AN: Just fixing all of the mistakes, so don't mind me...

Manuals belong to 0ptimuspenguin, which is formerly est. 1995, which is formerly Lollidictator.

It was just another beautiful day at home. The sun was shining brightly, the air was crisp and fresh, and the temperature was just right; not too cold, not too hot. It was the perfect day and anyone who's anybody would be scrambling to get outside. Well, except for me.

I was currently on the computer, furiously typing away on a Microsoft Word document in my hot and stuffy office in my attic. It was Friday afternoon, and I was supposed to be hanging out with my friends on campus, but because I just had to take an AP Biology course, I was stuck inside hurriedly finishing my report that was due the next day. I'll be honest; I thought the class was going to be fun, but my professor turned out to be a real jerk. Not only did he hate his job, to which I wonder why he's teaching the class in the first place, but he also hates all of his students, and I'm no exception. So, because he was a bitter old man and only wanted to make things harder for us and himself, he made us type up a minimum ten page report on what we learned so far this year, which was a lot. So far I was already on page twelve and wasn't even halfway through with the material we've been taught. I sighed and looked at the blinking line on the document. My guess was that I'd be here for the rest of the night.

I eventually became too bored to continue and saved my progress before opening Internet Explorer and browsing some fanfiction. Yes, I read fanfiction, but only in my spare time. Technically, I should be working on my report right now, but I had been working on it all day and desperately needed a break. I don't write fanfiction though, because I never have time to and plus, I just don't feel like it. I'm too lazy to actually write it. So, anyway, as I was looking through fanfiction, an ad suddenly popped up.

"LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS TO TRY OUT OUR NEW HETALIA UNITS. FIRST TWO UNITS ARE FREE! GET YOUR HETALIA UNIT TODAY!"

"Unit, what the heck is that?" I mumbled to myself. I knew what Hetalia was, after all, it was probably my favorite anime of all time, but I had no idea what a "Unit" was. Sounded like some robot. I hesitated and slowly moved my mouse to the close button. A Unit sounded cool, but I still had no idea what it was. Was it some kind of butler robot thing? Or did it just keep you company? Hm, if it was some kind of companion, then I could use one. I lived alone ever since my parents retired and moved to their dream house in Arizona. They let me keep the house because it was close to where I was going to college, so I paid the bills, kept it clean, all that stuff. It was fairly small, but I was still lonely either way, so a bit of company would be good.

I moved the mouse over the ad, which had a picture of Flying Mint Bunny, and clicked on it. Immediately, a box of text appeared. It read:

"Thank you for volunteering for Flying Mint Bunny Inc.'s free Hetalia Unit trial! We guarantee 100% satisfaction with our products and hope you will continue to buy Units once your trial has ended. Please fill out your information below:"

The text box disappeared and a bunch of places to enter my information about where I lived and such and such came up. I filled out all of my info and clicked the "SEND" button. Another window appeared, this one with a question and two choices.

What would you like your first free Unit to be?

Full sized

Chibi

"Oh, I didn't know I had a choice," I muttered. I clicked on "chibi"; maybe I would get Chibitalia or Chibi Romano or something cool like that. I clicked send and an animation of Flying Mint Bunny sparkling and flying away played. A catchy jingle sounded and one last box came up.

"Thank you for your order! Your first Unit will arrive in two to three business days. We hope you enjoy your Unit and continue to purchase more once your trial has ended. Thank you for choosing Flying Mint Bunny Inc. for your Unit provider!"

The window closed and the ad disappeared from the page, being replaced with something else. I shrugged and turned back to the fanfiction I was reading, not really thinking about what I just did. I read for a few minutes before realizing that I was wasting time, so I closed the window and brought my essay back up. Sighing, I continued to type, and in the back of my mind, I somewhat dreaded what would happen when my Unit showed up. I had never even heard of a "Unit" until today so I had no idea what to expect. I was even stupid enough to order one out of the blue! But then again, they were free, so did it really matter? I shook the thought away and turned my attention back to my report. I needed to get this done, so throwing all of my energy into it, I stayed at the computer and typed away into the wee hours of the next morning.

