The three boys sat idly in Mello and Matt's room, having made exactly no progress since letting Near join them. They were supposedly 'thinking up a plan'; in reality, Matt was fixated with his GameBoy, Near was playing with a Transformer and Mello was nibbling at his chocolate, pretending not to care about anything. However, as much as he hated to admit it, he did care. He hated the way he and Matt had been made to look like fools in front of the entire orphanage, and hating was something Mello had had a lot of practice at. He had never told anyone of the quiet anger that simmered inside him—except for Matt, whom he told everything.

Now, after today's shenanigans, he finally had someone to direct his general frustration at: A and B. Sitting around like this wasn't doing anything to improve his mood. He'd had enough of thinking. He wanted to be doing.

"Am I the only one here who's actually bothered about getting our revenge?" he wondered aloud.

"Unless you come up with a decent plan, then yes," Matt answered. "We all saw what a right royal cock-up my plan was."

"Agreed," Near stated.

Mello flopped down on his bed. That was another thing that had been bugging him; when B had held the mistletoe above their heads, it had seemed like Matt had wanted to kiss him. He certainly hadn't objected.

This thought was more than a little disturbing. Mello had never really thought about it before, but was it possible that Matt was gay? For him? He shook his head. No, that was impossible. Matt was definitely straight. Probably.

And then there was another question; was Mello gay? He considered this. He'd always assumed he was straight, but his rational mind couldn't completely rule out that scenario. He blushed as he remembered the sensation of Matt's lips against his own. He'd been too humiliated to comprehend his feelings at the time, but when he looked back on it... it had felt almost nice.

"Hey, Mels. Whatcha thinking about?" Matt called, still not taking his eyes off the screen.

"The way in which you were smiling while stroking your lips suggests you were remembering the kiss and associating pleasant feelings with it," said Near.

Mello stared at the ten-year-old in dumbfounded astonishment, his comeback stuck in his throat.

"Smooth, Near, real smooth," Matt guffawed. He started to giggle, but hid it with a ridiculously over-the-top coughing fit.

"Anyway," Near continued, "I have been thinking, and I have an idea."

"Oh, really?" Mello raised a sceptical eyebrow. "And what might that be? If there's a risk of getting Roger again, I'm out."

"Same here," Matt nodded.

Near blinked expressionlessly. "Do you not trust me?"

"Not really, no," Mello crossed his arms.

"Well then. The plan," Near got up and peered up and down the corridor, before closing the door and shuffling over to them, "is this."

The boys huddled by the kitchen door. From inside came the clattering of pots and pans and the sterile smell of washing-up liquid. They could vaguely hear the cook humming "Deck the Halls" to herself.

"Everyone knows what they've got to do?" Near's question was met with affirming nods from his teammates.

"Matt goes in and distracts her, you sneak in and steal the chilli powder and I keep watch outside," Mello recited. "Got it."

"I still don't get why I have to be the one to create a diversion," Matt grumbled, "it means I'm the one most likely to get in trouble!"

"If we get caught then we'll all get in trouble," Near corrected. "Besides, I chose you because you're the most naturally inquisitive and irritating of all of us," he said slowly, deliberating over his word choice. "She won't be suspicious of you going in and asking weird questions about what they eat for Christmas dinner in other countries or whatever you're going to ask. Besides, she likes you."

"Fine," the redhead huffed, before standing and edging nervously into the kitchen. He looked back at Mello for support.

"Go on," the blond mouthed.

Matt took a deep breath and stepped fully inside. A few seconds later, they heard voices.

"Good luck, Near," Mello hissed as the youngest boy ducked into the kitchen.

Near dived behind the closest counter and peered over the top. The cook was standing with her back to him and Matt was chatting animatedly. He couldn't make out what was being said, but he knew the woman wouldn't be fully distracted for long. He had to act fast.

As his socked feet slid silently across the tiles to the cupboard where the spices were kept, he had an overwhelming urge to hum the Mission Impossible theme. How odd.

He opened the cupboard door just a crack and reached inside, before his fingers closed around a small pot. He took it out and read the label: 'Chilli powder. Warning—extra hot. Use sparingly.' He dashed back across the room, giving Matt the thumbs-up as he went.

Near crouched down next to Mello in the corridor outside. "Got it," he said, delicately holding the pot between his thumb and forefinger. Mello took it, opened the lid, and sniffed it.

"Jesus on a bike, that's hot!" he exclaimed. "It's perfect!" he grinned wickedly.

A few seconds later, they were joined by their gamer friend, and the trio ran upstairs to carry out the second part of their masterplan.

"This is gonna be a lot harder than last time. A and B won't be so easily distracted," Mello fretted out loud.

"Relax, Mels," Matt drawled in a weirdly sleazy tone. "I have all this worked out, and this time it won't fail. I swear on my goggles," he said, pulling them down over his eyes.

"But what are you going to do?"

"Just you watch."

Near and Mello watched curiously as Matt swaggered over to the door of A and B's room, keeping out of sight of its occupants. He ruffled his hair a bit and started breathing heavily, as if he'd just been running. After a moment of this, he flung open the door and yelled, "Oh my God, guys, you have to come and see this! I've hacked the TV so we've got the Playboy channel!"

There was some angry muttering from inside. The two brightest students at Wammy's clearly weren't happy about being disturbed. Mello smiled as his imagination filled in the gaps and he pictured all the things Matt could have walked in on.

"But—but—" Matt stammered, before a wave of inspiration swamped him. "One of the women has her boobs out! Come quick, before Roger finds out!" Matt skidded out of the room, followed by a reluctant-looking A and B. Mello frowned. Could they be gay, too?

Nevertheless, the distraction had worked; the two older boys had rounded the corner without so much as glancing behind them at the younger ones.

Not wanting to waste any time, Mello and Near entered the bedroom and immediately found what they were looking for; a bottle and two half-full glasses of red wine, which had either been pestered out of Roger or stolen. As B was involved, Mello suspected it was the latter.

Each boy took a pinch of chilli powder and sprinkled it into a glass. "Do you think that's enough?" Mello wondered.

"It says 'use sparingly,'" Near read from the label, "but it doesn't define 'sparingly,'" he mused, twirling his scruffy hair.

"Then I guess we can't be too careful," Mello grinned, adding another pinch to the glasses. And another. And another. And another. "Screw it," he sighed, shaking the whole pot over each glass.

"They're coming!" Near cried from by the door, his eyes wide in alarm.

The boys had just fled the crime scene when their victims rounded the corner, complaining about Matt's 'hacking'. A very smug-looking 'hacker' trailed a few metres behind them, either unnoticed or ignored, and joined his friends in their hiding place.

A few seconds later, the heavenly sound of spluttering and choking caressed their ears. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay to enjoy their victory for long, and had to leg it. Everyone at Wammy's knew how batshit crazy B was.

As they fled, Mello glanced over his shoulder, relieved to see that they weren't being pursued—yet. "Merry frickin' Christmas, asshats," he hissed triumphantly.

A/N: Well, that's it for this story! Matt and Mello got their revenge, even though B probably beat them up for it. ^_^ I didn't mean to make A and B the antagonists of this story, but they just turned out that way. I love them really, so maybe I'll write a BB fic to make up for it. :3 Love you all! Bye! x