Hello Readers and Fans of my works! Kumi-chan here! This is a challenge: Make a therapist story. Anyone ever notice that there are no Therapists in Naruto? None in Konoha, none in The Hidden Sound, Hidden Mist, none in any village.

And if there is any, we don't know about it haha!

Haha, and in this story: Anko's the therapist in town! Dun Dun Dunnnnn!

Enchoy this first chappie!

Genres: Humor, Drama and a bit Romance.

Pairings: A bit of Iruka/Anko, maybe Naruto/Hinata and Asuma/Kurenai, this is set in the Naruto series, not Shippuden, so I will have to see how things work out.

This is rated M for the language, suggested themes, comic violence, and maybe lemons in future chappies between Anko and some people. Who knows. But give it a chance, please! You might laugh at it!

Disclaimers: I dunn own Anko, Naruto, or anything but the plot! (Well, I own most of it)Kishimoto-sempai owns the rest! The characters, everything!

Now allow me to introduce our main character! Anko!

Anko: Hey people. Allow me to introduce the name of our first chapter!

Chapter 1 : Machi No Anko Atarashi Serapisuto!

(Anko, The New Therapist in Town!)

Kumi: People speak english here! Geez, Anko! Translation: "Anko, The New Therapist in Town!"

Written By: Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan/Kumi-Chan

Starring:

Anko Mitarashi

Etc

"C'Mon guys... Cheer up... Um, sure the Third Hokage died and everything... And it's raining... Which makes this day even more depressing but... Atleast he didn't die in vain!" Anko chimed trying to lift the spirits of her ninja friends. After the Hokage's funeral, Kakashi invited everyone out for a quick drink. However, no matter how many drinks any of them drunk, they were still sulking.

Anko pouted and leaned her elbow on the wooden table in the bar. "You all are acting like a bunch of losers." She blurted out. Picking up her bottle of sake, she then chugged it down.

"You seem to be in a good mood, Anko." Kakashi quietly murmured. Asuma sighed heavily and mumbled, "Tell me about it. Who the hell put extra sugar in your coffee this morning?" The young woman with violet hair narrowed her eyes and fumed, "Well excuse more for trying to lighten things up!" She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Hey, Iruka finally made it." The Copy Ninja remarked, waving as Iruka made his way over to their booth.

"Hello everyone. Sorry I'm late but Konohamaru actually went into shock. I just had to be there to comfort him, ya' know." He explained. Akno glanced at him and 'psshed'. "The little guy will be fine! He's just gotta' learn to suck it up!"

Iruka rolled his dark brown eyes and teased, "See Anko, that's why no one voted for you to become a mentor and why you aren't dating anyone." Asuma and Kakashi exchanged glances and burst out hearty laughs. Iruka held up his hand and Asuma 'high-fived' it.

Her light brown eyes lit up in flames and she gritted her teeth shouting, "Oh you can't be talking Iruka and Asuma! Iruka what are you? Gay or something! When's the last time you got laid, huh? And Asuma! You're still chasing after Kurenai! And ho, ho, ho! Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi, where's your girl-friend, huh?"

The men's laughter was stifled and Anko deviously grinned at her victory. "Serves you punks right for trash-talk!"

Iruka sighed and raised his hand shouting, "Waiter, I'll take a light beer, please."

"Geez Anko... Lighten up. Look on the bright side." Asuma chirped. Anko rolled her eyes and seethed, "What bright side?"

Kakashi closed his eyes in merriement and beamed, "Atleast we all cracked a smile!" Waiting for a reaction, Kakashi pinched the woman's cheeks... "Now isn't that what you wanted?" Iruka sheepishly smiled, right along with Kakashi and Asuma.

Anko's Reaction:

(._.)

*Later On*

*Anko's POV*

"Ahh!" I sighed. "The rain stopped! Finally we can see a little sun-shine after such a gloomy day!" I beamed. I walked through the Leaf Village, looking around. Ever since those bastards from Sunagakure and The Hidden Sound betrayed us and destroyed most of Konoha, things have been bustling and a bit rough.