It was now Monday evening. I had ordered my "Unit" on Friday and it still hadn't arrived. Since Friday it had been three days, the maximum amount of time Flying Mint Bunny Inc. said it would take to ship my Unit. I shrugged and changed the channel on the TV. Classes were done for the day, so I was just chilling at home until my Unit arrived. I was excited to see which one I got since I had ordered a chibi. It never gave me an option as to which particular character I wanted, but I figured getting a chibi would be a safer bet because then they wouldn't be that much work. Of course, I never had any experience with Units before so I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into, but nevertheless, I hoped for the best.

As I was about to get up to get a snack from the kitchen, the doorbell rang and startled me. I let out a yelp and fell back on the couch, but immediately leaped back up. Was this my Unit? Was it really finally here? A squeal of joy escaped my lips and I bounded up to the front door, wrenching it open. A man just a little taller than me with glasses resting on his nose and brown hair sticking out from underneath a green cap stood with a life sized box on a roller next to him. He had a bright smile on his face and he looked at me through shining brown eyes.

"G'day mate!" he said. I blinked and reeled back a bit. I didn't even know there were an Australians in my town.

"Uh, hello." I said. The man wheeled the box in and set it down next to me, handing me a clipboard where I signed my name on the line. "Um, I ordered a chibi, not full sized." I pointed out.

The man smiled. "I know, but every Unit comes in this kind of box." He handed me a rather thick manual after I gave the clipboard back to him. "Here, I took the liberty of getting you a manual in English because I doubt you speak French."

What? I took the manual and opened it and sure enough, it was in English. Why would they give me a manual in French? Oh God, they didn't give me a France Unit, did they? I turned to the man and raised an eyebrow. What did he know about me anyway? We just met. "Um, thank you? I don't speak French at all, so uh, why would they send me a French manual?"

"It's just a random choice, sorry 'bout that. If you start to have any language problems, give us a call," he handed me a business card with Flying Mint Bunny on it, "Although, I'd do it soon before you get too attached."

"Huh? Language problems? What are you-" Before I could ask any more questions, the man tipped his hat in departure and left the house, heading back to his green delivery truck parked in my driveway that also had a picture of Flying Mint Bunny on it. He backed out of the driveway and waved, then sped down the street and was gone.

I closed the door and shrugged. Who cared about the guy anyway; I'd probably never even see him again. Although, in my opinion, he was pretty cute… Whoa, get that thought out of your head, Lily! You have a boyfriend for God's sake! It was probably just the accent. Yeah, just blame the accent. That always works, right?

Anyway, getting off track here; I turned to the box and eyed it suspiciously. If I got a France Unit I swear I'm sending it back right away. I don't want some mini-rapist running around my house! Turning back to the manual, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the name on the cover that I hadn't seen before.

MATTHEW WILLIAMS: User Guide and Manual

"Aw, I got Canada!" I squealed. I hurried through the manual until I got to the section telling me how to "wake up" my Unit.

Removal of your MATTHEW WILLIAMS from Packaging:

MATTHEW WILLIAMS is one of our kindest, most stable units, but anyone can have a bad morning! We urge you to take extreme caution when trying to reprogram or unpack him; to avoid any unfortunate injuries, we have compiled a list of ways to wake your unit up.

1. Play the Canadian anthem, or speak any dialect of French loudly by the box. He will wake happily, and after you insist that you can see him, he will be so ecstatic that you can reprogram him directly.

2. Cook French or Canadian food (poutine is a suggestion). While he eats, you can reprogram him.

3. For more modern musics. If you blare American pop music, MATTHEW WILLIAMS will shout for ALFRED F. JONES to turn down that horrible screeching (especially if the singer in question is Miley Cyrus), and he will be a bit grumpy when he gets up; you can also play Justin Bieber, to which MATTHEW WILLIAMS will apologize profusely as you reprogram him; a third pop option is to play Lady Gaga, to which MATTHEW WILLIAMS will insist that they are not dating.

4. Turn on an ice hockey game and put the volume loud enough for you to hear it down the street - which is where MATTHEW WILLIAMS' box should preferably be, to avoid any injuries caused by the box breaking open as MATTHEW WILLIAMS dashes to watch the game.

5. Start your KUMAJIROU unit up. MATTHEW WILLIAMS will get up immediately.

The third suggestion made me laugh. After wiping the tears from my eyes, I finally decided to go with the first one. Since I didn't know any French whatsoever, I would just blast his national anthem. I took out my iPod and went to the YouTube app, then searched for O Canada and turned my volume up all the way. As soon as it started playing, the box shifted and a small, high pitched voice came from within it. It sounded like humming, but I didn't really know. As the song still played and the humming continued, I cautiously reached out to the lid of the box. I undid a few latches and lifted the top off, peering inside.

Inside, sitting at the bottom of the box and humming softly to himself, was a boy that looked like a chibi straight from an anime in a winter coat that was at least twenty sizes too big. Beside him was a white ball of fur that suddenly moved and nudged the boy's hand. The boy stopped singing and smiled, then petted the ball of fur and when he realized the top of the box was off, he looked up at me with almost violet eyes behind wire rimmed glasses.

I almost died from cuteness overload.

Squealing and smiling so wide it didn't look natural, I reached into the box and carefully pulled out Canada and the ball of fur. The ball of fur turned out to be the cub form of Kumajirou and he sniffed my hand curiously. I tried to contain my squeals because of the cuteness, but a few escaped my throat anyway. I walked into the living room and put Kumajirou down on the couch and sat down next to him with Canada in my lap. He looked at me with wide eyes as I proceeded to probe him and squeeze his cheeks and arms. This was amazing! He felt like a real human being, not some robot with fake skin. Wow, it was crazy what scientists could do to robots these days.

A growl like noise came from below me and I looked to Kumajirou, but he was already fast asleep and curled up by a pillow. I checked my stomach; was that me? Nah, I didn't feel any rumbling. I looked to Chibi Canada and raised my eyebrows. "Was that you?" I asked. He looked away shyly.

"J'ai faim." he mumbled. I blinked and looked at him like he had three heads.

"What?"

"J'ai faim!" he repeated a little louder. I scratched my head and reached for the manual he came with. I flipped open to the troubleshooting section and my eyes widened at the first thing that was there.

Troubleshooting

Problem: You opened your box and found, instead of a regular MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit, a tiny little thing who speaks only in French. The KUMAJIROU unit is also cub-sized.

Solution: Whoopsie! We've done gone and sent you a MATHIEU BONNEFOIS unit - basically the younger version of MATTHEW WILLIAMS, when he still lived with FRANCIS BONNEFOIS. If you don't want this smaller version, just ship him right back and we'll send you a MATTHEW WILLIAMS instead.

I face palmed.

He only speaks French? How am I supposed to understand anything he's saying? I didn't know anything about the language! Well, except for "Bonjour" and "Au revoir", but everybody knows that, right? Wait, is that why that delivery guy said he got me a manual in English, why he mentioned language problems? Good God, what am I supposed to do? How am I going to-

Chibi Canada brought me out of my lapse of internal agony by tugging at my arm. I looked down and he had a pained expression on his face.

"J'ai faim!" he yelled softly (Wow, oxymoron much?) and he pointed and rubbed his stomach for emphasis.

"Oh, you're hungry? Sorry, little dude, but I don't speak French. Uh, what do you want?"

"J'ai faim!"

"I know that, but you need to tell me what you want." I pointed to my stomach and shrugged my shoulders, trying to tell him that I wanted to know what he wanted to eat. He seemed to understand, because he pointed into the kitchen and jumped off of my lap and onto the floor.

