I heard some stories a while back from Shades about someone she used to talk to a lot. It gave me a really funny idea. :)

Crack ahead!

Takka-takka-takka-takka.

"Zack."

The sound of his fingers on the PHS was like tiny little bubbles being popped on bubble-wrap. Cloud couldn't take two more seconds of it.

Takka-takka...

"Zack for the love of Odin would you stop?"

"No. I am furious right now." Takka-takka-takka went the PHS keyboard.

"You're going to give yourself an ulcer."

"They have to know, Cloud."

"Going on the fanclub fanfiction-roleplay boards is a horrible idea, Zack."

The porcupine-headed man glanced at him over the top of his phone, brows knitted. "They have to know everything, Cloud. It's wrong. It's all wrong! It's... it's fucking blasphemy!"

"You don't even know what blasphemy means!"

Growling, Zack ignored him. "Genesis... is... six-foot-two... with the boots on... He is not... taller... than Sephiroth or Angeal. ...Get... your facts... straight."

Cloud rubbed at his face and strode away from the crates Zack had perched on, finding another spot to pace around and pretend to guard in Sector 8. Much as he loved with the guy visited him, he didn't want to deal with him when he was having one of his moments. Discovering "fandom" had gone right to his head, and a correctionist-perfectionist side of him emerged that was like some kind of untrained rabid behemoth that occasionally went gallivanting around in the streets with a thirst for blood. And by blood he meant fangirls. And not in that way.

"For that matter!" Zack continued to himself, tucking his legs under him at the fountain. "His eyes... are... blue. They used to be green, but they're not anymore! Get it right!" He then abruptly tossed the phone over his shoulder into the fountain and drew his arms about himself to pout angrily at nothing.

That's another 5000 gil, Cloud thought sarcastically.

"You know what's not fair, Cloud?"

"What?" he snapped, half-wanting to humor him but really not caring by this point.

"The roleplay positions for the big guys? Staff only!" He threw up his hands. "You know what that means?"

Cloud didn't care. "Nope."

"I can't play as myself because the position's taken! And whoever is doing it has no idea how I act! It's... it's...!" His speech dissolved into a series of garbled, angry noises. "Madness, Cloud! Utter madness!"

Cloud adjusted his helmet. "What's it matter what someone 'playing' you does when you are you? It's not like they're changing the universe by pretending." The logic must have stopped him cold, as Zack just stared blankly. "My point exactly."

...But Cloud never did tell him that he played Zack on that same forum.

And intentionally out-of-character to boot.