Crazy Days are Here Again

"Why is this so hard?" Remy pondered aloud to himself. "It's not like I haven't done stuff like this before. But this is different. This is special. I need to come up with something big. It has to be great. It has to be perfect. It..."

"Remy!"

"Huh?" Remy looked around and saw he had wandered into the recreation room. Piotr was sitting in a nearby chair. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Piotr asked, concerned. "You seem troubled."

"Na. I'm fine," Remy waved absently. "Just thinking about stuff."

"Oh. Okay," Piotr shrugged. "Has Sabertooth come out of his room yet?"

"Nope. He's still holed up in there mourning over his wrecked bike," Remy said. "And hiding underneath his bed whimpering while mumbling about evil Pyro clones."

"I do not blame him," Piotr twitched slightly.

"So what have you been up to?" Remy asked.

"These," Piotr held up something in his hands. "A new and amazing art form that I have never encountered before. It is ingenious. It is incredible!"

"It's a balloon animal," Remy blinked at the green balloon in Piotr's hands. It had been formed to look like a puppy. "You're playing with balloon animals?"

"Yes," Piotr smiled setting the balloon puppy aside. "I never knew balloons could be worked and shaped into so many different forms. And they are very fun to make."

"I see," Remy whistled at the large and various number of balloon animals spread throughout the room. Some of them we even taller than he was. "Where the heck did you get all of these balloons?"

"I found them in a large crate while I was cleaning up the storage rooms," Piotr reached into a bag and began blowing up another balloon with a small handheld pump. "I think Pyro was originally going to use them for something, but forgot about them."

"What makes you say that?" Remy asked.

"This book I found with them titled 'Ten Thousand and One Things to Make Out of Balloons Before Having Them Spew Out Fire and Blow Up'," Piotr gestured to the open book before him. "And the two dozen tanks of ethylene stored next to the balloons."

"That would do it," Remy didn't miss a beat. "Hmmm. Hey, Piotr. Could I have some of those balloons? Say, a few hundred?"

"I suppose," Piotr looked at him warily. "Why?"

"I think they'd make a great arrangement in a certain person's bedroom," Remy smiled thinking about it. "Not mine of course. Someone else's..."

"You are trying to impress that girl in the X-Men again," Piotr said. "Rogue."

"Yeah," Remy admitted sliding onto the couch. "I can't help it homme. There's something about her that just draws me in."

"Okay," Piotr replied uncertainly.

"And she likes me too!" Remy absently picked up some inflated balloons and began playing with them. "I know she does! She just has trouble expressing it."

"If you say so," Piotr looked unconvinced.

"And our relationship is growing!" Remy began to get a goofy smile on his face. "Every time we meet we end up taking it a little farther. Last time I made a whole, handmade picnic feast for her and she touched me!"

"She punched you out," Piotr noted.

"It was still a touch!" Remy insisted. "Okay, it wasn't a physical skin to skin touch, but in her case it was close enough! The intent was there!"

"She intended to break your nose," Piotr corrected. "And succeeded."

"Rogue still touched me," Remy smiled dreamily. "And it felt soooooo good."

"Oh dear," Piotr groaned.

"She wanted to get close. She wanted to make contact with me," Remy sighed.

"And she did," Piotr said. "With her fist."

"She would only want to get close to someone she liked," Remy grinned. "We were only inches apart."

"Right before you fell over unconscious," Piotr added.

"And now I have to do something special for her!" Remy shouted. "I'll sneak in and leave her the best present ever! It will be big! But what? What would Rogue like?"

"She would probably like you to not sneak into her room," Piotr suggested. "Or anywhere else for that matter."

"Flowers! I'll get her lots and lots of flowers!" Remy smiled. "Flowers held aloft by balloons! But wait. What if she's allergic to them? What if they attract bees? I gotta come up with something else."

"Why not just meet her in a casual setting and tell her you like her?" Piotr suggested while making a balloon bear. "And then wait and see if she says she likes you. That is the most polite thing to do, right? Remy? Are you listening to me?"

"CANDY! I'll leave her candy!" Remy had a crazy look in his eye. "Boxes of the finest chocolate candy. Swiss, Belgian, Bavarian, Wonka!"

"Never mind," Piotr sighed.

