AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/KYUUKETSUKI SATSUJINSHA NO AKANE A Ranma 1/2-Buffy The Vampire Slayer Crossover By: The Leaping Gnome
Disclaimer: The Ranma 1/2 and Buffy Characters are copyright their respective owners and are used here without permission but with great admiration.
Note: Events in this story take place after the third season finale of Buffy, but before the beginning of season four.
IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE...
Buffy sighed, twirled Mr. Pointy, her good-luck stake. The misty graveyard got pretty cold at night, even at the end of June, making her shoulder-length blonde hair cling to the back of her neck. Absent-mindedly brushing her bangs back over her ears, she sighed. She'd been nearing the end of her nightly patrol, and had stopped to make one last pass through Sunnydale Memorial Cemetery, her favorite spot. The spot where she and Angel used to meet every night for a little necking. She smiled sadly to herself. When your ex was a vampire, "Necking" could take on a whole new meaning if you weren't careful... She'd been so lonely since he'd left, and all her other friends were leaving, too. Willow was going next week to a cram-camp in preparation for college in September, Oz's band was going on tour, Xander was leaving to go on his "Quasi-Kerouac" cross-country trip. Even Cordelia was gone. She'd left for L.A. yesterday, leaving Buffy alone to make what she could of summer. Sunnydale was pretty boring in the summertime. Nothing much seemed to happen, aside from the nightly vampire attacks that is. Giles had taken a hands-off approach ever since they'd foiled the Mayor's Ascension, leaving Buffy to patrol by herself. "Bored now... bored bored bo-red..."
Behind her, she heard the now-familiar tearing sound of a vampire digging his way out of the earth. Buffy smiled, letting the undead creature creep up until she felt it directly behind her.
"Finally! I thought you'd never wake up, sleepy!"
The vampire growled in surprise as Buffy spun sideways, sweeping her leg out and connecting with the nascent vampire's ankles, sending him sprawling to the ground. He spat the dirt angrily from his fanged mouth, finding his feet a little unsteadily. Buffy, intent on her target, didn't hear the second vampire rising up behind her. A swift lunge forward with the stake impaled the first vampire, rapid disintegration setting in the instant the wooden shaft withdrew. The second, unseen vampire leapt at Buffy's exposed back.
"Look out!!!"
Buffy whirled in time to see the second vampire slammed to the ground by a powerful flying side-kick delivered by a short-haired Asian girl wearing an off-white karate gi. With a blur of motion, the girl slapped a strip of paper inscribed with oriental writing onto the vampire's forehead. With a scream of pain, the vampire convulsed, and exploded into dust. Dusting herself off, the Asian girl turned to face Buffy, gave her a small smile and a quick bow.
"You should go home, miss." The girl said in heavily accented, halting english. "Is not too safe in such places, yes?"
"Uh... yeah... who *are* you, anyway?"
"Veddy... ahem, *very* sorry. I am Tendou Akane, Kyuuketsuki Slayer. Forgive please, I must go now..."
Akane ran off into the night, leaving a stunned Buffy in her wake.
"Slayer...?"
* * *
"Giles! Wake up, Giles! I know you're in there! Put some clothes on and get your British fanny out here!" Buffy hammered on the door of Giles' apartment with a closed fist. She stopped when she heard the sound of the lock being turned. The door opened, and a very flustered and fully dressed Rupert Giles appeared in the doorway.
"Buffy, I have guests, try to be a little more, er, restrained in your choice of words, if you please."
"Oops. Sorry, Giles.." She whispered, abashed. "But I need to talk to you. I just saw the weirdest thing at the graveyard!"
"Well, come in then. Do try to keep your voice down, please. I have neighbors, you know.
Buffy made a face, and walked in. There were two Asian girls and an young, bespectacled asian man sitting in the living room.
"Hey! That's her, Giles! You know her?" The man and Akane stood, dragging her sulky looking red-haired, pigtailed companion to her feet as well. [A red-haired Asian girl? Gotta be a dye-job], Buffy thought to herself, her fashion instinct in full gear.
"You've met? Yes, I see you have...er, this is Doctor Tofu, a fellow Watcher from Japan, and his charge, Miss Akane Tendou. The red-haired young lady is Ranma Saotome, Akane's er, iinazuke... did I say that right?" All three Japanese nodded.
"What's an in-suzuki?" Buffy asked, puzzled.
"I believe it means 'fiancee', or 'intended' Buffy, but my Japanese is not what it once was."
