This is something I'm doing so I can emit all the strange thoughts I frequently have. It's filled with nonsensical hilarious content, and it gets really crazy at certain times. Just thinking I should warn you guys. I'll explain more at the end of the chapter.

"GUYS! I just found a sloth that does fortunetelling!" Sid exclaimed, as he suddenly ran up to us.

I rolled my eyes. "Random much, Sid? And what do you want us to do about it?"

Sid frowned, having realized that nobody caught on to his drift. "I want you, me, and Diego to have our fortunes read! And saying 'random much'? Really? You sound like Peaches! You're too old for teenage talk!"

I heard my daughter snickering behind me. I glared at the sloth. "You're the only one I know who would say that out loud."

"Does that mean you guys want to get fortunes?"

"No!"

Ugh, Sid. He may be one of the closest friends I have, but he's like a rash you can't get rid of. Sometimes I like my other friend, Diego, better. A lot better. But that doesn't mean-

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think it's a good idea, Manny. It would be fun if Sid ends up getting a fortune telling him he'll die because the fungus on his fur ends up catching on fire. And by the time, he still won't have any love life."

...But that doesn't mean I don't think he has problems. Okay, I admit it, that joke was pretty funny, but too insensitive for me to actually laugh at. However, Shira, who is probably just as messed up as he is, didn't hesitate to burst out laughing. Maybe favoring dark humor was a saber thing.

Sid looked horrified. "WHAT?"

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who thinks that he needs to learn how to figure out if someone's joking or being serious.

Diego exchanged glances with Shira. "Sid, I was joking."

Sid immediately cheered up. "Oh, okay. But you really want to get fortunes?"

"That part was also part of the joke. So no."

Ellie shook her head. "Come on, you two. It could be fun. I'd love to come, Sid."

Sid looked troubled. "Right, um... The fortuneteller only bothers to read guys' fortunes."

Shira stared. "Well then, that's sexist. What's his problem with girls?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? She's a girl."

The rest of us kept on staring and staring. Until...

"THEN WHY DOES SHE ONLY READ FORTUNES FOR GUYS?" I wonder how we can all yell in unison like that...

Sid shrugged. "It's kind of complicated..."

"Oh yeah, so it's like she set up this whole fortunetelling business just so some nice guy could want his fortune read, and fall in love with her, and become her mate to love for the rest of her life!" Diego sneered acidly. At that time, I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. Even I find it hard to tell with him sometimes.

All of us, including Sid, were shooting him weird looks. Where'd he come up with that?

"Diego, that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever-"

Sid cut me off. "That's exactly what she's trying to do. I always knew you were a mind-reader!" Now it was his turn to receive stares, especially from Diego. I guess that indicates that he was being sarcastic after all.

One hour later

Diego was arguing with Sid for the entire hour, with the rest of us watching.

I decided to speak up, after a question came to mind. "Hey, what if she never finds a sloth mate?"

"Oh, she's interspecific."

"WHAT?"

"Interspecific means that she likes animals that aren't her species-"

"I KNOW what interspecific means, Sid!"

One hour later

Diego and I spent the past 47 minutes yelling at Sid that this was a bad idea. As for the leftover 13, Ellie, Peaches, and Shira got really sick of us causing a scene for almost 2 hours straight, and forced us to go and get the fortunetelling business over with.

"I hate this," Diego kept on muttering, as we were going to wherever this fortuneteller is.

Sid nudged him. "Lighten up, Diego! It doesn't take that long!"

"I still don't get why we have to do this and possibly end up with some crazy fortune girl falling for one of us. I have a girlfriend, and even if I didn't, I wouldn't want to date a sloth."

"Well... Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's bad at fortunes! I heard that almost every one she gave out is true!"

"What kind of fortunes does she give out anyway?" I asked.

"Love fortunes!"

I was confused. "Then why do me and Diego need our fortunes read? We both have mates already."

"I haven't exactly mated with Shira yet, Manny..."

I ignored Diego, and kept my focus on Sid.

Sid shrugged. "Don't you want to know what's in store for you and Ellie in the future?"

"I'd rather not, it's not like it's going to change anything. Besides, it should be obvious that we're going to stay together."

"True...but there's a chance that things will end badly for Diego and Shira."

"I'm right here," Diego said, growing more irritated by the second.

Sid patted him on the head. "Sorry tiger, but your relationship with her is the type that tends to leave you broken-hearted for life."

Diego growled, and I was sure that he was about to eat Sid, if a female sloth hadn't ran up to the three of us. She smiled. "Hello Sid! I see you've come back!"

Sid smiled back. "Hey Lola! These are my friends, Manny the Moody Mammoth and Diego the Deadly Saber. Guys, this is Lola, the fortuneteller."

I paid no heed to Sid's nicknames for us, and stared at the sloth now known as Lola. She had blue fur, but what really was bizarre was her eyes. Her left one was yellow, while the right was green.

Sid kept on talking. "They want to know the fate of their love."

"No, we don't," Diego muttered. You were the one who wanted to come here, and everyone else decided to side with you."

Lola smiled. "Either way, I'll do it." She put this arranged set of leaves on her head like a crown. Sid explained to us that it was her psychic device. Even after that, Diego's WTF expression never left his face.

He looked at me. "Somehow I just know that this is gonna go wrong."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to do this either, but it's not like we can do anything about it. Besides, what are the chances that she's going to fall in love with either of us?"

It's one week later, and Diego is still mad at both of us. It's pretty obvious why he's angry with Sid, so I'm not going to launch a full-blown explanation on that. As for me, he accused me of 'being full of jinxes.'

I'll elaborate for you. Lola ended up growing attracted to Diego in the end, and tried to hump him (She was a lot less annoying when she wasn't lovesick). And with his luck, Shira ended up coming by at that moment. Of course, she wasn't happy at what she was seeing, so she dragged him away. She ended up giving him the cold shoulder for a couple of days before he finally managed to get her to listen to him and explain why it happened. They're back to normal now, but Diego's still holding a grudge and blaming us for giving him so much 'stress.'

Life lesson learned: Never go to a fortuneteller where she might end up humping you, no matter how unlikely it may seem.

Crabapples... I so fail at writing Manny. OTL

The title of this fanfic should be pretty self-explanatory...and this chapter and the story summary should give the hint that this whole thing is extremely random.

Also, this will have POV switchings between chapters, meaning that the next chapter will most likely be from Sid's POV, and then the third will be in Diego's, and so on. I'm planning on keeping the POVs between these three guys for now, though there's a 70% chance that I'll end up adding other characters in as well.

I am very well aware that the ending of this chapter was very WTF, but I was not about to start writing a humping scene in detail. Let your imagination run free on what it was like.