A/N: It's been a long time since I have updated this, huh? Well, thanks to unhealthy potter obssesor, I had inspiration! UPO herself is the one who did what Artemis does in this oneshot... So it's dedicated to her!

Dedication: I dedicate "Barf in a Glove" to unhealthy potter obssesor 'cuz she's awesome like that :)

Disclaimer: See if you can catch the slightest of slight A/H in this. Since Eoin Colfer seems unable to give us that, I think we can safely assume that I don't own Artemis Fowl...

Chapter III: Barf in a Glove

"I am the person with the highest IQ in Europe, not a test dummy!" Artemis complained. "Why do I have to come along?"

"Because Holly needs a co-pilot and I can't send another LEP officer because this shuttle isn't technically cleared to carry passengers yet. But don't worry, it's my technology after all, so what could go wrong?" Foaly said into Artemis' ear via the enlarged LEP helmet he was wearing.

"Oh right, because your technology always works, centaur. Do I need to remind you of the amorphobots? Of Koboi's stealth shuttle? Of-" Artemis said.

"We get it, Artemis," Foaly said, annoyed. "But you have the best pilot of her generation here. You'll be fine."

Holly climbed into the shuttle and strapped on her harness. "Alright, let's do this, baby!" she said enthusiastically. Her and Artemis both blushed a little at her choice of words. Foaly snorted.

"Yeah, let's do this," said Artemis. His words were noticeably less enthusiastic than Holly's were.

Holly explored the controls of Foaly's latest shuttle design. How weird it felt, to be up at Fowl Manor for a strictly social visit. Foaly had gotten her the clearance, with just a slight catch - that she try out the new Lightning Bolt, as he liked to call it.

It was a sleek and new design, looking futuristic and classic at the same time. Everything was shiny, and Holly could see that the controls would need the barest of her touches to manuever the craft as she wanted. A smile lit up her face. She was in her element.

Artemis, however, was not. His place was behind the scenes, doing the planning, the plotting. He was a mastermind, not a field agent. He felt himself shake slightly.

He tried to ignore his nerves and harnessed himself to the copilot's chair. Basically, his job was to shout out the coordinates of their current position and to make sure Holly kept on track with the map Foaly had programmed into the shuttle. He said that for their help, he had a "surprise" for them at the end.

Holly took off. Artemis tried to concentrate on the holographic screen in front of his face. Holly shot into they sky, flying them at breakneck speed. She smiled to herself and began to do a series of loop-the-loops and corkscrews.

Artemis felt himself go pale. 'Uh-oh,' he thought. 'I'm not feeling so well...'

Holly realized, when they were about halfway there, that Artemis looked positively green. So did Foaly.

"'D'Arvit, Holly! He's gonna burst! Land now, do you realize how expensive this prototype was to build?" Foaly looked panicked.

Holly landed the shuttle quickly, but it was obvious that he was not going to make it until they were able to disembark. She began rummaging through her pockets and handed him the first thing she could possibly find.

Artemis promptly took off his modified LEP helmet and barfed in the glove she handed him. "Thanks," Artemis said, blushing furiously. "And I'm sorry for, you know, barfing in your glove."

"Don't worry about it," Holly said. "What are friends for, after all?" She took off again, at a MUCH slower pace this time.

When they touched down, Artemis was meditating to keep his stomach at bay, his one hand holding Holly's barf-filled glove as far away from his body as possible.

Foaly began to chuckle. "You do realize that you just puked in you girlfriend's glove?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Artemis exclaimed, blushing for the third time that day.

"Then why are you on a date?" Foaly asked, his voice seemingly innocent.

"What in Frond's name are you talking about?" Holly asked, blushing as well. Her hand was curled into a fist, although there was nothing to punch that would make her feel better.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Foaly said. The two best friends exited the shuttle cautiously.

They were in a large open field. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Laid out was a picnic lunch, containing tons of vegetarian picnic foods.

"Wow..." said Holly. The simple gesture had stunned her. "Thanks a ton, Foaly."

"No problem," said Foaly. "You guys helped me out. Also, I'll do anything to help my two best friends realize their obvious affection for each other."

"Don't push your luck, Donkey Boy," Holly growled. Foaly just snickered.

When Artemis and Holly arrived back at Fowl Manor, Butler was waiting to greet them. "How was your...whatever that was?"

"Oh, it was just like any get together between two friends. We hung out, talked, joked, had a picnic lunch, and I barfed in Holly's glove."

"What?"

A/N Is my life weird or what? XD Please review!