It has been awhile hasn't it? This has been sitting on my computer for quite awhile, I kind of forgot about it-oops.

Disclaimer: Neither Supernatural or Vampire Diaries belong to me in any way, shape, or form.

Author's Notes: This story is an AU, I picture it happening somewhere around Season 1 for Vampire Diaries and Season 4 for Supernatural. There is some slight OOC- I tried to keep it to a minimum.

Warnings: This story contains wincest. If this isn't your bag leave now, you have been warned.

"So the boy falls off the wagon because of a little blood, is that a crime? C'mon, we're vampires; it's the natural order of things. Look at me, I drink human blood and I'm fine. But not Steffan. Oh no. Mr. Perfect always has to be in control, has to pay for his sins and be all broody about it. Little brothers, pain in the ass let me tell you."

Dean nodded in agreement and clinked glasses with Damon. Damon had just given Dean proof on a theory he had that all little brothers were emo bitches. 'Dude, this vampire was awesome!' Dean knew there was something wrong with the thought he'd just had and gave his glass of whiskey a jaundiced eye before giving a shrug and swallowing what was left.

"Pain in the ass is right, literally, in my case. I got over Sammy having demon blood and having visions. I've even accepted that the boy's going to be the Antichrist but now he wants me to be his Unholy Consort. I've gone to Hell for my brother once, I'm not really eager to go back," Dean paused in deep thought before an evil smirk appeared on his face, "although, there are a few perks I can think of to a trip down south."

Damon raised an eyebrow in fascination at the human before him. This boy was certifiable. He was just Damon's kind of crazy. He clapped an arm around Dean before rolling his eyes when Steffan showed up in front of them.

"Damon, where's Elena?"

Damon shrugged.

"Haven't seen her. I've been spending a congenial evening with Dean here, commiseratering over those of us cursed with little brothers."

Steffan scowled. His scowl deepened when Dean chimed in too.

"Man do I know that face, it looks just like Sammy's bitch face. I'll give you the same advice I gave him; you need to get laid."

Damon smirked.

"Oh he has a girl, his beloved Elena. They consummated their love awhile back."

Dean gave Steffan a considering look.

"Are you sure you're doing it right? You shouldn't be brooding like that if you're getting regular action."

Damon chuckled and took a drink when he saw something he never thought he'd see. He blinked but nope it was still there and getting closer, maybe he'd had too much to drink.

"Dean, there seems to be an extremely pissed off tree heading towards you."

Dean hunched over his drink trying to become invisible, needless to say it didn't work. He could feel Sam's bitch glare burning into his back. Dean muttered a quick, "dammit" before he turned his best shit-eating grin on his brother.

"Hey Sammy, didn't expect to see you here."

Sam frowned at him and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Dean. Time to go big brother."

Dean gave his brother an appraising look before nodding and tossing back his drink. Damon watched the back and forth between the brothers and couldn't help but snort.

"You really are his bitch aren't you."

Dean glared.

"Stow it, bloodsucker."

Steffan scowled at Damon; Sam scowled at Dean.

"You told him you were a vampire."

"You were drinking with a vampire."

Damon looked at Dean in awe.

"It's uncanny."

Dean quickly poured more whiskey into his glass and knocked it back. Damon clinked his glass against Dean's empty one.

"I feel your pain."

Sam's eyes started to burn with an amber glow as he spoke with a tightly leashed anger.

"Dean why don't you enlighten my on why you thought it was a good idea to be drinking buddies with a vampire."

Dean blew out an exasperated breath.

"Chill Samantha, it was just drinking- not like I was going to let him sample the Winchester vintage."

Sam slammed his hands on the bar top caging Dean in.

"Now is not a good time to test me Dean."

Just that quickly Dean's good mood vanished.

"It's never a good time for you anymore Sam. But I've been thinking about it and if you let me gank Meg and Ruby then we'll talk about this fascination that you've developed for my admittedly stunning ass."

Sam leaned in and licked Dean's neck adding a sharp nip as he worked his way to his brother's lips.

"Dean you can't go around killing off my army."

"Both of us hate Meg, Sammy. And Ruby, do you really want to sleep on the couch all because you wouldn't let your Consort kill one measly demon?"

Sam nodded in consideration; it was a good bargain coming from his brother.

"You agree to be mine."

Dean exhaled sharply, "okay." As Sam leaned in to kiss his brother, Dean turned to pay his tab. Dean faced his brother with a broad grin. "Saddle up Sammy, we've got some evil bitches to hunt."

Damon and Steffan watched the two brothers leave. Damon was grinning but that grin grew when his vampire hearing caught Dean's exasperated, "you know I probably would have said yes soon anyway, you've been cockblocking me for months." He could tell by the horrified look on Steffan's face that he'd heard too. Oh this was glorious.

"You know Steffan I wonder if a little incest could improve our broken bonds?"

The disgusted look he got was its own reward. He really was quite enjoying this trip home.

El fin

Legessa

Creator of chaos and destruction since 1982