A/N: Obviously this has mature content, sexings and whatnot. Read at your own discretion, blah blah blah.

Essentially this is an excuse for some first time smut on Dave's behalf with a mix of depth beforehand. Enjoy!

Also let it be noted that I don't own Glee nor Dave and Kurt or any of the whole shebang found below.

He wasn't sure why he'd come back. Although it had once been a place he'd had many happy moments and made a few memories he held closely to his chest, as of late it had become a breeding ground for insecurity and regret. Still, a drink was a drink. And for whatever reason, "regular" bars made him even more uncomfortable. At least here he wouldn't have to fend off drunk women hitting on him. And drunk men…well, they didn't look his way ever, sober or otherwise, so it wasn't that hard to just sit down and have a few drinks in peace.

He can hear laughter and spurts of joyful shouting behind him, but he doesn't turn around. He supposed he could have just used his fake ID to buy some booze and drink it at home, but he'd heard drinking by yourself makes you an alcoholic or something and really, he doesn't fancy getting shitfaced alone in his room with only that taunting closet of his to keep him company.

He notices a couple out of his periphery further down the bar. He's been here enough to know that look on their faces and what their bodies being so close together as they giggle and pay their tab indicates. Sure enough, they stick their hands in one another's back pocket and quickly hurry towards the exit, probably off to check into the motel next door seeing as how they both look to drunk to drive as well as too horny to wait.

He sighs and motions for another beer as he pushes the empty one to the edge of the counter. He wishes he could be like that sometimes. That he could just…meet someone, even just for a fun night. He gave up on hoping for relationships a while ago. His own haunting past had been enough, he was sure, to drive anyone away, but now throwing in that he was a suicidal, homeschooled freak…yeah, that wasn't going to happen, especially not her e where the selection was pretty pathetic.

Of course, it wasn't without trying. He'd had his eye on one guy, for quite a while actually, but he'd messed that up before he'd even started. There was no way in hell it would have ever worked out and despite all his trying and how hopeful he wanted to be, it was more obvious than ever. It was obvious because Kurt didn't just reject him as boyfriend material, but apparently he wasn't even good enough to be friendzoned properly.

He thought maybe it was Kurt's way of being kind and trying to spare him. That this way he wouldn't have to trail after him carrying shopping bags while he babbled on about how great his boyfriend was, all the while trying to look happy for him and not jealous at all. Even still, though, he'd wanted to believe that after the hospital visit that Kurt would at least…fuck, text him every now and then. Especially once he dropped off the school radar and started spending more and more time at home, that maybe he'd at least get a text asking if he was even still alive, but none had ever come.

He knew somewhere in his fucked up mind that it was partly his fault too. He could have texted Kurt first, but that was the thing about when you felt like nobody wanted you; it made you feel clingy and somehow even worse about yourself to have to jump up and down to get someone's attention. It made you hate yourself even more to have to poke people to remind them that you still existed. And in a way, it was almost refreshing to realize that you're not paranoid and overly pessimistic about things, but that people just really honestly didn't like you and that the voice in your head isn't actually a lie and that you're not crazy. It was reinforcement. It was proof. And it was evidence enough for him that he'd never have the things other people did. Of course, another part of him shrugged and felt like he deserved as much, so he tried to not let it be a big deal.

Still, though, he was a teenage boy and hell, a human period. Hormones hit him just as hard as anyone and in a society that favors passionate kisses and intimate moments above all else, he couldn't help but feel a little put out about it sometimes.

There was also something to the notion of looking around you and realizing that you're the only person your age who hasn't had sex yet. He tried not to let it get to him, but it was a horribly lonely feeling. It was bad enough that he was already watching everyone craft out their lives and make promises to be with their significant others forever and ever, but to have not even experienced something that almost literally everyone does… It felt like he'd missed some step along the way. That instead of how being the kid who matured faster than everyone else his age, he was suddenly stunted and doomed to be forever in the shadow of all his peers.

Realistically he knew it wasn't that big of a deal. That having sex, doing something even stupid and slow box turtles could do, didn't make anyone better than anyone else. But to be on the outside it was hard not to feel that way.

He'd thought before about maybe saving up some money and venturing into areas rather not mentioned, aka the alley behind the bar or even Craigslist to see if he couldn't jump off the bridge like all the other kids. True, it wouldn't be the amazing, "Oh my god, I love this person so much!" kind of deal, but sex was sex, right?

However, he'd glanced at the prices enough to know that if he ever wanted a proper future for just himself without being cumbered down by say, AIDS or some other horribly unpleasant disease, that he'd need to just keep his money in his wallet where it belonged. Ah, the price of trying to play it safe.

He was lost in his thoughts as he watched slow beads of water drip down his beer bottle. So lost that he didn't even register that someone had taken the seat next to him, even though there was plenty other open ways further away.

He heard something and suddenly started, realizing that he was being spoke to. He turned quickly and nearly upturned his drink as he saw, of all fucking people, Kurt Hummel sitting next to him and smiling tentatively.

"Wh-what?" he choked, realizing Kurt must have said something as he sat down.

"I said, 'better watch your beer bottle'," Kurt said with the same hesitant smile still on his face. "You looked like you were about to drop it and that's…never mind," he said, color rising to his cheeks as he turned to the bartender who slid some kind of fancy drink over to him.

Dave watched as Kurt picked it up and stared, his mouth open and gaping before he realized he was being rude. He closed it quickly and averted his gaze back to his drink, not knowing what he was supposed to say here.

Kurt spared him of that, though by shortly breaking the silence that was growing more awkward between them. "So…how have you been?" he asked cautiously as he nursed his drink.

Dave shrugged and bit back hateful comments about how Kurt would have known if he'd bothered making good on his promise to help him get through things. But he couldn't be mad at Kurt. He understood. No matter how much he wished things were different, he was still the guy that tormented him and made him transfer schools. He was still the sorry sack of shit that had the gall to send him Valentine's Day cards and try to woo him. He was still the pathetic asshole that had called him over and over again while he felt like his world was coming down around him. Kurt didn't owe him anything and Dave was the one who should still be sorry.

