ON THE BEACH ANYTIME

I sat on the beach staring at the ocean. I'm barefoot in jeans and a t-shirt, my long legs bent and open. My eyes transfixed by the beauty of the water. The sound of the waves soothing but still I feel shattered.

Beau had died for me, willingly given her life so that I could live and I couldn't let it be for nothing no matter what.

"Dean, you alright?" Sam asked from behind me.

"I'm fine Sam."

"Alright well I'm going to go get us something to eat."

"You mean you're going to go flirt with the waitress that you've been jerking off too." I huff.

Sam turned three shades of red as I turn to look up at him. "I'm your big brother I know these things, so ask her out already and have fun Sam and I mean I better not see that shaggy head for three days condoms and lube fun."

"I uh well it's….."Sam stammers.

"Have you learned nothing from me?"

Sam smiles. "Three days huh?"

"I'll be fine Sam." I throw in before he can ask. My little brother can be quite clingy when he thinks I'm going to fall to pieces. I guess he learned that from me too.

"Alright Dean just you know you can have fun too she didn't save you for nothing." He walks away and I stay where I am thinking about my life and Sam's for that matter because there is not very many moments that don't include Sam.

The sun begins its descent from the sky and I still sit where I am I just need this time to myself to wonder what I need to do to move on and I know that no matter what I can't stop hunting. I just can't not when I know everything that's out there but I know too that I can't just move on.

Her warm arms slip around me and she kisses my neck and I smile.

"Why did you let me sleep so long?" She asks as I pull her in between my legs to settle against me. "Now I won't be able to sleep the rest of the night."

"Who says you're getting any sleep tonight?" I breathe into her ear and I breathe her in, holding her tight. She was dead really dead and in my crazy grief I had worked to save her for longer than I should have and it had worked. Against all odds she had coughed and started breathing and I had collapsed besides her, waking up in the hospital suffering from severe exhaustion, but she was alive, finally someone smiled down on me. I just didn't know for how long.

I spent two days in the hospital and she spent three then I took care of her like I said I would now how could I protect her if I left and I knew I had to leave.

We sit quietly for a long time watching the waves and the sun going down and I held her hard not wanting to ever let her go and that's going to be the end of both of us.

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So just how many times can one man save my life. He didn't give up on me and for that I'm grateful. The look in his eyes when I woke up in his arms I will never forget it even when he leaves because I know that he's going to leave and I won't even try to stop him.

It kills me that what he does for a living has danger there for him at every turn but he saves so many lives and who am I to take that from the world. He can't stop hunting, it's ingrained in his blood just as much as nursing is ingrained in mine. Only I haven't been involved since I was four.

He has told me everything and I can't believe that no one has ever shown him any gratitude. That Lisa bitch if I ever run across her let's just say that's one life I wouldn't try to save. Dean needs people in his life just like any human does but everyone runs away in fear or dies and all I want to do is hold him and make the nightmares disappear.

Maybe I'm crazy but no one will fit in my life like Dean has and that is going to be the end of me.

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I begin to kiss her neck slowly and lifting my hands to her breasts, she's not wearing a bra and that makes me smile. I love the way that she knows what turns me on. She turns her head and we kiss until we have to breathe.

The last time we made love on the beach it was a little bit intense to say the least I want to give her a better memory of the beach and I will never ever see a beach again without getting a hard on. That should be interesting for Sam.

I lay her down on the sand and get over her and I kiss her senseless. She is begging me to stop teasing her. I'm not teasing I just want to make it last I tell her but I don't add the rest of the thought. I kiss every inch of her body once I have us both naked and she is a quivering mass of lust lying under me. I love the way she whimpers, the way she says my name.

Fuck I am so hard it hurts but I guess I'm teasing myself too, knowing the next three days is all I have with her and besides the bare essentials of life this is all we're going to be doing.

I have no idea how long I push the fore play but she is completely primed by the time I push into her, a combination of a hiss and a moan comes from me the feeling so sensual I feel it burn in every nerve hell even down to the soles of my feet.

