Nothing But Doom

"Okay boss. We're all here," Sabertooth growled as he and Piotr entered Magneto's lab. Remy and Pyro stood nearby. "What do you need us for?"

"I require your presence," Magneto said while tending to a large machine. It looked somewhat like a cross between a cement mixer and a telephone booth. "My analysis has found a surprisingly large number of dormant X-genes within the blood samples you all brought back from the hospital."

"Oh geeze, don't remind me," Remy shuddered. "I still haven't recovered from all the blood I lost there due to that crazy femme!"

"I can not believe we stole an ambulance and brought it back to the base," Piotr groaned.

"Hey, I didn't hear you complaining on the ride back," Pyro pointed out. "Course you kept getting sick and passing out every few minutes..."

"We all would have passed out if we had let you drive anymore," Sabertooth grunted. "The hobos on that freight car are probably still crying after being scarred for life!"

"Well they should've picked a faster train to ride on," Pyro shrugged. "Ya'd think blokes who have traveled so much would have seen a flying ambulance on fire before."

"Getting back on track here," Remy gestured to the machine. "What does any of this have to do with blood samples?"

"Everything," Magneto held up a small container. "I have managed to isolate the dormant X-gene within each relevant sample. This machine will sequence the gene and integrate it with a living, fully functioning individual genome, thus granting the subject any and all abilities of the gene."

"Huh?" Pyro blinked.

"It will give someone the mutant powers of the sample," Magneto told them. "But only for a few minutes."

"Really? Wow!" Pyro's eyes lit up. "That's great!"

"That's amazing," Remy agreed, impressed. "But why only for a few minutes?"

"The introduced X-gene will not have the ability to replicate itself," Magneto explained. "Therefore the host's natural genetic structure will quickly replace it."

"Well if the new powers are only temporary, why bother building the machine at all?" Sabertooth asked.

"To see what powers the dormant X-genes contain of course," Magneto gave him a look. "If they are impressive enough the person who possesses the X-gene becomes a potential candidate for recruitment should their X-gene ever become activated."

"I guess that makes sense," Remy admitted. "So why did you need us...oh no."

"Oh yes," Magneto looked at them. "Colossus, step forward."

"Oh no," Piotr groaned and did as Magneto instructed. He stepped into the booth-shaped part of the machine and closed his eyes. "Just get it over with."

"Good luck Colossus," Pyro called to him. "Hope you get some powers that deal with fire!"

"Remind still," Magneto loaded a sample container and began to work the machine. Several mechanical arms appeared and rested probes on strategic points of Piotr's skin. Lasers highlighted the probes and began working in tandem with them. Finally, the whole booth filled with light accompanied by a high pitched electrical humming.

WWWHHHRRRZZZAAAAAAPPP!

"Ouch!" Piotr yelped and briefly appeared blue.

"Piotr! Are you okay?" Remy shouted.

"I think so," Piotr blinked somewhat dizzily as the light disappeared and his color returned to normal. The machine's probes retracted as he carefully stumbled out of the booth. "Ohhh, that hurt."

"Of course it hurt. Your entire genetic structure was just manipulated on the molecular level," Magneto told him coldly. "That last burst was to activate the newly integrated X-gene."

"That means you now have new powers," Pyro sad eagerly.

"Oh," Piotr shook his head and cautiously looked at himself. "I do not feel different."

"That just means the gene doesn't grant any external mutations," Magneto watched him. "Try activating your normal powers without actually using them."

"Okay...ahhhhhh!" Piotr yelped as a strange stream of light shot from his hand. The light hit a glass laboratory beaker which quickly split in two.

"Hooly dooley!" Pyro's eyebrows shot up.

"Did you see that?" Remy blinked. "Piotr just make a completely new beaker!"

Sabertooth picked the new beaker up and tested it. "Feels solid. It ain't an illusion." He set the beaker down. "Looks like it's here to stay."

"Cool! You can make copies of stuff!" Pyro chirped and slapped Piotr on the back.

"Watch it!" Piotr warned as another stream of light shot out and hit the newly created beaker. It glowed briefly before it disappeared.