He took a long draw off his beer before answering. "Been better, I guess. My life kinda alternates between varying shades of shittiness, so it's hard to really say, but…I'm alive, I guess," he said although his tone suggested that wasn't anything to really brag about either.

He could see the disappointed look on Kurt's face and how uncomfortable this conversation was becoming. He sat up a little more and shook his head. "It's not your problem, though. Doesn't matter. How have you been doing?" he asked quickly before Kurt could spit out whatever retort he'd had.

Dave watched as Kurt closed his mouth, reshuffling his words he supposed, and opened it again. "I've been…fine," he said tersely, his fingers flexing around his glass a little. Dave narrowed his eyes and looked at Kurt closer, trying to assess what he really wanted to say. Kurt was the one to avert his gaze this time as he turned in his chair a little. "Okay, so…things aren't actually that great. My plans for having a magical senior year sort of blew up in my face, but I guess…I guess I'm really the one to blame for that. For once, "he said dryly, "it wasn't everyone else that was the problem, it was me."

Dave frowned at that. Kurt shook his head and finished off his drink before gingerly setting it on the counter as though he were afraid he'd break that too. "You don't want to hear it, it's one big, long sob story," he said with a snort as he waved to the bartender for another drink.

Dave looked at Kurt, really looked at him this time and his frown deepened. In all his misery and self-loathing he'd never stopped his pity party for one second to consider that maybe Kurt was having it rough, too. Of course, it would have been hard to guess. He'd been able to return to McKinley, he had all those friends in glee club, his dad was doing better and he seemed to really like his family, and then of course there was his apparently wonderful and all-amazing boyfriend. Dave couldn't imagine what kink there must have been in Kurt's life that drove him to get drinks by himself in a seedy little hole in the wall like Scandals.

He waited until the bartender brought over Kurt's second drink before he cleared his throat. "You know, I'm pretty sure that's part of what bars are designed for… Spilling sob stories and crying into your drink and all," he offered with a small smile.

Kurt laughed, actually laughed, for the first time in what felt like years. He grinned at Dave before taking another sip of his drink. "Bit sour," he muttered under his breath as he sat it back on the counter. Dave held up his beer and gestured it towards Kurt's drink. He looked puzzled for a moment, but nodded as understanding came to him.

Dave tipped his bottle over the rim of Kurt's glass, pouring just a little bit of his drink into the mix. The color of the beer made the mixture swirl a bit and then settle. Kurt shook the glass a little before bringing it back to his lips and taking a sip. Dave stared longingly as the movement before looking away quickly, not wanting to be caught.

Kurt brought the glass back down and nodded approvingly. "Much better," he said in an appraising voice before his smiled faded a little and he looked back down at the countertop. "I dunno, Dave. Things this year just got…so out of control. I thought my life was finally coming together or turning around, but instead it just…got worse somehow," he said sadly.

Dave leaned in a little, feeling like this was a conversation he didn't want to share with the entire bar. "What happened? I mean…obviously I don't know everything, but I thought you were like…happy? Really happy. What happened?"

Kurt sighed and twirled olive pick in his drink between his fingers as he thought of where to even begin. "I was happy…" he said slowly. "Or at least…I thought I was. I thought…god, this is so stupid," he scolded himself. Dave shook his head and ducked his head to try and meet Kurt's eyes.

"Hey…think of who you're talking to here. I'm pretty sure I wrote the book on being stupid, so…seriously, I'm not going to judge you. Just tell me," he said softly. Kurt smiled a little at that and Dave told himself to not read too much into it or to get too carried away. He was trying to get over the guy not make a move on him.

"Well, I guess it started with…Blaine," he said slowly as though he were piecing it together. "I thought he was my knight in shining armor or something equally as stupid and Disney as that. I thought he was going to come into my life and suddenly just…make everything better, but lately it's seemed like things have only gotten, well like I said...worse somehow. And it's not really his fault, I'm not saying I blame him," Kurt quickly clarified, to which Dave snorted quietly in disbelief. Kurt shot him a look, but didn't say anything. He knew Dave's interactions with Blaine had been…less than desirable.

"It's just…I dunno. I've felt myself change. I don't feel like myself anymore and…not really in a good way. I feel like I have to be this certain person to be with him, you know? Which I guess makes sense. I chased after him for months and for a good portion of it he knew that I liked him, but I wasn't enough. I didn't sing the right songs or I'd do something expressive with my hands. I'd get too excited about things or try to stand out and he didn't care for any of it. He'd rather serenade Abercrombie models who worked at the Gap.

I feel like I've been striving to be the perfect boyfriend ever since. Like…like I had to measure up to how great I'd made him out to be in my head, but that I always fell short. I felt like Blaine was amused by me more than he actually loved me, but…maybe I was wrong. I don't really know anymore," he said quietly before taking another sip of his drink.

"Did he make you happy at all?" Dave asked, his voice tight.

Kurt pondered the question for a long while. So long that Dave was about to apologize for overstepping before Kurt spoke.

"Sometimes. I mean…we have fun together. But in hindsight, it's the kind of fun I'd have with Mercedes or Rachel, not the kind of fun I should have had with someone I'm dating, you know? We never really scratched the surface. That's all we did, have fun. We didn't deal with things when they were hard, we just went to the mall instead or talked about who was on the cover or Vogue or something." Kurt shook his head and laughed, but it was without humor. "In some ways I think I was closer romantically to Mercedes and Rachel than I ever really was Blaine. There's was only time when I felt like…finally, we were going to address some things. That we'd just…lay everything out on the table and we'd be okay. We'd work through it together and be stronger for it, but instead…instead we just pretended like it didn't happen and that we were upset for other reasons. We made the same promises over again to never be apart and talked about true love and the whole nine yards and then that was it. I went right back to sitting on stools in the dark watching him perform and he went right on never asking me what was wrong and never just telling me when he had a problem. Guess it isn't all that surprising that we broke up even though it looks like I'll be here for another year," Kurt said icily.

Dave balked at that, unaware on both counts that Kurt no longer dating Blaine and that he was going to be in Lima next year. "Wait, back up a minute…" he said as Kurt laughed.