"Crêpes! Je veux les crêpes!" he shrieked. He ran into the kitchen and pointed to the cupboard that I kept pancake flour in. I walked over and took it out, eyeing him suspiciously as I set the box down on the counter. He jumped up and down, trying to reach the box but failing miserably considering he was barely tall enough to reach the middle of the cupboard door down near the floor. I picked him up with ease and set him on the counter next to the box. He hugged it tightly and looked up at me with a smile on his face.

"You want pancakes?" I asked. "And how did you know I had pancake flour in that specific cupboard anyway?" Chibi Canada shrugged and handed me the box of flour. I sighed and took it from him and got out everything I needed to make some pancakes. I made the pancakes quickly and kind of sloppily because Chibi Canada's stomach kept growling and he looked on the verge of tears. As soon as the first batch was finished, I put them on a plate and put them in front of Canada who was still sitting on the counter. His face lit up when he saw them, but then he shoved the plate away. "What? What's wrong?" I asked, bewildered. How could he not want pancakes? And I just busted my butt to make them for him!

"Avec le sirop d'érable, bien sûr!"

I blinked. "What?"

"Le sirop d'érable." he said slowly. "Je le veux sur mes crêpes."

"Listen, I'm sorry little dude, but I don't understand a word of what you're saying. Don't you know English?" Who am I kidding? If the manual said he would only speak French, then there was no way he would know English. Seriously, I must be really stupid today.

"Le sirop d'érable!" Chibi Canada cried. He jumped down from the kitchen counter and opened my fridge, appearing a few moments later with a bottle of maple syrup in his hands. He lifted his arms up to me and after I finished gaping at how cute he looked I picked him up and set him back down on the counter. Canada pointed to the maple syrup. "Le sirop d'érable." he said as he poured it on his pancakes.

"Oh, maple syrup. Okay. I got it." I made a mental note to write all of this stuff down later, but right now I was too busy watching Chibi Canada eat his pancakes that were twice the size of his head. It was so cute I could've cried, but luckily I wasn't that dramatic, so I just watched as he shoved the pancakes down his throat while smiling widely and making "Mmm" noises. It was so cute, I swear I could've died. Why did he have to be so adorable? Curse Flying Mint Bunny Inc. for making something so ridiculously amazing. Actually, I shouldn't say that! If they never existed then I never would've been able to get this-as Prussia would say- awesome Unit thing that just so happened to look and feel exactly like a human. I mean seriously, how did the company do that? Not only did Canada look exactly like he did from the anime, but he looked, felt, and acted like a human. That was so cool! Where could Flying Mint Bunny Inc. have possibly gotten the technology to do that? I know I've never heard of any "Units" before, maybe it was a new technology that they were testing out? That would explain why my first two Hetalia Units are free. Hm, I wonder which one I might get next! I think for my second Unit I'll get one that's life sized. Just to experience what it's like, that's all. Although, there's also the possibility that I could-

"Je suis fatigué!"

I was snapped out of my rambling immediately. I looked over to Chibi Canada who was yawning and rubbing at his eyes. He looked at me tiredly and yawned again, reaching for my hand. He tugged it weakly and his head drooped, his glasses sliding off of his nose and clattering on the granite countertop. I looked over to the clock on the wall and my eyes widened. It was already eleven o'clock; no wonder the poor boy was tired! I didn't even know it was that late, it never registered to me at all. Fighting off a yawn myself, I put Canada's glasses back on his nose and picked him up. I pulled of his ridiculous coat and threw it on the couch and before I forgot, I picked up Kumajirou (who was still asleep, by the way) and headed up the stairs. Now that I could actually feel Chibi Canada's arms, I noticed they were as soft as a baby's skin, maybe even more so. His hair was silky too. Everything about him was just so cute…

As I opened the door to my decently sized room, Chibi Canada wiggled around in my arms. I put down Kumajirou who woke up then and walked around sniffing my bed and brought Canada up to my face. "Hey little dude, are you ready to go to bed?" I asked quietly.

"…bain," he muttered.

I sighed. "Once again, little dude, I don't understand French."

"Je veux prendre un bain." He pointed to the bathroom. "Maintenant."