However, construction did begin to bring back Konoha to it's natural state and to rebuild it. Many men and even women were working on bulidings. Lumber was being transported around, the sounds of hammers meeting wood and other tools echoed throughout the who village. I guess things were getting better... Gradually, you could say.

*Weeks Later*

The woman named Anko Mitarashi sat in the local Dango Shop, chewing on a piece of red bean flavored dango. She licked her lips at the sweet and good taste of the snack food she enjoyed so much. "Mmm! Chu can't finnd anee bettrr ango dan thissuh anee wheerr! Bwinga meh Hanamehh Ango nd at'll bwee all!" She chimed, talking with her mouth full. Finishing her last pieces of dango and paying the tab, Anko stepped out of the shop and into the festive and bustling city of Konohagakure.

Despite how active and live the city was, she was still suffering from boredom.

Folding her arms behind her head as a potiential head-rest, Anko sighed heavily and continued walking throughout the city.

She pasted botiques, shops, resturaunts and different places but none of them pisqued her interest. "Ugh! I'm so bored! Damn it! There is nothing to do!" She whined.

*Mean-while*

"Stop it Ino-pig!" Shouted Sakura Haruno. She was in a Cat fight with Ino Yamanaka. "Shut up Billboard Brow!" Ino seethed back. Sasuke Uchiha rolled his onyx and dark colored eyes at the scene laid out before him. He sighed from the annoyance of having to watch and started to walk away.

Sakura's pale greenn eyes gazed up at him in confusion as he walked away and she gave one more slap to Ino's elbow. Ino as well, gazed at him again, giving one more tug at Sakura's light pink hair.

"Sasuke-Kun~ Where are you going?" Ino called out. She gave a death glare to Sakura and Sakura shouted to him, "Uh, Sasuke?"

"..." Was his response.

The two pre-teen girls exchanged glares and started an arugement.

"Way to go Ino-pig! You drove Sasuke away with your stupidness and pig-like features!" Sakura scowled. Ino gasped, "What? No! I bet it was your big forehead that frightened him and made him leave! Ugh! You make me sick!" Ino scornfully hollered back to her.

Anko watched the scene from afar and finally butted in. She placed either of her hands on Sakura's head and Ino's head. Simply pushing, or more like mushing them away from each other, Anko rolled her eyes and sighed, "Look here Kitties, if Lady Tsunade saw you two fighting or whatever the hell that was my eyes just saw... They really burn right now but I can, deal with it... She'd sure as hell bring hell straight to the both of you. Got that?" Ino glared at Sakura and Sakura glared at Ino.

Anko just face-palmed and snapped, "Hello? Did you kitties here me?" The pinkette and blonde finally broke their glaring contest and they both turned their heads away from each other.

"I hear you. But I don't know if that"

"Ino-pig does"

"Billboard-brow does"

Anko sighed and rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her hip, using the other one to pick the bridge of her nose.

"You know what? Just shut up. And stop the damn glare thing and with the stupid pet names!" She ended up snapping to the two of them. Anko placed her hands inv the pockets of her khaki over-coat and walked away.

Ino and Sakura both said at the same time, "It's not pet names!"

Just a corner way from all that went down was none other than the Hokage herself. She started to rub her chin in deep thought and smiled at the "brilliant" idea she thought of.

*Later On*

"Lady Tsunade? You wanted to see me?" The violet haired, young woman slurred to the Hokage.

Tsunade who sat behind a desk that was piled with papers, documents and scrolls flashed Anki a sly grin. "Anko, I have a S-Rank mission for you. It's mandatory that you complete it... That is if you except it. I couldn't think of anyone else perfect enough for this job!" Tsunade exclaimed.

"Hell yeah I'll take it!" Anko beamed. Tsunade smirked in satisfaction and slowly handed her the scroll containing "classified information". "Shizune... Show Mitarashi-sama to the door please." Tsunade quietly said, propping her elbows up on her desk and folding her hands.

*Anko's POV*

Woo! This is the kind of thing I was looking for! I was beaming inside and out side. It was time to rub it in people's faces! Heh, Heh! A CLASSIFIED S-Rank mission! Woo!