"Oh, that's right. You don't get the punchline, do you? Yeah, see… everything between us kind of surmounted into being about me leaving, right? I was supposed to be packing for New York still. I should be on the phone right now with Mercedes talking about how excited and yet frightened I am. And all the while, Blaine and I would be pretending that me leaving was what was causing there to be a rift between that. Now that that's not happening now, though… We don't have anything to fall back on but ourselves. So, it ended," he said with a reserved sigh.

"So…what happened with the New York thing, then? Money issues or something?" Dave asked.

"If only," Kurt replied tersely. "No, I…I stupidly put all my eggs into one basket as my nana used to say. I only applied to one school. Can you believe that? Just one. And of course it was super prestigious and only takes like twenty people a year and I knew from the get go that Rachel was applying too and why I thought we'd both get in I don't…I don't know. But I didn't. She did, though. Good for her," he said bitterly as he raised his glass in a mocking toast before taking a sip.

"So now what are you going to do?" Dave asked gently.

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe try to find a job or something. Save up some money perhaps. Mostly I'm just going to kick my own ass, I think. And mope about how I'm once again boyfriendless. Such is life, I guess."

"I know that feeling," Dave muttered under his breath before pressing the bottle to his lips. Kurt looked at him, a curious expression on his face. "Oh?" he asked mildly.

"Well…yeah," Dave said. It was obvious, wasn't it? "Everything I've done for the past, I dunno, ever has been a mistake. I've fucked up pretty much every good thing in my life, I make stupid mistake after stupid mistake, and yeah, I'm pretty well single and probably always will be. I mean, shit, I don't even have any friends," he said was a bitter laugh.

Kurt grew very quiet for a moment before softly replying, "I'm your friend…"

Dave scoffed and shook his head. "No you're not, Kurt. Look, no offense, but…we're not friends, okay? I thought at one time that maybe we were or maybe we could be, but…you made it pretty clear where you stand on that matter and really it's probably…probably for the best," he said, a huff of air leaving him as he put his bottle back on the countertop.

He waited for Kurt to say something, reject his words, but there was only silence. Dave nodded, his hopes for a different outcome hadn't been that high anyway. He was thinking about just calling it a night, paying his tab and leaving as he'd clearly ruined the conversation they'd been having when Kurt suddenly spoke.

"Why do you say you'll probably never be in a relationship?"

Dave laughed and gave Kurt a quizzical look. "Seriously? Like you have to ask. You of all people know why, Kurt," he said, still laughing.

Kurt frowned and shook his head slowly. "No, I don't know why, actually. Tell me."

Dave rolled his eyes and turned back to face the wall across from him. "Um…because I'm me? I think that suffices enough."

"And what's so wrong with you?" Kurt asked and now Dave was starting to get pissed. It's like Kurt was taunting him and forcing him to say things that he already knew and probably thought about him. Why couldn't he just leave him alone?

"How much time to do you have?" he asked sourly before he sucked down the rest of his beer. He didn't gesture for another, though. He'd probably had enough. "I've got a shit personality and I'm a shit person and well, some guys get by with that because they're at least good looking, but…nah. I don't have even that going on for me, so…yeah. Seems pretty fuckin' obvious to me," he said harshly.

Kurt shook his head, but realized that Dave wasn't looking at him, so he leaned closer and put his hand on Dave's arm. "David, that's not true. You… Well, I guess you don't know it, but I promise you it's not. You're a great guy, David. Really. And any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Not you, though, right?" Dave asked, his gaze slowly turning to meet Kurt's. "I wasn't good enough for you. Because you really know me. Any guy I could meet here or out there, they'd never need to know. And even if I told them, they wouldn't be able to really comprehend it. Not like you could. And that part of me, that's still a part of who I am. And it keeps you away from me, so…why should I think things would change? Why should I think that anyone would even want to be with me even just for a night? I don't know if you've noticed or not, but people aren't exactly getting in line to get a shot at the extraordinarily ordinary boy who's chubby and sweats too much."

The words hung between them with palatable heaviness. They were both breathing heavily, Dave more so than Kurt but he could feel just as much intensity coming off of the other boy.

"You still remembered what I said…" Kurt said, astonished.

"Of course I did. It's stayed with me ever since. I…I think about it all the time. You were right, though. I mean, not as just a your type thing, but to anyone really. I'm…I'm not…" Dave said as he turned away, but Kurt's hand on his arm, squeezing tightly made him stop.

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself. You never actually meant that I was a fag, did you?"

"Well, no, but that's…"

"You don't actually think I need to change or be different, do you?"

"Of course not, I love the way…"

"And you would never, ever hurt me again, would you?"

"What? Fuck, never…"

"Then don't. Don't hold onto those words, David. Because I didn't meant them either. I was trying to hurt you then because you hurt me and…I guess I forgot that I wasn't the only victim in that situation, so I'm sorry," Kurt said, almost pleadingly.

"I was never a victim," Dave said quietly. "Not like you were…"

Kurt released his grip a little, but kept his hand where it was. "Maybe not quite like I was, but you were still a victim David. And in some ways, worse than I was. Because what you went through…what you're still going through, you've done it alone. All this time. I always had the support of the glee club and my family, but you… Everybody let you down. Everybody abandoned you. It wasn't just a school or a few people, the entire world let you down. And I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner. I'm sorry I was so caught up in myself that I never reached out to you like I should have. I'm sorry."

Dave stared up at Kurt, at a loss at how to react. He opened his mouth a few times, but no words were coming out. Finally, he managed to speak, only to utter the worst thing his mind could come up with.

"I still love you."

He'd expected a slap to the face or for Kurt to contest the words again, but instead he did something even more shocking.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Kurt asked, his tone slightly breathless.

Dave knew he should have turned him down or said that probably wasn't a good idea, but instead he just nodded quickly and reached for his wallet. He threw some bills on the counter to cover both their drinks and followed Kurt out of the bar.

He didn't know where they were going exactly but Kurt was pulling out his phone and making a call. They stopped at the sidewalk and Dave looked around nervously, almost as though he were waiting for someone, karma personified possibly, to come charging out of nowhere and beat him down, but the streets were pretty much deserted.

