Warning: NSFW! It is rated for course language and sexual content. If you are underage, please do not read this.

Description: Kaidan makes a grave mistake and duly punished. Takes place sometime late in ME3

Savior

He was being careless and he realized it too late. One minute Kaidan was overloading the shields of a Cerberus Centurian and in the next he was pinned down behind some fairly flimsy looking crates. He'd been guarding Shepard's six and like a fresh faced kid just out basic training, he'd neglected to watch his own. Seriously though, he berated himself, how the hell did he miss an Atlas of all things, sneaking up on him?

Bullets and rockets were flying everywhere. The ground actually shook as the enormous mech bored down upon his barely defensible position. Somewhere nearby an enemy engineer must have set up a turret, because the telltale sounds of unrelenting machinegun fire were added to the cacophony. He felt isolated, completely cut off from wherever Shepard and Garrus were hopefully holding their own.

Suddenly, one of the wooden crates to Kaidan's left exploded into splinters. He cried out in pain as a large piece of wood slammed into his wrist, making his hand go numb. His trusty M-8 Avenger, the only weapon left in his arsenal with an operating heat sink, went careening into the unknown, past smoke and death. The turret he'd heard earlier instantly centered on his location and Kaidan's shields sparked and sputtered as they failed from the onslaught.

Throwing himself to the ground, Kaidan thrust a blast of biotics at the automated weapon. It shattered into a million pieces with a satisfying crash, but with the atlas nearly upon him, it hardly mattered. Ground rumbling beneath his spine, Kaidan watched as the hulking death machine moved close enough for him to look up into the soulless eyes of its pilot. There was a whir of electronic gears as one of the huge metal arms aimed itself at his chest. He knew this was it; even if he'd had enough strength left to conjure a barrier, there was no way it would be strong enough to deflect a direct hit from a rocket. He closed his eyes, prayed for death to be quick, and hoped against hope that Shepard would forgive him for letting her down.

A cry of absolute rage accompanied the telltale whoosh of a biotic charge. Kaidan's eyes snapped open in time to see his vengeful lover materialize directly in front of the giant mech. Heart in his throat, he watched as she flared an ever brighter blue and threw her arms up with another guttural scream. A powerful shockwave instantly shattered the atlas's canopy and a well aimed pistol put a slug right between the pilot's eyes. In a matter of seconds, the only sounds in the cavernous room were the ragged pants of their breathing and the racing of Kaidan's own heart.

Garrus trotted over and laid a hand on the Commander's shoulder. "Everything alright here, Shepard?" he asked.

Kaidan watched through the narrow slit in his helmet as she turned to meet his gaze. The look in her blue eyes was as chilly as her voice when she answered, "we're fine. Let's move out."

The shuttle ride back to the Normandy was about as awkward as you can get; at least once you're past the stage in life where you're worried about your parents finding your stash of Asari porn. Shepard wouldn't even look at him for the entire twenty minutes, instead choosing to glare holes in the hull and spastically clench fistfuls of the seat cushions.

Once back in the shuttle bay, Garrus made himself scarce as quickly as possible, mumbling something about "Calibrations," and scooting off to the elevator without even stopping to remove his armor. Shepard handed her weapons and helmet off to Vega, who for once kept his wise ass mouth shut, as he placed them on his weapons bench to be cleaned.

The Commander marched through the gap separating the long stretch of consoles, before taking a deep breath and turning to address the room. "Everybody go take a break," she commanded. "I want this bay cleared in thirty seconds." When everyone just gaped at her, Shepard's features grew unyieldingly hard. "Move!"

The commotion was instantaneous, the small complement of soldiers stationed in the shuttle bay practically tripping over themselves to obey her. They piled themselves into the elevator without even the smallest murmur of conversation, and then Kaidan was left alone with his angry angel.

"Shepard," he started; holding out a hand, palm up in supplication. Whatever else he was going to say was lost in a bone jarring crack, as her own palm made contact with the broad side of his face.

Skin stinging as much as his pride, Kaidan felt his own ire building. "What the hell, Shepard!" he shouted, but she interrupted him again, using a two handed biotic push to slam him into her workbench. Kaidan gaped at her, trying to regain the breath she'd knocked from his lungs.

Slowly stalking forward, her eyes blazed like twin orbs of blue fire. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she growled through clenched teeth, right before landing another brutal slap to his cheek. "Son of a bitch!" she screamed, shoving him harder into the table, "ass hole!"

Kaidan wrapped his fingers around her wrists and held on tight, needing to use considerable force to halt her tirade. She struggled for a second, causing some of her long, inky black hair to tumble free of its pins. Strands of it stuck to her flushed, damp face.

"I hate you for making me feel this way," she spat, and to his horror Kaidan saw moisture pooling in her red rimmed eyes. "I fucking hate you!"

