I did warn you that my new fic was coming soon. Still working on updates, so please be patient. Naruto And The Olympians will be rewritten as well. I have really put some thought into this, so please do not flame. Under no circumstances short of death am I going to put a fic up for adoption, so please do not ask. And as for reviews, no one-liners. Tell me what you liked about my stories! I love positive feedback! Sometimes the chapters are short, I know, but if I ever get the chance, I will rewrite them. This is the story where I shall unveil my OC. Anyway, on with the fic.

Rock Lee: YOSH! NARUTO SON OF ARTEMIS DOES NOT OWN KICK-ASS OR NARUTO, BUT IF HE DID I WOULD DO 100 PUSH-UPS WITH POINTER FINGERS! AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT, I WILL DO 500 CHIN-UPS USING ONLY ONE ARM! AND IF I FAIL TO DO THAT-

-_- Just get on with it.

One Thousand Years Of Death

By Naruto Son Of Artemis

Prologue

I have stood by and watched as kingdoms rose and fell. Waited and observed as corrupt kings and mighty empires became dust in time. Stood silently as a brave new civilization rose to power and then battled against itself. Saw the Great Wars rage on like a mighty fire until they finally burnt out with a whisper. I sat and stared sadly as so many brave men gave their lives because some damned suit-wearing bastards refused to move to help them. Now I watch as the next step in history is made. A superhero.

The crazy little bastard calls himself Kick-Ass. Not much fighting experience, but he's got more than enough guts to make up for it. Plenty of balls and just as much heart. I have seen his tragic beginning. Who the fuck hits someone with a car and then drives off, anyway? Especially after they've been stabbed. But I digress. I see him go back to his normal life, or as normal as it gets when everyone thinks that you're gay. Poor guy. I see him fight three common thugs in the defense of a man that he does not know. I see him earn the trust of his long-time crush. I watch him foolishly rush to fight a band of drug dealers to help her.

I laugh as he is saved by the Rambo-Polly Pocket crossover that is Hit-Girl. I watch her and Big Daddy dismount the roof. I see them hiding away in their apartment stronghold. I wait as Marcus finds the apartment and is confronted by his old partner. I see the sadness in the man's eyes as he warns the vengeance-thirsty shell of his best friend about the corrupted system that is after them. I watch Hit-Girl blow the wetsuit crusader a kiss with the strangely seductive call of "Sweet dreams."

I see the traitor that is Red Mist rise through a cloak and dagger operation. I watch the naïve young man try to earn his father's love. I wait as the leather-wearing boy befriends his superhero superior. I stare as they miraculously make it through a burning warehouse together, the first step to unintentional treachery in this red glove. I growl in anger as the emo-prick shoots Hit-Girl. I watch him dragged away and taken home.

Tears fill my eyes as I watch the public execution of Big Daddy and the orphaning of Hit-Girl. I see Hit-Girl take her revenge and offer Kick-Ass the choice to help her end Frank D'Amico and his entire citywide terror operation. I watch as Frank D'Amico's men are slaughtered by the two.

Now I'm at the point where observation is no longer required. Now is the time for action. Now is the time for a real hero.

Now, I know it sounds weird. Yes, there will be Naruto and Mindy lemons. Yes it might seem a little fucked up. If you don't like it, please exit the fic right fucking now. Now for the poll.

45 votes

Option 1: 20 votes

Option 3: 15 votes

Option 2: 10 votes

When that fucker reaches 50, I will begin working on a new chapter, got it? Until then, don't pester me about it. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Until next time, BELIEVE IT!