"Impressive," Magneto raised an eyebrow at the remarkable display of power. "Having the ability to instantly create exact copies of any object and remove them at will. Power like that has definite possibilities."

"Yeah, you buy one of something and the next ten thousand will be free," Remy quipped.

"That should help solve the food problem around here," Sabertooth grunted.

"First I must run a few more tests on this new ability," Magneto decided. "Colossus, make a copy of the protein analyzer."

"Okay," Piotr followed Magneto's gesture and aimed at the large machine in the corner.

"Oh boy! This is great! How about we try making copies of my flamethrowers and..." Pyro walked into view right as Piotr let loose another stream of light. "Aaahhhhhh!"

"Pyro!" Remy shouted as Pyro was hit. Pyro yelped and was immediately split in two. Unfortunately, none of Pyro's clothes followed suit. "Oh my gosh..."

"Did he just...?" Magneto stared in shock.

"Ouch! That hurt!" The new Pyro winced and rubbed his head.

"Oh dear," Piotr gulped covering his eyes. "I did not need to see this!"

"Oh no," Sabertooth blanched and began to shake. "No! No! No! Not two of him!"

"Hey, what's everybody looking at?" Pyro asked before noticing his duplicate. "Hey it's me!"

"No it's not. It's me!" The Pyro duplicate said. "I'm Pyro!"

"So am I!" Pyro beamed and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet me too!" The Pyro duplicate grinned. "Hey, I'm cute!"

"Well, this is unexpected," Remy blinked at the exchange. Neither Pyro seemed bothered by one's lack of clothing. "I don't know whether to be awed or die of shock."

"Forget that!" Sabertooth grabbed Piotr's hand and frantically waved it at the two Pyros. "Quick! Blast that other Pyro and get rid of it!"

"Hey! Let go!" Piotr yelled while still covering his eyes. Streams of light began to randomly shoot from his hand.

"Hit the deck!" Remy yelled diving out of the way.

"KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Sabertooth screamed.

"VICTOR!" Magneto roared while dodging the blasts. "Stop that impetuous behavior at once!"

"Huh?" Sabertooth blinked as Piotr managed to pry loose from his grip. "Oh. Sorry boss. I kinda lost it there for a moment."

"You think?" Magneto snapped. "Though I must confess, the sight of seeing two Pyros nearly had me losing it as well!"

"At least we don't have to worry about that anymore," Sabertooth sighed in relief.

"Uh, not exactly," Remy gulped, the color completely drained from his face.

"Huh?" Magneto and Sabertooth turned and saw Pyro standing in the middle of the room. Surrounding him were eighteen unclothed Pyro duplicates. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey Mags!" All the Pyros waved. "G'day mates!"

"YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Magneto screamed. "IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE!"

"NOOOOOO!" Sabertooth shrieked and hid behind Piotr. "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"

"MAGS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Remy yelled.

"ME?" Magneto shouted. "I have done nothing!"

"Yes you have!" Remy snapped. "Because of you and your stupid machine you gave Piotr the power to make Pyro clones!"

"Cologne? I don't wear cologne," A Pyro spoke up.

"Neither do I," Another Pyro commented. "Or anything else at the moment."

"Hey, look at all this neat stuff!" A third Pyro chirped and picked up a hand scanner.

"Sweet!" The mob of Pyros spread out and began playing with various lab equipment.

"Stop that!" Magneto snapped out of his shock and tried to contain the Pyros. "Put that dissection laser down! Cease playing with the DNA resequencer! No, don't mix those chemicals together!"

BOOM!

"Yay!" Several Pyros cheered as a lab table caught on fire. "Look at all the pink and purple flames!"

"Yikes!" Piotr uncovered his eyes. He ran up and attempted to put out the blaze.

"Oooh, pretty!" Other Pyros marveled as they poked at various machines and watched them light up.

"Look! I can write my name!" A Pyro giggled as he played around and shot things with a large surgical laser.

"Yahhhhhh! Keep them away from me!" Sabertooth shrieked ducking behind a table.

"Piotr! Get rid of the clones!" Remy shouted.