She is saying my name like a mantra and I eat it up. I know her every sweet spot and it doesn't take me long to bring her to one rip tide release after another, with my cock, with my tongue, with my fingers, every fucking way possible. No other man will ever compare to me.

The thought of any other man touching her after me hurts to the pit of my gut and I thrust furiously in and out of her watching her eyes, she is completely sated but she holds out for me and when I feel the climax bubbling up I bite her neck and I don't stop wanting to leave my mark in more ways than one. One will fade but the other won't.

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The things this man does to me, no other man could possibly compare so after Dean I am so screwed because I don't think that I can even look at another guy let alone try to sleep with one.

He brings me to one earth tilting orgasm after another and he just keeps going. I don't know how he does it but God bless him.

I feel giddy and a heat all over my body when I feel him biting my neck, he wants me to be his and I will gladly be so even when he's gone.

The thought makes my heart ache and I already feel the pit in my stomach opening up.

He cries out my name and I feel him bury himself as deep as he can go and he makes the sweetest noises as he fills me with his release. I know that I don't have long with him and I want every second to be amazing.

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We have made love in every position in every room and done things to each other I had only fantasized about. I have never been so full of lust for one person ever.

I'm getting my fill because after Beau well there is no after Beau. The last night we sit on the beach again quiet. How do you start this conversation? The 'I'm leaving to go hunt but I'll come back when I can' conversation.

I can't expect her to just sit and wait for me; it's not fair to her because chances are that I may not be able too.

I try to speak and she hushes me with a kiss then says, "Don't Dean just don't."

It's amazing how when you really don't want to hurt someone that's all you seem to do.

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Dean and I have done things that I didn't know were possible and I am so satisfied. I never thought it possible to want someone so much, but there is no getting enough of Dean.

We sit on the beach staring at the water, he doesn't have to talk I know that he will be leaving soon and I don't want to hear it so when he starts to speak I hush him. I can't face it, I don't want to face it, and already my heart is in pieces.

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I open my eyes and in seconds I know that he is gone. He has left me and even though I knew that it was coming it hits me like a wrecking ball. The emptiness is instantaneous and I break into loud hysterical sobs. He's gone, my heart, my soul, my heaven, gone.

I didn't let him tell me good bye because I thought it would just be easier, I regret it now, how I wish I had his good bye to replay in my head along with all my memories of him. How can someone you have only known a couple of weeks take you so completely?

I cry until I am empty getting up from the bed only because I make myself hearing him telling me that he's sorry in my head. One of his over shirt lies across the end of my bed and it brings me to my knees and I hold it like a life line. I wish that he had just let me die.

I don't know how long it is before I finally make it to my kitchen and on the table is a pink camo duffle bag and a note.

The note says "If you've made it this far you're going to be fine, I will be there for you, you will be in my thoughts, in my dreams, and forever in my heart. Love, Dean."

I feel myself cracking, I have never felt so devastated but the contents of the duffle make me smile. It's my own weapons bag, gun, holy water, rock salt, other things and detailed instructions on protections.

It's all I have left of him.

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I have been driving for hours and my brother has not said more than ten words to me. I haven't seen him like this ever because even when our dad died he hid behind his humor and hunted like a mad man.

He has barely eaten and he just stares out the passenger window. I know that he hated to leave Beau but I think even he didn't believe it would hurt so much. I know better than to offer suggestions, he'll either explode at me or just bury himself deeper.

I don't like it one bit, the last thing we need if for him to make himself sick yet I'm helpless.

All he does is nod when I suggest that we get a motel while it's still daylight. I find a decent one and I check us in. I see him staring at his phone through the office window and I know that he wants to call her but he won't.

We walk into the room and he throws his stuff on the nearest bed.

I know I'm going to regret it but I say it anyway. "Dean why won't you let yourself be happy?"

I wait for the explosion but instead his green sad eyes fall on me. "I don't know how." He barely whispers. "I can't stop hunting, I just can't I would go crazy if every time that someone died and I could have done something about it."

"So for the rest of your life you're going to just be alone and miserable?"

This time he doesn't answer me he turns to his duffle and I know that he is going to find clothes and shower then go to some bar and drink himself senseless.

