Sayid watched Sawyer sleep. He couldn't help himself. He loved the way the blonde looked when he slept. When he wasn't being mouthy, when he wasn't being... well... himself. He wondered about Sawyer. What made him act the way he did? What made him so hostile towards others? Sawyer was all but curled in on himself and huddled in an extremely defensive posture.

Sayid wondered what he was dreaming about. He'd always found Sawyer, well, beautiful. There was just no way Sawyer would want him. Especially not after what he'd done to him. Sayid hung his head. He hadn't wanted to hurt Sawyer. Sawyer just hadn't given him any choices. He'd pretended to have the girl's inhalers and Sayid couln't stand by and let her die. So he'd broken a promise he'd made himself and done things to Sawyer he'd sworn never to do again.

He'd hurt Sawyer when he'd wanted to do just he opposite. Something about Sawyer made Sayid want to protect him, keep him from harm. Sawyer had pretended to have the girl's asthma medicine and Sayid had to find out the truth. He burried his face in his knee's again as he thought atbout Sawyer.

Sawyer dreamed. He was fifteen again and at the mercies of anyone who wanted to pick him up at the time. He saw George walking towards him and almost bolted. Geoge was violent. It didn't take anything to set him off and Sawyer wasn't sure he was ready to deal with George again.

He turned and had almost began his retreat when he heard Geoge call to him.

"Jim"

Jim was a name he used on the streets. So that he could keep that aspect of himself seperated from how he saw himself. Jim would do almost anything. Sawyer would just slit your throat. Unfortunately Sawyer needed the money. He hadn't eaten in two days and it had been more than a week since he'd slept anywhere indoors. Fuck, he thought. He turned to face George.

"Hey George," he said keeping his head down.

"Jim," replied George, his hand cupping Sawyers chin almost delicately.

Sawyer tried to jeck away. He couldn't help it. George relished hurting him and could tell if Sawyer was faking tears or not. Sawyer stopped moving when George's hand tightened it's grip on his face. He couldn't escape and he knew it. His cock strained against his pants dispite his thoughts. He didn't want to be hurt but his cock seemed to have a mind of it's own. He hated the things George did to him, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself from responding with need for it.

Sayid watched Sawyer whimper. He was curled into a ball now. His hands were pulled into fists with his knuckles white. Sayid wanted to hold him and let him know everything was going to alright. He wanted to tell Sawyer that nothing would hurt him ever again. He just couldn't. Not after the things he'd done to Sawyer. Not after the way he'd hurt him. He sighed and reached to push Sawyers hair away from his face.

He'd been with many people before. He'd cared about the others yes, but he hadn't loved them. Sayid sighed again and moved to sit against the wall. When Jack had asked if he could watch over Sawyer while Jack did whatever it was he did, Sayid had jumped at the chance. A chance to be near Sawyer without Sawyer's mouth cocking it up. A chance to watch the beautiful blonde sleep. A chance just to be near him.

"Please. Please no more." Sawyer whispered. His voice was hoarse from all the screaming. He had tried to keep himself from begging. He'd promised himself he wouldn't beg. But in the end George had won. He always did.

"You can't tell me you don't like this. I know you do. Just look at your cock."

Sawyer could feel the incessant throbbing in his groin. He knew his cock was hard, but he couldn't take any more pain. Sawyer knew if he passed out George would punish him for it more when he woke back up. He had to stay conscious. Had to.

"There's my little whore. I knew you liked this."

Sawyer woke with a start, sitting straight up and gasping for air. Everything hurt, but he'd have to wait to see how much was from the nightmare and how much was real. He tried to get his breath back but he was having a hard time. By the time he'd managed to almost start breathing normally someone spoke.

"Are you okay?" Sayid asked quietly.

Sawyer's head swiveled around to the place where the Iraqi had settled. He glared at him. He didn't want to remember the things he dreamed about and he certainly didn't want to share them. His memories were his. Not anyone elses. Definately not Sayid's.

"Peachy. Why what's it to you?"

Sayid looked away. He had his own demons and knew that Sawyer had his. He also knew how hard they were to talk about. He wanted to comfort the blonde. To reassure him that there was good in the world. Who was he do do this? Who was he to think Sawyer would accept anything from him?

"It seemed you were not sleeping well," Sayid stated simply.

"Yeah, well, what's it to you?" Sawyer repeted.

This was a poor idea, he thought to himself. He will never trust me, not after what happened between us. Sayid stood. He stared at Sawyer for a moment. He didn't know what it was about this man that atracted him, but he couldn't stop the need he felt. A desire to be near him, to protect him. To take him. Sayid surpressed a shiver at that thought.

"Yes, well, Jack will want to know that you are awake. If you will excuse me."

Sayid left without another word. In truth Jack would be interest in knowing that Sawyer was awake. In truth he wasn't sure he could trust himself around Sawyer now that he was awake. Sayid couldn't remember ever wanting to be around some one as much as he wanted to be near Sawyer. Fuck, yes. Be in the presence of, no. Something about Sawyer called to his protective and posissive nature.

Sawyer watched Sayid leave. He didn't know why but for some reason he felt lost. Like something was missing. He shrugged it off. Don't need no one, he thought to himself. Especially not some Iraqi that wants to torcher me. He shook his head and tried to gather his wits. The room felt somehow more empty now than it had when Sayid had been here.

"Dumbass," he said to himself, and tried getting up. His legs didn't work right. He layed back down trying to remember what had happened. Gun shots. He remembered Sayid had been shot. They'd been ambushed. Sayid had killed two of them. The third he'd shot himself. At the same time he'd killed the third one a fourth they hadn't seen struck him from behind.

He didn't remember anything after that. Sayid must have killed the fourth and gotten them both back to camp. Dammit, he thought to himself. No way I owe him anything. There was no way Sawyer would ever allow himself to be in anyones debt. Not ever, ever again. He shoved himself up ignoring the painful throbbing in his head. He was in the middle of insepcting the extent of the damage when Jack walked in.