"What? Oh, right!" Piotr paused and pointed a hand at a Pyro. "Uh oh. The new powers have worn off!"

"Oh no!" Remy groaned.

"Wheeeeeeeee!" The Pyros continued to play around and trash the lab.

"Hey! I'm hungry!" A Pyro declared. "I'm gonna go grill me a snack!"

"Me too!" The other Pyros agreed. "And we can find some clothes and set more stuff on fire while we're cooking!"

"Great! Follow me mates!" The mob of Pyros cheered and ran out of the lab.

"Oh gosh, they're loose!" Remy gulped.

"And they're permanent!" Magneto blanched and sunk to his knees.

"Aren't we going to do something?" Piotr asked as he finished putting out the fires.

"Do? There's nothing we can do!" Sabertooth whimpered and threw up his hands. "WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED I TELL YOU!"

"Sabes!" Remy ran up and slapped Sabertooth a few times. "Snap out of it man! We gotta do something about all these Pyros!"

"But what can we do?" Piotr asked. "Dealing with one Pyro is hard enough. How can we hope to control a whole mob of them?"

KA-BOOOOM!

"HEHEHEHEHE!"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

SMASH!

WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!

FLOOOOOOM!

"WAHOOOOOOOOO!"

"I have no idea," Remy gulped as the entire base began to shake. "On second thought, I move that we ditch the Pyros and make a run for the border."

"I second the motion!" Sabertooth declared.

"Shut up you lunatics!" Magneto snapped and thought for a moment. "Look, there is an easy way to fix this. All we have to do is use the machine to give Colossus new powers again and then he can get rid of all the Pyro clones."

"Me? Why me?" Piotr protested.

"Because you're the one who had the power before," Remy told him. "So part of this is your fault!"

"It is not!" Piotr shouted. "Okay, maybe a little bit..."

"Silence!" Magneto shouted. "Colossus, step into the machine. Gambit, Sabertooth. Go try rounding up the Pyros and prevent them from blowing up the base!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"YEAH! LET IT BURN! LET IT BURN!"

FA-WAAAAAAAAAP!

CRASH!

"Might be too late for that," Remy gulped.

"Don't send me out there," Sabertooth looked at Magneto pleadingly. "Please, please, please don't send me out there!"

"Victor," Magneto warned.

"Fine," Sabertooth groaned as he and Remy left the lab. "But I demand to get hazardous duty pay for this!"

"I'll be demanding a lot more than hazardous duty pay," Remy muttered. "Providing I somehow manage to make it through this alive."

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A pair of Pyros skipped down the hallway while spraying shaving cream everywhere. They were now dressed in some of Pyro's other clothes.

"Pull!" Another clothed Pyro stood in the recreation room and tossed a lamp into the air. Other Pyros attempted to shoot it down using fireballs.

BOOM!

TINKLE! TINKLE!

"SPICED RIBS FOR EVERYONE!" Sounds of maniacal laughter emanated from the kitchen along with several trails of smoke.

"Whoot! Whoot! Whoot!" An entire section of hallway appeared decorated in psychedelic colors. Pyros wielding paint cans and paint brushes continued to make fresh paint trails before setting them on fire. "Yeah!"

"Ride 'em jackaroo!" A Pyro burst out of the laundry room riding on a heavily bucking washing machine. "WAHOOOOOO!"

"La la la la la!" A chorus line of Pyros danced by with various animals made of fire intermingled with them.

"Oh boy," Remy blinked at the insanity.

"The boss expects us to control all this?" Sabertooth growled. "He's crazier than Pyro!"

"FIRE SLIDE!" A Pyro slipped by riding on top of a blazing trail of fire.

"Yahooo!" Other Pyros rolled out of Storage Room Four while balancing on metal drums.

"Look out!" Remy and Sabertooth ran from the rolling Pyros and took refuge in the Control Room.

"Marvelous! Simply marvelous!" A trio of Pyros skipped around admiring their handiwork. The entire Control Room had been decorated with multicolored silly string.

"Oh great," Remy groaned looking around. "Mags is gonna have a fit when he sees this."

"Yayayayaya!" More Pyros stormed into the room dueling each other with tubes of pipe foam.

