Ben grunted as he got up. Ughh, I've got the mother of all headaches. He quickly learned why as he looked at his mother bloodstained pillow. Uh oh, forgot my head was bleeding Ben thought to himself with a grimace. My mom's going to kill me when she finds the bloodstained sheets, hooray for our washer and dryer.

"Mmm Ben's muffins are the best" Derpy Hooves muttered in her sleep happily.

Ben chuckled gently as he stared at the sleeping mare, her smile covering the majority as she dreamed about his muffins. He poked her gently, hoping to wake her up and see if she wanted breakfast when to his surprise she grabbed him in a big hug, sniffing him with long sniffs.

"Hmm! Mr. Muffin you smell just like Ben. Mmm, I like Ben and I like you Mr. Muffin even more now" Ben just stared on as Derpy continued to hug him and sniff him. "I wonder if you TASTE like a muffin or Ben"

Ben gulped and quickly jabbed Derpy in her left wing hoping that would wake her before she found out what 'Mr. Muffin' tasted like. She grunted in her sleep. Then she pulled away from him, yawning and stretching her back out like a cat, her wings stretched out so they wouldn't feel sore.

Blinking her eyes open a couple times she caught sight of him and her smile turned into a wide grin. "Ben!" She shouted happily quickly and happily tackling him off the bed.

Ben grunted as he hit the floor, Derpy's happy tackle bringing a huge grin to his face. Having forgotten the bloodstained pillow sheet, and his headache having disappeared in a matter of seconds, he laughed and hugged Derpy tightly.

"Geez, Derpy! You act like you haven't seen me in a week!" Ben laughed as she looked a little pouty.

"It could've been a week! You never know" She laughed along with him. "You'll never guess what kind of dream I had Ben! I was following this giant muffin around! Bet you can't guess-" She was quickly cut off as Ben said "His name? I think it was Mr. Muffins"

Derpy gave Ben a very surprised look as she tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out how he had known. Ben watching this thought she looked sorta like a curious pup, super cute, and deep in thought. Finally coming to a conclusion, which Ben decided she must have come to, she said without a doubt in her mind.

"You were in my dream Ben! You were Mr. Muffin!" She had a very pleased look on her face as she came to this conclusion. Ben hated to break it to her, since she did seem to think this was exactly what happened, but better she knew the truth he decided.

"Derpy," He chuckled trying to think of the right way to put it. "You were talking in your sleep,the only reason i know is because of that. It was pretty funny too."

She giggled. "I didn't know I talked in my sleep" She didn't seem to be feeling bad even tho she was wrong. She even begain to laugh at it.

"Not only talked, but hugged me and you were just about to taste me if I hadn't woke you up." Ben laughed along with her.

"Ben?"

"Yes Derpy?"

"Can we have some muffins now? All this talk of muffins made me hungry." And as if to point out she wasn't lying her belly grumbled.

Ben couldn't help but burst out laughing as he nodded, and headed out the door, a very happy Derpy following shortly behind him, a grin on her face. Her thoughts were yay more muffins! Also yay more muffins made by Ben!

(After a quick batch of muffins are made)

"Thanks for the muffins!" Derpy said stuffing two muffins into her cheeks, making her look like a chipmunk, stuffing nuts away.

Ben nodded, doing his best not to laugh at the funny looking pegasus. Suddenly a loud strange noise was flooded thru the room, it was obviously farther in the house, perhaps a room or two away. Ben listened to it, trying to decipher what it could be. Then it hit him like a rock to the head, or hammer to a nail if you would, it was his phone, vibrating.

"Oh shit." Ben muttered, quickly jumping off the couch he and Derpy were sitting on. He didn't notice the wince Derpy gave when she heard the curse word, or else he would have apologized.

Ben quickly ran into the kitchen grabbing his cell phone off the counter. Quickly turning on the screen to his phone. (ok before I go any farther, Ben has a touch screen phone, with a flip out keyboard.) He unlocked it, putting in his four digit password and felt a sharp wave of fear and guilt run through him as he saw the 15 calls, 3 voicemails (he hadn't checked that quite yet), and easily 20 text messages his mother and father had sent him.

Quickly, he scrolled up to the last text message, which read: I hope your ok at least Ben, I know you may be just ignoring us cause we left on such quick notice, but at least anwser back and let us know your ok, haha your father said maybe you have got a girl over ;), haha...remember safety first, (Ben rolled his eyes,) and remember were always here for you. Love you Ben.

He checked the other messages and they were just ones asking how he was doing and etc. He quickly sent a message saying he had just fell asleep early playing video games and that everything was ok. He decided not to comment on the girl thing since Derpy WAS a girl, tho he didn't think his parents would be as much joking about him being with a girl that was another species, tho he didn't want to bring it up either. He was sure it wouldn't turn out well, too many qustions.

One of which went through his mind, why would he want a pony as a girlfriend? Doing his best to shake his mind of these thoughts, Ben was surprised when he heard Derpy.

"Ben is everything ok?" Derpy had came in, wondering what was so bad that he had to say such a nasty word. Remembering what happened to one of the other filly's who had said that in class. Remembering she had gotten taken out of class and in a lot of trouble with her parents.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just forgot to message my parents is all."

"Oh. Do you need me to mail the letter?" Derpy said, a determined look crossing her mind at the thought of helping with a letter, after all she is a mailpony.

"Well, I don't send letters to people usually Derpy" Ben said, frowning. She doesn't know about cell phones does she? Wait…does she know about TV's, computers, laptops or even regular home phones?

"Then how do you message them? Oh! Do you use a magic scroll? Twilight Sparkle can use a magic scroll!" Derpy said smiling as if she had found it out.

"No, it uh…you ever heard of a cell phone?" Ben asked frowning, hoping he wouldn't have to explain about technology to Derpy, while wondering what it is a pony used. Magic scroll? What is this a fantasy game?

"Umm…no, what's a phone? Or a cell? Or a cell phone?" Derpy gave Ben a very confused look, her head starting to hurt from trying to figure out what it is.

Ben sighed "Well…."

AUTHORS NOTES: sorry for cutting off so soon everypony, bronydudeshadow here with the next chapter of Derpy hooves? Sorry I've been gone for so long, I'm going to be updating all my stories ASAP, some with multiple chapters hopefully.

I made a self insert of Summon night story 2 or part of one.

Hope you will at least check it out.

Hmm…I have a couple billion more ideas for stories but here's a couple I want to put out there and hear what you say.

A self insert of me in equestria, which I will probably upload anyway.

A sonic/mlp crossover with Shadow the hedgehog as the main character, where he gets taken to equestria and turned into a pony, how…well you will just have to wait to find out

A somewhat more or less self insert horror with my good friend Unown

Just throwing those out there. Maybe somebody will say something?

Anyways brohoofs for all.