"Fiancee? [Wow. I'd always thought Japan was really conservative...] Well, that's peachy, but what are they doing here? Wait! Don't tell me. She's here to replace Faith, right?"
"Exactly. When Faith, er... died, last month, Akane was activated as a Slayer. The Watchers Council arranged for her to spend the summer here, so that you could take her under your wing. Unfortunately, they neglected to inform *me*, so I haven't made arrangements for their lodgings yet.
"Well, gee Giles, gimme a sec, I'll call Mom. Maybe we can put them up at our house."
Akane and Ranma were talking to each other in rapid Japanese. Ranma kept shaking her head, until Akane yelled something at her that sounded to Buffy like "Back-a". Ranma scowled and pouted. Akane sighed, and turned to Buffy.
"Tenk you very much for your offer, Buffy-san. We would be pleased to accept, if your mother agrees."
"What about Doctor Veggy-burger? Is he okay here Giles, or am I putting him up too?"
"I will be staying here with Giles-san until I have secured a flat of my own. Do not trouble yourself over me." Tofu answered in excellent, if a little formal, English. "I must say, it is a pleasure to meet the famed Buffy-sama at last." He bowed deeply to her.
"Gee, uh, thanks!" She bowed back awkwardly. "You're a lot nicer than some other Watchers I've met... err, present company excluded..." she finished, apologetically, to Giles. Akane tittered. Ranma merely looked confused.
* * *
Buffy's mom had been surprisingly pleasant about having the two Japanese girls as guests, once she got over her annoyance at having the idea sprung on her after midnight on a work-night. Buffy cheerily walked the two girls home.
"So, uh, Akane... How are you finding Slayerhood?" Akane smiled quietly.
"It is... not too bad so far, Buffy. I was already a trained martial artist before Dr. Tofu awakened my powers, so it was not a too great shock. I enjoy destroying Kyuuketsuki, Oni and Youma, it is a good purpose. It *has* been hard on Ranma, I'm afraid."
Ranma, hearing her name mentioned, looked over. [She really is quite pretty,] Buffy thought. [It's no wonder Akane's attracted to her. Too bad she's such a grouch.]
"How do you mean, hard on her?"
"Before my powers were awakened, Ranma was very proud of having superior skill at the martial arts. Since I assumed my duties, we are much more evenly matched. She cannot beat me with any er... regularity? Yes."
"Oh. Little jealous?"
"Very jealous." Buffy smiled over at Ranma, who was balancing, arms out, along the curb as she walked.
"Do you speak English?"
"Iie... no veddy much.. Paying no attention in class I am... was." Ranma said, in her thick accent.
"So, uhh... You two are engaged? In-suzukis, right?"
"Iinazuke. Ee-nazu-kay. By parents choice, not ours..." Ranma glared over at Akane, who glared right back.
"Wow. Lesbian arranged marriages. Japan really *is* different... well, here we are!"
They arrived at the Summers home. The lights were on, so Buffy went in the front door instead of climbing back in through the window like she normally would. Joyce Summers met them at the door.
"Hello, girls!" Joyce said, a little loudly and slower than her usual speaking voice. "I'm Buffy's mother, Joyce. It's very nice to meet you."
[Geez, Mom! They're Japanese, not deaf.]
"It is very nice to meet you, Summers-san. I am Akane Tendou, and this is Ranma Saotome. We are very honored to be your guests." Akane bowed. Ranma, after a quick cuff from Akane, followed suit.
"Oh, no, please... no need to bow on my account, come in! Come in! Oh, Ranma, I love your clothes! Those are Chinese, aren't they?" Ranma smiled awkwardly, cast a questioning glance over at Akane. Akane sighed, and translated. Nodding in comprehension, she responded in halting English.
"Hai..Yes, I tavel in China veddy moch. Arigatou... Senk you."
"Your English is very good, Ranma! A lot better than my Japanese is, anyway." Joyce smiled at her pleased houseguest. "Akane, Ranma, it's very late, so I'm going back to bed, but Buffy can show you to the guest room, okay?" Akane nodded. "I hope you don't mind sharing the bed, at least for tonight." Akane blushed, looked over at Ranma, and translated. Ranma also looked a little flushed. Joyce didn't notice, but Buffy saw the look that passed between them. [Hmm. I thought they'd look forward to that, what with being... Ahh, whatever. Not my business.] Joyce headed back up the stairs.
"Goodnight, girls... Buffy?"