"OW! OW! OW!" Remy yelped as he found himself caught in the crossfire. "Hey, cut it out!"

"Knock it off Firebugs!" Sabertooth roared lifting a pair of Pyros up by their collars. "Crud, I'm gonna need a serious drink after this."

"You want a drink? Here ya go!" A Pyro pulled out a seltzer bottle and sprayed Sabertooth with it.

"GAAARRRGGGHHH!" Sabertooth sputtered as he was hit, dropping the Pyros. "You flame brained lunatic! You're a dead man! When I get through with you...hey! This isn't water!"

"Yes it is. It's just got methane in it," One of the Pyros spoke up holding a lighter. "Here, I'll prove it!"

FA-WAAAAAAP!

"AAAGGGHHHHHH!" Sabertooth screamed as he was lit up. "I'M ON FIRE!"

"Yeah!" All the Pyros cheered before engulfing themselves in flames. "And it feels so good!"

"Uh, hey Pyro," Remy tried to get their attentions. "I mean, Pyros. How about we play a game?"

"A game? Yay!" The distracted Pyros cheered while letting the flames go out. "What game?"

"It's called 'How Long Can You Sit On The Floor And Stay Still'," Remy told them. "The one who stays still the longest wins."

"Aw, that's no fun," The Pyros pouted. "I know! Let's play Smoke, Smoke, Fire!"

"Uh, let's not," Remy gulped.

"But it's fun!" A Pyro insisted. "It's like Duck, Duck, Goose. Watch!" The Pyros grabbed Remy and began dancing in a circle. One lone Pyro skipped around the perimeter pointing at them. "Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, fire!"

"That's it! All you Firebugs are dead...AAAGGGRRRHHHHHH!" Sabertooth yelled as the Pyro pointed at him and covered him in flames. "YEOOOWWW! NOT AGAIN!"

"He's out!" Another Pyro giggled. "My turn!"

"Oh no," Remy began to sweat and desperately tried to break free. "Let me go! I don't wanna play anymore!"

"Hehehehehe!" The Pyros in the circle laughed and danced around.

"Smoke, smoke, smoke," The lone Pyro pointed at Remy. "Fire!"

"NO!" Remy yelled as the Pyro took aim. A metal bar suddenly flew across the room and pinned the Pyro to the wall. "What the...?"

"There you are!" Magneto flew in leading several Pyros bound in metal restraints. Piotr carefully followed behind them. "Alright, do we have all the Pyros here?"

"I think so," Remy gasped shakily and did a quick head count.

"Great," Magneto sighed. "Now Colossus. Get rid of all the Pyros except for the original."

"Right," Piotr readied his hands. "Uh, which Pyro is the original?"

"Um," Magneto blinked at all the identical Pyros. "Good question."

"Who cares!" Sabertooth snapped having finally managed to extinguish himself. "Just get rid of them all!"

"But if I hit the original won't that just make more Pyro clones for us to deal with?" Piotr asked.

"Oh, good point," Sabertooth gulped.

"Uh, okay all you fire-loving hommes out there," Remy called out. "Which one of you is the real Pyro?"

"That's me!" One of the unbound Pyros stepped forward. "I'm Pyro!"

"No you're not!" Another Pyro snapped at him. "I'm Pyro!"

"You're both wrong!" A third Pyro shouted. "I'm Pyro!"

"No, I'm Pyro!" The mob of Pyros began arguing with one other.

"I'm Pyro!"

"I'm Pyro!"

"I AM PYRO!"

"This is not working," Piotr ducked a fire blast as the unbound Pyros began fighting each other using their powers. "What do we do?"

"I am beginning to think Sabertooth has the right idea," Magneto thought.

"Wait! I found him!" Remy dashed over and dragged one Pyro away. "He's the only one who's wearing his uniform. The others are all wearing whatever clothes they managed to find."

"You are right," Piotr blinked. "Why did I not see that?"

"I can take a wild guess," Sabertooth grunted.

"Whatever," Magneto sighed. "Colossus, blast them!"

"Okay," Piotr nodded and held up his hands. "Here I go."

FLAAASSSHHHHHH!

