A/N: I've been wanting to write a Stony fic or something for ages, but I just can't. I can't do it, my mind won't work. I wrote this instead at 3am whilst brushing my teeth, I woke up at 2 and my mouth tasted funny. First time I've posted a superfamily attempt, be nice?

Tony watched as Peter climbed the wall and onto the ceiling, he couldn't really do anything but watch at this point. His one year old son grinned down at him, revealing several perfect white teeth.

"Please come down, Peter." Tony said wearily, although he knew Peter couldn't understand him, because the boy couldn't even talk yet. Climb up walls? Yes. Say a sentence? No. All the tests that could be safely performed by Bruce had revealed there was nothing wrong with Peter at all. Which had lead them to the only logical conclusion; Peter didn't talk because he just didn't want to. Tony glared up at Peter, who clapped his hands and babbled a sequence of vowels and sounds happily.

"Fine!" Tony declared, throwing his hands up.

"Stay up there! See if I care!" And with that, Tony did the one thing Steve had told him not to do, he headed down the stairs to the lab. Obviously, Peter followed him, still on the ceiling, because he wanted some attention. But Tony went on as if he had no idea Peter was there.

Tony tapped in the key code for the lab, but held the door open a little longer than was necessary and pretended not to notice Peter hurrying to get in.

Tony bustled around the lab, not really doing anything, because all the things he actually had to do were dangerous things, things that could potentially kill his adopted son. Finally, after an hour of essentially doing nothing, Peter got tired of being ignored and toddled down from the roof. Tony grinned triumphantly at his son.
"Got bored?" He asked. Peter nodded reluctantly. Tony's eyebrows shot up, that was the first time Peter had shown any response to everyone's words. Yet more proof that he just didn't want to talk, but was clever enough to perfectly understand everything they said.

Tony lifted Peter onto his hip and headed back up to the kitchen. Leaving his son on the worktop, Tony turned around to get the cookies down for Peter, even though Steve said he wasn't to have them.
"Let's break Daddy's rules!" Tony said, and spun to face Peter. Or rather, where Peter should have been. The smile dropped off Tony's face, and he immediately turned his attention to the ceiling. Peter wasn't there.
"Pete?" Tony called, then stood still in silence, listening. No response, not that Tony was surprised. Tony's pulse quickened, he'd never actually lost his son before.
"Calm down, you haven't even looked yet." Tony murmured to himself.
"JARVIS, can you see Peter anywhere?" Tony asked the ever present AI.
"Sorry, Peter is not in view of any security cameras." The voice announced calmly.
"When did you last see him?"
"Most recently, Peter was seen going into the guest bathroom." Tony wasn't even going to question quickly his son had got there. He was halfway to the bathroom when a shrill cry bounced down the corridor. Undoubtedly Peter, but Tony could hear something off in the cry. He sped up and paused outside the door. Tony opened it slowly, unsure of where Peter could be in the room. The first thing he noticed, was the obvious destruction. Peter was, for lack of a better word, super strong. The marble bath was missing one side, the cabinet wasn't a cabinet anymore and there was a huge puddle of water mixed with various soaps and bath products. And in the middle of the mess, sat Peter, blood dripping down the side of his face and on his hands. Carefully, Tony picked the toddler out of the mess and took him into the guest bedroom. He placed the toddler gently on the edge of the bed, and used the pillow case to delicately wipe away the blood and exam the child's injuries. On his forehead, there was a wide cut, that fortunately wasn't too deep, but would no doubt need some form of medical attention. Peter's hands were covered in tiny scratches.
"Shit." Tony swore, and looked into Peter's eyes.
"Your Daddy is going to kill me." He told the toddler. Peter's eyes mysteriously lit up.
"Shit." Peter said, the words perfectly formed, with no lisp. Tony blinked.
"No no no. Say 'Daddy', say 'toilet', say anything but that."
"Shit." Peter said again, looking almost smug.

Bruce had cleaned up Peter, assured Tony he hadn't lost much blood and would be fine if he didn't run about for a few days. Bruce hadn't asked any questions, one look at the ruined bathroom had been enough to answer anything he had to ask. However, when Peter had said 'shit', the entire way through his examination, that was when Bruce had raised an eyebrow.
"You really taught him that? His first word?" He asked. Tony held his hands up.
"It was an accident! Out of all the words he could choose to say!"
"Steve is going to kill you." Bruce declared.
"I know." Tony groaned, but Bruce was already in the lift.
"Shit!" Peter announced again. Tony slid the toddler off the counter and back onto the ground, where Tony sat down in front of him.
"Peter, that is a very bad word. And Daddy shouldn't have said that. Please will you stop saying it for Daddy?" Tony looked into Peter's eyes, the little toddler smiled at him. It was like he fully understood the situation he'd put Tony in, and was going to do everything in his power to abuse it. Peter toddled over to his dressing up box, holding up one of the Hulk gloves, he looked at Tony expectantly. Tony shook his head.
"Not right now Pete." Peter smiled, as evilly as a toddler could.
"Shit." Tony groaned again, and crawled across the carpet to the dressing up box.

Tony hadn't complained once the entire day, not when Peter had dressed him up as a fairy, not when he'd made Tony dismantle the sofa to make a den, Tony hadn't even complained when Peter had stuck his peanut butter and jelly sandwich into Tony's hair. Not one little complaint, the entire day.
Finally, JARVIS told Tony that Steve was heading up the lift.
"Daddy's coming home." Tony whispered to Peter. "What word did you learn today?" Tony held his breath as Peter looked thoughtful.
"Shit!" He shouted, putting a fist into the air. Tony rolled his eyes, but scooped Peter up, just as Steve walked through the lift.
"There's my boy!" Steve grinned. Steve held out his arms, Peter squirmed out of Tony's arms to the floor.
"He learnt a word today." Tony said reluctantly. Steve met Tony's gaze and his face lit up. Tony's heart sunk a little bit further, how could he tell Steve the word Peter had learned? The answer? He didn't.
"What word did you learn buddy?" Steve asked cheerfully as he picked up Peter. There was a moment of silence, where Steve kept looking at Peter, while Peter examined Tony, and Tony watched Peter. Peter smiled again and opened his mouth.
"Daddy!" Peter said loudly. Steve was ecstatic, spinning Peter around.
"Tony! I can't believe you taught him that! And you thought you were going to be a bad father." Steve was saying. Tony decided to go along with it.
"Yeah, I guess I am pretty great. Well, more than pretty great. Any kid would be lucky to have me and actually-"
"Tony, what the hell is this cut on Peter's head?"
"Oops."