A New Start

Chapter One

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They belong to me in my dreams only.

Author Notes: Yeah, I know. Another getting Elliot and Liv back together story, but aren't a lot of us still hopeless romantics about these two? I saw an article in TV guide where he said he'd come back for the series finale. Let's all keep our fingers crossed. In the meantime for those of us who are shippers of these two and because it's a free country, those who are not, please just let us enjoy this story.

Olivia Benson both loved and hated Central Park. Some of the worst crimes she had ever witnessed had happened in this park. Her own life had been threatened here, but her team had been there to protect her. At the same time, some of her happiest memories were here. She never got out of the city and this little piece of heaven was her oasis when she was wiped out. It was always here for her.

So, when a case that had lasted nine days with no breaks had led to saving three little girls from certain death, she was now enjoying her first day off in a long time. She was sitting under one of her favorite trees right next to the playground and an open field where children and parents often played ball and ran around playing tag. It was nice to watch the families enjoying each other.

It was certainly the only way she would ever experience family…watching others. She had thought there for a little while that she and Hayden would find happiness together, but she realized after that relationship ended that it just wasn't in the cards for her.

She reached for another grape and tried to go back to reading the book she had brought, but instead she closed her eyes and leaned back for a bit. She was more tired than she cared to admit and she hadn't been sleeping well for…well forever. She especially hadn't found peace at night since she lost Elliot over a year ago. One pendant and a short note was all she ever got from him.

Thinking about it again only made tears well up in her eyes and she was done crying. She swiped angrily at them and sat up to reach in her small ice chest and get out a bottle of water.

Her gaze went first to the playground for a while and then it began to drift out over the field that spread itself below her. From her perch under the tree she could watch everything and everyone. It was as her eyes swept that field that she saw a small boy about five or six running after a ball, his blonde curls bouncing. Even though it had been over a year since she had seen him, she would know that child anywhere. She had clutched him to her chest in the back of an ambulance when he was born.

It was Eli Stabler.

Oh how she had missed that sweet replica of Elliot. He had his father's eyes and dimples and smile. Her eyes followed the ball he was now hefting back at the man smiling at him. Her heart skipped a beat.

It was Elliot.

Instead of the anger she expected to feel at the sight of him again she almost burst into tears and a soft sob burst from her as she blinked her eyes furiously trying to gain control of herself. They were unaware of her presence under the deep shade of the tree and she watched father and son with fascination. It had been so long…so very long.

He looked happy. As mad as she was with him she was still glad to know he was safe and happy and with his family. That's all she ever wanted for him…to be happy. She had loved him for twelve years and she liked to believe that somewhere out there he was living a life away from all the horror they saw every day. Today she got her answer.

She suddenly felt the need to get out of there. She knew he would feel guilty if he saw her and she did not want to break down in front of Eli and do the ugly cry. Elliot had rarely seen her cry in their twelve years together and she was determined he would never know how destroyed she had been this last year, except for her brief interlude with Hayden.

Her eyes briefly scanned the field looking for Kathy, but the two seemed to be alone. She was still a nurse, so maybe she was working today.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and very quickly began packing up her grapes and the rest of her little picnic lunch. As she did so she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She wanted so badly to look back one last time at father and son, but she had to get out of there…tears were welling up again.

That's when it happened. Her worst nightmare. A ball came rolling up the small hill and under her tree and she looked up at the scampering blonde as he headed straight for her. No. No. No. This could not be happening. That's when Eli saw who she was. He forgot all about the ball and launched himself at her full force, knocking her back on the blanket.

"Livvy!"

Liv couldn't help herself. She sat up, wrapped her arms around the small boy and held him close, breathing in his bath gel mixed with sweat. It was such a sweet combination. Her hands went into his curly locks. She's surprised Elliot hasn't cut them yet claiming he doesn't look manly enough.

"Eli. You remember me?"

"You betcha. I always sawed you when we would come to the police station. I miss coming to see you Livvy."

Liv held him closer.

"I miss seeing you too Eli. I miss you so much."

"I'm gonna be in kindygarden in the fall."

"Wow! You are getting to be such a big boy."

"Uh-huh. I am"

There was that Stabler confidence. She smiled down into his beautiful blue eyes.

A gravely throat clearing made her lift her gaze from the boy to the man now standing over them looking down at her with a look she could not define.

