A/N: Surprise! It's PikachutheConqueror again! Psych!

This week's chapter is based on a theory that everyone loves to contemplate but not many (to my knowledge) actually believe. But hey, the concept is amusing, so I'll use it here. Also, you may notice that the set-up for this chapter (based on the end of the last episode (5.12)) is very transparently to serve my own purposes. I congratulate you on having better observation skills than Arthur.

If I owned Merlin, I would have procrastinated less with the reveal and not done it at the last possible second. Seriously, how are they going to fit that much angst into one episode?

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo

Chapter 11: The Talk

Done with his plan to unnerve Morgana using his disguise as Dragoon the Great, Merlin changed back into his normal self and strode into Camelot's army's camp. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into Arthur's tent to find his King reviewing a map of Camlann.

Arthur, for his part, didn't think he'd ever been happier to see Merlin in his life; he let out his feelings with an insult. "Come out of your hidey-hole, have you? Ready to face the world like a man?"

He waited for Merlin's retort, but it was not forthcoming. Frowning, Arthur looked up. Then he swallowed hard – Merlin was wearing his "I really have to tell you something that you're not going to like" face.

"What is it now?" he asked, bracing himself.

Meanwhile, Merlin was doing the same. It really was, as they say, now or never. Because if he didn't do it now, Arthur, and Camelot, would be finished by morning. There was no more getting around it; no sneaky plans conducted in secret, no disguises, no option other than honesty.

Merlin didn't think he'd ever been so terrified in his life.

"Um, Arthur? I have to tell you something."

Arthur was characteristically brash. "I know there's a good possibility we're all about to die, Merlin, but that's no excuse to get all blubbery on me."

Merlin took a breath. "Something important."

Arthur sighed and looked at Merlin with the open expression he only used when he actually thought they were going to die. "I know, old friend. This is the part where you say you have absolute faith in me and that you are honoured to be at my side." He paused, but looked Merlin squarely in the eyes. "And I have always been honoured by your faith in me."

"Ah... thank you, Arthur," Merlin said, genuinely pleased. "But I actually meant something that could get us out of this mess."

Arthur immediately straightened and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh. Yes, right. And what is that?"

"Uh, it...well, you see..."

"Out with it Merlin!"

"Well, it might be rather shocking. Or you might not believe me. Or you might, uh, execute me."

Arthur stared.

"I just wanted to make sure you're ready for it," Merlin cautioned.

Arthur nodded.

Before he could think better of it, Merlin looked right into Arthur's eyes, and said, with a curious mixture of apology and defiance, "I have magic."

Arthur looked at Merlin long and hard. Merlin held his gaze.

At last Arthur spoke. "I know."

Merlin blinked. He was positive he mustn't have heard correctly. "What?"

"I. Know."

"Know what?"

"That you have magic."

Merlin gaped. "That's not possible."

Arthur snorted. "With all the spells you do while I'm around and all the magical knowledge you're always spouting off? Oh, I assure you, Merlin, it's entirely possible."

"I..but..." The world had suddenly become very difficult for Merlin to understand. "You never said – "

"Of course I never said anything!" Arthur said, as though talking to a child. "You were obviously terrified that I would execute you. So I let you think you were getting away with it so you wouldn't worry."

"I don't suppose you could have told me that you weren't going to execute me!" Merlin snapped. Then he hesitated. "You...you're not going to...right?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Of course not. You've clearly been using your powers for good."

"But you're always saying that magic is evil!"

"Well obviously if I was going to convince you that I didn't know you had magic, I was going to have to pretend to have absolute contempt for it! Haven't you noticed that I hardly ever actually execute sorcerers?"

"I, but – " Merlin was having extreme difficulty following Arthur's line of reasoning. "That's the most demented logic I've ever heard! Wouldn't it have caused less stress and fear for everyone if you had just been honest with me from the start about how you felt about magic and that you knew I had it?"

Arthur grimaced. "I wanted to, Merlin, I really did, but the longer I kept it from you the harder it became to try to tell you. I was... sort of...hurt that you didn't trust me, so I wanted to prove myself – to earn your trust so you would tell me on your own. And..." he paused, then went on rather quickly, "And I also didn't want it to affect our friendship. It was just easier to go on tricking you. I'm sorry."As Arthur finished, he looked up and surveyed Merlin nervously.

Merlin noticed this with unease. "What?"

"I...I hope you can forgive me for hiding this from you."

No, things were definitely not on the right axis here. It was as though Arthur was spouting every confession, excuse and apology Merlin had always wanted to tell him, but flipped around. Unfortunately, due to the shock of the situation, the irony was lost on the poor man.

"Um...yeah," he managed. "Yeah, sure. Of course."

Arthur straightened, suddenly business-like. "Excellent. Now let's go, Merlin, Morgana's not going to wait until you've picked your jaw up off the floor to attack, and I think you'll probably need it to say whatever magic spell thing you think is going to save us this time."

As Arthur strode from the tent, he was pleased to hear the familiar sound of Merlin's footsteps following.

But it was Merlin who had the last word. "Clotpole."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo

A/N: So, not the best thing I've ever written. But written before the last episode, and that's what I was going for.

Also: very sorry for the mega- late update. Life exploded. Honestly, I'm just amazed this many people think we're funny. Thank you to everyone who reads, favourites, follows, and/or reviews! To continue supporting us, send us your suggestions for chapters to write (via reviews, so that all three authors can see them). There's no guarantee that we'll write every idea we get (and we still have a few ourselves), but we'd love to hear your ideas! The show may end soon, but that doesn't mean the fun has to: the humorous alternate-ending possibilities are endless.

That said, updates may be less regular in the future. We won't be writing every week, but we'll still be writing when we can.

And in case you're wondering about the "oooooooooo", I thought it would make a cool sound effect. Totally not the only way I could get ffn to notice my section divides. Not that I'd be, you know, bitter or anything; lines are for squares.