Yaoi: It's Evil!

"Alright. So who the fuck's been doing this?" Evan asked, his eyes narrowed as he looked over all the men in the room. All from Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve and Everymanhybrid.

"Yes, because obviously one of us would write humiliating stories in which all of us are homosexual or bisexual and engage in so many acts of sex it would make all the deities in all religions want to rip their organs out to hang themselves." Observer snarled.

"Well someone has to be responsible! I'm sick and tired of it! It's gross and... It's just gross! And don't get me started and the whole, Slenderman-tentacle-rape!"

Everyone in the room groaned, cried and gagged at the horrific mental image caused by M.H Alex. Something that they still had nightmares about.

"Look. We just have think logically. Who here would have the most to gain from this." Vince pointed out as Noah went to the nearest window to try and jump out of in an attempt to end his yaoi induced misery, only to be stopped by Jay and Jeff. Everyone else began to think it over. Who could gain from this? What sick monster could honestly enjoy this monstrosity? M.H Alex began to snarl.

"The people who aren't in this room."

"This is going to be so, awesome!" Claire sniggered as she drew another lemon manga that they would later photocopy and publish. It involved Evan and Naoh meeting up in a park at night and HABIT taking over and getting a dog leash on Noah before it really got dirty. With Rebecca writing the story and script and her drawing the manga, with the rest of the girls (Rachel and Stephanie) looked over the manga and handled get them distributed and sold, nothing would stop them getting rich!

"Totally!" Rebecca grinned, wickedly already writing the next script. Jay and Tim in the shower with Jay as the seme! It would definitely be unique considering it was usually Tim who would wear the pants in some of their yaoi relationships.

Then the door knocked and all the girls froze. It couldn't have been the Chinese place they ordered from. They just got their food ten minutes ago. Hesitant, Rachel stood up and went to the door before looking through the keyhole. A frightened look appeared on her face and she turned to the girls and mouthed,

"It's the boys! They've found out!"

"We know you're in there! Just give up the yaoi so we can burn it!" Noah's voice could be heard yelling. Rachel swallowed before putting on a fake, and somewhat offensive, Spanish accent.

"Who is it?"

"That's not important, we need to get in!"

"No one here."

"Then who the hell are you?" Evan could be heard as the rest of the girls quickly grabbed their work and went out through the window of the apartment and down the fire escape to the car.

"House keeping."

"Then let us in!"

"No, Mr and Mrs Carlson no want me to let anyone in."

"You think we're going to fall for that?"

"No one come in."

"Rachel. We know that's you." Rachel's heart and stomach felt like dropping straight out of her after hearing Noah's words. Swallowing nervously she looked back to the girls and thankfully, Claire had grabbed the last box and was just going out the window.

"We're coming in!" Something heavy began to hit at the door and Rachel took her clue to jump out of the window, just as the door came down. Vince, Evan, Noah and Tim were carrying a battering ram with M.H Alex tied to it.

"OW! Why did I have to be tied to this thing?!" Alex demanded as he glared at all the men. God, he wished he had his gun again. He named it Miss Stacy.

"Shut up." Jay told him simply before giving him a slap like a stereotypical sassy gay man. This was while Evan ran to the window to see the girls getting into their getaway car.

"Their trying to run!"

"After them!"

The boys were fortunate that the car couldn't start right away. This was because the moment they got back outside, they could see the car finally start working and drive past them.

"Get 'em Evan!" Jeff yelled as he pointed towards the car dramatically. Evan gave a barking sound before he began to run after the car on foot. Obviously.

"Why? Why did you... He... We could have taken the Observer-mobile." The Observer didn't want to show it, but his feelings were hurt because they didn't want to go into his super-mega-awesome car. With cup-holders!

"It smells like dead people. Worser than Evan's does." Vince told him. The Observer sniffed, trying to hide his sadness. So because of this, everyone got into Jay's car. However, there was only so much room. So after a battle of wits, Tim ended up driving with Jay next to him. Noah, Vince and Jeff were in the back while M.H Alex, E.M.H Alex (who appeared out of a time/space warp hole) and the Observer were holding onto the roof. Making their way through the streets at high speed due to Tim learning to drive from playing Grand Theft Auto, they soon caught up to the girls. Evan was still after them surprisingly and was close. Then, Evan took a jump and bit onto the bumper of the car and let it drag him down the streets.

"How the hell is he doing that?" Vince wondered out loud, but no one cared enough to answer. With the girls meanwhile...

"Damn it, it's just yaoi for crying out loud!" Claire through her hands up. "I mean, guys have lesbians. Why can't we have this?"

"Because their sensitive and stupid." Rachel grumbled.

"Evan's still not letting go." Stephanie told them as she looked out the back window. She didn't know whether to be impressed or disturbed.

Yep. What a true sight it must have been. Girls speeding down in a car with yaoi manga while a boy clung to their car with his teeth as another car drove behind them with people on the roof.

Only in America.

"Hold on, I've an idea." Rebecca, who was driving, then decided to try and imitate a scene she had seen on a car chase show to try and loose the boys. It failed, but after a quick turn Evan was flung off the car and hit a lamp post which for no reason whatsoever exploded on contact with Evan.

"... Well that was weird." Noah noted, not giving a particular fuck right then and there as they sped past the fire.

The speed chase went on and on and on and (fast foreword 50 on's) and on. But the girls came towards a bridge! A bridge! A mother fucking bridge! Not just any mother fucking bridge! It was a mother fucking drawbridge! Gaze at it's awesomeness as it rises up just as the girls are driving up it.

"NO YOU CRAZY BITCHES!" Observer's jaw had dropped when he saw what they were doing. But the boys could do nothing but stop their car as the girls continued driving. Evan who miraculously survived the explosion casually walked up to them and watched the girls as well.

I bet you expected that the girls fell off the drawbridge or got to the other side.

NOPE!

Instead, as the raising bridge got higher and higher, parts of the car fell off until all there was, was a giant flying white horses with turbo wings with jets in it's hooves! All the girls were on it's back and laughed as the flew off into the distance. Holding their boxes of yaoi and flying to a convention to distribute their yaoi for cash!

All the boys could only stare, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Maybe there was still time? Maybe they could still stop the girls somehow.

That's when a magazine flew right by them. Just enough for them to see the title.

Destined to Be!

A Noah and Jay story with a jealous Observer watching!

There was a list of things that would be involved in the story. Things that can not be mentioned here. Things that would make a priest pull his eyes out for just hearing the title alone. It was clear who would wear the pants and who would be the whiny submissive. As usual.

*Cough*Jay*Cough*