"That..." Piotr blinked at the strange wave of light. "That did not happen before."

"The Pyros must have messed with Mags' machine earlier and loaded a different blood sample," Remy realized. "Wonder what kind of powers you just used?"

"I do not think you want to know," Piotr gulped nervously.

"Yay!" All the Pyro clones had been reduced to six year olds. They quickly wiggled free of their restraints and examined their oversized clothes. "Neat! We've all grown down!"

"Oh no," Sabertooth paled and shook in horror at the sight. "No! We're all gonna die!"

"You were right," Remy gulped looking on in terror. "It is the end of the world!"

"Uncle Gambit!" The Young Pyros cheered and rushed them. "Uncle Sabes!"

"GET OFF ME!" Remy yelled as he was mauled by Young Pyro clones. "HEY! GIVE ME BACK THAT WALLET! AND MY STAFF! AND THOSE CARDS! HAHAHA...HEY! S-STOP TICKLING ME! HA!"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU LITTLE MENACES...AAARRRGGGHHH!" Sabertooth roared as the Young Pyro clones tackled him. "OW! STOP PULLING MY HAIR!"

"CHANGE THEM BACK! CHANGE THEM BACK!" Magneto shrieked.

"I can not! The powers have worn off again!" Piotr shouted as he tried to pull away the Pyro clones. "Let them go!"

"Thanks homme," Remy gasped as the Young Pyro clones backed off and tore their clothes down to reasonable sizes. "Ohhh, my spleen!"

"That was fun!" The crowd of Young Pyro clones giggled. "Let's find some other stuff to do!"

"Oh no you don't!" Magneto prepared to restrain them again, but was hit in the face by some sort of glob. "Aaahhhhhh! What hit me? What is this stuff? I can't see!"

"Hehehe!" A Young Pyro cloned giggled holding up a slingshot and a bottle labeled 'Instant Non-Toxic Super Glue'.

"YOU LITTLE INSECTS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Magneto roared and tried to catch the Young Pyro clones, but was hampered by his lack of sight.

CRASH!

"Look out!" Remy yelled as metal restraints began randomly flying around. All of them missed the Young Pyro clones and imbedded themselves into the walls. "Mags! Stop throwing those things around before you kill somebody!"

"THAT'S THE IDEA!" Magneto shouted right before his pants were set on fire. "AAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Good one!" A Young Pyro clone high-fived another one. "Hey, anybody want ice cream?"

"ME!" Several Young Pyro clones rushed out and ran over Magneto.

"Ohhh," Magneto moaned.

"Come back here!" Remy shouted and tried to follow them. His back let out a painful crack. "Oooh, on second thought..."

"We're doomed!" Sabertooth moaned curling up into a ball. "We're doomed, we're doomed, we're doomed..."

"Watch me! I can fly!" A Young Pyro clone chirped whipping out a lighter. He made a rocket pack made of flames and speedily blasted off. "YAHOOOOOOOOO!"

"Neat!" Other Young Pyro clones quickly followed suit. Soon the air was filled with flying Young Pyro clones.

"Oh great!" Remy hit the floor as Young Pyro clones flew overhead. "They still have full use of their mutant powers!"

"How is that possible?" Piotr asked as the Young Pyro clones ran amok. "They are just little kids!"

SMASH!

"Very powerful little kids," Remy blanched as a Young Pyro clone shot out a giant fireball that blew clean through a wall.

"Look what I found!" A Young Pyro clone appeared looking like Magneto. "An ugly looking bucket and a big purple bed sheet!"

"WHAT?" A still blinded Magneto roared. He ran out of the room trying to catch the Young Pyro clone by following the sound of his laughs. "GIVE ME BACK MY SPARE HELMET AND CAPE YOU LITTLE DELINQUENT!"

"That's it! I'm outta here!" Sabertooth prepared to make a break for it.

"YAHOOOOOO!" A pack of Young Pyro clones whooped maniacally as they rode a motorcycle wildly down the hallway.

"COME BACK HERE WITH MY BIKE YOU LITTLE TWERPS!" Sabertooth roared chasing after them. "YOU'D BETTER NOT SCRATCH THE PAINTJOB YOU...AAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh my," Piotr gulped.