"Yeah, Mom?"
"I'll talk to *you* tomorrow, young lady."
"Uh oh...."
* * *
The first thing Buffy did after seeing the girls to their room was to grab the phone and punch in Willow's number into the mobile receiver.
[Please don't be on the internet, please don't be on the internet...] The phone only rang once before Willow picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Wil!"
"Buffy! Hi! What's up? Sorry I couldn't come out on patrol with you tonight. Oz and the band were playing at the Bronze, so..."
"No probs, girl! Gotta spend all the time you can with him before the tour, right? Listen... Guess who just showed up?!"
"Angel? He came back?! Oh, that's so great! I can't believe how really great that is.... Oh, no... you're not saying anything and that means I'm wrong and now you're gonna get really upset! Please don't get upset...."
"Uh, no, Willow, and thanks ever so for bringing up that name."
"Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry! I'm so stupid! Bad Willow! Bad!"
"You're forgiven, Wil. Try again, and this time, no ex boyfriends."
"Oh. Gee. Well, my next guess was gonna be that Pike guy you told us about, but, hmm... Okay, good someone or bad someone?"
"Definitely not bad... but I dunno about all the way good..."
"I give up! C'mon, Buffy, spill!"
"The new Substitute Slayer."
"Oh, wow! I hope she's nicer than You-know-who..."
"No argument there. She seems really nice, but she's still learning English, so I haven't been able to pump her for much info. She's from Japan, and engaged, and she brought her fiancee with her. That much I know."
"From Japan? Cool! Can't wait to meet her! Did you know I can speak Japanese?"
"No way!"
"Uh-huh... You know how my parents send me to computer camp and summer school and things like that every summer? Well, the year before you came to Sunnydale I met this really nice Japanese girl at cram-camp and she taught me the language over the summer. I never learned to read it, but I can understand it and speak it pretty well! Did you say she's engaged? I thought you Slayer types weren't encouraged to hook up like that..."
"Well, it's my understanding that it's an arranged marriage, that her folks set it up before she became a Slayer... But that isn't the strangest part. Her fiancee's a girl, can you believe it?"
"Wow... Kim told me that same-sex couples were tolerated in Japan, at least more than they are here, but I had no idea that they could get married! Better not tell Xander..."
"What d'you mean?"
"Lesbians and Xander are a dangerous mix..."
"Don't tell me Xander's prejudiced!"
"No... let's just say that he's a big lesbian fan. Go-o-o-o Lesbians!"
"Hmm. Well, he'd better not act like a creep around them. Akane and Ranma are nice..."
"Ranma? That's a boy's name, I think..."
"Huh. Well, maybe she's the butch, I don't know... Anyway, you wanna talk to 'em? They're staying across the hall in the spare room..."
"I dunno, Buffy, what if they're, y'know... busy?"
"Tsk. Let me check..."
"Buffy!"
"I'm just gonna listen at the door for a sec. If I hear anything too happy, I won't disturb them."
"All right..."
"Nope, they're just talking. I'll go on in."
* * *
A few minutes earlier, after they had unpacked their things, Akane and Ranma stared shyly across the bed at one another.
"< Boy, these Americans are pretty liberal, huh?>" Ranma said in Japanese.
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Buffy knocked once on Ranma and Akane's room door and walked in.
"Hey guys, a friend of mine'd love to speak..." She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes came to rest on the shirtless, dripping wet, dark-haired boy sitting on the floor. Her hand slackened and she dropped the phone to the floor. Willow's voice from the earpiece echoed around the room.
"Buffy? What's the matter? Buffy? Hang on, Buffy, I'll be right there!"
"Who.. what... is *he* doing here? Who *is* that?! Where's Ranma?"
The dark haired boy looked panicked. He backed away, babbling in Japanese.
"Gomen, gomen, Buffy-san! Bore-wa Saotome Ranma desu..!"
Akane's eyes rolled heavenward.
"Ranma! Eigo hanashite bakayo!"
She turned to Buffy, an apologetic look on her face as she continued in English.
"Buffy-san, he *is* Ranma. This very long story..."
* * *
Willow ran out her front door, Slayerette backpack over one shoulder. As she raced to save her best friend from what was no doubt another Hellmouth-fueled demon or killer zombie or shape-changing vegetable, she mentally ran over the contents of her pack.
