No More

The gun shook in his hands. His palms were sweaty and his breathing harsh. Alcohol pumped through his veins making his thoughts more clouded. The room was dark because he had shut off JARVIS, no more interruptions just him and the gun. Could he do it? Could he really pull the trigger? Could he end it all? It felt like a eternity deciding, In reality he only had a few minutes, JARVIS would soon hack his way past the blockages and in to the room. Then it would be over. He would be stuck in this life with no escape.

So he would end it? It wasn't like Stark to give up easily, but wasn't that the point? Escaping Stark. Leaving the man he had pretended to be all these years. Well maybe there was some truth in the lie, Stark was just the negative aspects of Tony on steroids. He had built Stark to cover up the real thing, maybe some were in the process he got lost. He came to believe he was this Stark, unbreakable and indifferent. He never gave up. Stark always came out on top. He didn't care what people thought of him and his life.

It used to excite Tony thinking of how strong he had be come. Then he was drug down and reminded of who he really was, how it all really went down. When people accused him of every negative aspect he sought to amplify Stark laughed, Tony screamed inside. A scream that was never heard.

No more he decided. No more would he stand silent. This was his first, and last, stand with his greatest enemy, himself. The person he had created out of the worst parts of his being, the man who had emerged from his self destructive habits. Once long ago he had been at the end, it was a familiar road and well traveled. Tony had called upon Stark to save him. Now much later that man had eaten away the only good parts of Tony in return for the favor. Yes this was truly his last battle weather he won or not. Losing, living, meant letting Stark take over and in a way it meant the death of Tony. Winning, dying, meant escape it meant defeating Stark, but this too would be the end of Tony.

Suddenly the door opened and light entered. "Tony." He didn't look up. He knew the voice well, to well. The blond entered the room quietly. Tony could almost see him in his mind. The man carried himself like the soldier he was, a look of confusion and hurt on his face. Tony didn't look up, he didn't want to see that look. The man was usually disappointed in him but this time it would be worse. Tony was doing the unthinkable, unthinkable only because all he knew was Stark not Tony. If he knew Tony, well Tony would be long gone before they ever drug the man's body up from the ice.

"I know you feel like you have to fight this battle by your self but you don't. I'm hear, your not alone." Steve walked calmly towards him. Tony rested his back to the wall. He knew it was over now. The arm holding the gun dropped to his side. Stark had won, Tony would die to live, that was the price he paid.

The price it cost to swipe that look off of Steve's face. The price to save the soldier the pain waking up to find Tony's cold body laying dead on the floor the gun, his end, laying next to him. It was the price he paid for this world to have it's hero. He payed it every day and today he died for it. Maybe he was doing this for all those people, maybe he was doing it for himself. It hurt not knowing which one. Not knowing the difference between him and Stark.

Steve took the gun from his hand and dropped it on the floor. "You can't do this any more." Steve's voice cracked. He slammed a hand to the wall, angry. That was a emotion Tony hadn't expected. "I can't do this any more." He whispered. "But no matter how many times I have to say it till you believe me I'l say it. Your not alone in this world Tony." Tony didn't look up still. He stared at the shattered glass on the floor, dropped so long ago, alcohol almost gone. There was still some left, a little but enough.

Steve was so close, his warm breath on Tony's forehead. Hand holding his to the wall the other pressed to his chest. Slowly, as Steve's anger faded, he relaxed, his grip was gentler and one muscular arm snaked around Tony holding his head, fingers clutching soft brown hair. "I can't live in fear any more that one day you'll be gone. No more fear Tony. You have to stand up and fight." There was the soldier in him talking. Steve didn't understand, not every thing was a simple fight of good vs evil.

Then the other hand released his arm from the wall. Tony's arm fell and hung limp by his side. Suddenly Steve's free arm clutched around Tony's waist and drew the broken man to him. Tony could feel the warmth of Steve's perfectly toned body beneath him, even through his alcohol haze. Even through all the pain. Steve's warmth penetrated through the darkest parts of his soul, like a light pointing the way out.

The man pressed Tony's head to his shoulder fiercely. "I'm not going to let you fight this all on your own. What ever it is you're fighting I'm hear for you. Tony your not alone." Some how this time the words penetrated. He wasn't alone, but how could that be? He was totally alone. No one could see him any more, all they saw was Stark so how could any one ever help Tony?

Slowly Tony raised his limp arm and placed it gently around Steve's waist. Maybe he couldn't see right in this moment of darkness. Maybe he was not alone. Maybe he had to wait for the clouds to pass and then he could see the light. Some part of him, who wasn't either Tony or Stark, wanted to live to find out. To see, maybe one day to understand that he wasn't alone. Tony finally looked at Steve's blue eyes. Maybe there really is always a way out. Maybe he just had to fight harder to see it. And maybe, just maybe, one day the answer would be there, with no more darkness to hide it.

Authors note- This was inspired by Not Alone, by Red and No More, by Three Days Grace. This is my first Stony. Hope you guys like it! Reviews feed the starving writer.