Note to user: This product works best when mixed with one part fanboy/girl, two parts hyperness, and the original song. (A.k.a, this is a lot cooler if you listen to the song when you read it.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice by John Flanagan nor "Call Me, Maybe," by Carly Rae Jepsen. This is purely for fun and I make no profit off of it.

UPDATE:VIEW "So Call Me Gilan" HERE:

www. youtube watch?v= qs9lw OjGw 4Q& feature = plcp

MINUS THE SPACES. PLEASE WATCH IT. IT'S AWESOME. NOT GONNA LIE.

Other Update: Thank you to the lovely Maddelynn Sky Treaty for suggesting I change "missed you so bad" to "feared you so bad". Thanks for the brilliant idea!

I'm pretty tall and a guy

Don't ask me, I don't know why

I have been told I'm quite sly

And not the least bit shy

I'd trade my sword for a cloak

Don't say my dream is a joke!

They are mysterious folk,

That's what I'll be someday!

Your glare was holdin'

Strange bow, knife was showin'

Hot night, wind was blowin'

Your weird cloak was flowin', Ranger!

Hey, I just met you!

I'm your apprentice!

I'm super nervous…

This is so momentous!

It's hard to look right

At your glaring!

I'm working hard!

Are you even caring?

Hey, I just met you,

And you are crazy!

You want some coffee?

With HONEY, maybe?

And all the farmfolk…

They all fear me.

But here's my smile!

So serve me, maybe?

You gave me knives and a bow,

I shot some awesome arrows,

My face is always aglow.

There's so much I must know!

I beg, and borrow and steal;

Play dressup and it's real!

I didn't know I would feel it,

But I love Rangers!

Your eyes were glinting.

Gathering, horses sprinting.

Your face, it's not hinting,

Where you think you're going, Ranger?

Hey, I just met Will,

And he's stupendous!

We're now best buddies!

So tremendous!

It's hard to look right

At your mocking.

I made a mistake.

Guess it's not shocking…

Hey, we just got here,

And this is creepy!

Hunt some Kalkara,

And don't die, maybe?

And all the farmfolk,

They all fear me.

I'm not a wizard!

So serve me, maybe?

Before you came into my life,

I feared you so bad

I feared you so bad

I feared you so, so bad

Before you came into my life

I feared you so bad

And you should know that

I feared you so, so bad

I'm glad to look right

At your smile.

You say you're proud

Have been for a while

Hey, you have trained me.

And I'm a Ranger.

I've got my oakleaf;

Saving those in danger.

And all the farmfolk,

They all love me!

And here's my oakleaf,

Free service, baby!

Before you came into my life,

I feared you so bad

I feared you so bad

I feared you so, so bad

Before you came into my life

I feared you so bad

And you should know that

I feared you so, so bad

So call me Gilan!

I had loads of fun writing this. Any requests for the next song? Nothing by Justin Bieber, and preferably no rap. That would be a disaster to try and come up with all those rhymes….