Galvanize

As her visions begin to take a toll on her, Haruka struggles to cope with the side effects of her treatment meds.

Her heartbeat began to thud in her chest and she felt a growing sense of frustration and suffocation. She grasped her hair and stood staring at nothing but the plain white walls.

Her body felt as if it was going into flight or panic mode and she thought her heart was going to explode. She wasn't having a vision, but she felt just as breathless and almost as if she was drowning.

Before she realized what she had done, Haruka smashed her fist into the closest item by her. Her pent-up rage and panic flowed through her and out of her fist and she felt a sense of shaky relief wash over her almost instantaneously.

She saw the vase by her bedside hurtle down onto the ground where it smashed into a thousand broken pieces. She stared at it silently, taking in large, deep gasps and clenching and unclenching her fists as she tried to calm herself down.

She heard quick movements at the stairs and paused. Her eyes flickered towards the door for a moment. Mamoru, she realized. Oh…Shit.

She looked back down at the mess at the floor and squinted as she realized there were large spots of blood dripping on the floor. Her eyes followed the mess on the floor to her hand, which had a long, stinging cut from her pointer finger across her palm. How the fuck did that manage to happen?

The door slammed open and she couldn't help but wince at the loud crack that resulted from the doorknob hitting the wall. Mamoru appeared immediately, katana clenched tightly in hand and his body tensed in anticipation. He froze and took in the scene as she stared at him blankly, as if she didn't understand the scene herself.

Blood dripped slowly from her hand, which was held up to her face indifferently, and splattered onto the tan carpet. "What the hell happened?" He asked her almost viciously, and her shoulders rose slightly in a half-shrug.

"I called your name twice!" She faltered and furrowed her eyebrows slightly. Had he called her name? She hadn't even noticed. "For fuck's sake." He muttered under his breath as he rested his katana against the wall and moved to grasp her hand, trying to stifle the blood flow.

Her senses screamed at her in pain and she recoiled. "Ow!" She protested as she tried to retract her hand, but he caught her firmly by the wrist. "What did you do?" He chided, though talking more to himself than to her really.

"I…" She started, but couldn't think of an excuse on the spot. "The vase broke," She answered dumbly, nodding towards it slowly with her head.

He glanced at her, raising an eyebrow, and agreed, "I can see that." She scowled; she knew he didn't mean to say that to mock her, but she was annoyed nonetheless. "Where are the bandages?" He asked, curling her hand into a fist and wrapping his large, warm hands around hers.

She hissed as her wounded flesh/skin rubbed against each other and she involuntarily stepped closer to him. "Uh…Uhm…the drawers." She rubbed her temples as a growing pain began to spread to the front of her head.

Mamoru reached over her and pulled the side drawer open with one hand, and she gritted her teeth. Her senses were finally becoming aware of the pain and she was beginning to regret her rash decision.

"Yeah, well…" She muttered to herself and he glanced over to her somewhat skeptically as if she was talking to herself. Well, she was talkingto herself. Not exactly, she argued with herself. Well, fuck, she paused. She was doing it again. She was beginning to feel kind of funny.

"Haruka." She looked up questioningly at him at the sound of his harsh tone. He paused and simply stared at her, somewhat caught off guard or unnerved. She met his gaze strangely; she must have looked like a monster what with the fact that she hadn't gotten any sleep in the past couple of days. She didn't move, didn't blink, but simply stood there, her gaze unwavering.

She searched his face for anything that would reveal the slightest hint of what he was thinking. Her eyes traced the long, scattered scars that lined his forehead and concealed his eyesight. Behind his dark glasses she could see his hazy, milky eyes. What was probably such a soft, beautiful color was replaced by a dull remnant of the past bright blue. "How appropriate," She murmured to herself under her breath and she could see his eyes narrow in confusion.

His gaze faltered and something akin to a scowl or more of a grimace appeared on his face. She raised her eyebrows, unable to contain her surprise about how uncharacteristic his behavior was. Before she could stop herself she raised her hand to touch his cheek, but he gave an almost violent start.

He caught her by the wrist in a tight grip and a flash of pain flickered in her expression at the sudden movement. Realizing this, he almost instantly released her and took a step backward. He needed to put some space between them whenever Haruka suddenly became so touchy-feely.

She sighed, as if at a loss, and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand tiredly. "Ugh…" Her head was pounding so hard she could barely see straight. She momentarily considered telling him about her state of mind, but she hesitated at the last moment.

Frustration began to build up in her system again and this time she knew she couldn't risk expelling it through violence again. Just…get it over with, for God sake. She passed a hand across her face, suddenly feeling so weary and dizzy.

"Mamoru." She forced herself to meet his gaze, and he was still staring at her cautiously, waiting. She swallowed and glanced away nervously, shuffling uncomfortably in her place. Get past the bullshit! She chided to herself.

"Um, my meds aren't working. They haven't been…working…recently." She took awkward pauses in between her sentences as she saw his face twist in raw emotion again. A cold shiver ran down her spine before she could suppress it and she tensed her shoulders, rooted to the spot.

He stood there silently, unmoving, and Haruka eventually realized that he was trying to control his temper. "How long?" He asked quietly, his mouth set in a firm line. She couldn't meet his gaze, even if she couldn't see his eyes directly.

Fuck. She felt tears well up in her eyes and her heart began to pound. Don't say it, a part of her mind pleaded with her, but what choice did she have now?

"Um. I can't…remember." Her voice was shaky now and her heart was pacing at a dangerous rate in her chest. She wouldn't meet his eyes; she refused to. She blinked hard as her vision grew distorted and spotty.

She abruptly felt hands on her shoulders and her heart exploded with panic. She instinctively grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him forward, and kneed him violently in the crotch. "Huh—" He sputtered, caught off guard by her sudden assault.

He stumbled backwards, clutching his stomach with one hand and grabbing his katana with the other hand. Her expression twisted as she repeated her actions over and over in her mind. "What…" She whispered, breathing heavily.

Suddenly she felt her hand throb as blood seeped from her freshly reopened wound and through her bloodied bandages. What's happening to me? The thought echoed in her mind as she looked back at Mamoru's equally confused, wary face.

"I think I need help."