~* Title: He is My Sin *~

~* Pairing: GiottoxTsuna G27 *~

~* Rating: M *~

~* Warning: There is incest and other dark themes present in this story. *~

~* Summary: AU: "I want him. I want him so badly. With each passing day, I find myself burning with desire for him. I know that it's wrong for me to lust for him, but I don't care anymore. And, I will do anything to have him, even if that means I have to drag him down to Hell with me." *~

A/N:Hello, my beloved dearies! Thank you so much for all the precious feedback that you all gave me. I really appreciate all of your kind words and am very grateful that you took the time to leave a review. Anyway, I'm sorry that it too such a long time for this chapter and I hope you guys will like it. Please enjoy~!

~* Special Thanks To: Sasayomi, Shirley no Gemini, Final Syai Lunar Generation, aerean94, xRinyukix, smalltaz, Elle von Werner, Neolazer, G27Babeh, pinnychan, Mori, Tsunayum, Artemis Kuromoru, Yuukilover, KawaiiTuna, Misaki Yoshino, Guest 1, Kichou, Guest 2, mpl3, morino, Butterfree, Joey Bermuda Ketail, RoxanneTheGreat, and Tinkerfary1998 *~

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from KHR. It belongs to the amazingly talented Akira Amano.

Chapter 2: His Need

Shivering slightly against the cool, icy air that flowed gently through the window, the restless form of Giotto laid motionlessly in his bed as he was allowed himself to drown deeply within the deepest parts of his mind as he remained wide awake in the dead of night.

Usually during this time, Giotto was usually allowed himself the opportunity to relax after having to deal with a long grueling day at school filled with nothing but a sea of stress.

Being hammered down by countless tests, homework, projects, and not to mention having to yet again deal with the endless pursuit of young lovestruck girls who greatly desired him now more than ever before, the seventeen year old blond was rendered undeniably exhausted, even though he hid this well from others.

It wasn't really surprising how tiring his life had truly become after all these years. For the most part, it was truly expected. After all, he was now currently a full-fledged senior attending Namimori High School, who just so happened to become even more talented and devilishly intelligent over the years.

It didn't really help that he was still at the top of his class even to this day, and was still considered by many to be the most popular and the most attractive male in his entire school, much to the displeasure and utter dismay of some of his male classmates.

To many of the student body, he was practically an idol to them, someone that was worth admiring, someone they could look up to, and someone that they all wanted to be around in hope of being able to capture and cherish his dignified glory.

Everybody always expected nothing but the best of him. He felt like he was being watched constantly and that he wasn't allowed to let anyone down in any way. Much to his dismay, there were many times where he felt like he was a part of a circus, whose duty was to do nothing more but perform flashy tricks and keep his audience entertained and happy at all cost.

Sometimes, he felt like he was drowning and suffocating from all the attention he received. It was truly unbearable.

To be perfectly blunt about it all, Giotto could have honestly care less about the being popular and desired by anybody. Fame wasn't something that ever gave him the slightest ounce of happiness, nor was it something he ever tried to gain. And, as far as having a girlfriend was the last thing on his mind, despite the many times he friends pestered him to get one. He just wasn't interested in dating, not even at this point in his life.

Everything that he was forced to deal with on a daily basis was nothing short of tiring, even though he was really good at hiding his exhaustion and stress from others, especially his overly-concerned mother who worried over his well being constantly.

However, the blond would be a liar if he said that there hadn't been many times where he just wanted to stay in bed all day and he felt as if he could fall into a deep sleep of which he would never awake from.

Fortunately for him, whenever the blond haired boy was lucky enough to not have to bear through those dreadful days and when he was given the opportunity of not having to do anything at all, the last thing he wanted to do, much less even think about was something that was obviously school related.

However, he didn't think he would become so disturbingly obsessed by something that was just a simple matter and a silly discussion from his class. But, when he really began to consider how he was being so affected by it so much, he finally understood why he felt such a surge uneasiness gradually eating away at his thoughts.

It all started when his literature teacher had suddenly asked the class out of nowhere on what they honestly thought love was and what it meant to them personally. All in all, this was just a simple and easy question that didn't truly have a right or wrong answer.

Unsurprisingly, to him anyway, there was a lot muttering from a lot of guys who didn't seem to care at all for the topic at hand, while on the other hand the girls in his class couldn't contain themselves from giggling madly and frequently looking at him, obnoxiously fluttering their eyelashes with their rosy pink cheeks pointed his way.

Of course, he ignored them to the best of his abilities and continued further to not have any part in participating whatsoever.

At first, the discussion was completely insignificant and held no true meaning to him. The class's uninspiring and rather irritating reactions only caused the blond to lose further interest in the topic.

