This is set just before the end of Spirit Bound, just after the church scene. The whole staking of Tatiana did not happen. This is a little bit different from anything I had read on fanfiction.

I could believe that the last words I would ever say to her were the cause of her death, maybe everyone's right; maybe I am just a murderer and nothing better

Thought about this while I was reading Spirit Bound, again for like the hundredth time :p

Anyways hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I, Ashleigh Wood, do not own or claim the Vampire Academy series as my own. Richelle Mead owns it. I, Ashleigh Wood, claim this plot as mine and no one may copy it or use any ideas without my written permission.

D-pov

I sat with tears in my eyes, I stared down at her. Those four words, that I never should have muttered, that one little lie. Little did I know that those four words would be the last thing I ever said to her. It was strange how I had always been a man of few words and it was a simple sentence, sixteen letters to be exact, that ruined everything.

It still did not seem real, even now as I watched them try and resuscitate her. They pumped her chest while simultaneously using a breathing bag. I felt sick to my stomach, I had only thrown up once or twice but now I felt as if I needed to vomit.

I bent over double trying very hard not to heave in the middle of the emergency room when I saw them start up the Defibrillator. They held it above her heart, they shouted for everyone to back away and then they shocked her.

Her body convulsed and twitched but her heart did not start up again, the doctor called for a higher voltage and repeat but still nothing happened. I was not stupid I knew that her heart had stopped and had been stopped for far too long now.

"Call it…" everything the doctor said after that faded out. It seemed as if my world had stopped, everything was going in slow motion. The nurses and doctors seemed as if they were just standing still, not even bothered by the fact that the world was not as bright as it was this morning, or not even a fraction as bright as it was four months ago.

The cabin was still burned into my mind and I knew for a fact that I would never forget it. Sure I had other encounters with females but nothing would ever come close to what I had experienced with her.

I landed on the floor in a heap, my legs had given way beneath me and my six foot, eight inches was reduced to barely a meter. One of the doctors rushed forward at the same time as my guards. Clearly very shocked at the fact that Gua- sorry Mr Belikov had collapsed.

It was weird to hear my own name like that. I was no longer a guardian, my title had been redrawn from me just like it had been with Victor Dashkov's, they renounced his title once he had been arrested.

"Mr Belikov, Guardian Hathaway passed away at ten fifty seven a.m." a Moroi man with a scraggly beard told me. He had been the doctor in charge. I knew it wasn't right but I blamed him for not trying hard enough.

More importantly this was my fault, if I had just been a little more considerate this would have never happened. I was so caught up in my guilt and the fact that whenever I looked at that exquisite beauty I would see her and what I had done in Russia.

Every time I looked at her I would see the bites and bruises on her neck as if they were fresh, yet a rational part of me knew that they were long healed. I could see the old Moroi talking but I could hear anything but the blood rushing past my ears.

I never understood the old cliché of silence being deafening until now. I felt my body sway just before I hit the ground. It was weird looking up at the room from a different angle, I could see Roza's pale hand hanging over the edge of the bed.

Why did she have to get to her room just in time for that burglar to be there? Is she had just been five minutes later it would have been alright, not only that but she had been stabbed with her own stake. What a cruel, yet ironic method to hurt a guardian but not any guardian my beautiful Roza.

Her room had been trashed almost as if it were a robbery but we, I mean the guardians all knew that it had been staged. No one would have trashed the room that much if it had been a robbery. The only thing that was missing was her stake. That stake, the one I taunted her with when I was a strigoi.

Almost everything reminded me of that horrible period of my life. Yet, how stupid had I been. I hand only concerned myself with my feelings and not even thought about the repercussions on her feelings.

Boy did it have serious ones; I remember that last look she had given me. It was one filled with utter pain and anguish. I knew that I had shattered her heart; the worst thing was when she fled the church, hands covering face almost as if she wanted to keep the tears in until she had reached a secure, private place. No I knew for a fact that was what happened, yet when she had reached her room she startled someone.

The only reason I was brought here was before she had died, while they were carrying her here, she had cried for me. Mikhail, who had brought her here, came and found me just after dropping her off here.

He told me how she asked for me, over and over again. I felt myself heave at that thought, even though I had shattered her heart and ruined her life she still asked for me, using her last breaths. I had only cried a handful times in my life, and yet still when my eyes pricked with tears it felt like I had cried a hundred times.

My heart felt heavier than ever, the grief and guilt that normally wracked me, increased tenfold and it felt hard to breathe. It suddenly felt as if a great weight was pressing down on my chest, I had been roughly twenty minute since her heart had stopped beating.

Lissa could not be found no one knew where she was. It was quite ironic that the only person who could find her was the one who needed her the most. I felt two pairs of hands grab my arms and drag me along to a couch on the side of the room. The guardians hauled me onto the couch and lay me down.

I felt a cool hand wipe tears away from my face and was pleasantly surprised to open my eyes and find Tasha on her knees next to the couch. She had changed from when I had seen her earlier. Her hair was wet as if she had just gotten out of the shower which was strange as I had waited for her earlier while she showered.

