Author Note:

Random: HI! Yes I've started another story! I really shouldn't but Where It Began is stressing me out so I had to take a break from it.

Hikaru: It's kind of funny to watch.

Kaoru: She almost pulled her hair out.

Random: *Pout* They don't need to know that.

Hikaru: Yes they do.

Random: *Glare* So, anyway, I got this idea by reading a story about James wishing he had never been born and then a angle took him around to show him what would have happened if he hadn't and this is kind of one of the scenario's. It's not the same thing that happened but the result it the same. Im not going to tell, because then it ruins the surprise.

Kaoru: DISCLAIMER: Radom no own anything but plot!

Random: WARNINGS: Yes I'm doing the warnings Hikaru.

Hikaru: *Pout*

Random: Okay, so, I'm not sure it this is going to go past T. I want to try and actually write a 'T' story, but I make no promises! It more than likely will be bumped to 'M'. I'm just not completely sure yet, so I'm setting the rating at 'T'. If your reading this and suddenly is bumped to 'M' and you don't read those, I'm sorry. So you have been WARNED! Other then that this is a BoyXBoy story featuring my OTP, Kames! With a side of established Cargan.

Hikaru: Since she did my job! I'll end it. Enjoy!

*"Worse. I may have had...briefly, mind you...stirrings."-Jack Sparrow*

I.

Was.

Back!

After five years, I was back home in Minnesota. The first thing I was going to do was see Carlos! I hadn't seen him in almost two years. After the break up of Big Time Rush, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all went back to Minnesota. Don't freak out. We didn't have a fight. It was more of a… different dreams thing. I wanted to be a rock star with adoring fans! My other three friends not so much.

Carlos was now a school teacher. Not the normal kind of school teacher mind you. He was the president of his own stunt double school. That's correct, Carlos owns his own school. After the band broke up he got into stunt doubling and would travel all over the world to do stunts. Then one day, he called me and asked if I'd come to the grand opening of his school. It was a very odd thing for me. Anyway, somewhere along the way Carlos had to teach some newbie stuntees how to… well stunt. The school they had previously gone to hadn't taught them very well, so Carlos takes them under his wing and teaches them how to jump off a fifty foot building without hurting themselves. That was when Carlos found his true calling.

Logan went back to school and graduated early from Yale. He is now one of the youngest and most sought after doctors. I haven't seen Logan in three years and after I see Carlos I'm going to go see him.

The person that I'm most excited to see again was Kendall. I haven't seen him since the day I waved him off as he flew away on an airplane back to Minnesota. We didn't have a falling out, if that's what you're thinking. We just…drifted apart. I didn't really have time. What with trying to become a rock star, succeeding, and becoming a part time model, I never found time to talk to him. He wanted to be a professional hockey player and what I heard from Carlos, he made it. So, I think he was just about as busy as me. We didn't have time, but I am going to make up for it!

I smiled as I walked out of the airport, breathing in the Minnesota air that I have missed so much. I brought my stuff over to a nearby taxi that I had called in earlier so it would be there. I gave the driver the address to Logan and Carlos' house after loading all my stuff in. I would be staying there for the duration of my vacation. You're probably wondering why I said Logan and Carlos' house. Well about a year after the break up, those two got together and have been for the last four years. One of my goals is to get Carlos to propose to Logan before I leave again.

I smiled happily as I watched the scenery flew by. I've missed this place. Don't get me wrong, I loved L.A, but Minnesota will always be my home. It had my three best friends, memories of times long ago, and a family that I miss dearly. I sat back and sighed, thinking of all the good times I've had here.

The taxi drove past the parking lot that changed my life. The parking lot that Kendall gave up his dream to help me pursue mine. The parking lot where I fell madly and deeply in love with Kendall Knight. Now you're probably wondering, 'If you loved him? Why haven't you seen him in five years? Why is he in Minnesota and not in L.A, with you?' Well, my friends, I never told him.

Yup, never told the blond god I loved him. You know that saying, if you love something set it free and if it comes back, it's yours forever? Well that's what I did. I let him have a shot at his dream, since he helped me accomplish mine. So, hopefully, during this vacation I can tell Kendall that I love him. That the love I felt for him never faded, even after five years of no contact.

I was jolted out of my thoughts, when the car stopped, rather suddenly, at a huge house. Damn! Being a doctor and school owner pays well. I jumped out of the car, grabbed all my stuff, threw the money at the driver and ran up the steps. I knocked on the door calmly, so Carlos would just think it was a normal person and not me. I heard shuffling from the other side and a muffled 'Coming'.

"Can I hel-" Carlos stopped, staring at me in disbelief.