[Stakes? Check. Cross? Check. Holy Water? Check. Spellbook? Check. Crossbow? Check. Okay, Willow, you're all set to kick some booty... in a spiritual sense, of course... ]
Huffing and puffing, she sprinted up Buffy's block and rounded the turn into the back yard. The spare key was still where Buffy had told her it was. As quietly as she knew how, Willow opened the door and snuck into the kitchen. She listened hard. No screams, no punches being thrown... [I hope I'm not too late!] She crept up the stairs, cross in one hand, holy water vial in the other. She winced and froze as a stair creaked underfoot, but nothing came out of the darkness to grab her. Whew. So far so good, Willow... maybe now would be a good time to go home and call in reinforcements...
She reached the top of the stairs and saw Buffy's door was open, her room empty. Steeling herself, she pushed the door of the guest room open, cross in front of her.
"Okay, vampire! Freeze!" She peeked one eye open, took in the scene.
Buffy was sitting on the bed with the Japanese girl, and a strange wet Japanese boy was plunked down on the floor. All three wore bemused expressions.
"Willow...?"
"Buffy...? What's going on?! I thought you were in trouble..."
"Willow, this is Akane Tendou, and her fiancee Ranma Saotome. I think..."
* * *
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"What's he saying, Wil?"
"Hold on Buffy, this is neat.
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Buffy glanced uncomprehendingly back and forth between Akane and Willow, looking for all the world like a spectator at a tennis match as the rapid-fire Japanese continued.
"Will somebody *please* speak English so I know what's going on?"
"Oh, sorry, Buffy... Just a second. I think I have a spell here for languages, just let me dig it out..."
"That's my little Sabrina!"
Willow pulled out her spellbook and scanned the pages.
"A-ha! Now, if only I brought some newt's toes... Here!" She mumbled a few words in a strange, burbling language, and the cellophane packet of newt's toes dissipated into a puff of smoke.
"How's that, everybody?"
"H-hey! I can understand you!" Ranma said in perfect English.
"And I can understand you, Ranma!" Buffy exclaimed. "Good stuff, Wil! You really *are* getting good at this..."
"It's a gift..." Willow answered, smiling proudly.
"So... What exactly is the story here, people? What's up with the gender-bending?"
"Hey, I'd love to hear it again... don't mind me..." Willow cheerfully piped.
Akane smiled, relief evident in her features.
"It's a little complicated, so bear with me, okay? Ranma and his father were on a decade-long training journey in China. Two years ago, they ended up in a place called Jusenkyo, which means 'Training Ground of Cursed Springs'. There's over a hundred springs there, and each one carries a terrible curse that befalls anyone who happens to fall into the waters. Of course, Ranma and his dimwit father had no idea exactly what they were getting themselves into, 'cause neither of them can understand a word of Chinese..."
"Hold on a minute... you mean they went to China for ten years and they didn't even bother to learn the lingo? Talk about mondo stupidity..."
"Yeah, well..." Ranma interjected in a surly tone. "Nobody's ever accused my Pop of bein' a rocket scientist or nothin'..."
"Do *you* want to tell the story, Ranma, or shall I?" Ranma grunted non-comittally. "Fine. then keep it zipped." Akane turned back to Buffy.
"So, anyway, there they are in Jusenkyo, and their local guide is trying to warn them, but being the pig-headed idiots they are, they don't listen. Sure enough, within ten seconds, Ranma's father falls into the Spring of Drowned Panda, and he pops back out again as a giant Panda, if you can believe it..." "Spring of Drowned Panda?! So... the victim of the curse turns into whatever critter drowned there in the first place?"
"Right in one, Buffy. Except this particular panda is also a master of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, so next thing you know, Ranma here's taking a dip too."
"Lemme guess. Spring of Drowned Girl, right?"
"You catch on quick..."
"So, uh... how come he changed back? Did the curse just wear off or something?"
"Huh. I *wish*." Ranma interrupted. "The way the curse works is that everytime I get hit with cold water, I turn into a girl. Hot water changes me back, but only until the next time..."
"Huh. Geez, you'd make a mint in showbiz, Ranma. Didja ever consider the movies?"
"No thanks. S'bad enough I change, but as far as i'm concerned, the fewer people know about this, the better. It's embarrassing!"
"It's not so bad... At least you make a cute girl..."
"That's the worst part! I don't know how American high school guys are, but Japanese ones are animals! There's this one jerk, Kunou, tries to jump my bones every time he sees me in girl-form. I've been sexually harrassed, fondled, groped and molested, not to mention becoming the favorite victim of a dirty old panty-stealing man... I've even had nude pictures of me sold to half the school! Believe me, It's a relief to get out of that nuthouse... Even if it's only for the summer."