He overheard Kurt giving the address of the club. Taxi services, Dave's mind provided. He waited until Kurt finished his call before he asked, "Where…"

"My house. My parents are in DC right now and Finn's at Rachel's," Kurt said, but offered no other explanation as to what they'd do once they'd get there or why exactly it was important that they'd be alone.

Maybe he's going to kill you he mind supplied, half-jokingly. He shook his head a little and looked out at the street, wondering which direction the taxi would be coming from and how soon it would be there. As though Kurt had heard him thinking he supplied, "They said it should be here in about five minutes. The place isn't far from here."

Dave nodded, not sure what else to say. He wasn't really anxious to find out what fate awaited him once they got into the cab and headed off towards Kurt's empty home.

Neither of them said anything as they waited. It was agonizing, but soon enough the cab pulled and they clambered in. Dave slid in next to Kurt, but didn't know how close he should be. He opted to put space between them, just in case, but Kurt was busy jiggling his leg and giving directions to notice.

The drive to Kurt's house seemed to take forever and yet no time at all. Before he knew it, Kurt was passing over some cash to the man upfront and climbing out of the backseat. Dave followed suit and looked up at Kurt's home. He remembered with a guilty feeling how he'd come to know the home; his days of egging houses coming back to him. Kurt, however, gave no indication that he remembered that, so Dave thought it best to not mention it.

"Shall we?" Kurt asked as he pulled out his key and marched up to the porch. Dave nodded and stuffed his hands into his pocket as he followed behind, his head turning in all directions to see if anyone was watching them. He knew they weren't doing anything wrong technically, but he felt paranoid nevertheless.

Kurt quickly made his way inside and Dave took the cue to follow in hurriedly after, closing the door behind him quietly even though there was no one else in the house to be disturbed by any noise he'd be making. He turned to Kurt, wondering what on earth they were supposed to do next. It seemed for a moment as though Kurt's confidence had finally wavered, but as he locked eyes with Dave he smiled and his face relaxed. "My bedroom is this way," he said as he turned on the spot, but not before extending his hand to the other boy, offering it to him.

Dave took the hand, feeling suddenly as though he'd need to hold onto it or else fall down in the floor. He allowed himself to be pulled through the living room to a staircase. He couldn't remember climbing the steps or whether or not he tripped over anything, just that he'd somehow gotten to the second floor and was now standing in the doorway of Kurt Hummel's bedroom.

It looked nothing at all like he'd pictured in his mind, but that wasn't a bad thing. In fact, this was much better, because it was more Kurt. He could feel said boy watching him closely as he took in his surroundings. "Nice room. I like it. Nice house, too," Dave said, feeling more awkward with each word he spoke. Apparently he'd done something right, though as a blush spread out across Kurt's cheeks as though he'd just said something romantic or witty.

"Thanks," Kurt said quietly, almost shy. He looked down at the carpet, still smiling before he looked back up at Dave. "So…" he prompted.

"So," Dave replied as though agreeing as he stepped further into the room, not sure whether or not he should shut the door behind himself or not.

"I didn't really think this part through," Kurt admitted with a light laugh as he flounced onto his bed. Dave remained where he was, standing in the middle of Kurt's room and trying not to look at his bed too much.

"Um…yeah, me neither. I guess I should… I should probably go home or something," he said as he imitated Kurt by talking to the carpet. He looked up quickly enough to see a disappointed look on his former classmate's face.

"You don't have to do that. You could sleep here if you wanted. Your car's still at the bar and I'd hate for you to spend money on another cab," Kurt said logically.

Dave bit his lip and glanced up at Kurt again. "And you'd…be okay with that? With me spending the night?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Kurt asked as though the problem with this situation had never occurred to him.

"Well, it's just…I'm me, you know and we're not like…best friends or anything and well I…I have feelings for you and we're the only ones here, so I just…thought that might be weird for you is all," Dave admitted, his face steadily growing warmer.

He heard a shift of movement and suddenly found himself face to face with Kurt who seemed to have gotten even taller since the last time they'd been this close.

"And…what if I said that didn't bother me at all?" he asked, his voice deeper and heavier than Dave knew was even possible for Kurt. "What if I said I was actually…excited that you'd be staying over, especially given how you feel about me?" he challenged.

Dave couldn't have heard him right. Was Kurt saying what he thought he was saying?

"Kurt, I…I don't understand," he all but whimpered.

"I think you do," Kurt replied, quieter than before but to Dave he might as well have been shouting. He was equally unprepared to suddenly feel a pressure against his mouth along with the sense of being pushed and pulled as he found himself pressed against Kurt's body.

He whimpered again and quickly wrapped his hands around Kurt's hips as he reacted to the kiss without thinking, at least for the moment. It was different than the first time they'd kissed. Then it had been something different, a way of saying things he couldn't bear to say out loud and he supposed this was similar, except now it was both of them pleading with one another to understand.

Kurt's hands were in his hair and he was squeezing and tracing every inch of Kurt's skin that he could in this position. It wasn't until he realized how sorely he was starting to miss oxygen that he managed to lightly push Kurt away and take a step back.

Despite the shove, Kurt was still smiling, triumphantly it seemed. He was breathing heavily and Dave was momentarily mesmerized by the rise and fall of his chest and the knowledge that he'd been the one to do that to him. He too was breathing deeply, sucking in sharp breaths through his mouth as he gaped at Kurt. Without asking, he made his way to the foot of the bed and sat down heavily, his shaking legs finally stilling as they'd been threatening to give out on him.

"Kurt, I… What?" he managed finally. Kurt retook his former spot on the bed, his shoulder pressed tightly against Dave's as he smiled at him.

"What do you mean what? I kissed you. Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked, laughter in his voice.

Dave shook his head, but then stopped and swallowed. "Well, I mean…yeah, but…is that what you wanted?" he asked in disbelief.

Kurt shrugged playfully, but saw Dave's distraught reaction and cut the antics. "Yes, David," he said solemnly. "That is what I wanted. I think this past year I did enough things I didn't actually want to do and now…now I only really do things I want to anymore. I wanted to kiss you, so I did. Is that okay?"

Dave still couldn't believe it. He swallowed again and nodded faintly. "I guess, but…why?"

"Why not?" Kurt quipped back.