"Hahahahaha!" A storm of Young Pyro clones laughed happily as they bonked each other with burning pillows and flaming couch cushions.

BOOM!

"Yay! Toilet paper bombs are so much fun!" Other Young Pyro clones cheered as they ran around setting off more bombs. "And they burn so well!"

ZZZZZZAAAPPP!

"Oh my" Piotr took cover behind a console with Remy as they watched a Young Pyro clone zap random objects with a taser. "Do you think Pyro was like this when he was a child?"

"It would explain all those stories he told us about his parents trying to kill him...aaahhhhhh," Remy yelped as he was tackled from behind.

"Hey Uncle Gambit!" A mob of Young Pyro clones grinned at him. "We wanna play with you!"

"NO!" Remy tried to break away but there were too many clones. "NO PLAYING! NO PLAYING!"

"Let's go!" The Young Pyro clones cheered excitedly taking off.

"PIOTR SAVE ME!" Remy screamed as they dragged him away.

"Come back here!" Piotr ran after the Young Pyro clones, but they were surprisingly fast.

"Ya gotta love it," Pyro smiled as he watched his Young Pyro clones at play. "These little tackers are almost as active as I was at that age!"

"Zoom, zoom, zoom!" Young Pyro clones raced by riding on mini fire scooters.

"Pyroback ride!" A Young Pyro clone leapt up and clung to Pyro's neck. "Giddy-yap!"

"You got it!" Pyro grinned leaving the Control Room and taking off down the hallway. "Let's see what else your mates are up to."

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Young Pyro clones squealed as they zoomed past riding on rocket-powered chairs with wheels.

"Fire tag!" Other Young Pyro clones chanted running by shooting flames at each other.

"RRRAAARRRRRRRRR!" An enormous fire dragon stormed out of the bathroom.

"HELP ME!" Sabertooth screamed as he frantically hopped by tied up with duct tape.

"Come back Uncle Sabes!" Several Young Pyro clones chased after him brandishing safety razors. "We just wanna give you a haircut before we put you down for a nap!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sabertooth yelled.

"Hey I wanna do that too!" The Young Pyro clone on Pyro's back cheered.

"Okay!" Pyro grinned and followed the other Young Pyro clones into the recreation room.

"Let me down!" Piotr shouted while strung up by the ceiling. Several Young Pyro clones whacked at his armored form with whiffle bats. "For the last time, I am not filled with candy!"

"SOMEBODY GET ME OFF THIS THING!" Remy screamed rolling by strapped to the outside of a giant satellite dish. "I'M GONNA BE SICK!"

"Rolly, rolly, rolly!" Several Young Pyro clones cheered as they happily directed the satellite into a wall.

CRASH!

"Bloop! Bloop! Bloop!" A pack of Young Pyro clones appeared wielding guns that shot blobs of chocolate pudding. They shot pudding everywhere including each others mouths. "Mmmm! Yummy!"

"GAAAKKKKKK!" Remy sputtered as he was plastered with pudding.

"YAY!" A herd of fire puppies and platypuses ran around with a Young Pyro clone directing their movements. "Be free my flamey, fire animal friends!"

CRASH!

"WAHOOOOOO!" The Young Pyro clone controlled motorcycle sped outside the doorway now towing a disheveled Magneto behind it.

"AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!" Magneto screamed. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"This is insane!" Piotr shouted.

"If we go...go insane!" The Young Pyro clones sang as they dragged a bound Sabertooth towards a large blasted hole in the floor. "We can all...go together! In this wild...wanton world! We can all break down...forever!"

"HELP!" Sabertooth screamed.

"Looks like everybody's having a bloody ripper of a time!" Pyro grinned setting down his passenger. "Stay here mates! I'm gonna go set up a surprise!"

"Yay!" Several Young Pyro clones cheered.

"What? Pyro get back here!" Piotr shouted as he was whacked. "Stop encouraging your clones!"

"QUIT ROLLING ME AROUND!" Remy screamed as the satellite tumbled back across the floor. "NO NOT INTO ANOTHER WALL!"