I was strutting down the street when I saw Iruka... With a woman? Pssh, she wasn't his girl-friend I know that. With the biggest smile I had, I walked over to him and chimed, "Hey Iruka!" He gave me a sly grin and exclaimed, "Good Evening, Anko." The two of us stared at each other for a while and he broke the silence "boasting", "I'd like you to meet the mother of one of my students, Ami." Ami held out her hand for me to shake. I stared at it for a while and watched her drop her hand to her side. No way I was shaking hands with some broad who has a kid. I them smiled modestly at Iruka and his broad teasing, "Eh, she's cute. But what's up with the stretch-marks like she got four kids? Looks like Iruka's trying to pick up a mom with a kid, huh? Heh, you can do better!" Ami's small smile faded into a frown and she glanced at Iruka sighing, "I... Think I'm going to go..." She then walked away and my lips curved into a smug smile at my victory.

"What the hell did you do that for!" Iruka whined. "I actually had a chance with her!" He whined again. Iruka slumped over and exhaled deeply.

Time to play with this guy a little... I thought. "Aww, Iruka-sempai... I'm sorry. I was just being blunt and stating the obvious!" I grumbled. I got a little closer to him and started to stroke his shoulder in a "soothing" way. His head snapped up and he gave me a puzzled expression. "Anko?" He inquired, flashing me a modest smile.

"Yes, Iruka-sempai?" I answered back.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, frowing at me.

I rolled my eyes and patted his head. "Nevermind that Buck-o. Guess who just got a CLASSIFIED S-Rank mission?"

Before Iruka could even answer my question, I pointed my two thumbs at myself and boasted, "This Girl!"

He himself decided to roll his eyes and groaned, "You? S-Rank mission?... No fair. Fine, what's it about?" I thought for a moment and scratched the nape of my neck. "Gee, not that you mention it, I dunno'. But I can tell you this! Lady Tsunade said that I was perfect for this mission." I chimed. Taking the scroll out of my big pockets on my over coat, I pried open the scroll and read the mission's objectives and details, with Iruka peering over my shoulder to read them as well.

Objectives: Play Therapist

Details: Because of your bluntness and your tendency to tell the truth even though it hurts. I chose you for this mission which is to be a Therapist/Pshcologist to the people of Konoha. There has been many depressed people and many people who just need help. So I proposed that you become the new and official Therapist of The Hidden Leaves. You're first mission for TODAY is to listen to Konohamaru's problems and decipher what he should do about them. I can't have this city in a wreck. So it's up to you Anko Mitarashi. Best of luck... Hell, you're gonna' need it. (You'll haveto forgive me. My pencil's lead broke... so I finished this breifing in pen as you can see.)

Anko's grip on the scroll became tighter and tighter until her nails literally ripped through the thick canvas paper. She turned around to face Iruka who had a sour looking expression in the features of his face. "Grrr!" Anko growled. Iruka finally burst out laughing and didn't stop. "Shut the hell up, Iruka!"

"Y-You? As a therapist! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He scoffed. Anko looked towards the sky and ranted at the top of her lungs, "Why fucking me!"

*Tsunade's Office*

"Stat report, Lady Tsunade." Shizune announced. Tsunade took a sip of her sake and nodded her head, "Alright. Let's hear it."

"Anko Mitarashi. Seen with Iruka Umino. She was seen reading the scroll containing the information and yelled to the sky 'Why fucking me'. Then she balled it up."

Tsunade nodded her head and sheepishly stated, "Good. Very good."

*Anko's house*

-knock, knock-

"The door's fucking open! Come on in.". She shouted throughout the house. The door slowly opened to reveal none other than a sobbing Konohamaru.

"H-Hi, S-Snake Lady." He stammered through sobs. Anko slapped her forehead and sighed, "What the hell was I thinking..."

"And that's Anko-sama or Mitarashi-san to you baka!" Konohamaru nodded his head and continued to cry, but stood at the door. Anko watched him for atleast a minute and uttered in an annoyed voice, "Well? Are you just gonna' stand there or come in so I can get this mess over with?"