Dave's heart sank. "Oh, so…what? I'm just a rebound guy or something? Blaine's out of the picture, so now you're free to go around bringing guys home and making out with them? That it? Speaking as someone who would know and who cares about you, you could do better, Kurt," Dave said, his voice tight and clipped as he stood up and headed towards the door.

If Kurt had not acted on impulse rather than logic, Dave would have been out the door and possibly out of his life while he tried to process what had just happened. Instead, he jumped up and grabbed the bigger boy by the arm and stilled him.

"David, that's not at all what I meant. You're not just some rebound guy nor are you really just some guy for that matter. David, I…I like you," Kurt admitted, his voice small and shy again.

Dave stopped and turned to face Kurt again, a guarded expression remained on his face, but his hand didn't reach for the doorknob. "Since when?" he asked gruffly.

"Since…well, I don't know really. It…it kind of slowly worked its way in, only…only I didn't really acknowledge it until tonight," Kurt admitted. "Please, just…let me explain and then if you want to go you can go, okay?" he begged, his hand slipping down to hold Dave's again.

Dave looked down at their joined hands and nodded. He let Kurt lead them back to the bed where they sat down, only this time there was a little more distance between them.

"I've had a lot of feelings about you over the years," Kurt began as though he were telling Dave some kind of messed up bedtime story. "I actually used to…I used to have a crush on you a long, long time ago. But then…well, then middle school happened and no offense, but you turned into quite the asshole, so that died. Ah, young love," he said sardonically. At that much Dave at least managed a smile. He wanted to know more about this supposed crush, but he'd save it for after. Right now he needed to let Kurt talk before he jumped to any conclusions or made any assumptions.

"For a while I hated you. You know that. Or well…I tried to. I never really could, even with the threats and you driving me out of school. I wanted to hate you, but every time I tried my mind just brought up that image of your face from the locker room. When I pushed you away, how you…you broke. I'd never seen someone look so completely shattered. Your face haunted me for a long time, only it was buried under how scared I was. I could never get the sound you made out of my mind, though. That was always there. You sounded like…god, like an animal I'd stepped on or something. It was awful.

But of course, eventually you started turning things around, Santana's influence or not. I realized, you know, after we talked that time in Principle Figgins' office. You didn't have to play along with her scheme. You knew she was in the closet, didn't you?" Kurt asked gently as he squeezed Dave's hand.

Dave nodded, surprised anyone had put that together. "I figured as much. I know Santana can be a cruel bitch, but…I knew she had to have told you something to make you go along with it; something to make you want to trust her, at least. Because when I thought about it, you were actually the one who had the power in that situation, weren't you? She needed you, not the other way around. She wanted to be prom queen, but she couldn't do that unless she was attached to one of the most popular guys in the school, which happened to be you. Anything you would have said would have carried weight with the guys on the football team and they would have never believed her. What you did…you didn't have to. I heard about your bullshit apology, but the rest of it…you weren't obligated and yet you did it anyway. And then when you apologized to me…I think that's when things really started to change for me.

It was the first time I saw a part of you that was good. Truly good. You didn't try to explain to my why you did what you did or excuse your actions. You didn't blame me for anything or beg that I forgive you. I do, though. I do forgive you. You know that, right?" Kurt asked suddenly, realizing he'd never actually said the words aloud.

Dave nodded, tears gathering in his eyes as he searched Kurt's for truth. He believed him and it felt suddenly like a weight was being lifted off his chest. "Yeah…I do," he said softly. Kurt smiled and brought his hand up to wipe a stray tear from Dave's cheek, his thumb brushing back and over his ear before he returned his hand back to Dave's as he continued.

"I know I pushed you. I kept insisting that you come out or you just accept yourself. If I had known… I guess that doesn't matter now, but I want you to know that I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you, it was just…I honestly did care. I didn't just feel bad for you, I wanted you to be happy. I couldn't explain it to myself why. I shouldn't have cared, really. We'd amended things as well as they could be for the time being and you were no longer a threat to me. I could have just accepted that, wished you well, and moved on with my life, but you were still always there in the back of my mind. Hell, even at prom all I could think of was how sad it was that you had to play pretend. I wanted you to be able to have a date, at real date and have fun and be happy. It's not excuse, really, but it's… I wanted you to know I never meant any harm. Road to hell and all that, but it's true."

Dave nodded and squeezed Kurt's hand this time. "I know. And you never made me do anything I didn't want to so…thank you."

"After prom things go so busy I just…got so caught up in everything. I'd still wondered what happened to you and where you'd gone. I had heard enough to know you were still alive, so I breathed a sigh of relief, but come next year I couldn't help but feel…disappointed. I didn't think I'd ever see you again although I understood why you'd want away from the school."

"I had so many bad memories there…" Dave said quietly. "I just wanted a fresh start. Something that told me the future would be manageable and that I could change, be different. Start anew and all that shit. We see how that one worked out, "he said dryly. Kurt's smiled and rubbed his thumb over the back of Dave's hand.

"I was so happy to see you that night at Scandals."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Kurt said meaningfully. "You looked…happy. It was the first time I'd seen you genuinely happy. Well, other than that football game, but up close it was a different story. I felt something then, I just…didn't want to acknowledge it. Especially when you were looking at me like I was the only person in that bar while my boyfriend danced with another guy just a few feet away." Kurt broke off and laughed lightly. "I knew during Valentine's week. I mean, I didn't exactly know it was you, but…I had a feeling it wasn't Blaine. And when you stepped into Breadstix, I knew it couldn't be him. You were too tall," he said with a suppressed smile.

Dave laughed at that and smiled back.

"There's that smile," Kurt said fondly as he brought his hand back to Dave's face. "Do you know when it really hit me, though?" Dave shook his head. "In the hospital. When you closed your eyes and I talked about your future. I…I put myself in the role of your partner. I didn't even realize it at first, but I did. And when you smiled like that…knowing that you were able to after what had happened. It was too much. I think…David, I think that's really why I stayed away. Because I felt something then I'd never truly felt before, not even with Blaine and it…it scared the shit out of me," Kurt said with a nervous laugh. "It's only now that I'm realizing it. David, I…I really do like you. I know I probably don't feel exactly the way you do and I want to be positive before I tell you that I love you, but…I could see myself feeling that way. Easily. Would you give me a chance to?"

