Just for the record, I got the idea for this after reading Irony-chan's brilliant and much funnier "A Mary-Sue Alphabet". This is the just same thing, Kitty-Sue style. Also, not all of these are Sues. Some are just bad writing traits and how defensive some authors can be. Any resemblance to an actual character or story is completely unintentional, so don't flame me if the name of one of your characters pops up on here. And, come on, we're all guilty of making a Sue at one point in time.

Anyway, enjoy.

A Kitty-Sue Alphabet

A is for Angel
Rusty's sweet cousin
Scourge falls in love with her
And they have kits by the dozen!
She's so sickeningly sweet
She makes his frozen heart swell
You can practically hear
The chime of wedding bells!
But cats don't get married
I thought that was funny
And is about as realistic
As Scourge and his honey

. o O o .

B is for Bubblewish
The prettiest cat around
She's fast, and she's strong
She's the best, hands down!
All the toms love her
She hasn't got a flaw
She's kind, and so loving
This cat's got it all!
All the Clans adore her
After all, she's a pretty cool chick
But the readers are all screaming,
"I'm gonna be sick!"

. o O o .

C is for Caitlynn
The twoleg turned kitty
She had such a terrible life
Truly a pity
But now she's a cat
In ThunderClan! Cool!
Every tom is in love with her
Tigerstar, too
And now she's a warrior
The greatest they've ever seen!
I'm starting to get suspicious
This is the author's fantasy

. o O o .

D is for Destinypaw
Who's just become an apprentice
Already part of a prophecy
She's destined for greatness!
She's got friends in all Clans
Has prophetic dreams every night
Her parents were rogues
She's sickeningly polite
Born on an eclipse
She's got an evil brother
Shall we read on?
Oh, why even bother!

. o O o .

E is for Emeraldeyes
This pretty little gem
Named for her sparkling eyes
Which seem to lure you in
Blessed as a kit
So she can tell the future
She's mysterious and edgy
Yep, this cat's super!
Too bad the story
Has no plot at all
And its review count
Is depressingly small

. o O o .

F is for Frostyleaf
And oh, woe is her!
All the toms are love-struck
They adore her glossy fur
But she doesn't love any of them!
Whatever shall she do?
She must find her soul mate
But she hasn't got a clue
This tom is too nice
And this one's too hard a worker
So never mind the code
She'll find love across the border!

. o O o .

G is for Grass-shine
The WindClan medicine cat
She spends her days sorting herbs
Thinking of love, this tom or that
She's oh so lonely
And she's really good with kits
She'd be a wonderful mother!
You can't deny this
Then one day a warrior
(Of ThunderClan, no less)
Catches her eye and smiles
Need I say the rest?

. o O o .

H is for Heavenlyglow
(That's the author's username, too)
And yet she still insists
Her character's not a Sue
Even though her eyes change color
And she's got a heart of gold
And she's never harmed in battle
And she always does what she's told
The plot is cliché
"Heavnlyglow saves the day!" How boring
Maybe that's why all
Of the readers are snoring.

. o O o .

I is for Ivywing
A shape-shifting cat!
She can be a badger, or a fox
Or even a rat!
She can talk to twolegs
And has magical powers
She can tunnel underground
Her best friend's a talking flower!
She also has wings
And knows how to fly
Oh, and she can time-travel
The author must be high

. o O o .

J is for Jayfeather
Who's supposed to be cannon
But he's in love with Daisy
Which is really kind of random
He frolics through meadows
And picks pretty flowers
He laughs at every joke
And keeps laughing for hours
Don't tell the author though
"Don't like, don't read!"
Does she even notice
That Jay's OOC?

. o O o .

K is for Krazyface
The parody cat
She's funny! And witty!
You can't deny that!
She's got the reader rolling
On every other sentence
Best parody ever!
You're laughing yourself senseless!
There's just one problem with this story
That isn't funny at all
The last time it was updated
Was way back in the fall

. o O o .

L is for Leaf
Or possibly Lily
She's a kittypet- no, rogue!
And oh she's so silly!
She's so sweet, or is she evil?
Antisocial or chatty?
The writer can't decide
If she's tortie or tabby
I think her eyes are green
Or maybe they're blue?
All that I know is
I'm thoroughly confused

. o O o .