"What about you, Akane? Do you have to worry about cold water too?"
"No, thank heavens. The only things I have to worry about are vampires and assorted denizens of the underworld."
Buffy, Akane and Willow shared are giggle.
"So, how'd you guys end up engaged? No offense, but... you seem a little young... not to mention the fact that you haven't stopped arguing since I met you..."
"Long story made short, it was our fathers' idea. They used to train under the same Sensei, so when they had kids, they decided to combine our Schools and marry us off. Nobody asked us, of course, but..." She shrugged. "We've kinda gotten used to the idea by now, but that doesn't mean we like it."
"That really sucks, guys! Did you guys have, like, sweeties of your own before this mess?"
"Ranma did."
"I did not!!!"
"What do you call Ukyou, then?!"
"That was Pop's idea... *again*..."
"Didn't see *you* complaining..."
Ranma stuck out his tongue, and gave evidence that the raspberry is truly international. Akane ignored him, continuing her story.
"I don't really care all that much for guys my own age... they're all pretty dopey, present company included..." She smirked. "But Ranma here's quite a casanova! At last count, he had three, er... two other fiancees besides me!"
"Ranma!" Buffy and Willow looked scandalized.
"Hey, it's not my fault! My dad has a habit of selling me to pay off bad debts. It's not as if I actually go after these girls, it's just a new one seems to show up roughly every six months, that's all."
"Your dad sounds like a total weenie..." Willow commented.
"Definitely."
"I think your dad and my dad should get together and go bowling..." Buffy murmured.
Willow sat up straight as an idea hit her between the eyes.
"Hey, you guys! I bet I might be able to help you out! I picked up a book yesterday at the occult shop all about water spells... maybe it has a chapter on cursed springs!"
"I don't know, Willow..." Akane cautioned. "Dr. Tofu's done some pretty intense research on the subject... I don't think there *is* a permanent cure for Jusenkyo's curse."
"Not so fast, Akane!" Ranma interjected. "If Willow finds something, i'm willing to try it..."
"Kewl!" Willow chirped. "I'll get right on it first thing tomorrow... Hey, Ranma! If Buffy and Akane are patrolling tomorrow night, d'you maybe wanna come with me and Xander to see my boyfriend's band play at The Bronze? They're really good..."
"Uh, sure, I guess... If you don't mind, I think i'll go as a girl. I've had my fill of jealous boyfriends..."
"Oh! Oz isn't like that at all, Ranma! Although, he *can* be kinda territorial sometimes... I think it's a wolf-thing. Be careful around Xander, though. He's nice, but he's a little bit of a goofball, and he's got a thing for women who could beat him up..."
"Terrific... Just what I need, another Kunou..."
Buffy stood, stretched her arms over her head.
"Well, Akane, Ranma... I guess you two are probably tired or jet-lagged or something. I'll walk Willow home, so you guys can turn in... Ranma, I think it'd be a good idea if you stayed as a girl in the house. I think my mom would totally wig out if she found out about your curse.
"No problem. I'm used to it..."
Willow gathered up her things, humming happily.
"Bye, guys! I'll see you tomorrow... Oh, and that language spell's gonna last until the next full moon which is in..." She ticked it off on her fingertips. "Fifteen days. So you should be able to speak and understand English until then, okay?" The two Japanese nodded, understanding.
"Bye, Willow! It was very nice to meet you!" Akane said
"Yeah, Willow! Let me know about that spell, okay?" Ranma added.
"Mmm-hmm!" Willow bopped on out, humming a happy tune.
The two American girls left, closing the door quietly behind them. Akane turned to Ranma, speaking in Japanese.
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* * *
Paulie'd seen a lot of players come and go over the past three years. Sunnydale's vampire underworld seemed to have a sort of revolving door leadership since The Slayer moved to town. First the Master bit the dust, then Spike and his psychotic squeeze Dru had breezed through town. Angelus, Mr. Twitch, and finally, the Mayor. All dead or defeated at the hands of the Slayer... Paulie had stayed alive (or undead, if you prefer,) by keeping his head down and preying solely on the blood of winos and derelicts, people nobody missed when they disappeared. Other vamps, who preferred young, healthy victims laughed at him, but where were they now? Slain, that's where. Paulie figured he'd be hanging around the Hellmouth long after the whole damn town dried up and blew away.
He'd been toying with the idea of bucking for leadership of the city's anarchic vampire population since the Mayor bought the big one last week. He'd made a few discreet inquiries, called up a few favors... he might have a shot... At a hundred and twenty-seven years, there weren't too many vampires left in Sunnydale older than he was, and those that were tended to stay out of sight.
He'd gathered together what few vamps he remembered from the old days, when The Master was nominally in charge. Most of the newer bloods were either dead or running with that bitch up at the university, so it was a pretty old crowd tonight. Only one vampire younger than fifty years was present. That's not to say the group looked old, by any means. An innocent passerby would probably think they were a group of about twenty young toughs out looking for trouble. They met down at the waterfront, where the fog and the canal provided plenty of escape routes should The Slayer pay a visit...
"Awright, youse mooks! Listen up!" Paulie yelled. The motley collection of vampires, zombies and assorted demons stopped talking and turned to face the burly ex-longshoreman standing on top of the wooden crates. Paulie had been a merchant marine before his change, and he still carried the bulk around with him. "Mosta youse guys know me, or hearda me. I'm Big Paulie, I work the mission district and the soup kitchens..." A few nodded, others snorted scornfully.
"Yeah, yeah... Well, I'm here to ask youse guys if ya wants me as yer boss. Now hold on! I ain't all flash 'n trash like Spike or Angelus, but I ain't never brought The Slayer down on my buddies, neither. Think about it..." A murmur of agreement passed through the crowd. Big Paulie had a rep as a stand-up guy, for a vampire... Charlie Finster, a Chaos demon from the fifteenth host of the Abyss, raised his hand.
"Ya gotta question, Charlie?"
"Yeah, Paulie... Whatcha gonna do 'bout the second Slayer?"
"Second Slayer? The Mayor's little chippie? Ain't she dead? Or in a coma or somethin'?"
"Naw, not her. The new one!"
"Yeesh! Dese broads are like roaches! They just keep comin'... Okay, listen... Here's da deal... we keep outta sight, only prey on the rummies and hopheads, and they'll never notice us..."
"Aw, c'mon, Paulie! I gotta bizness ta run! I need the young stuff..."
"Well, geez, Charlie! If you'd stuck to the old farts and bums like I does, ya would'nta hadda deal with that police raid that put youse in dutch wit da Mayor last year, wouldja?"
"Fuggedit, Paulie. I can't eat the old ones! They're too stringy!"
"Ahh, whatever, Charlie. Anybody else got a question?" A blond haired Zombie raised a rotting hand, dropping clods of dirt and meat on his neighbor's head.
"Yeah.. Hey, Paulie, I still wanna know what you're gonna do about the new Slayer!"
"I already answered that... Anybody got any *other* questions?"
"Naw, screw that, Paulie! Nobody's gonna listen to you unless you can do something about the Slayers! If you ain't got no ideas, than i'm goin' back to my crypt to watch the game!"
"Hey, c'mon Joey! Gimme a sec-" The crowd was dispersing, shuffling, walking or oozing off.
"Is this a closed meeting, or may anyone speak?" An accented, masculine voice echoed through the fog..
They crowd stopped, looked around... who had said that?
Two figures stepped out of the fog, standing atop the prow of the tanker moored at the end of the pier. The male was tall, at least six feet, with long straight black hair swirling around his shoulders. Moonlight glinted off the round sunglasses he wore. His hands were hidden in the wide sleeves of his black silk shirt crossed across his chest. His companion was no less exotic. Much shorter than the man, she wore a matching black silk outfit, gathered at the waist and ankles. She held a pair of spiked maces in her hands, and her shockingly-purple hair was elaborately styled, held in place with silver combs and ornaments. Her oriental eyes flashed with a red vampiric light. Once all eyes were upon him, the man spoke again.
"I am... *quite* familiar with this new Slayer of which you speak... My companion and I have pursued her here from her home in Japan. Shall I kill her for you?" A murmur of surprise passed through the crowd. Paulie, nervous, decided to take the measure of the strangers.
"We've heard that line a few times, pally! What makes you think you can take out one Slayer, let alone two?"
"Heh... Try me, gwailo..."
Paulie snarled, manifesting his vampiric features. No way was he lettin' some snot-nosed new bloods fresh off the boat take *his* post. He'd waited too damn long!
With a roar, the burly vampire leapt up to the top of the stack of crates.