"No! Stupid me! Rogue isn't the kind of femme to go for that kind of stuff," Remy cursed. "What was I thinking?"

"I have no idea," Piotr groaned.

"Boxing gloves! I'll get her boxing gloves!" Remy smiled in realization. "Rogue likes boxing. Plus boxing gloves are useful! She'll like that!"

"If you get her those she will probably like to use them on you," Piotr noted.

"JEWELRY! How could I forget the jewelry?" Remy went on. "But what to get? Rogue is already the most valuable jewel around! I know! I'll leave her a mirror! And some hairbrushes! And a motorcycle!"

"You better not give her one of ours," Piotr warned. "Especially mine!"

"Will that be enough? Will it be too much? Aaarrrggghhh!" Remy looked at the collection of balloons he had been working with. He had made them into a vague depiction of Rogue's head. "Oh chérie. Why do haunt my thoughts? My mind is disturbed just from thinking about you."

"That is not the only thing that is disturbed," Piotr groaned.

"Don't worry chérie! I'll prove I'm the one for you! Then we will finally be together!" Remy leaned in and kissed the balloon.

"Oh dear," Piotr covered his eyes. "And I thought you kissing pillows was bad."

"Rogue...Rogue..." Remy crooned.

"Colossus!" Magneto stormed into the room with an angry look on his face. "What are you doing wasting time playing with balloons? I told you to report to me after you had finished cleaning up the storage rooms. There are still feathers all over the Sphere Hangar and...why is Gambit kissing a balloon?"

"Um," Piotr tried to come up with an explanation. "He is...um...uh...dreaming?"

"Oh chérie...my beautiful, fair chérie..." Remy continued to cover the balloon in smooches.

"Forget it. I don't want to know," Magneto wisely moved away from Remy. "But I do want to know why the Sphere Hangar is such a mess."

"It was not my job," Piotr protested. "Pyro was assigned to clean it up."

"Oh no, don't even get me started on that nut," Magneto grumbled. "He nearly blew up three hallways and the Training Dome when I ordered him to take out the trash! He keeps whining about how all his clothes were taken and torn to shreds so now he doesn't have anything left to wear! Now I have to waste my time getting him new clothes and approving everything he will want to get!"

"Why do you have to do that?" Piotr asked. "Why not let him get whatever clothes he wants?"

"Are you insane?" Magneto snapped at him. "Wait, stupid question. Think about what you just said. If I allow Pyro free reign on acquiring a new wardrobe there is no telling what kind of crazy stuff he would get! Or how they would affect him. Clothes make the man. How do you think Pyro would act if he was allowed to wear any old, bizarre costume he wanted?"

"Dah, dah-dah, dah, dah!" Pyro burst into the room wearing a red-orange hat, mask and cape. He struck a dramatic pose. "Out of the night, when the full moon is bright! Comes the mutant known as Pyro!"

"I had to ask," Magneto groaned as Pyro dashed around.

"This bloke of acclaim burns a P with his flame!" Pyro did so with a sword made of fire. "A P that stands for Pyro!"

"PYRO YOU LUNATIC!" Magneto roared as the flames burned into the wall. "I JUST REPAIRED THAT WALL AN HOUR AGO! NO DON'T BURN MY CHAIR!"

"Pyro! Pyro! The mutant so cunning and free!" Pyro giggled while setting more things on fire.

"Watch it!" Piotr shouted as several balloon animals burst from the flames' heat.

"Pyro! Pyro! Who makes the sign of the P!" Pyro burned a very large flaming letter into the floor.

"Yikes!" Remy snapped out of his daze and leapt out of the way. He dropped his balloon head of Rogue which burst as it fell into the flames. "CHÉRIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Pyro! Pyro! Pyro! Pyro! Pyro!" Pyro cackled skipping out of the room.

"COME BACK HERE YOU NUT!" Magneto roared chasing after him. "YOU'RE GONNA BE WEARING A BODY CAST AFTER I'M FINISHED WITH YOU!"

"ROGUE!" Remy almost dove into the flames. Piotr barely managed to hold him back. "ROGUE! COME BACK TO ME! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

"Not again," Piotr groaned. "Maybe hiding underneath a bed is not such a bad idea after all."

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the theme song to the TV show "Zorro".