Holly Short glowered at the zucchini sitting innocently in front of her.

"Men," she hissed, positively frying the poor vegetable with her venomous glare.

Recently, it had seemed like all the males in her life had unanimously decided to make things as hard as they could for her. From ignored calls (three guesses who that was) to overloaded paperwork (take another three guesses, if you will), they were absolutely driving her crazy.

Let's start with the first and foremost: Artemis Fowl.

One day they had been perfectly buddy-buddy. You know, sitting in his study, chatting amiably like any other good friends would do. In Juliet's words, they seemed to be "not far away from giggling like teenage girls." Holly interpreted that as their relationship was sailing smoothly.

Or at least that's what she thought.

The day after, Holly had called Artemis. He picked up after the third ring, which was highly unusual. Usually he picked up immediately, eager to hear from her. He was grumpy and a scowl was fixed upon his face. He gave her terse, one-word answers and hung up as soon as he could.

Well then, Holly had thought afterwards, rolling her eyes, Pubescent mood swings.

She called him again the next day and he didn't even bother to pick up. That alone was enough to set Holly in such a bad mood that she was provoked by the simplest comment.

If that wasn't enough, Trouble had decided that he would call in sick that very same day. Which, of course, would all have been fine if he had not carefully instructed for his paperwork load to be dumped on Holly.

Holly had a mental list of all the things she hates in her life and, unfortunately, paperwork ranked pretty high up there.

And when she called Trouble to yell at him, he didn't even sound the least bit sick. In fact, he sounded smug.

Smug.

The absolute nerve of some people.

So her temper was fraying visibly, and Foaly just had to trot in wearing a smirk. Holly was immediately suspicious. She double-checked her list of Common Pranks that Foaly Likes To Pull.

No skirt randomly appearing out of nowhere. Check.

No unusual activity in her email account. Check.

No international catastrophe. Check.

"Yes, what?" she snapped, "I'm busy. Make it quick."

"Ah, Captain," Foaly drawled, nibbling at a carrot stick. "Why the the short temper this lovely morn?" Then he slapped his knee, giggling at his lame joke. He took another large bite of his carrot.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Very funny, centaur. Judging by your unsuccessful attempt at humor, you've evidently been spending too much time with Mulch. Do you have anything specifically important to say or are you here just to bother me?"

Foaly pretended he was wounded. "Well, judging by your unneeded use of extremely long words and complicated sentence structure, you've been spending too much time with that Mud Boy. Really, Holly. Why would I do anything of the sort?"

"Well, I don't know," Holly said sourly, "Maybe because it's one of your favorite hobbies?" She did not need to be reminded of Artemis at the moment.

"Oh, Captain," Foaly sighed melodramatically, "You give me too less credit." Then he started to babble on about his newest invention and How is dear little Arty doing? and this and that and just being a nuisance in general, with all of it punctuated by his loud chewing.

Yep. He was just here to bother her.

Just when she thought he was finally going to leave her in peace, N°1 pranced into her cubicle. Which, unfortunately, gave Foaly a reason to stay.

"Oh, N°1! What a lovely surprise," Foaly said excitedly. "Care for a carrot stick?"

"Wonderful!" N°1 said, smiling. He started to reach his furry little arm into the carton when Foaly suddenly snatched it back.

"N°1, I asked that out of courtesy. You're supposed to decline politely," he said, frowning.

N°1 looked perplexed. "But if you weren't going to give me one, then why'd you ask? I think common courtesy dictates that if you offer someone something, you must readily give it up if they consent."

"Well, I believe that common courtesy dictates that-" Foaly began to counter.

Holly interrupted them. "Right. That's great. I appreciate that you two have agreed to grace me with your fantastic presences while you argue about inconsequential things, but I think common courtesy dictates that people should be left alone when they are busy."

"Oh, Holly!" N°1 exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "One quick thing then Foaly and I will take our argument elsewhere." Holly grudgingly nodded.

"Have you thought about what I said last time about you and Artemis? Because, really, I've thought about it all week, and I still think the chemistry is astounding. I'm sure Foaly here agrees!"

"Wholeheartedly!" Foaly chimed in.

Holly covered her face with a hand, using the other to wave the intruders in the direction of her door. "As much as I'm flattered that I've been on your thoughts this whole week, that is completely unnecessary. Just leave, please."

N°1 sighed. "She's still in denial," he whispered loudly. Foaly nodded, before clapping the imp on the shoulder.

"Come now, little one. Let us journey away and return when the fair maiden's mood is as beautiful as her face," Foaly tried to mimic Orion.

Holly growled menacingly, hurrying them on their way.

She worked for a few more minutes before her communicator buzzed. She fervently hoped it was Artemis.

But, as Holly seemed to have the worst luck, it was Trouble.

"Yes?" she asked tiredly, wary that nothing good would come out of this call.

After a heated argument, a few d'arvits, and many dour glares, Holly got saddled with even more paperwork.

And Artemis still wasn't answering her calls.

Holly stabbed at her zucchini.

Ugh.

Men.

...This did not turn out as well as I hoped it would. xD It reminds me too much of those crack fics in which everybody drinks beer and gets crazy and confesses undying love for each other, regardless of gender. That's slightly alarming.

Sigh. School's starting soon. In less than a week.

Review?