CRASH!

"Off with their heads!" Young Pyro clones giggled as they sliced watermelons in half using a small makeshift guillotine.

"WAHOOOOOO!" More Young Pyro clones flew through the air on rocket packs made of fire.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and in the hole-he-goes!" The Young Pyro clones chanted as they tossed Sabertooth in.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sabertooth shrieked as the Young Pyro clones began to bury him alive.

"I wonder what Uncle Gambit and Uncle Piotr would look like bald?" A Young Pyro clone held up razor with an evil grin.

"WHAT?" Remy yelped.

"Hey mates!" A Young Pyro clone piped up. "I just walked into some weird machine that zapped me with light and made me look blue!"

"Oh no," Piotr gulped while still hanging from the ceiling. "He must have activated Magneto's machine and gotten new powers!"

"Watch what I can do!" The Young Pyro clone chirped and held out a hand.

"Aaahhhhhh!" Piotr yelped as a beam of light shot out from the clone's hand and created a strange portal in midair.

"Neat! Let's find out where it goes!" All the Young Pyro clones cheered and rushed into the portal. "Maybe we'll find new stuff for us to burn!"

"That was close," Piotr blinked as the portal disappeared. "At least he did not have the power to make clones of us."

"Gahhhhhh!" Sabertooth gasped as he broke free of his confinement and dragged himself out of the hole.

"It is over?" Remy wheezed woozily from where the satellite dish lay half buried into a wall.

"I think so," Piotr moaned at the anticlimactic ending.

"Okay all you mini-mes! I got the trampoline and propane tanks all set up!" Pyro rushed in holding an armful of fire batons and rubber chickens. "Hey! Where did they all go?"

"I don't know," Remy groaned. "And I hope they never, ever come back!"

"Aw," Pyro pouted toying with a baton. "And I was looking forward to taking them to the zoo. Hope they're okay."

"Gah?" Sabertooth twitched as he lay sprawled out on his back. "Pyros...everywhere...fire...no...no..."

"Well, no sense letting the acetylene go to waste," Pyro perked up and skipped out of the room. "Fire fountains here I come!"

"Ohhhhhh," Magneto crawled in with his clothes heavily torn up. He had finally managed to remove the super glue from his eyes. " I can't believe I survived...I can't believe I survived..."

"There," Piotr freed himself from hanging from the ceiling. He unceremoniously fell to the floor. "Oooh. I think I hyper extended my knee."

"Mags? Do you have a sample of Sabes' blood loaded in your machine?" Remy gasped with eyes going in circles. "Cause I could sure use having a temporary healing factor right about now."

"NO!" Magneto yelled getting up and bracing himself against a wall. "I will never use that cursed machine again! As soon as I get some feeling back in my legs I'm going to destroy that infernal thing and all the blood samples once and for all!"

"You will?" Piotr blinked.

"You bet I will!" Magneto shouted. "Anything that has even the remotest possibility of unleashing more Pyros into this world should never be allowed to exist! Ever!"

"Well, there is always the chance that Pyro will end up having children someday," Piotr ventured.

"Thanks Piotr for putting that nightmare into my head," Remy shuddered. "The only thing scarier than Pyro having offspring is the thought of the femme who would be crazy enough to marry him."

"I'll never conduct another experiment with Pyro again!" Magneto declared crazily. "NEVER AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME? NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!" He ran out of the room screaming.

"Well he recovered fast," Remy panted as Piotr helped him up. A piece of the ceiling broke off and crashed to the floor. "Too bad the same can't be said for my sanity."

"No more Pyros..." Sabertooth whimpered curling up into a fetal position. "No more Pyros..."

"Come on," Piotr supported Remy as they headed to the infirmary. "Do you think we will ever see Pyro's clones again?"

"Not if we're lucky," Remy groaned.

"We are never lucky," Piotr reminded him.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro's insane laughter echoed in the distance.

FA-WAAAP! FA-WAAAP!

BOOOOOM!

"After all," Piotr sighed. "There is still one Pyro left around here."

"And we're stuck with him," Remy moaned. "We're doomed!"

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "The Wish".