurse Julie practically sings. "If it's small, it should pass fairly soon."

"How soon?" Jade yells. Doesn't this nurse understand she has places to be? She can't sit in her stuffy office for the rest of the afternoon and babysit Cat Valentine!

"A few hours at the most! I'll let you two stay in here, okay? I'll inform your teachers."

Jade collapses back in the rolling chair and nearly falls face first on the ground as it zips backwards from the impact. Cat giggles into her hands.

"You're silly."

"You're giving me a headache," Jade says, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"My daddy says that to me a lot."

"Cat!" Jade cries in annoyance. "Shut up. Just shut up."

Cat gnaws on her bottom lip and dramatically drapes her arm over her eyes so Jade won't see the tears welling up in her eyes. She curls herself into the fetal position and sniffles softly into the material of her shirt.

"You hate me!" she whines minutes later.

Jade's at a loss for words. There's a part of her that wants to tell Cat that her dad's actually home from work today. She wants to tell her that she doesn't actually mind hanging out with her in the nurse's office because she misses her. She wants to say how much Cat means to her but she can't. Her constant worry about upholding her reputation hinders any chance of expressing any of those things. So instead, she sighs and pats Cat on the back.

"I don't hate you."

It comes out in a whisper, but Cat overhears and rolls over in excitement. She falls off the bed and lands on the floor with a thud. Jade can't control her laughter and springs to her feet to help Cat up. Cat throws herself around Jade's waist and squeezes it tight. Normally Jade would push her off, but she can't. She hugs Cat back and sort of smiles. Cat doesn't see this obviously.

"Uh oh," Cat squeaks. She pulls back from Jade.

"What?"

"I have to use the bathroom," Cat whispers in embarrassment.

"Finally," Jade says, rolling her eyes. She stares at Cat when she doesn't move. "I hope you don't expect me to go in there with you."

"No!"

"Then what is it?"

"I need you to leave," Cat says politely. "I get, I get nervous…"

"I'll wait outside," Jade groans. She grabs her bag and sullenly kicks Cat's bag out into the hall with her. She slumps down against the wall and pulls out her phone. There's a text from Tori.

Is Cat okay?

Jade smirks and types back: No. The key pierced her kidney and she may need a transplant. Go ahead and offer yours.

It takes Tori all of ten seconds to text back.

What?

Jade chuckles and shoves her phone back into her purse. She gets a thrill out of letting Tori worry for a while.

After what feels like an eternity, Cat skips out excitedly. Jade immediately stands up looks at the smaller girl expectantly.

"Well?"

Cat tilts her head to the side in confusion. "Well what?"

"Where's my house key?" Jade yells at the top of her lungs.

"Oh!" Cat giggles. "I flushed it."

Jade breaths a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god."

"Was I supposed to get it out?" Cat looks like she's going to cry again.

"No!" Jade says. "That's gross. I'm just glad it passed…"

"Aw," Cat coos. "You were worried about me!"

"I was not," Jade snaps, pushing Cat off when she leans in for a hug. "Now we can get on with our day."

Cat trails behind Jade all giggly. She runs up and latches on to the taller girl's hand. "Let's go get frozen yogurt!"

"You want to cut class?"

"I'll buy," Cat grins from ear to ear. She tugs on Jade's hand like a petulant child. "Come on, Jadey! Let's go!"

Jade doesn't fight the smile forming on her face. She lets Cat guide her out of school and forgets all about her stinking house key. Once they get in the car, Cat pulls out her phone and stares at it in confusion.

"What's the matter? Did you forget how to work it?" Jade quips with a chuckle.

"Tori texted me," Cat begins. "She said she heard about the key piercing my kidney…"

Jade doubles over in laugher and bangs the steering wheel. "Vega's so gullible."

"Do I need a kidney transplant now?" Cat begins to cry. "I don't wanna die!"

Jade just shakes her head and stares at Cat.