Dave was crying again, but this time Kurt didn't try to stop him. Instead, he only nodded and found himself again with Kurt's mouth pressed against his.

It escalated from there. Hands found their way under shirts and tracing patterns onto exposed skin. Lips grew more red and swollen, but dared not part but only for short breaths to keep going. Shaking limbs collided and crashed against one another like the tides of the ocean crashing and to both of them the sounds of sharp breathing and the slide of bodies and clothes and mouths pressed together sounded like music. Every inch of their bodies were ignited and it was all becoming too much and too dizzying. Dave wanted to keep going, especially when Kurt's hand found its way down, down, down and pressed against the bulge in his pants, but he had to pull away.

"Kurt, I…I've never done this before. With anyone," he confessed, hating how childlike his voice sounded. He half-expected Kurt to laugh at him, but instead that soft hand was back to gently stroke his face again as Kurt hushed him.

"It's okay. I'll show you how," he promised.

Dave could feel his mind wanting to linger on how exactly Kurt would know what he was doing, but that didn't matter right now. Kurt wasn't here with Blaine or any other guy for that matter, he was with Dave. And Dave…Dave had wanted this to happen for longer than he could remember. And maybe it wasn't technically how things were supposed to go. Perhaps they should have waited until they at least established what they were relationships wise or waited until Kurt could be sure that he loved Dave, but somehow he already knew. They both already knew and this felt natural, but more than that, it felt right. And as long as Kurt was willing to go along, Dave wasn't going to be fool enough to say that perhaps they should wait. Carpe diem and all that.

Dave was pulled out of his thoughts as Kurt pulled on his neck and dragged him down. He soon found himself pressed over Kurt's body as he laid back against the bed. He still wasn't sure if he was doing things right, but he decided to just go with what his body felt like doing and if it was wrong, Kurt would correct him.

He attached his lips to the slender column of Kurt's neck and heard him gasp. He pulled away, afraid he'd done something wrong, but he felt a hand push against the base of his own neck, pressing his lips back where they'd been. He smiled faintly against Kurt's skin and mouth against the hot flesh, his own body shivering as he felt Kurt's hands tracing the muscles in his back.

He rolled experimentally against Kurt's body, pleased to feel Kurt's hands digging deeper into his back and the way his breath hitched. "Clothes…off…" he panted from underneath Dave.

They sat up, but their hands never really left one another. He quickly helped Kurt out of his many layers or more like let Kurt do the complicated unbuttoning of them and then tugged them off. His pants were harder work as they were much tighter, but they were off soon enough and joined the pile of clothes already forming on the floor.

Dave took a second to just admire Kurt and his body laid out before him. He was still in his underwear but it was more skin than he'd ever seen of the other boy. All pale and nearly flawless. Dave suddenly wanted to know every inch of it. He wanted to know which places tickled and where there were scars or imperfections. He wanted to kiss any and every freckle as well as every single place that Kurt himself might have considered bad.

He suddenly met Kurt's eyes as his own traveled up his body and to his face. He realized he was probably making Kurt nervous, uncomfortable even with his excessive staring.

"Something wrong?" Kurt asked.

"No. Not at all. I was just… You're so beautiful, Kurt," Dave said wondrously.

Kurt instantly flushed at that and reached down to pull Dave up by his shirt, up until their lips met again. "Your turn," he whispered against Dave's parted lips.

If Dave had been nervous before all of this even started, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. He knew Kurt said to forget about the comments he'd made about his body, but it was hard as he'd carried them around with him for such a long time now.

He slowly reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. He didn't drop it to the floor right away, the material hanging limply in his arms just in case Kurt decided he should probably put it back on.

Kurt stared at him for a minute, his eyes taking in the sight before him, but the expression on his face wasn't easy to discern. With each second that went by Dave felt more and more anxious, afraid of what Kurt was thinking until finally the other boy spoke.

"You have an amazing body, David," he said. His tone was gentle, but there was power behind those words.

"Y-yeah?" he stammered as he slowly dropped his shirt to the floor.

"Absolutely. You don't look like the typical Abercrombie model, but…I like that, actually. I like it a lot. I'm done chasing after what Disney told me men are supposed to look like and act like. I want the real thing, not some Ken doll."

It was Dave's turn to blush as he ducked his head and smiled. He jumped a little as he felt Kurt's hand slide up his stomach and curl to hook around his neck, pulling him down for another searing kiss. He bit back a yelp as Kurt's hand slid down his torso and he felt deft fingers undoing the button of his pants. He lifted his hips so Kurt could properly pull the zipper down and moaned brokenly as he felt a hand slip into his pants and palm him through his underwear.

He'd never been touched there by anyone but himself. Well, save for physicals, he supposed, but it hadn't been anything like this. There was nothing orderly and routine to this, it was raw heat and rugged passion that made his hips buck forward into Kurt's palm.

"Oh my…" he heard Kurt whisper to himself as he squeezed Dave through his underwear. "I guess the rumors were true. You are a big boy," Kurt said coyly.

Dave hadn't been aware that there were rumors going around about his dick, but given how wide Kurt's eyes had gotten and how approving his tone seemed, he couldn't really find it in himself to care. He'd known for a while that he was big, definitely above average at least. Although, unlike most of the guys, he didn't brag about it or even want to really draw attention to himself for it. That would lead to awkward conversations about sex, specifically sex with women, and if it could be avoided, Dave preferred not to play the role of the sex starved jock looking for some pussy.

His heart flipped over as he suddenly realized that this was really going to happen. Kurt's hand was still purposefully feeling him up, sizing him up and probably calculating how prepared he would need to be.

He was going to have sex. For the first time ever and with not just anybody, but with the boy he'd had a crush on and then eventually fell in love with for years.

He started breathing even more heavily and unfortunately it had nothing to do with the wonderful feeling inside his pants. Kurt must have sensed something wrong, because the feeling suddenly stopped and his hands were on Dave's face again.

"David? David, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Do you want to stop?" Kurt asked, concern written all over his face.