I shook it off, "Dimka, I came as soon as I heard I'm so sorry." I managed a small nod at her. She gave me a sad smile, quickly getting up and walking away only to return with what looked like a cloth. She placed the cool material against my forehead, dabbing at it. It made me feel only the slightest bit better but not much.

Suddenly beeps filled the room and the machines around Roza's bed went haywire. I shot up getting ready to scream at the nurse who was removing the wires but a sight startled me and I froze.

Roza was sitting up in the bed, gasping for air while her small hand covered her chest. A sharp cry of pain filled the room and it was the incentive I needed. I sprang forward, practically throwing myself at her. Gracefulness and pose were longer forgotten as I slumped down next to her bed and wept at the sight of her wide, alert eyes.

She looked at me and burst into tears herself. "I'm hallucinating aren't I? " She managed to get out between her sobs. Nurses and doctors burst into the room, much like I had earlier they were about to scream at whoever was messing with the machines only freeze at what awaited them.

Confusion filled their faces, and only because I was looking that direction did I see Tasha sneak out of the room. How thoughtful, she wanted to give us space I thought fondly. I turned back to look at the broken beauty lying on the bed when I felt her hand rubbed against my stubble ridden face.

I placed my hand over hers, I could barely notice the fact that for once since I had been turned back I wasn't looking at her with guilt and pain, no I didn't see the bruises and cuts that I had caused her. No I saw her as a gleaming goddess, my beautiful Roza.

I was quickly pushed out the way while the doctor began working on her again. Unlike the first time, I was pushed right out of the room. It was a solid hour before I was let back into to see my Roza who was now bandaged up and leaning against the pillows.

Once I had stepped into the room I was brought to a standstill. Even covered in her own blood, battered and wearing that horrible excuse for clothes, hospital gown, she was still the most beautiful, stunning, goddess-like woman I have ever aid eyes upon.

Her hair, which was dull, was wild and spread across the pillows. She gasped as I stepped into the room shaking her head, for a second I thought she didn't want to see me but her words cleared any confusion that I held.

"You can't really be here; it's just something that my mind made up. A sick joke from all the stress that I have endured." She shook her head straight after her words, almost as if she wanted to clear her mind.

I rushed forward and grabbed her hand in between mine. "I'm really here Rose. I am so sorry that it took your death to convince me that I really do love you. I was wrong, love doesn't fade, it can't. God Rose I love you so, so much. So much that it hurts."

She sobbed and flung her arms around me only to wince and pull back and look down. A gasp left her lips as well as a name, "Tasha..." I shot up, Tasha? Why would she mention her name? Maybe she saw her slip out?

"She, she is the one who staked me. She has my stake." Rose said while her body shook, she winced with every tremor. I shook my head and right before I spoke a doctor walked in. "Mr Belikov, can I speak with you."

I nodded and walked out, he gestured to an office that I assumed was his office. I stepped inside and he closed the door. He turned towards me with a grave look.

"That stake didn't reach her heart, luckily. I have seen numerous cases of staking; normally when someone poses a threat to their charge anyways the stake always goes right through the heart this wasn't even in the right vicinity, not even on the right side of the chest. Well it was on the right side of her chest, not the left but that's not the point. It barely penetrated her ribcage, barely but it still managed to pierce an artery."

"She bled out, blood loss. But that doesn't explain why you said she was dead. Her heart had stopped; it wasn't beating for twenty minutes. Yet now she is sitting in that room telling, telling me that…" I trailed off not wanting to convict Tasha before I had physical evidence. It suddenly occurred to me what the doctor was saying.

"No guardian staked her, it was someone else, something else." I said slowly. The doctor nodded and his face turned grim. "What I'm trying to say is that a Moroi staked Miss Hathaway, not a dhampir." He said carefully, thinking about his words.

I felt sick to my stomach; this just gave further proof that Tasha could have been the one. The doctor told me that visiting hours were over and that I could come back in a couple hours when it was open again.

I formulated a plan, turning and walking out of the building and began heading straight to Tasha's room in the guest housing near the royal part of court but not in it. I knocked on the door, and gave her a small smile when she opened the door.

She hesitantly invited me in; I gave her a warm smile and a big hug. I had to at least pretend like I knew nothing. My guards waited outside, only one going in with me but stayed in the kitchen, they were probably thinking I was here for other reasons, reasons that made me sick to my stomach but I was here to look for something.

If Tasha really did break into Roses room and take her stake, she clearly needed it for something and I knew she wouldn't throw it away for nothing. We sat and spoke for almost an hour; I could see her become nervous but pretended not to notice.

I groaned and leaned back, she immediately gave me a curious look. "I have a terrible headache. Would you mind if I went and grabbed a couple of pain killers from your bathroom" I asked trying to be nonchalant. She nodded and gave me a flirty smile, which I promptly ignored.

I walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind me, immediately going to the chest of draws by the wall but they were empty. Swiftly I moved over to her closet, which to was bare. I almost panicked; I had to do this quickly so that she wouldn't get suspicious. I turned and looked around the room, the mattress was skew.

That was strange I had almost known Tasha to be quite neat and she would have fixed that this morning. I walked over and lifted the mattress and saw a grisly sight. A bloody stake that held small geometric designs around the base.

I had to act fast; I walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Where one of my guards stood, one that I was an acquaintance with. "Brian, I have to tell you something." He looked up at me startled by my sudden appearance.

"You remember earlier Ro-Guardian Hathaway was attacked with her own stake. Well it's there underneath Miss Ozera's mattress. The bloody stake" I felt incredibly guilt about giving up a very good friend but this was my Roza we are talking about and I would do anything for her.

He nodded and spoke into his ear piece, suddenly the door busted open and my guards pour in. one went and restrained Tasha well the other three walked into the bedroom.

Well that's what I would have liked to happen, instead right after I told him he gave me a sceptical look and narrowed his eyes at me. Damn I forgot how long it takes for everything to happen around here. He spoke into his ear piece quietly and told me that they would send a couple of detective guardians later on just to check it out.

I sighed and walked back into the lounge were Tasha had put her coat on and was getting ready to leave. "Oh Dimka I forgot you were here. I was just heading out, walk with me?" She asked while holding her arm out.

With a heavy heart I linked my arm through with hers and called out to Brain to say we are leaving. He walked out the kitchen and followed us out. I left her at the entrance and went back to the hospital.

R-pov

I heard a scuffling through the door; I stopped just before it and listening. The door suddenly jerked open; I was surprised to see Tasha standing there. I was even more surprised to see her holding my stake.

She thrust forward and I threw my arm up in defence and with her free had she reached forward and pulled me towards her with strength I did not expect from her. My full weight fell forward while the stake went forward and it hit the side of my chest but she wasn't holding and striking and the right angle so instead of sliding past my ribs it hit them straight on.

I heard the crack a split second before the pain washed over me. I cried out and turned my body, knocking the stake out. She suddenly let go and I fell down and hit the ground with a thump. I looked up at her; I tried to ask her why? But I couldn't get a word out; I saw her turn and walk around my room pulling all my draws out, emptying the cupboard.

She walked over to my bed and pulled the covers off and move the mattress onto the floor. She turned and ran from the room, slamming the door with such force that it sprung open again leaving it wide open.

I was shocked out of my memory when the door to my room opened, it was Hans. I scowled at him but I knew why he was here. A couple of other guardians walked in behind him and stood around my bed.

"We have arrested Miss Tasha Ozera on suspicion of attempted murder, yours." He said in a surprisingly calm and warm voice. I was shocked; I didn't know that Dimitri believed me. He had shot up straight when I had told him. I could see that he didn't want to believe me but something had changed his mind.

Hans nodded and then the other guardians stepped forward and took my statement while one of them looked through my medical records. They left within five minutes, they were that efficient. I was still reeling over what happened today.

More importantly what Dimitri had said, 'I am so sorry that it took your death to convince me that I really do love you. I was wrong, love doesn't fade, it can't. God Rose I love you so, so much. So much that it hurts.' He still loved me?

Earlier, after what he had said, I thought it was over, not only our relationship but surely my life to? But now, now I wasn't so sure. Anger flared up in me, why does he think he can just come in back into my life after what he had said to me.

First in his cell when he called on the guards to take me away, then when he asked Lissa to 'make me go away' when I had furthered his case in the courtyard. My anger faded completely when I saw Dimitri's face stick in the room.

I gave him one of the biggest smiles that had ever graced my face which in turn, gave me one as well. My face fell when I realised I no longer felt the faint hum of Lissa in the back of my mind. I looked up at Dimitri in panic.

He sat down next to me and explained. I was shocked to learn that I had been declared clinically dead for over twenty minutes and then suddenly I was alive again. He explained that he had just had a very confusing conversation with the doctor.

Apparently there is a very, very rare medical condition called Lazarus syndrome. Basically it means that sometimes a person dies, and is dead for quite a while and then suddenly they're alive again. He said something about pressure building up in the chest, either due to the blood flowing through or other factors such as air pressure and temperature and it starts the heart again.

According to Dimitri there was only twenty five recorded cases since the eighties. It was very rare and only some people survive it so they were going to keep me in for the next for nights just for observation.

I looked at Dimitri, I had died and then come back without the use of spirit. I had lost the bond and now I would have to be like any other guardian. I grimaced at that fact and looked up at Dimitri, I wanted to ask him so many questions. How do you look after you charge like a normal guardian but I held my questions for another time. I felt like this wasn't the time but I knew by the look on Dimitri's face that I would have plenty of time in the future to ask him. I just had a feeling that he would not be avoiding me anymore.

I hope the ending wasn't too corny for you. Please let me know what you think.

Review please and tell me your honest opinion!