"What's that? You need to go to the bathroom? Well, I was going to take a bath before I went to bed, so you can use a different bathroom while I'm washing up." Either I would have to learn French or Chibi Canada would have to learn English. What was happening right now could not happen for however long I had my Unit. We needed to get over this language barrier. NOW.

Chibi Canada was awake when he heard the word bath. He jumped from my arms and took off for the bathroom across the hall from my room. I ran after him, yelling (even though I knew he couldn't understand it), and walked in on him undressing while the tub filled up with hot water. I immediately covered my eyes but when Chibi Canada motioned for me to join him in the tub, I hesitantly uncovered them.

"Entrez!" he said shyly, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "L'eau est chaude."

"Little dude, there's no way I'm getting in the tub with you." I took out my manual that for some reason I was still holding. I don't even remember picking it up after looking at the troubleshooting; apparently I'm just really forgetful of things. I looked down at the manual and cracked it open. I flipped to the care section and looked under cleaning, a little reluctant to enter the tub after reading what was there.

Cleaning

Your MATTHEW WILLIAMS can clean himself perfectly fine, and doesn't mind if you bathe with him.

"Seriously?" I mumbled to myself. I looked back over to Canada in the tub, only to see it overflowing with bubbles. Canada's head popped out of the mass and he had a huge smile on his face, one so big that I couldn't refuse. "Oh, fine. But turn around! You shouldn't be seeing any of this." I closed the door and locked it firmly, then began to undress. This felt so awkward for me, but then again, Chibi Canada was just a robot, right? Even though he looked like a human, he wasn't an actual human, so I had nothing to worry about. Besides, he's got the appearance of a toddler, and what parent doesn't bathe with their kid at least once? Wait…who said I was a parent? Flying Mint Bunny Inc. didn't expect me to raise him, did they?

"Venez-vous?" Chibi Canada asked. I turned around, my breasts covered, and smiled awkwardly as I stepped into the tub. Thank God he put bubbles in there. As soon as I sat down, he jumped onto my chest. I yelped and tried backing away, but I was already as far back in the tub as I could go. I guess I should have expected this, I mean, he did grow up with France, and it even said in the manual that this was when he was still living with him. Living with that pervert must've left some kind of mark on him.

I hurriedly washed myself and rinsed off and got dressed. Canada insisted on staying in the tub, so I figured I might as well wash him while I waited for my hair to dry. I scrubbed him well and shampooed his hair, then drained the tub and rinsed him with the shower head, avoiding looking between his legs the whole time. I lifted him out of the tub quickly and wrapped a towel around him, then began to blow dry my hair. Once mine was at least half dry, I blow dried Canada's short hair and dressed him in one of the oversized sweatshirts with a maple leaf on it that came with him. When we were all dried and Canada was half asleep in my arms, I shut off the light and headed back to my bedroom.

I laid Chibi Canada down on the bed and got under my covers, pulling him under them as soon as I was in a comfy position. He snuggled up close into my side and immediately fell asleep. I smiled and shut off the light and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander off. Today was a hectic day, that's for sure. Somehow Chibi Canada and I would have to overcome this language barrier and get to know each other better. I had yet to check my email to order my second free Unit, but that could wait until tomorrow after school. Oh crap, that's right! I had school tomorrow! What was I supposed to do with Canada? I couldn't just leave him at home, he was a toddler!

I sighed and put an arm around Chibi Canada. I could think about that stuff tomorrow. What's done is done and now all I can do is hope for the best. I closed my eyes and exhaled, willing my problems to go with it. In a few minutes, my consciousness was slipping and I was asleep.

"Bonne nuit," Chibi Canada's voice just barely made it to my ears. Maybe because he was whispering or because I was practically asleep, but then again, Canada whispered all the time. I smiled and hugged him tighter to me.

I didn't know what he said, but I think it was something along the lines of "Good night."

AN: So yeah. I hope I fixed everything. If not...oh well. I really don't feel like going through it again.

Mei-Ling out. Peace! :3