Dave shook his head, but didn't know how to explain. He'd said that he'd never done this before but not that he was scared. It was suddenly hitting him just how terrifying this was and what a big deal it was for him.

"K-Kurt, I…I don't know if I can do this. I've really never…with anyone. You're…you're the only person I've ever kissed, let alone… What if I hurt you or what if I'm terrible? I don't even know where to start and I'll probably do something embarrassing and just…"

Kurt stopped him with a kiss. Dave wanted to say more, but Kurt's lips remained pressed against him, forcing him to calm down. When it seemed like he was willing to take a deep breath and listen, Kurt pulled back.

"David, listen… I know this can be scary. Hell, I'm scared right now too. I've only ever done it with one person and well, let's just say it didn't give me all the experience in the world. But I know that this is supposed to be a good thing and it will be. You just have to relax and we'll figure this out together. And if you're bad, then you'll get better. I'm not going to judge you and you'll never know unless we try. Please, Dave…let me help you."

Dave couldn't explain it, but suddenly he felt a lot calmer. It was like Kurt had sprinkled something over his head or waved a magic wand and suddenly he felt lighter, less afraid. The prospect was still heavy over his head and there was a knot in his stomach, but it wasn't as tight before. He needed to focus on what was important here and that was Kurt. Also himself. This would be about them and he wanted to at least try to have it be special. And if that meant being vulnerable in every sense of the word, then he was going to try.

He nodded shakily and kissed Kurt one more time before standing up. He shucked his pants and kicked them to the side before crawling back up on the bed.

"We need…stuff, right?" he asked, hoping that he wasn't just quoting misguided articles about gay sex.

Kurt laughed lightly and nodded. "Yes. We need lube and…I don't know if you wanted to use a condom or not. Like I said, I've only ever done it once with one person. I got tested anyway, even though we used a condom. I just wanted to be sure. I have the results if you want to see them, but I'm clean and if you've never been with anyone… Well, it's not like you're going to get me pregnant, so…"

Dave laughed and managed a smile. "No, I don't think I'll be knocking you up any time soon. I guess…I guess we can do without. I don't have any on me. I don't have any lube either, though. Shit," he swore under his breath. Kurt, however, smiled mischievously and shimmied further up the bed.

He rolled onto his side and pulled open the drawer to his nightstand and rummaged around before producing a decent sized bottle of lubricant. Dave didn't even want to think about why Kurt had that and rather decided to just be happy that he had some.

He watched as Kurt settled himself there, further up the bed and against the pillows. He moved up as well, settling before Kurt and waiting to see what was supposed to happen next.

"I'm thinking I should probably be completely naked for this part, wouldn't you say?" Kurt asked as he handed the bottle of lube over to Dave. Dave took it unsurely and looked back at Kurt.

"Um…yeah, definitely. Be kind of hard not to…"

He placed the bottle aside for a moment and leaned down to kiss Kurt, his hands slowly sliding up and down his sides as they dared to go lower each time. Finally they reached the waistband of Kurt's underwear and with a jerky nod from Kurt, Dave began to pull them down.

Being a football player as well as a former hockey stud, he was used to see other guys' junk. Although he tried to shower and change alone whenever he could, sometimes it was unavoidable. However, none of that matched up to what Dave was looking at right now. He stood more firmly now by his earlier statement that Kurt was absolutely beautiful.

Kurt's cock was average in size, but it was the most perfectly shaped thing Dave had ever seen. He noticed that Kurt was blushing again and he smiled. "Sorry," he mumbled. "You're just…perfect."

"Hardly," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, but he smiled nonetheless. "Can I…" he reached out with his hand and laid it on the waistband of Dave's briefs. Dave looked down and then back up at Kurt and nodded tentatively.

Kurt propped himself up better and kissed Dave's chest before slowly pulling his underwear down. He gaped at what greeted him. He hadn't spent much time in locker rooms or looking at porn. The only other penis besides his own that he'd come into real contact with had been Blaine's and Blaine's definitely did not look like that. As he'd suspected as much with his hand, Dave was huge. He gulped audibly, wondering if he'd be able to take him. You'll be sore tomorrow he mind supplied amusedly. Kurt didn't care, though. All he knew was that now he wanted that in him and sooner rather than later.

He pulled back so that Dave could properly pull his underwear off and toss them to the side before shifting his legs so Dave could nestle between them. He handed Dave the lube again and smiled encouragingly.

Dave took the bottle from him, but made no move to do anything else. Dave gave him a questioning look before he finally admitted, "I…don't really know what I'm supposed to do here."

Kurt smiled gently and took the bottle back from him. "It's okay. I'll show you and then you can do it."

He quickly popped the cap and upturned the container, squirting some of the liquid out onto his fingers. He spread his legs further and took a deep breath as he lifted them, exposing himself to Dave.

He couldn't help but grin as the larger boy's mouth dropped open and his eyes grew larger. He could get used to having this kind of effect on him.

Kurt wasted no time circling his hole and coating it with the lubricant. He drew it out for a while, purposefully teasing Dave who seemed determined to not do anything until he knew exactly what he should do, before he slowly started working a finger inside himself.

He hissed slightly at the stretch as it had been awhile since he'd last been breached. He unhurriedly worked the digit in and out of himself before he started to add another. He pressed in deeper this time and started a careful scissoring motion, his eyes constantly on Dave to make sure he was taking this in.

"That's all there really is to it. You just have to carefully work me open with your fingers for a bit. I'll tell you when I think I'm ready and then we can get to the really good stuff, okay?" Kurt said encouragingly.

Dave nodded shortly and reached for the bottle of lube. He tried to squirt out the same amount that Kurt had, but realized that his fingers were considerably bigger, so he added a bit more just to be safe.

Kurt extracted one finger from himself, but left the other. He waited for Dave to push his first one in before he pulled his own out, the friction of the movement building a steady fire in the pit of his stomach.

He marveled at how gentle Dave was being with him, even as he worked a second finger in. His were much bigger and so the stretch was considerably more than it had been, but Kurt had never known it to not burn before, or nearly anyway.

"Should I...another?" Dave asked after a few minutes of him working his fingers just like Kurt had showed him. Kurt glanced down their bodies and took in the sight of Dave's engorged erection before nodded fervently.