"C'mon, ya dumb chink! I pass scrawny little geeks like you in my stool !!"
The tall asian man chuckled, and leapt straight up. For a moment, he was silhouetted against the fog-shrouded moon. Throwing his arms out, his wide sleeves billowed open, and a flurry of chitinous...things... shot out, pinning the American vampire to the bulkhead of the tanker. Paulie was stuck like a bug, the metallic, cord-like tendrils of metamorphic flesh pulsing before growing barbs and knife-like edges. He screamed as the blades tore through his undead flesh, causing excruciating pain. The other ends remained attached up the oriental vampire's sleeves, writhing as through each tentacle was independently alive.
"Hyaargg! D'ya... this'll finish me...punk? You're... dumber'n y'look..." Paulie flexed his corded, screaming muscles hard, ripping away from the bulkhead and falling to the ground. Unsteadily, he rose to his feet, ropy pseudopods still piercing his body.
"Heh-heh... I am not done yet, round-eye..." He alit gracefully on the ground twenty feet away from his victim. With a ripping jerk, he withdrew the hooked and bladed tendrils back into his sleeves, taking pieces of Paulie with them. Old blood and vampiric ichor fountained, spraying like a fine mist across the gathered spectators, who whooped with glee at the gory display.
Paulie still stood, barely alive... "Hmm... You *are* sturdy, round-eyed fool." He turned to his female companion, who was still perched on the prow of the barge.
"My dear? Would you take care of this? I've grown bored..."
"Yes, my Airen... "
She leapt with blinding speed off the prow, streaking by Paulie's tattered form. With a lightning-quick stroke of her spiked mace, Paulie's head separated from his neck, flying into the canal as the headless body disintegrated, necrotizing instantly. The crowd gasped in horror and glee.
The oriental pair embraced, ignoring the cheers and gasps of the assembled monsters for but a moment.
"Well, now... I repeat... Shall I kill the Slayers for you? Will you then acknowledge us as your masters?"
The creatures roared their assent.
"Know then, that I am Mu-tsu. My beloved is Xian-pu. By tomorrow night, we shall be your lords..."
* * *
At Giles' apartment, He and Dr. Tofu were setting up the sofa-bed.
"Well, there you go, Doctor... I'm afraid it's not terribly comfortable, but..."
"Nonsense, Giles-san. It's more than enough. You're hospitality is more than generous."
"Not at all, Doctor... Now, if we're done being insufferably polite, perhaps you can tell me the real reason why you and your two charges are here..."
"W-why, Giles-san... Whatever do you mean? As I said, The Council of Watchers-"
"Poppycock! The Council would never authorize such a thing! Surely you must be aware that I have been formally excommunicated... I am hardly in any position to be advising a new Watcher of his duties, or training a Slayer. I have watched as two young girls died in that capacity, and seen a third's life turned upside down. I am *quite* tired of my duties, and have been looking forward to a vacation. So I must ask again, sir; Why have you come?"
"Ah... Well..." The younger man sat on the edge of the bed. He sighed sadly, removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. "It is a very long story, Giles-san..."
"I have nothing if not time to spare. Pray enlighten me."
"Before I was activated as a Watcher, I had a small chiropractic and acupuncture practice in Nerima, a commuter suburb of Tokyo. Ever since she was a very little girl, I have looked after Akane and, more recently, her iinazuke Ranma. It is important for you to know that Ranma is a very honest and honorable person, but i'm afraid... also something of a trouble- magnet. Since returning from a training voyage in China, Ranma has earned a reputation as the greatest fighter in Nerima. There were always challenge matches to fight, grudges to be held, rivals to vanquish. It has been a very difficult two years for the child. For some time, I believed that it was Ranma who was destined to become The Slayer, but... At any rate, it was Ranma who was the first, unwitting cause of the trouble last month."
"While in China, Ranma defeated a woman named Xian-Pu in ritual combat. Xian-Pu is a member of a tribe of women warriors, The Nyanichiczu. They have many strange customs, foremost of which is the law that any outsider who defeats a tribeswoman in battle must either be killed or must marry the defeated tribeswoman. Although she originally planned on killing Ranma, Xian-Pu soon fell in love, and changed her mind. Intent on marriage, she pursued Ranma to Japan, where she made a constant nuisance of herself with myriad plots and schemes to entrap her 'Airen' into wedlock."
