Kaoru Hitachiin

Why? Why is it that every time I look at you I get this feeling that you don't want anything to do

with me anymore? It doesn't matter though, I have to stay strong. I won't let you see my tears, not now, not

ever. I'll run aeay if thats what it takes, theres nothing left for me here anyway its obvious that everyone

favors you over me. Theres no faith or trust left between us, you threw that out the winow a while ago. I

suppose I'll be going now then, tell her I said bye, will you? of course you won't you don't give a damn what

I think anymore, your too far gone to care either. well I guess I'll never see you again, and if I do itll

be too soon, brother dear. Nobody noticed when I left, no they were to busy looking at the two of you. I

can't believe you didn't realize all I did for you, I practically gave her to you. It was raining that day

too, but I bet you didn't notice that either. It was pouring, I couldn't see anything in front of me. I

certainly didn't see that stupid car in my haste to get away. It hurt, you know, getting hit by a car that

didn't even know I was there until they heard the crunch of car hitting body. I guess i was lucky someone was

outsidewalking otherwise I would've been a lot worse. It was wierd being taken to the hospital. They were

trying to fix me, but I wasn't there. It was like that old story mom use to tell us, the one about humpty

dunoty; and all the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put humpty dunpty back together again.. ha,

I knew I wasn't going to make it to the hospital, I lay there on the stretcher in the helicopter thinking

about you guys, you know. yeah, I though about all the happy times we all spent together, just the three of

us. I didn't cry though, as the medics struggled to keep my pathetic heart beating, no I smiled. Even though

I may have been mad about it, in the end. I'm glad you two got together, it meant that you started breaking

away from the small world of 'us'. It makes me happy that, when I'm gone, you'll have someone to be there

for you,you won't be alone. Yeah that makes me happy. I'm sorry that I ran away, Its all my fault that your

running along side the stretcher crying my name as the docters try to push you away. They're really stupid

for thinking they can, right? I smiled at you when she finally managed to pull you away. and said my last

goodbye. The light overhead is blinding, but I don't close my eyes, I want to see it all until the end. I

feel dizzy now, and everything is going black. Theres yelling somewhere far wawy and a faint shocking

sensation as they try to restart my heart, ha good luck, theres still a bunch of locks around it that'll never

break. i suppose Its time for me to go huh. Well alright, I' m kind of tired anyway, maybe I'll take a nice

nap. Bye then.

end

whaaaaah! this came out so much more sad and angsty than i planned. it was suppose to have a happy ending,

and then somehow my hands take over and type whatever the hell they want. Though the fact that i wrote this

at 4 in the morning doesn't help. Anyway I wrote this while listening to "I'll try" from peter pan return

to neverland. Its a very nice song that has a happy ending... where did this come from? i cried while

typing this because Kaoru is one of my fav characters.

Also, the way I planned it, theres two more chapters I'll post shortly after this one. they're just

short little things like this but their also sad and angsty...I think its just my mini depression taking over

here for a while, I'll try to write happy fics later but right now I just want to write things like this.