They just stared at each other for a minute, taking each other in.

Elliot was as fit as ever, maybe even lost a few pounds, but his muscles looked even bigger in the t-shirt he was wearing. She had almost always seen him in suits the last few years and they hid his muscles somewhat. Here in jeans and a tee she was overwhelmed with the sight of him. She swallowed the lump growing in her throat.

Elliot just stared back at her worrying his lower lip with his teeth and rocking on the balls of his feet. He was nervous. She knew his tail-tail signs. She knew him better than she had ever known anyone in her life. Her heart was beating erratically and she had to look away at Eli.

"Daddy got me a dog for when I visit him."

What did he just say? Visit? What the hell?

"He's a golden treever, but he's gettin' groomed right now. We's going to get him soon and bring him back to the park. Want to meet him? I named him Max."

"Of course you did. Uh, Eli, I don't know if…"

Elliot intervened thankfully.

"Hey buddy. Why don't you go hit the playground and let me talk to Olivia for a few minutes."

"Okay. See you soon Liv!"

He kissed her on the cheek, making Olivia blush at his sweetness, and ran over to the equipment howling as he went. She adored him. She was sure Elliot was just like that as a boy.

Elliot's eyes watched the boy as he left, making sure he got there and began playing before he turned back to Liv.

"Mind if I sit down?"

"Uh, are you sure you want to? I get the impression you don't really want to see me…ever."

Well, that came out angry. She hadn't planned to say it that way and she instantly saw the hurt in his eyes and wondered why he cared. Hadn't he made it perfectly clear that she was work and he was done with that?"

"LIv…"

"Fine. Have a seat."

Elliot sat down on the blanket next to her, closer than she would have been comfortable with, but she was not going to act like a schoolgirl and move away. Besides, she missed him. She missed his scent and tried to take a breath of him without looking like she was.

Each of them briefly looked at the other one when they looked away, just like that day in the coffee shop when she came back from Oregon.

They sat in silence for a while, both watching Eli chase some little girl around the playground. She was shrieking and laughing and both of them smiled at the effect the little Romeo had on her.

"You're looking leaner these days."

Liv smirked, so he'd noticed her newly toned body.

"Yeah, I didn't have you to take down the perps anymore so I decided I better get in shape. Turns out I didn't need to. My new partner is strong too."

She chanced a glance at him and saw what she thought was a reaction to her having a new partner. Did he actually look sad?

"You look good Liv, but you always looked good."

"You too."

An awkward silence fell on them again. Thanks goodness they had Eli to use as an excuse and could feign watching him play.

"I didn't know you spent time in the park."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Elliot."

"I know. Finding things out about you was like breaking into Fort Knox."

Liv's eyes flashed with anger. How dare he? She started to stand up and gather her things, but Elliot caught her wrist.

"Please don't go Liv. I'm sorry for that. I say the stupidest thing sometimes when all I really want to do is really talk to you…I need to talk to you."

Liv looked down at his hand on her wrist. It was like he was burning her.

"I don't think we have anything left to talk about Elliot. You've made yourself perfectly clear on that issue."

She watched as his jaw clamped down and he physically tried to pull her back down on the blanket.

"Stop it Elliot. You don't have the right to make demands on me anymore. I have a partner now and he takes good care of me. Now let me go."

She was stunned to see tears brimming in his eyes.

"I let you go once Liv and I don't want to ever do that again. Will you please just give me another chance?"

LIv was fighting tears as well. How could he have walked away from twelve years as best friends and not want to see or hear from her? Now in a park, meeting by accident, he thought he'd just ease his conscience? No.

"I don't think there's anything you could say to me that would make a difference. It's too late. I've moved on."

But she hasn't and she felt the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. His cheeks were wet too and in that moment she only wanted his comfort: the comfort she felt that day Sonya died, the day Eli and Kathy almost died and the day she showed up on his front steps and told him he was the longest relationship she had with a man. He still was.

"Please Liv…"

She couldn't bear the vulnerable look on his face. She had never seen him so emotionally open to her and she collapsed back down on the blanket. Without another word Elliot pulled her into his arms and held her fiercely. They were both crying…crying for what they had lost and crying over the fact that it would never be the same with them again. Their partnership was over.

Where did that leave them?

A/N: Where indeed? Let's see what the next chapter in their lives might look like.