"Hey Carlitos! Long time no see." I said softly.

Carlos blinked and blinked again. He seemed to be having trouble processing what was happening, then finally, he did. "Oh my god, JAMES!" Carlos screamed, throwing his body at me.

I laughed and caught him, hugging him close to my body, swinging him around in a circle. "Carlos! Oh dear lord, I've missed you." I said.

I set him back down and he pulled away slightly. "Me too! God, it's been way too long!" he let go of me and grabbed my hand. "Come in! I just made corndogs!"

I chuckled. Carlos and his corndogs, some things never change. Once we were in the house and I was dragged to the kitchen, Carlos handed me two corndogs. "So, how have you been, Carlitos?" I asked, eating my corndogs. I hadn't had lunch yet and I was starving.

"I've been great! The school has been keeping me busy most of the time." Carlos answered, wolfing down his first corndog.

"Really? What's been happening?"

"Well, we recently had a carnival of sorts. This year's freshmen are outstanding, so I organized them a carnival as a reward."

"Aw, that's sweet! But what about the other grades?"

"They've been great too! But the freshmen have gone above and beyond what was expected of them." He said happily. He finished his plate and put it in the sink.

"What about your relationship with Logan?" I asked, starting on my second corndog. What? I was a slow eater! I can't get my face dirty!

Carlos sighed dreamily. "Wonderful. Like yesterday, I came home early and he was off, so when I came home he'd made this amazing dinner and then after we went upstairs and he had the bed covered in rose petals and then he laid on the bed and spread those amazing legs for me and-" I nearly choked on my corndog. I threw the rest of what was on it at him, no longer hungry.

"Dude! I just asked how it was going! I don't want to know all the dirty sexy details." I gagged.

Carlos rolled his eyes and hit my shoulder lightly. "Whatever dude. You're just jealous that I am having regular sex and you're not."

"I haven't had time! This is the first vacation I've had in five years." I defended. "And you know that my heart belongs to someone else."

Carlos visibly stiffen after I said that. "Right, Kendall." He said looking down. Why did he look so sad? Did Kendall find someone else? Oh God I was too late! I waited too long! He probably has some beautiful girl or handsome guy in his arms now and I'm too late. I could feel my heart breaking. I had to know.

"Carlos? How is Kendall? I haven't got to talk to him in five years and you and Logan stopped talking about him four years ago." I asked.

Carlos snapped his eyes up to look at me. "O-Oh, um, he's fine. I guess. I don't really talk to him anymore." He said fidgeting. Okay? Weird.

"Why." I asked.

He suddenly jumped up and pulled me out of the chair I was in. "Oh my gosh! Logan forgot his lunch! Why don't you take it to him, James? Since you're back and probably wish to see him!" He thrust a paper bag in my hand. "Just say that Carlos Garcia is here to see him and they'll point you in the right direction. You can even take my car." He handed me the keys and pushed me out the door. "See you when you get back!" Then he slammed the door in my face.

Um…what just happened? I stared at the door for a moment before going to the only car in the garage and unlocked it. I got in, set the brown bag in the passenger seat and started the car. Backing out, I head in the direction of Logan's hospital.

Why did Carlos suddenly get all fidgety with the mention of Kendall? Did he get married or something? But he would have at least invited me to his wedding, even if we hadn't talked in more then five years. I was still his oldest friend, so that didn't make sense. Whatever, I'll either get it out of Logan or find out when I go see Kendall. I sighed and focused on the road.

*Line Break*

I finally made it to the hospital and made my way to the front desk.

"Can I help you?" Asked the women behind it, not looking up from her computer screen.

"Yes, um, Carlos Garcia is here to see Logan." I said.

"Go to the fourth floor take a left and it's room 414. It has his name on it." She said still looking at the screen.

"Thank you." I say as I walk away to the elevator. I press the button and wait, getting in once it opens and press the number four and wait for the elevator to stop, rocking back and forth on my heals. I'm happy I get to see Logan. I've missed him.

The doors open and I hurry to his room. 412, 413, 414! Dr. Logan Michel MD. I chuckled. So official. I knocked on the door, hearing a soft 'Come in' and opened the door. Logan sat in a huge leather chair looking at some papers.

"Whatever it is, leave it on my desk and then leave. I'm busy." Logan said, not looking up. What's with these people and not looking at who they're talking to?

I placed the bag on the table an stepped back. "If that's how you're going to treat a friend you haven't seen in four years maybe I will." I said, crossing my arms.

Logan's head shot up and he smiled widely. "James!" He yelled, jumping up from his chair and running around the desk to hug me.