"Y-You have t-tuh invite me in." He whined. Anko rolled her eyes and sighed, "Now who the hell told you that? Just walk in, kid." Konohamaru cried, "G-Grandpa did! Wah!" He cried even harder. Anko sighed heavily and pinched her temples.

"C'Mon in and tell Aunty Anko, what's wrong." Konohamaru walked in and flopped down on the love-seat couch, grabbing a pillow and crying into it. "Aww... Not my decorative pillows..." She pouted.

"I-I miss grandpa! I miss em' so much! I can't believe I won't ever see em' again!" Anko sat down on the couch across from the love-seat and chimed, "Well of couse you will, kid!" Konohamaru sniffled and his lips curved into a small and hopeful smile, "R-Really?"

"Yeah! When you die, then you'll see him!" The Rookie ninja's smile faded and he burst out crying even louder. Anko twitched and covered her ears, "What? What's wrong now? Suck it up okay!"

"And stop the damn crying! This isn't the Konohamaru, I know! What are you? Five or something!" Konohamaru's crying stifled and he wiped his eyes, "Sorry, Anko-sempai... Can I ask you two questions?"

Anko nodded her head and slurred, "Well that's one right there, that you just asked. And I said to call me, Anko-sama OR Mitarashi-sama. Anko and Sempai do not mix well! Just like green tea and milk don't mix well... But some idiots seem to drink it. Okay!" Konohamaru nodded his head and pouted, "Hey! No fair! That's not a question is it?"

Anko giggled and sassed, "There was your second question. Now Ithis session is over." She rose up from her seat and grabbed Konohamaru by his hand. "Thank you, please do NOT come again and don't forget to take your complimentary lolli-pop! Ta~Ta, now!" She led him to the door and pointed to the bowl filled with assorted lolli-pops and different types of candy. "One lolli-pop per session, too. Those shits cost money."

Konohamaru was mumbling, "But! But!"

"Ah, Ah! No buts! Now see ya' kid!" As soon as he grabbed his lolli-pop, Anko opened the door and pushed him out.

She let out a sigh of relief and wiped fake sweat off of her fore-head. "Boy! What a day..." Anko sighed.

Frantic knocks were heard on her door and she yelled, "Anko Mitarashi is not here at the moment! Leave a messege at the beep. Beep!"

"Anko-sempai! What kind of therapist are you! That wasn't even atleast ten minutes! You suck at this! You really do! And you were a bit mean! Honestly! You should just stick to being a Chunin Proctor!"

Anko glared and shouted, "Hey kid! I gave you enough time and all you did was cry!"

"I thought you said, Anko wasn't here!" Konohamaru teased. The violet haired woman rolled her eyes and Konohamaru shouted, "And another thing! These lolli-pops suck!"

"Hey, kid! Atleast you stopped whining!" She yelled back.

Now this is the time where you read this little A/N and then review!... Please? Hehe!

Haha! What did you all think of this first chapter? I worked hard on it, so please tell me what chu all think! Was it funny? Were the people themselves? What did you think? Tell me please! Kumi-chan really, really wants to know!

Tell me, would you all go to a therapist like Anko? Hehe, but hey, it was her first day on the job!

Next chappie is her SECOND day on the job! Featuring Iruka, Sakura Haruno, Jiraiya(Pervy-Sage) AND dun dun dunnnn! Chouji! There will be unexpected events! Humor! Lots and lots of Humor! Some Drama! And expect Anko being her usual self! Oh yessuh! And another character: Shikamaru Nara makes a guess appearance!

Anko: Yeah bitches. So what do ya' all say? Like it? Like it not? *strikes a pose* You better believe it! Anko Mitarashi!

Naruto: Hey! Crazy Snake Lady! Stop stealing my phrases!

Anko: Oh yeah?

Naruto: Yeah!

Anko: ...

Naruto: Heheheheh!

*Anko grabs a kunai and cuts Naruto*

Naruto: Hey!

Thanks For Reading!

Don't forget to click the review button! I'm counting on it! Anon reviews excepted as well! I really need some more reviews people! Haha!

See you all next chappie!

Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan/Kumi-Chan