He opens his duffle and I jump to catch him when he gasps and falters back then his face is buried in my chest as he sobs uncontrollably. Dean is freaking the hell out of me because I have never ever seen him show so much emotion. I glance in his duffle and I hold him.

His over shirt the one that Beau had worn the first night they met lies neatly folded and that was all that it took to bring my unbreakable brother to his knees.

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I stand on the beach watching the sun go down holding the memory of the last time Dean held me close. Tears run down my cheek and I close my eyes listening to his beautiful voice in my mind.

I must be losing it more than I realized because I suddenly feel his arms around me and I don't want to move afraid it will disappear.

"So I guess you miss me too." I hear his voice in my ear and I spin around to face him, he's really there and I throw myself into his arms hugging him so tight as he lifts me off my feet.

"Dean are you trying to kill me?" I groan. "There is no way I can face you leaving again."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." He whispers.

I look into his eyes as he smiles grandly and I feel my heart swell. "You're taking me with you?" I barely push out.

"Well I can't stop hunting and I can't be without you so….." He offers with a shrug but I see in his eyes that is scared that I will say no.

I don't say anything I just take him by the hand and lead him to my car and open the trunk. He stands speechless staring at the contents and a single tear flows down his gorgeous cheek.

"Beau you…." He stammers.

"I was going after you I can't live like this I can't live without my heart."

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The second I see the over shirt in my duffle I knew that I had made the worst mistake of my life leaving Beau behind and I break falling into Sammy's arms not caring how weak it made me look. I need Beau as much as I need my lungs. But hunting I had to hunt until it was physically impossible or we actually got rid of everything evil and that is just wishful thinking.

Sam holds me and then I hear him say. "We could bring her with us Dean."

It all falls into place right then. He's right she can travel with us be our nurse and I can protect her and never have to be without her but then how fair is that to her to not have a steady home.

Sam does his mind reading thing. "When you love someone home is where ever you are together."

He's right and all I can do is try.

We stay at the motel to rest for the night and then we drive all day to make Kingston Beach by sunset. I run to the beach just knowing that she is there thinking about us and she is tears flowing from her closed eyes I hug her tight and she doesn't move at first she probably thinks she's losing her mind.

"So I guess you miss me too." I say so that she knows that I am really with her and her reaction is pure heaven to me. God I can't believe that I walked away from her.

She asks me if I'm trying to kill her by making her face my leaving again and I tell her I'm not going anywhere without her, the look on her face of pure shock makes me nervous.

"You're taking me with you?" She whispers.

"Well I can't stop hunting and I can't be without you so…." I smile the biggest sincerest smile I have.

She doesn't say a word just takes my hand and leads me to her car and opens the trunk and I am totally taken aback as I see the weapons duffle that I gave her and two others. I am speechless for a minute thinking that she was leaving because of me but then why would she take the pink duffle and then I get it.

"Beau you…." Is all I can manage.

"I was going after you because I can't live like this I can't live without my heart." She says.

I don't know what to say because most people run away from me not to me. So I pull her in and kiss her for a long time.

Sam clears his throat. "I don't know about you two but I'm starving." He says.

"I bet I know what diner you want to go too." I smile.

My not so little, little brother blushes and smiles and I love him so much right now for helping me get back to her.

"I could eat." Beau says beside me and I suddenly realize that I am very hungry myself.

"Alright then we go eat then spend the night in Kingston then tomorrow we hit the road." I say hugging Beau close to me.

"Sounds good to me." Sam says.

"Music to my ears." Beau laughs.

"Alright we have rules to talk about." I tell her as we head to the Impala. "No you won't hunt with us before you get any bright ideas."

"One wraith was plenty for me." She shudders.

I let Sam get ahead. "I get to make love to you all over the country."

"Now there is the hunt I'm after." She laughs again. I kiss her and then stare into her eyes.

The start of our lives is coming with the rising of tomorrow's sun and for the first time in a long time I feel complete.

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Thanks to all who read this story through, I'm not sure yet if there will be a sequel or not.