John's Blog

I'm bored! There have been no interesting cases in five days four hours and six minute, and for all of you simple minded readers who cannot tell, I'm not John. No John is out wasting his time on a boring woman. It will never work. One, she likes to go to clubs and throw her body around in a wild like manor which is now considered dancing, which is an insult to the beautiful activity which take skill. It's obvious by her shoes and horrible outfits. John does not do the club scene. He prefers a pup. Two, she only listens to pop music and John is more into oldies and classic rock. She "left" her phone at the flat when she stopped by to meet John on their second date. Three, she is seeing two other man. Her jewelry and perfume gave it away and her phone just confirmed it. This is their fifth date and by my estimate, their relationship should be coming to an end soon. Four, she does Molly and John does not approve of any drug use or unhealthy substances I should know he lectures me every time he finds my cigarettes. It obvious, she is way too happy, and is always dehydrated. There are many more reasons but those are the main ones.

I do not understand why John wishes to date but I he must do so could he not pick someone at least interesting or at least someone who deserves him. Every woman who he has dated does not deserve him at all. It would be difficult and I don't believe that anyone can truly deserve John Watson, as a lover or a friend, but the woman he dates are just dull and unintelligent. John is not nearly as clever as myself, but very few are, but he is cleaver than most of the human race and deserves someone as clever as himself.

Back to the main problem; I'm bored. I need a case so if any of you have an interesting problem that is at least a seven leave a response here or on my website the Science of Deduction. Also, no cases involving: a cheating spouse, missing pet, alien abduction, ghosts, Bigfoot and all other nonsense will not be considered so do not bother. I'm a consulting detective not a therapist, pet control or monster hunter.

Sorry,if the is horrible but I wrote this in a rush. I will go over this later and fix/rewrite it.