Three Years Later

"Masen, you get your little butt back here!"

My voice echoed through the maze of trees and brush, ricocheting over the water.

I could hear him giggle, which told me exactly where he was hiding, but I made a big production of hunting around for him.

This was his favorite game; hide and seek and run from the gators.

He thought it was hilarious.

My balls were tingling in fear just thinking about those monsters getting close to us.

"Masen, momma said if we weren't home for supper she was gonna feed yours to Jake," I threatened. "And you know how much Jake likes roadkill stew."

The little shit came running out of his hiding spot and right into my arms.

"Come on, dada. I don't want Jake ta eat ma stew," he announced, his eyes narrowing at even the thought of our mutt eating his food.

As I walked back to the house with Mase in my arms, listening to his little rambling voice, I tried to imagine a better life.

I couldn't.

"Next time I haz to have a sitter, can it be Auntie Allycat and Unca Jazz? Auntie Rose aways reads me books bouts being a 'proper gentleman' and 'no means no'," Masen whispered sleepily into my neck.

Fucking Rose and her 'raise little boys to be good men' attitude.

"Sure, buddy," I assured him, running my fingers through his wild hair.

Walking into our house, my stomach grumbled as the scent of our dinner wafted over me.

I was glad Bella never took to Esme's way of cooking and we were having chili for dinner and not really roadkill stew.

But we'd discovered it was easier to get Mase to eat something called roadkill stew than chili any day.

"Where's my love?" I called as I set Masen down on his feet so he could wash his hands.

"Aw momma, no kisses!" he squealed as he attempted to avoid her.

"I'll take his kisses," I cooed, pulling her into my arms as soon as she was close enough.

"You know I've got enough kisses for the both of you," Bella teased, pressing her lips to mine in a delicate caress.

"Well, I have to get ready to share my kisses with this one, now don't I?" I sighed, my hand pressing against her slightly swollen belly.

Kid number two was in the oven and cooking away.

My sperm was covered in Miracle Grow, I swear. o~ o~

"I'll always have enough love to go around," she said with a smile, making my heart overflow with love for her and our kids.

When a loud knock sounded on the door behind me, I growled low in my chest, making Bella giggle.

"Go away!" I shouted, but the visitor refused to be ignored, their knock sounding again.

I released Bella and stalked over to the door, swinging it open wide.

"What?!" I barked, ignoring the way the young girl standing in the doorway startled.

"Um, I'm looking for Edward Cullen," she mumbled, pushing her thick, dishwater-brown hair behind her ear.

"Well, you got him. Wass up?" I drawled, knowing it was unfair to use my dazzling charm on this poor, unsuspecting girl, but unable to help myself.

"I'm one of the attorneys working with the FDA in the case against Volturi Pharmaceuticals. Both the criminal and civil cases have finally wrapped up and I'm here to award you your part of the settlement," she rambled, digging into the massive bag on her shoulder and pulling out an envelope with a flourish.

I took the envelope carefully, like it might contain a venomous snake or something.

Underneath all my manly bravado, I was really just a giant pussy.

As I looked at the paper in my hand, I didn't notice the torn envelope had fluttered to the ground.

I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until my vision dimmed.

And I couldn't understand how it was possible I was holding a check for seventeen million dollars.

"After we recognized the lengths you and Mrs. Cullen went to to bring the deplorable behavior of Volturi Pharmaceuticals to light, we decided you needed to be properly rewarded," she preened, my silence and dumbass behavior boosting her confidence.

"Holy shit," I rasped, feeling my knees start to wobble.

The ground seemed to tremble beneath me and I felt the attorney's hands on my chest as she tried to steady me.

The next sound I heard had me spinning around, my balance magically restored.

It's hard to not be scared straight by the cock of a shotgun.

"Get your fuckin' hands off my man."

"Bella, put the damn shotgun down. This woman has just made us millionaires. How 'bout you slow your roll," I snapped, grabbing for the gun.

"I already told you, I refuse to go on that stupid reality show," she said quietly, elbowing me in the gut.

"This is part of the settlement from Volturi. Now smile pretty and say thank you to the nice lady," I growled, reaching out and tweaking her nipples.

"Thank you for making us filthy rich. But if you touch my man again, I'll cut a bitch," she said, sugary sweet.

I sighed as I realized that was probably as good as I was going to get from Bella and escorted the attorney off the porch.

"Thank you very much," I said, making sure to keep my distance from her as we walked.

Just as she opened her mouth to reply, Jake came bombing out of the trees, a gator hot on his heels.

The ragged mutt, seeking protection, dove behind the lawyer's legs, knocking her off-balance.

It was a comedy of errors after that as she careened into me, sending me flying to my ass with her landing on top of me.

Jake pissed himself as he cowered behind our prone forms, eying the quickly approaching gator.

I tried to scramble to my feet, hoping I would be able to defend us against the reptile, but the booming sound of a gunshot startled the creature away.

Lawyer-girl relaxed against me, the rush having taking most of her strength from her.

I looked up as the bright sunshine was blocked by someone standing above me and found Bella leaning down, the shotgun back in her more than capable hands.

"I warned ya, bitch," she whispered as she brought the gun up.

Only in Alabama...

The End!

So the Cullen family was joined by a little girl a few months later they named Daisy. They lived in the Southern version of the lap of luxury, with their friends all close by.

I'm so happy that my last drabble was so reader-input driven. Seriously...your stories and anecdotes really made this better. I loved reading each and every one of your comments and wish I had more time to reply.

I'm finishing up the last two chapters of Derby. The last regular chapter of Fatty will post tonight.

And then...that's it for Kitkat.

I'm not pulling to publish, so don't worry about running to download stuff. Although I do have copies of most of my fics in pdf form on my blog.

kitkat681 . blogspot . com

IF *and that's a huge IF* I publish I will not be advertising it. I have really pathetic dreams because I know I will never see Paris or London or live in a little town in Maine and own a soap business, like I'd love to, so I dream small dreams like publishing some smut kindle books for a dollar and having a few of them sell.

I love you...each and every one of you. Don't doubt me on that or say I can't love you because I don't know you. I know you.

And I love you.