His amp tingled in warning, half a second before her body erupted in swirling blue flames. She broke free of his hold with a desperate cry, only to immediately throw herself towards him again. Her hands grasped his face; her lips crashed into his in a punishing kiss. She tasted like battle; blood, sweat, and tears, with the slightly bitter tinge of eezo. She was rage and passion personified and despite the violence of her pursuit, and just maybe in part because of it, Kaidan felt himself grow instantly hard.

Her hands were everywhere at once; spearing through the damp curls on his scalp, grasping at his chest and shoulders. He reached out to pop the seals on her armor, desperate to touch her skin, only to have her push his hands away and set to working on his. The clatter of his chestplate and gauntlets hitting the floor echoed throughout the shuttle bay, just before she gripped the bottom hem of his protective underarmor and ripped it from his shoulders.

The second the cool, filtered Normandy air hit his sweat slicked skin, her mouth was on his chest, teeth scraping across his left pectoral. He cried out, his body flashing blue for an instant, as she sunk her sharp teeth into the muscle over his heart.

"This is mine," she claimed, placing a hot kiss on the marks she'd just left in his skin. " You aren't allowed to be careless with it; it isn't yours to piss away."

Kaidan speared his fingers through her damp hair, pushing it away from her face and loosening the rest of the pins so it could tumble down her back. "Yours," he agreed roughly, before bending down to once again crash his lips against hers.

The rest of their armor was shed carelessly, ripped from their bodies with as much haste as possible and haphazardly thrown to the floor. Shepard used a tiny biotic push to boost him up onto the workbench, before deftly climbing up onto his lap to straddle his hips. He moaned loudly when her wet heat brushed him; let out a breathy expletive as she sheathed herself it in one smooth, unforgiving motion.

She set a punishing rhythm, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and using her knees for leverage on the rough metal surface. He ran a hand down the flat plane of her stomach, feeling the muscles tense and roll as she undulated on top of him. His fingers sifted through the damp curls between her thighs, seeking out the tiny nub at her their center. She tensed when he found it, arching her back and digging tiny crescents into the skin of his.

Faster and faster she rose and fell above him, her breathing reduced to tiny, rapid panting. Kaidan could barely breathe himself as the pleasure built inside him. He curled himself over her; buried his face in her neck and tasted salt. She came violently, scratching and clawing at his shoulders as her keening wail filled the cavernous shuttle bay. Barely a second later, Kaidan let out a long low groan as he followed her over the edge.

Kaidan caught her as she fell limp, pillowing her head against his shoulder and wrapping his arms around her in a strong embrace. He kissed her temple, rocked her back and forth and she shook like a leaf in the aftermath of strong emotion.

"What just happened, Baby?" he asked softly, petting her hair as if she were a small child. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I almost lost you today," she told him, "and it was entirely your fault. I am so angry with you I can barely think."

"I made a mistake," he agreed. "I got careless and I didn't see that atlas coming. I'm sorry." He smiled into her hair. "But you saved me," he reminded her. "My avenging angel came crashing onto the scene and told death to go to hell."

"That's not it," she spat. "Everyone makes mistakes. Hell, I make tons of them every damn day; that's not what I'm talking about."

Kaidan was genuinely confused. "Than what?" he asked.

Shepard pulled back to meet his gaze and he flinched from the pain he saw in her lovely blue eyes. "You gave up," she told him, voice breaking on the last syllable. "I saw you just lay down and close your eyes, waiting for death to take you. What if I couldn't get to you in time?" she wailed. "What the fuck was I supposed to do then?"

"What was my alternative?" Kaidan asked incredulously. "I was pinned down, unarmed, with a maxed out biotic amp, and a rocket launcher in my face. What was I supposed to do, yell at it?"

"Yes!" she cried. "You yell, you scream, you use your teeth and your nails. I don't care if you throw rocks at it. You fight until the last breath has left your body. You never give up; is that clear, Major?"

"Crystal," Kaidan agreed, heartbroken to see her so upset.

"I hope so," she said, "Because you are the most vital soldier on this ship. I can't lose you."

"I appreciate that," he told her, "I really do. But there is no way I'm more vital than Commander Shepard."

She let out a light snort and shook her head, but he continued.

"Everyone in this whole damn galaxy is counting on you to save them," he said. "They are expending countless resources, risking millions upon millions of lives just to make sure you have the chance to succeed. As long as they believe if you are lost, all is lost; than we need to make sure you survive. You're their last and best hope; the rock they cling to when everything around them is going to hell."

Shepard wrapped her arms around him once more and held on tight. "Exactly, Kaidan," she agreed softly. "The galaxy expects me to be their savior, but who do you think is mine?"

Author's notes:

I write so much about what Shepard means to Kaidan, I wanted to explore the reverse. The angry sex just kinda happened. I hope you liked it.

This is not my"cannon" Shepard, but one of my alternates I hold in reserve for special occasions.

This story was inspired by Florence and the Machine's song "Howl," and most specifically, the line that says "I drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart.