A/N: Suddenly thought of a really random idea whilst browsing through fem!Kuroko pictures. Enjoy!

Summary: Teiko days. The school festival is here, and a cross-dressing competition is held. Momoi has a great idea. TWOSHOT

WARNING: Cross-dressing, aphrodisiac fun & crack-ish yaoi goodness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basket.

Lascivious joy, fully exposed.

Momoi gaped at the Photography club's notice board, staring long and hard.

Teikou's school-wide cross-dressing competition! Calling upon all males big and small to take part for the fun and laughter! Show your true beauty on the big stage!

First place: 1x 5,000¥ food voucher + 2x Universal Studio park tickets + 1x picture album of self!

Second place: 1x 5,000¥ food voucher + 1x picture album of self!

Third place: 2x 5,000¥ food voucher!

All participants are welcome to sign up by 15/8 13:00. See you there!

Her eyes twinkled, as she read the flier over again and again.

Two girls behind her walked by, giggling. "Hey, do you think Takeshi-kun is going to enter that cross-dressing competition?"

"Of course not!" the other giggled, blushing. "But he'd look so cute in girl's clothing!"

Momoi's ears perked up as an absolutely, wonderful idea came to her head. Flipping open her phone, she glowed in excitement as she went through her contact list, stopping at-

"Hello, Tetsu-kun?"

Teikou middle school's cultral festival was held over three days during the prime of spring. All clubs and classes participated in the festival by creating stalls, performing plays and holding cafes, etc.

The sports clubs usually didn't do much. Of course, that also applied to their famous basketball club.

"Kurokocchi, do you want a crêpe?" Kise asked, pointing to a crêpe stand with a long que.

"Yes, please." he replied, "Vanilla strawberry."

"I want choco-banana." Aomine added, looking at the small menu board.

Kise pouted. "You can get yours yourself, Aominecchi!"

Aomine grunted in annoyance, kicking the blond-haired player to the back of the line. "Just get it."

After much ease to the front of the line via his personal fans, Kise emerged from the crowd with three crepes. One for Kuroko, one for Aomine and one for himself.

"Where should we go next?" Kuroko asked, taking a bite into the vanilla cream.

"Apparently the Black Magic club's performance was really good. It's on again in about 10 minutes, wanna go see?" Kise suggested, looking through the festival's pamphlet.

"A magic show?" Aomine grumbled, raising a brow. "No way I'm going to such a pansy-"

Kuroko's phone went off, stopping the three. "Excuse me," he said, flipping his phone open. "It's Momoi-san, - hello?"

Momoi's high-pitched squeal could be heard through the phone, as she ecstatically tried to make out words through her excitement. Kuroko managed to interpret bits and pieces.

"A favour?"

Kise and Aomine exchanged curious glances, turning back to Kuroko, whose face lit up just the slightest.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"Tetsu-kuuuuuuuuuuuuun!" Momoi cried happily, enveloping Kuroko in a tight bear hug.

"Hello, Momoi-san." the blue-haired boy replied calmly, pushing the pink-haired manager away. "Are you really going to...?"

Momoi smiled, beaming like there was no tomorrow. "Of course, Tetsu-kun! I always keep my promises. So that's why, you're going to keep yours."

Kuroko stared at her for a while, before hesitantly answering as he subconsciously fidgeted with his fingers.

"...Of course."

Without a second thought, she grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs.

"Where are we going, Momoi-san?"

"To the drama club."

"...excuse me?"

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

The gymnasium was filled with the squeaking of sneakers and breathless basketball athletes. The first-string players, namely, the Generation of Miracles, were also a part of the sweat and tears. Mostly sweat.

"Where is Tetsuya?"

Almost all heads turned to the arrival of their respected and equally feared, red-haired captain.

"Ah, Aka-chin." Mursakibara said, sucking on a blueberry flavoured lollipop.

"I thought I told all first-string players to come to practice at eleven." Akashi's eyes narrowed slightly, scanning the vicinity.

Everyone froze, knowing very well that Akashi had no tolerance for boycotters or slackers. Even if it was one of the 'prodigies'.

"Satsuki called Tetsu for a favour earlier. Haven't seen him since." Aomine blurted out quickly, coming to his partner's defence. He needed his partner to stay alive until the nationals.

Akashi hummed, walking towards the locker rooms.

Kise was puzzled. "Akashicchi's...not angry."

Midorima pushed up his glasses, flinching at the recording of O-hasa's daily horoscope on his phone. "I sense danger."

