disclaimer: nooope. this would be a thing if i was in charge.
word count: 630something
notes: this was written purely for shits & giggles. shits. and. giggles. it was also written like forever ago.

Percy frowned. Octavian was standing in his cabin, leaning against his closed cabin door, and looking particulary smug. "I don't remember letting you in."

Octavian's permanent smirk widened briefly into an amused grin. He stood up straight, cast a look around the cabin, and started towards Percy. "I'm sure you know why I'm here. Not even you, the idiot son of Neptune, can be this dense."

"It's Poseidon," Percy said. He edged backwards until his legs hit his bed, eyeing the advancing Roman warily. "Man, we've been over that several times."

"That really doesn't matter right now." Octavian stopped right in front of Percy. "And I really do hope you aren't stupid enough to keep this foolish cherade up." He hooked two fingers into a belt loop on Percy's jeans, pulling him forward and smashing their hips together.

Percy hissed at the sudden contact. "...Shut up, augur," he said lamely.

"Make me."

Hardly a minute later, Percy was on his back in his bed with Octavian hovering over him, head bowed, lips locked onto his. Percy's hands were gripping the other boys' shoulders for leverage, helping to hold himself up at an angle that would otherwise just be really uncomfortable. Octavian's hands were under his shirt, running down his sides and over his hips - and kind of edging further and further into Percy's jeans.

And that was when the door flew open.

"Hey, yo, Perce - Woah, man!"

Octavian looked over to the door. Underneath him, Percy froze with his eyes glued to the door and the person standing there. His hands still pushed against Octavian's shoulders.

Standing in the doorway, Leo Valdez gaped at the pair. One of his hands remained on the cabin door, the other was holding something tightly. He was still talking. "You should really lock the door. Most people do, y'know, when they're... doin' this... Wait, don't both of you have girlfriends? Wow, how do you think they'd react to this?" He paused just long enough to look from Percy to Octavian and back again, then continued talking.

Octavian frowned. "Does he ever shut up?" he asked lowly.

"...Not really..." Percy pushed at Octavian, trying to get the other boy to ease back so he could sit up. "Hey, Leo?" he started.

"What in the gods' names do you want?" Octavian cut across him, staring at Leo for an answer. He leaned back, sitting up straighter, and Percy pulled himself out from under him.

Leo grinned and laughed - a shaky, fake-sounding laugh. "Oh, uh... Never mind that." He switched his grip on the door and started to back out of the cabin. "You can go back to doin' your thing, man. Use protection, guys. Haha, we don't mini-yous running around, right?" He giggled. "Guys can't get pregnant..."

"Leave!" Octavian snapped.

The door slammed closed.

Percy made to get off the bed, only to be pulled forward by Octavian until their lips met. He hesitated, thinking that he really should probably lock the door if this was going to happen, because one person walking in was bad enough. Soon, though, it was just as it was before the interruption. Octavian's hands roamed down his sides before yanking eagerly on the waistband of his jeans. They were still glued at the lips.

The door banged open again. Both boys jumped, startled, and boisterious laughter filled the cabin.

"Leo!"

Leaning halfway through the open doorway, Leo waved at the two with one hand. A camera was locked in his grip. "Had to get evidence! Jason doesn't believe me!" Before either one of them could move an inch, he zipped out of the cabin. The door hung open; Leo's laughter echoed back to them.

"...I'm going to kill him," Octavian said flatly, glaring at the open doorway. "But first - Lock the godsdamn door."

Percy ignored him, staring at the slightly ajar door in horror. Dear gods, what if Annabeth saw that picture?

other notes: if you guys dont believe theres sexual tension between those two, we read different books.