So this is my first try at a angst one shot! I hope its not to bad!

And here is my first disclaimer, ever. Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 clues.

Escaped with Regrets

I was doing research on my laptop when Sinead walked in. She had escaped from the CCC for a couple of hours and decided to visit me. Luckily Ian let her borrow his jet. Under the condition that she would take over all of his Saladin related duties.

"Any progress? Have you located them?"

"Not much progress," I admit.

She glances at her watch. "Have you checked the clock recently?"

I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It's already 12:30? I've been it here sense 11:00! I've been researching for a full hour and a half and I still haven't gotten a headache! But I tried to play it cool. "I'll go to bed after I finish up."

"Okay, just try to go to bed soon. Night."

"Night," I reply as she shuts the door.

After I finish, I shut the screen to reveal the picture of Ted, Sinead, and I in our old house in Oak Bluffs. We were standing on the staircase and wearing our matching polo shirts. We even had the same pants and shoes. It was before the explosion, back when Ted could see and I could think straight. Luckily at the moment I'm on this medication that allows me to think, but the problem is I can't take it too often. Then I realized something. If the explosion didn't happen, Ted and I wouldn't have needed surgery, which means Ted wouldn't have been kidnapped. I try to control my emotions but can't help myself. I knock the pencil holder off my desk spilling pencils all over the carpeted floor. I drop my face into my hands. Why couldn't I have been blinded instead of Ted? Why couldn't I have been kidnapped? Why can't I help more than this?! I know that I can't do too much research without getting a headache, but Ted's been kidnapped and I haven't done much to help! I mean for crying out loud I'm over here in a hotel while he's in a cell! I slammed my laptop shut and flopped onto my bed. Even though I try to stop them, the tears just start spilling down my face. Why can't my family be normal? Why can't I worry about who I'm taking to prom like normal 18 year olds instead of worrying about whether my brother is going to live another day? Why can't my sister have a normal job instead of monitoring a top secret control center? Why can't my life be normal?!

"Ned, are you okay?!" asks Sinead as she's running down the hall toward my room. She probably thought I had a headache or something. Then she opens the door and her face turns from alarm to compassion. "What's wrong?" She asks as she sits beside me.

"Nothing," I quickly state as I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Please let her not notice that I'm crying, please let her not notice that I'm crying.

"Ned," she says as she looks my straight in the eye. "You can tell me."

"I said that I was fine," I almost growl. Why can't she see that I don't want to talk about it?

She looked at the laptop and seems to figure out part of my outburst. "Ned, I know you think that this is all your fault, but it's not. Ted tripped, that wasn't your fault."

"Then whose fault was it?! If it wasn't mine then whose was it?!" I'm screaming now as I feel the tears streaming down again. "Sinead, it was my fault! I left my own brother behind and let him be kidnapped by blood thirsty Vespers! I left him behind!" I'm furiously pacing my room now as I try to get myself under control. Then I remember those Vespers and punch a hole in the wall, not a dent but a hole that I could stick my head through and see the dining room. Then Sinead runs up and wraps her arms around me. Since we're about same height, I just let my head rest on her shoulder as she tries her best to get me to calm down. Then all of the sudden Sinead starts to cry as well. I wrap my arms tighter around her as we cry onto each other's shoulders.

"He's going to be alright Ned," she says as she tries to act strong.

"How do you know? We don't have the clues, and the only reason Vesper One has kept him alive this long is because he needs to use the hostages as threats. What if Amy and Dan fail and he kills Ted?"

"First of all Amy and Dan wont fail, and Vesper One knows that if he kills a single hostage all the Cahill's will unite and kick his sorry butt." I almost smile at that. After we both calm down a bit, Sinead looks at her watch and tells me she has to go. I hug her one last time and watch the plane take off from my window. That's one of the benefits about having the top suite of a hotel. Once the jets out of sight, I get ready for bed and pick up all my pencils. I go to bed with two thoughts running through my mind.

One is the fact that we are going to get Ted back.

The second is how I'm going to explain the hole in the wall to the hotel manager.

So, how was this? Really dumb? I honestly didn't think this turned out to great, but someone needed to write a Ned angst about the kidnapping! Well I don't have much to say except, thanks for reading and thank you in advance to my reviewers! Oh and if you have an idea for the cover of this story let me know!

Starlinglover