But, it was only when his teacher decided to pick on him to see what he believed that love was, the teen was lost for words and he had no idea why. If there was ever a time where he had felt embarrassed, it was right then and he didn't like it at all.

Something like that had never ever happened to him before. Giotto was so used to answering whatever question was thrown his way without any hesitation or doubt in himself. He was always such a straightforward and headstrong person, he couldn't fathom why wasn't able to answer his teacher's question that day.

Ever since then, Giotto had unknowingly set himself on a deep internal conquest to find the answer he so desperately sought for. He would not allow himself to rest until he found a satisfying conclusion that would be able to ease his current obsession.

Unfortunately, his task was easier said than done. Despite the fact that the question itself was fairly, it had proven to be more complex than he he initially anticipated.

"What is love?"Giotto whispered to himself again before opening his eyes that were in a daze to stare up blankly at the ceiling. 'What is its main purpose for existing in our world? Why does it have such a powerful influence and control over people and make them do the most craziest and most unthinkable things?'

When it came to the idea of love, Giotto always considered himself someone who was very familiar and well immersed in the subject. After all, he had learned many things about it throughout his time from the many different people he interacted with in his life.

If it was one thing that Giotto had heard many of them say, it was that love was the most powerful and most intense entity that existed in their world. They believed that love conquered over all things, that love was in every single one of them, and that every person was given the chance to express it, share it, and eventually give it to the one person that one was destined to be with for all eternity.

To him, many of them spoke of the simple generic interpretation of love, which honestly made Giotto sick beyond human comprehension by the obvious absurdity of it all. As mean as it might have been of him to feel this way toward those who felt strongly about this concept, he couldn't believe that there was love in everyone.

There was just too much evil, so much cruelty, and sins that were committed by people every day that the mere idea that those damn wretches had love in them at all seemed too unrealistic to him. Their destructive calamity was truly undeniable in their world.

Besides all the lovesick people that the boy had encountered, he had also knew of those who thought that love was weak and feeble thing. To them, they thought that it did nothing but hold a person back from being able to achieve their true potential.

Sneering at the mere thoughts that ran through his mind, Giotto considered every last one of those people to be nothing more than idiotic fools who deserved to fall into the deepest pits of despair without any chance of being truly happy because they decided to cast love away so easily.

Was it cruel of Giotto to belittle the ideas of those who lived by either of those standings? Was it fair of him to be so negative towards their beliefs just because he didn't agree with either of them in any way? No, it wasn't and he knew that.

As far as he could remember, he didn't use to be so judgmental towards others' opinions. The blond always acknowledged and was very thoughtful toward a different point of view from his own, even if he didn't agree with it. But for some reason, when it came to this complicated topic, he was becoming so cold about it all because none of their beliefs settled as a satisfying answer for him.

Orange eyes narrowed with self-disgust at the coldness that seemed to creep its way into the his heart. Sighing solemnly, shame started to burn deeply in his stomach as Giotto began to feel bad for his poor judgement he had on earlier. After all, some of those people who looked down were really close to him and they didn't deserve to be belittled in that way.

Rolling on his side rather sharply, Giotto's piercing eyes peered down at the floor as his distress did nothing but grow stronger by the second. 'This isn't like me...' The exasperated blond grumbled, turning over in his bed once again while he began to gather his thoughts and dwell on them once more.

And yet, as much as the troubled teen wanted so desperately to be able to appreciate both sides, he couldn't do so because the both felt so wrong to him. For some reason the boy felt as if something was missing piece in all of this.

There had to be more to love than just simply loving other people, right? There just had to be something that he wasn't seeing, something he never truly thought of or considered up until this point.

However, the more that Giotto began to seriously considered everything he knew from both sides and what he knew of his own personal beliefs, the more he began to finally realize that he may be getting closer to his answer.

One thing Giotto had to admit that he did think that love was the one element that most living creatures craved and the one thing that they desired more than anything else in the world. But, for him, love was just about finding someone you deeply cared about and wanted to spend a eternity with. No, there was more to it than just that.

What many people failed to realize in life was that there are more kinds of love besides than the one that they only acknowledged. There wasn't only just the sweet and pure love that so many thought only existed around. No, there was also dark, twisted, unclean, impure, and unhealthy types of love.

Quietly thinking back to his early adolescence years, the boy could strongly remember the time when he was starting to fall into the deepest, darkest pits of sin. It was during that time in his life where even the most purest of thoughts that entered his mind turned into disgusting, horrible wicked things...when he believed felt like he was beginning to desire his dear, innocent little brother, Tsuna.