"...huh?" Aomine deadpanned at the superstitious teen, on everyone's behalf.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Almost an hour later, Akashi had finally permitted a short break for the first and second-string players. They collapsed onto the floor, tiredly groping for their water bottles somewhere around the benches.

"That sly Kurokocchi," Kise said, in between pants, "he never turned up for practice."

Aomine grunted in agreement, throwing his empty water bottle to the side. "Water."

A new bottle of Pocari Sweat was offered to him by a pair of feminine, pale hands. Without much thought, he snatched the bottle, chugging down the drink in a record of just a few seconds.

"Thanks." he mumbled, looking up to see who it was.

"No problem."

Everyone, and literally everyone, including the Generation of Miracles including Akashi, gaped. To be more precise, Akashi simply rose a brow in curiosity.

Before them, or rather Aomine, was a small, petite girl about Momoi's height. She had light-blue, shoulder length wavy hair, decorated with a white daisy. And to match the flower, she wore a simple white and yellow, laced dress that fell just above her knees. To add to the almost 'innocent and pure' image, it was topped with a short, white cardigan and ballet flats.

"Who the hell are you?" Aomine asked, confused.

The girl looked as if she had flinched at his words. Kise noticed, defending the girl for the possibilty of her being his fan.

"Are you by any chance, one of my fans?" Kise asked casually, approaching the girl. Said girl deadpanned.

"...no." she whispered, as she spun on her heels.

The gymnasium's doors flung open, revealing a panicking Momoi. "Where's...where's Tetsu-ahh!"

The girl looked almost relieved with her stoic expression, as she ran up behind the pink-haired girl. The latter looked surprised for a moment or two, before bursting out into a fit of laughter.

"Oi Satsuki, who's that?"

Momoi wiped off a bead of tear from the brim of her eye. "This is Tetsu-...Tetsuko-chan. She came here to visit our festival!"

Before anyone could say any more, 'Tetsuko-chan' dragged Momoi out of the gym, bowing to excuse themselves halfway. As they left, people were left unable to comprehend.

"Well...that was awkward." someone said, laughing.

Kise stared at the door, "Ne, Aominecchi, don't you think she was kinda cute?"

Aomine scowled. "She was flat."

Akashi, who had watched the situation from afar, felt a small smirk creep up onto his face. Well, this was certainly interesting.

Some time later;

Students, mainly females, buzzed in excitement as they waited for the grand opening of the most anticipated event of the day. Two female hosts stepped out from behind the curtains, holding small cue cards.

"Hello everyone, welcome to our school's first ever cross-dressing competition!"

The hosts began with honours to the photography club and teachers who consented their permission for the event to go on. They reviewed the competition's rules and such, arousing further excitement from the crowd.

"This is stupid." Aomine said, scowling.

"Momocchi must have a reason for calling us out here." Kise replied, looking around. "I don't see Kurokocchi anywhere."

"Probably ran away." Midorima suggested, looking uninterested at his surroundings.

Akashi and Murasakibara remained silent, unsure themselves why they had come to such a boisterous place. Though, they had been practicing for a little over an hour already.

The hosts commenced to introducing the line of cross-dressing males, all of whom so far were...unsightly with their buff or lanky bodies.

"Introducing the ninth contestant for today;the epitome of purity and innocence, let's welcome Kuroko Tetsuya to the stage!"

This time, everyone excluding Akashi deadpanned. He saw this coming.

"K-Kurokocchi?" Kise almost shouted, dumfounded and shocked.

Said boy walked onto the stage in the same appearance he had been in at the gym earlier. The audience hushed, wondering if he was actually a real girl. With much awkwardness and timidness, he managed a small, heart-fluttering smile.

This time, they gaped.

As Kuroko left the stage, he spotted five distinct shades of hair from the crowd at the very back.

And just a fraction bigger, his eyes widened. He was screwed.

"All the participants will now go around the school, promoting themselves for approximately an hour! The person with the most votes by the end of that hour will be crowned the winner!"

He was so screwed.

One of the hosts giggled. "And remember participants, the more pictures, smiles and flirts you give, the higher chance you have!"

Dear lord, he was unbelievably and undeniably...screwed.

A/N: What excuse will Kuroko come up with? And exactly what was the favour Momoi had asked for? What will happen to our deliciously vulnerable, cross-dressing Kuroko?

...the next (second and final) chapter will reveal everything. Stay tuned, and BE WARNED. This fic is M-rated for a very good reason. Namely, the next chapter. Those with weak hearts, please...don't read.

Review!