Dave laughed softly at that and carefully began working yet another finger inside. He stopped as he heard Kurt moan, but a quick look at his face told him that it was out of pleasure, not pain and that he was being encouraged to keep going.

He had never known that he could do this to a person. That he, Dave Karofsky, could actually turn someone on and make them feel this way, but it was hard to deny the body before him, straining erection and all. He had been the cause of that and he'd never been more turned on and strangely proud of himself.

As desperately as he wanted in Kurt now, he was enjoying pleasuring him this way. Kurt was enjoying it too he could tell, but suddenly he was writhing beneath him. "Oh god, David… Right there, shit… Need you in me now," he moaned deeply as his body shook still.

Dave wasn't sure what he'd done apart from shift the angle of his fingers as his hand had started to cramp a little, but whatever it was Kurt had loved it. Now, however, came the real test.

He sat up again and watched as Kurt's hand scrambled to retrieve the lube once more. He started to hand it to Dave before changing his mind and popping the cap himself. Dave was about to asked what he was doing when he suddenly felt Kurt's hand on him, wrapped around his most sensitive part and coating him liberally with the liquid.

He grunted and bucked into Kurt's hand, but tried to keep under control as this part was important and he didn't want to mess it up. Once Kurt's hand pulled away he heard the thunk of the bottle hitting the sheets and watched as Kurt pushed himself against the pillows even more and slipped his hands under his knees.

He beckoned for Dave to move closer, a command Dave was eager to comply with as he shuffled closer. He felt Kurt slip his legs high around his torso and moaned as he suddenly felt his cock brushing against Kurt's slick and prepared hole.

Part of him wanted to back out and run away like he always did, but another part of him was locked in Kurt's sure gaze. The boy beneath him nodded and locked his arms around Dave's neck and shoulders as he waited.

With a slightly shaking hand, Dave reached down and gripped himself at the base before pressing forward. It was like using his fingers before only bigger. There was more resistance this time, but it was actually happening he realized as the head of his cock pushed into Kurt's tight entrance.

It seemed like they both were holding their breath until Dave was finally all the way in. Kurt's eyes were screwed shut tightly and Dave was afraid to do anything, worried that it would cause pain of any kind. He was just about to ask if he'd done something wrong when Kurt slowly opened his eyes and smiled at him. "It's okay, Dave. I'm ready. You can move now."

Dave didn't need to be told twice. Slowly he rocked forward, his movements minute but immensely pleasurable nonetheless. He'd never imagined how good it could feel to be inside of another person. How he could feel Kurt squeezing and relaxing around him. How warm and tight he was and how close this made him feel to Kurt. It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before and definitely blew any solo masturbatory sessions he'd had in the past out of the water by a long shot.

He didn't know how long they'd been at it already, but gradually he began to pick up momentum. As Kurt's face relaxed more and more he dared to move faster. Whenever Kurt's breath hitched or he uttered a small moan, Dave tried to move faster and thrust a little harder each time.

He'd been so worried about possible moves he wouldn't have known or some secret to making a person come undone, but in the end he'd decided to just go with what felt natural and what seemed to make Kurt's eyes glaze over the most or what had him opening his mouth to utter sounds of pleasure.

Soon the bed beneath them was rocking gently on its posts as Dave moved harder and faster. Kurt's legs were like a vice around him and a similar feeling was surrounding his throbbing member as he gripped Kurt's hip for leverage and drove into him with everything he had.

Even with his hand there, he couldn't pin the writhing body beneath him. Kurt's head rolled against the pillow as one of his hands had formed into a fist to grip the sheets for dear life as the other dug into Dave's back, pressing him on and begging him silently for more.

Dave felt Kurt's leg slip a little and shifted to push it back up. In the process of doing so he felt his position alter and suddenly Kurt's back arched sharply and a curse was cried out.

"FUCK, David! Right there. Oh god, please right there. S-so close, please…fah…fuck me," Kurt moaned wantonly as he slammed his hips down to meet Dave's every thrust.

Dave wasn't sure what he'd done exactly but it had made a string of precome shoot out from the tip of Kurt's cock and between that and all his begging it must have been something extraordinary.

Dave smiled to himself as he willed his body to comply. He pushed himself harder and in turn fucked Kurt harder than he had been before, taking careful measure to hit whatever place that was inside of Kurt to make him feel that way again.

It didn't take long after that before Kurt was gasping and muttering under his breath, his back bowing almost impossibly before he finally tossed his head back so far Dave was afraid his neck might break. A series of spurts shot from the tip of his reddened cock as he rode Dave's dick in time with his thrusts.

The sight of Kurt coming nearly stopped him in his tracks, but the tight feeling in his stomach pushed him to keep going. He felt Kurt's hand on his face and barely heard him whisper, "Come for me, David," before he lost all sense of himself and the world completely.

He came harder than he ever had before, still buried deep inside Kurt's body as he shook and rode out his own orgasm. Kurt's hand stroked him lovingly the entire time until he finally came back to his senses.

He remained sheathed inside his lover, his chest rising and falling dramatically as he tried to bridle himself back under control. Suddenly his limbs felt impossibly weak and with a grunt of effort he pulled himself out of Kurt and collapsed on the bed next to him.

Kurt quickly wound his body around Dave's and melted into his chest. He scrambled for a moment, pushing the lube onto the floor as he pulled the blankets out from underneath them and settled them over their sweaty forms.

They both smiled at one another, the feeling of having just made a beautiful memory hanging between them like a banner of celebration.

"Hey, David?" Kurt asked, his voice already strained.

"Yeah?" Dave asked, his voice also rugged and worn out.

"I love you."

A beat of silence followed by a watery and lop-sided smile.

"I love you, too."

They kissed once more before wrapping themselves in one another and letting sleep take them. They'd wake up hours from then, ready to go again and then once more after that before they'd have to go retrieve their vehicles from the bar and before Kurt's parents returned home. They'd part ways in the parking lot, but Dave drove home that day with the lingering taste of Kurt's mouth and the words, "Yes, Dave Karofsky, I'll be your boyfriend," rolling over in his mind.