"Forgive me, Doctor, but I'm afraid I seem to be a little confused..." Giles interrupted. "I was not aware that female homosexuality was so openly accepted in the Orient. Is Ranma's case unusual?" Dr. Tofu smiled.
"I'm afraid it's not a case of lesbianism at all, Giles-san. You see, Ranma is a boy."
"I *beg* your pardon?"
Dr. Tofu took a moment to explain the curse of Jusenkyo to a stunned Giles.
"I... see... How unfortunate... Perhaps, if the vast majority of the books in my library had not been blown up, I might have been able to find a cure for the poor lad... Well, do go on... You were talking about a Chinese girl..."
"Quite right, Giles-san... Xian-Pu... A delightful girl, truly. She worked for me as a nurse for a time... while she was not pursuing Ranma, that is. She was, in fact, being pursued herself by a young man of her own village, a rejected suitor named Mu-Tsu. A very dangerous young man..."
"I'm afraid none of us took Mu-Tsu terribly seriously at first, even though he called himself the Master of Dark Magic. Although we soon learned he was indeed an Adept, the fate that befell him proved that he was no Master..."
"He attempted to conjure a minor demon to grant him power enough to defeat Xian-Pu so that she would accept his suit as legitimate, but he made a mistake during some part of the incantation. The demon possessed him, and-"
"Made him a vampire. Oh dear..." Giles mopped his forehead nervously.
"Yes. With the powers granted him by his vampiric state, as well as his existing skill in the martial arts, he was easily able to defeat Xian-Pu. By her own law, she was his to do with as he pleased. He promptly made her his vampiric consort, and together they went after his only rival, Ranma Saotome."
"Akane's iinazuke."
"Exactly. Her powers as a Slayer were activated only shortly before Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu's attack on her family's Dojo. She and Ranma managed to fight them off, but there were casualties. The Dojo's founder, Happousai, was slain by Xian-Pu after he unwisely attempted to commit a mischief on her person. His death was not greatly mourned. Kuh-Lohn, Xian-Pu's great-grandmother and matriarch of her village, fell to Mu-Tsu in an act of vengeance. We lost a valuable and powerful ally in her. But the greatest tragedy was the loss of Kasumi, the eldest of the three Tendou sisters. She f-fell to Mu-Tsu's fangs... She was so very kind and gentle, she had no chance against him... We were t-too late to save her..." Tears began to run down Tofu's face as the memory washed over him. "I-I loved her, very much... I drove the stake into her heart myself when she arose... I could at least grant her soul rest..."
"I'm very sorry, Doctor... I lost someone... very close to me to a vampire as well... I can imagine how you must feel. Forgive me, but, how did you three end up defeating the vampires?"
"To our sorrow, we could not... Akane was too new to her gifts, and Ranma and myself were simply outmatched. It was not until we learned certain esoteric techniques from the Manou family, who are themselves famed Devil Hunters, that we were able to make a significant dent in their plans. To protect what remained of the Tendou and Saotome houses, we fled here to America and Buffy-sama, leaving Akane's surviving sister and Father, and Ranma's own father, under the protection of the Manous until we are ready to defeat the vampires..."
Giles stood, placing his hands on Tofu's shoulders. He looked the younger man in the eye.
"Don't you realize that Xian-Pu and Mu-Tsu will follow you? If their hatred for Akane and Ranma is so strong, they'll come here to Sunnydale for certain!"
"True... We hope, however, that we have some time... time to train under Buffy-sama and yourself... To prepare for their arrival. We believe that they will be reluctant to travel by boat, due to a fear of water, so we think we have some time. But Xian-Pu is an excellent tracker. It will not be long..."
"They're afraid of water? Is this some characteristic of Oriental vampires?"
"Merely a phobia, in this case. Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu were once victims of Jusenkyo curses of their own. I do not know whether or not their transition to an undead state has affected that. They certainly seem in no hurry to test the theory themselves."
"I see... Well. this *is* quite a predicament Doctor... I'm sure Buffy would be willing to help, but... If these two vampires are this powerful..." He sighed. "Only a week ago we faced a Demon Ascension, and Buffy is still reeling from the fight... I'm not sure that they *can* be defeated, not now..." ************************************
END PART ONE
End Notes: Well, I'd originally planned this as a one shot set in Nerima, but it sort of took on a life of it's own after seeing the Season four premiere. I have no idea how long this 'fic is going to end up being, but I'm having fun with it, so who knows?
If you'd like to pre-read my stuff, or just have questions, comments, etc.. E-mail me at