M is for Moonsparkleglimmershine
Wow, look at that name!
Seeing that every two sentences
Ought to drive the reader insane
But don't forget Dreamswirlbubblyheart
Or Wintershimmerglow
The author's just being original
She'll have you know
"You're just jealous!"
"Of my character name picks!"
And she's still always asking
Why no one likes her fics

. o O o .

N is for Nosoul
*Psst! She's evil!*
I bet you couldn't tell from her name
That she's quite deceitful
Her mother named her Nokit
For her own personal woes
And the whole Clan hates her
'Cause her mother broke the code
She'll take over the forest!
No cat is as clever!
All the characters die
Worst ending ever

. o O o .

O is for Opal
Sitting at home alone
Reading her favorite books
Really in the zone
But then something strange happened
The book opened wide!
And poor little Opal
Was sucked right inside!
And now she's a hero
By the name of Silverbrook
And she knows all the future
'Cause she's read all the books

. o O o .

P is for Poppyflower
She's been reincarnated eight times
She's been Cloudfur, and Smallwing
And Spottedleaf one time!
She remembers all her past lives
And is wise beyond her moons
"When does this story end?"
"Please tell us it's soon!"
"The cycle is endless!"
The readers start to whine
Hope she stops coming back
After life number nine

. o O o .

Q is for Quailflight
She controls the elements
Causes storms and sets fires
Just for the hell of it
She can move the mountains
She came from far away
No evil can stop her
She always saves the day
She swims like a fish
And has wings like a hawk
And all the canon characters
Just stand there and gawk

. o O o .

R is for Raindrop
The kittypet down the street
She ran to join the Clans
And now she can't be beat!
Though she's been there one moon
She's already the best
And StarClan has chosen her
To go on a quest!
She's nice to every cat
Whenever they pass her way
"Hi! My name's Raindrop!"
"I'm a walking cliché!"

. o O o .

S is for Starkit
Whose eyes match her mood
She's pretty and witty
Her pelt glows like the moon!
Became an apprentice
Two moons old, she was
A warrior at six
The whole forest's in a buzz!
A deputy a moon later
Wow, she's gonna go far
All should bow down
To the mighty Starstar!

. o O o .

T is for a big tom
His name is Tinyglow
Got a mate named Darkpelt
Her fur's white as snow!
Longlegs is rather short
Snailstep's really quick
And little ole' Bigbelly
Is as skinny as a stick!
But don't forget Mudface
He's quite the catch
You'd think the author'd notice
These names don't even match!

. o O o .

U is for Umberfur
Do cats know that's a color?
What about crimson? And aqua?
Fall, Spring, and Summer?
He has a pretty mate
Her name is Rubywing
And since when did cats
Know how to sing?
The leader is Onyxstar
The deputy is Diamondheart
And you can clearly tell
Dis writer ain't smart

. o O o .

V is for Violetsong
Such a pretty name
It doesn't match her personality
Which puts Berrynose to shame
She's rude and she's whiny
And likes starting fights
But the others don't seem to mind
Even Jayfeather is nice!
There's no reason behind it
All she does is complain!
Maybe all her ranting
Has melted their brains

. o O o .

W is for Wetfur
The name's the best part
For this story's a mess
Hurts your eyes from the start
The summary is bad
The inside's a wreck
Does the author even know
'bout betas and spell-check?
The grammar is terrible
It's typos galore
Don't even try reading it
Scroll down and ignore

. o O o .

X is for Xavier
Who's a hardcore Gary-Stu
Born a kittypet, like Firestar
And the Clans welcomed him, too
He's the handsomest tom
The fastest, the most strong!
Why, he's so perfect
Nothing is wrong!
Except for the format
Which is written in script form
Quickly, LawlClanners
Sound the alarm!

. o O o .

Y is for Yellowbelly
She's not a Mary-Sue!
Just look at that name
And she's so clumsy, too!
She stutters and stammers,
She's useless in a fight
She can't hunt, and she's deaf
She can't do anything right
Yet through all of that
She always saves the day
'Cause none of these things
Ever get in her way!

. o O o .

Z is for Zebrastripe
Which is really kind of strange
Because this is Great Britain
Not the Serengeti Plain
Don't tell the author, though
She'll go bananas
She did the research!
"There are cats in the Savanna!"
"And there are zebras in Britain"
"Duh, they're in zoos!"
Yeah, she'd know that
She probably came from one, too

I have nothing against LawlClan. I actually agree with their cause. So any of you LawlClanners reading this, give yourself a round of applause.

MY GOD I CAN'T STOP RHYMING.