I smiled and laughed. "Hey buddy! How have you been?" I asked

Logan pulled back and gave me a once over. "Great! What about you? Looking as good as ever."

I smiled. "I've been good. And of course! I'm a model." I said flipping my hair.

Logan shook his head. "Yeah. I've seen your work."

I raised an eyebrow. "Should I be telling Carlos something, Logie?"

"What? No! I've seen you on magazine covers in the grocery stores! I love Carlos, jerk!" He punched my arm to emphasize his point.

I laughed and hugged him again. "Yeah, I know. Just teasing." I let go and sat down in a chair across from his desk. "So you have time in your busy schedule to talk?"

Logan smiled and walked back around to his chair, opening the brown bag as he sat down. "Well I'm on my lunch break now so talk." He smiled.

"How's work?"

"Stressful, but that's the life of a doctor." Logan shrugged. "What about you? Mr. Model/Rock Star?"

"Great! My new album just came out, that's why I'm able to take a vacation, and I just did a shoot in Paris for the new fall line coming up. Now I'm just ready to relax." I said happily.

"Don't you have to worry about fans?"

"Yeah, but I love my fans! Besides there's not very many in this town that are our age. So, I highly doubt I'll find very many at a club or something."

Logan chuckled, finishing his lunch. "So what you doing after visiting me?"

I smiled widely. "I already visited Carlos, that's why I have your lunch, so now I'm going to go see Kendall. I haven't seen him in so long."

Logan's smile faltered. "O-Oh yeah? That's great!" He said shakily.

I just continued like I didn't notice. "Yeah! I can't wait to catch up with him! Last thing Carlos told me was he was a part of the Wilds. Maybe me and him go back to the ice rink and skate around a bit, like we used to. Or, hey! I could take him to the lake before it gets cold again!"

Logan looked down. There's that sad look again. What are they not telling me? "U-Um, I don't think Kendall can do all those things right now." He said softly.

I stopped my little daydream of a dripping wet, shirtless Kendall to look at him in confusion. "Why not?"

"B-Because-" He looked down at his watch and gasped. "Oh look at the time! My lunch break is over! I have a surgery to get ready for!" He jumped up and pushed me out the door. "I'll see you when I get home! Bye!" He said then closed the door.

Okay? What is up with Carlos and Logan? That was the second time a door was closed in my face and my question going unanswered. I sighed and turned away from the door and walked back to Carlos' car. I sat there for a moment to think.

Something was up with Kendall. Every time I mentioned him, Logan and Carlos looked down and looked sad. Are they sad for me? I can see why Carlos would be. If Kendall was with someone, Carlos would know that that would crush me, but I never told Logan. Well he is with Carlos. The little Latino could have told him. I don't know. Guess I'll find out when I talk to Kendall.

I started the car and headed to the Knight house. Even after five years Kendall still lived with his mother. Some might find that a turn off, but I find it adorable. He always was such a mama's boy. I honestly couldn't see it any other way and the only time I ever see him moving out is if he finds himself a boyfriend or girlfriend that he loves and want to spend the rest of his life with. Hopeful, that will be me.

I smiled as I pulled up to the familiar home. Memories of sleep over's and street hockey flooding my mind. I turned off the car and stepped out. I felt giddy. I was going to see my true love for the first time in five years! I bet he looks even more gorgeous then the last time I saw him.

I stepped onto the porch and knocked on the door in front of me, butterflies erupting in my stomach. I heard a yelled, 'I'll get it!' from the other side and my heart did a back flip at the familiar voice I missed so much. I wondered if anything about him had changed. With the way Carlos and Logan acted I guessed that something had and I was curious to know what. Did he get a tattoo? Get married? Have a son or daughter? That thought kind of scared me, but I loved Kendall and if loving him meant loving a child that wasn't mine then so be it! Besides, any offspring of Kendall had to be the cutest thing in the world.

The door opened and I was greeted with…nothing? I was confused, until I looked down when I heard a gasp.

"James? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" Kendall said in delighted surprise. He looked almost exactly like I remembered, but more mature and so much more beautiful. His beautiful golden hair fell into his equally, if not more, beautiful green eyes. His lips where still as kiss able as ever and those dimples that made my heart melt ever present. He was gorgeous and I fell in love with him all over again, but something had changed. Something I'd never would have guessed.

He was in a wheelchair.

*END OF CHAPTER ONE*

Random: Yup. That happened.

Hikaru: Your so cruel.

Random: Am not. This only happens to Kendall because I love him.

Twins: Cruel.

Random: So I'm excited about this story! I really like it's idea! So tell me what you think in a review, please!

Twins & Random: Until next time! Peaceness!