A/N: We are all very fortunate that I had the thought to save the entire completed document an instant before my dog set his head on the keyboard. He's a big dog. Now I need to go down and delete 30 pages of odd, scattered +s.

This was literally done in one sitting, an instant after I got the idea out of nowhere. I actually typed it up before my homework. I dunno. I guess it's the best I could do. Ideas seem to be evading me lately. xD

Enjoy.

Green

Ryuk went incorporeal and poked his head through the vent. He looked high and low. No cameras.

He withdrew from the vent and looked around fervently. No Light.

Which meant Ryuk had the house almost-to-himself. He chuckled, but then shook his head a little in embarrassment. Almost-to-himself. He'd have to be careful of Light, who was probably in the bathroom down the hall, doing his hair for the eighth time that day. He chuckled quietly instead.

Then he slowly drifted down through the floor, landing in the kitchen. As he thought: there was no one there. Light's mother and sister were out. His father was never around anyway.

Ryuk, feeling quite diabolical, drifted over to the fruit bowl. There were several apples and an assortment of other fruit Ryuk didn't care about.

Only the apples. Juicy, sweet, delicious, red glory.

But what was this?

Ryuk spotted an unfamiliar color in the bunch. He glanced over his shoulder furtively, to make sure Light hadn't come downstairs. Seeing nothing, he turned his attention back to the fruitbowl. He picked up a red apple and peered down.

Green.

Eyes shining, he reached forward and seized the green object.

It was an apple.

Awed, he turned it over in his ringed hands. He held it up to his eyes.

"Granny Smith…" he mumbled, seeing the small sticker.

He'd never seen a green apple. He'd had no idea they came in anything other than red. How does one make a green apple?

And then came hesitancy.

One was red, and one was green. Which one was correct? Had he been living a lie? Ryuk didn't know what to think. He didn't know how to deal with a green apple. Would they taste the same? Why were they different colors?

He scratched his chin, thinking. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, humans came in different colors. So did shinigami.

But no. That wasn't a good thing to compare it to. Each human was different. Look at Light and L. One of them had to be correct, didn't they? But Ryuk didn't much care what either of them thought. He puzzled the same thing over with shinigami.

What did he, Ryuk, want? Ryuk wanted apples.

Ryuk slapped himself mentally. But it was true. Ryuk wanted apples more than anything.

Now, what did, say…Deridovely want?

Deridovely was an idiot.

Armonia Justin Beyondormason was better compared to Ryuk. They were both smart. But Ryuk was, if he did think so himself, considerably better looking.

It was settled. Ryuk wanted apples, and Armonia Justin Beyondormason wanted to be as good looking as Ryuk. Now, that made them different shinigami.

What makes a different apple? Is it color, or is it not? What's in a red apple versus a green apple? That which we call an apple by any other color would taste as heavenly? Ryuk slapped himself again.

He needed to focus! This was a very serious matter!

Ryuk looked down at the small green fruit settled in his palm once again. He could just taste it…that would solve the whole predicament. But he still didn't know why there had to be two kinds. To confuse him? Or because he was being fooled? Someone was plotting against him! Light! That arrogant she-boy was behind it! Ryuk would not be fooled by Light. He would show him.

Ryuk brought the apple to his mouth confidently. He jerked his head violently, taking a great ripping bite out of it. Triumphant, he crunched it up in his mouth. Juice burst from it and Ryuk concentrated on the taste.

Just as Light walked down the stairs, Ryuk's eyes watered and his taste buds shriveled.

"-our!" Ryuk yelled, hopping up and down on the spot.

"What?" Light mouthed, looking panicked.

"Sour!" Ryuk howled. He spit the chewed apple out of his mouth. It rocketed across the kitchen and hit a wall, ricocheting off of it. Light dodged it, a disgusted look on his face. Ryuk stuck his tongue out of his mouth and clawed at it, scratching the surface, trying to get the sour out of his mouth.

"Of course it's sour. It's a green apple," he mouthed.

"Aie dib oo twick meh!?" Ryuk said, still scraping his tongue.

"Why did I trick you?" Light questioned, having to pantomime a bit to get his meaning across without speaking.

"Auh!"

Light shook his head, sneering. Ryuk took that to mean: I didn't trick you.

"Auh oo dib! Oo waye! En oo rifespah is uhp, Imma kull oo!"

Light rolled his eyes and headed back up the stairs, leaving Ryuk in the kitchen with the chewed up apple bits.

Next: Blue.

^ Also no ideas for.