At first, Giotto didn't want to believe in the feelings that he had felt for Tsuna at that time. He wanted to believe that there were nothing more but sick lies, trying to shadow and consume the sweet and untainted love that he truly carried for his little brother.

The older boy thought that maybe everything he was feeling and experiencing was probably a phase that took a turn for the worst. He could not deny to anyone that he loved his dear brother to death and he would do absolutely anything to ensure the younger boy's happiness, and maybe since he had such strong and powerful feelings of love for Tsuna, he had accidentally mistaken them for intense passion that was not meant to be shared between two boys, even less so two brothers.

But, as the years went on, Giotto's feelings only seemed to get a lot worse in ways that were too unspeakable to even be conceived.

Tsuna had become like a drug to him. Whenever the two were together, he felt himself wanting to touch the other, to feel the younger boy's soft, creamy skin upon his fingertips. Whenever he took in and would smell his brother's sweet and intoxicating scent, his mind became hazy and he felt like he couldn't barely breathe.

And, worst of all, whenever he was able to hold his precious brother close to him in a tight embrace, he felt his very flesh go ablaze and his desire would reach to lengths that were almost uncontrollable.

He was so scared and was absolutely ashamed of himself beyond words and recognition. He felt so lost and out of touch with reality and he felt like his insides were burning from a poisonous flame set to scorch and destroy his very being. And, above all, he felt like he was dying inside.

But, he knew there was a way he could be saved from committing the treacherous sin that would send his soul into eternal damnation and save him from having to face God's wrath. He knew that it would that if he wanted to save himself from the cruel punishment that would be awaiting him if he did not repent, then he would have to make the ultimate sacrifice so that he would be able to protect his little brother from himself.

Once he realized that his "feelings" for Tsuna would no seem to go away and that they would eventually no doubt destroy the relationship between them, the older boy decided that he had no choice but to start pushing his the younger boy away in order to save them both.

Every time Tsuna wanted to spend time with him or do something that would somehow unintentionally cause his feelings and his unwanted sense of desire and need to arise, he would always tell the younger brunet that he was far too busy with school work or other activities to keep him company, even though that was far from the truth.

He needed to keep his distance away from Tsuna because it was the only thing he could think of to protect him. Nothing caused him more pain than to see his brother saddened by his peculiar behavior, but he didn't have much of a choice anymore.

It broke his heart every time to see the look of undeniable disappointment flood across Tsuna's face and to know that the tears that the boy tried so hard to keep from falling were...because of him.

Even though he knew that all of his lies were deeply hurting the younger boy, Tsuna would always tell him that he understood and that he would rather him focus on his school work so that he could get into any college that he desired after he was finished with his senior year.

Sometimes, Giotto couldn't understand why he was blessed to have such a sweet, darling person to be a caring brother and companion for him. Deep within his heart, he honestly felt like he didn't deserve the love his younger brother had for him and that the precious boy deserved a lot better than him.

He knew that he was the only person that Tsuna could talk to and spend time with, seeing as his younger brother had yet to make any friends of his own. It killed him even more to know that the boy probably felt like he was all alone in this world, even though he was distancing himself further from the brunet to ensure his safety.

Once he realized that his "feelings" for Tsuna would no doubt destroy the relationship between them, the older boy decided that he had no choice but to start pushing his brother away in order to save them both.

Clenching his chest where his heart felt like it was on the verge of bursting out of his chest, Giotto let out a long shaky breath that seemed to damn earth-shattering to him. Without realizing it, he began to impale arms with his blunt nails and small droplets of blood began the roll down his skin.

"I'm so sorry, Tsu-kun." He whispered pitifully to himself into the deep darkness and silence that surrounded him. he felt small tears escape his closed eyes. "You just don't know how sorry I am, Tsu-kun." He shuddered with despair as he buried and wrapped himself tightly within his covers as he began to feel weary and cold from the chill of the night air.

'This...This is the the best of us, Tsu-kun. Things will get better for us, I know they will, and soon things will go back to the way they were and everything will be alright.'

And, with that last thought in mind, the exhausted blond finally let slumber take over him in bring him into a dreamless sleep.

Giotto believed that everything he was doing up to this point was for the greater good and that soon things would gradually get better for both him and his dear brother. He needed things to go back to how they were so that he could live happily with Tsuna, without any fear of hurting him anymore.

But, there was one thing that Giotto could not deny, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it. Everything was beginning to change all around him and that things were never going to be the same ever again.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry if it seemed a little boring or if there didn't seem like too much happened, but I honestly thought I needed to flesh Giotto and his personal conflict out a little more without rushing anything. Anyway, I hope you guys had fun reading! Don't forget to leave a review because it really helps to keep me motivated. Until next time~!