Elegant He Is Not

There are five different ways the lives of Hibari Kyouya and Cavallone Dino can go, depending on what choices are made and what words are said.

(Byakuran Gesso begs to differ. He will argue and say that technically speaking, there is an infinite number of things that can possibly happen depending on what choices are made and what words are said, but though Byakuran is a genius who is too smart for his own good, he still doesn't quite understand the simplicity of other minds.)

Allow me to re-state my earlier sentence.

There are five different ways the lives of Hibari Kyouya and Cavallone Dino can go, depending on what choices are made and what words are said, AND the fact that things must go according to Katekyo Hitman Reborn, the events not allowed to spin off into an AU, thank-you-very-much.

(Byakuran Gesso laughs mockingly whilst stuffing marshmallows into his mouth. He loves causing mischief.)

A

Dino arrives in Japan to tutor – fight – Hibari in preparation for the Vongola ring battles. Day in, day out, the two are fighting, fighting and fighting, Romario being the one to witness the battle between tonfa and whip. They make it back just in time for Hibari to swoop in and save the day in his own strange way, and Sawada Tsunayoshi stutters and screams yet still mans up enough to eventually win the Sky Battle against Xanxus, and in the end that's the only thing that matters.

They travel to the future (well Hibari does, along with his reluctant boss and acquaintances who are almost considered his comrades), get their butts handed to them on a silver platter but then have yet another ridiculous character upgrade allowing them to ultimately win against the marshmallow addict that is Byakuran. All is fine and dandy, the plot of Katekyo Hitman Reborn proceeds as how it is meant to and though there are a few instances of seemingly gay acts (Dino coming back to help Hibari through the Arcobaleno Battle, yes) everything occurs as it should and the two retire with a healthy relationship as tutor and tutee that eventually turns into close friendship, though somewhat unwillingly on Hibari's part.

What at first starts out as a carnivore preying on another of its kind soon turns into friendly banter of the Hibari kind.

The sort that can be easily mistaken as a fight to the death, but anyone who knows Hibari would know that that isn't the intention (maybe) so all is well.

The two marry to respectable women in the mafia, start families and even as old men meet up every Sunday to exchange battle tips in place of knitting needles. The tips are what have kept them alive their whole lives after all, and battles make for a rather riveting story if told right.

Eventually, everyone dies.

B

Everything begins according to A, but somewhere along the way Dino decides that no, he doesn't just want to be Hibari Kyouya's tutor, he would very much like to be something a bit more, if only Kyouya would look at him in that way and without the predatory smirk that seems to be one of his favourite expressions, second only to the bored, disinterested one.

(He would also appreciate it very much if it was also without his tonfas out and ready to maim him, but Dino doesn't want to wish for something too unrealistic.)

One day when observing Hibari sleeping (it isn't as creepy as it sounds, Dino promises) he draws the conclusion that Hibari's ideal type would be the type of person who is calm, elegant and tranquil. Like the rain, maybe. That nice, calming effect is something that Kyouya would greatly appreciate, Dino reckons.

He decides to do his best to be like that too, and this is his first mistake.

A year after making his decision to be someone he's not, Dino returns to the quaint town of Namimori. He had left town one year ago in a journey to better himself, and his determination had paid off. Dino is now proud to say that he can now manage himself without his men having to be in his line of sight, and he is feeling good about his future with the Cloud Guardian of the Vongola.

"I'm getting married."

Hibari informs him of this exactly three hours after Dino's return, and he can feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. Nonetheless, he smiles with a smile that's a tad too bright, a jubilant-sounding "Congratulations, Kyouya!" escaping from his lips, replacing the millions of other words that threaten to spill out.

Hibari asks him if he wants to be the best man, and Dino agrees.

An arrow through the heart and Dino's dreams are crushed.

(Hibari lives a lovely life with a lovely wife and lovely kids and everything is as happy as it can get when the mafia and Hibari are together but-)

Eventually, everyone dies.

C

It occurs on a hot summer's day.

Dino is perspiring. The sweat is cool against his skin at first, but soon enough it turns sticky and uncomfortable. He wants to return to his hotel room to take a shower and remain in the cool, air-conditioned room for the rest of the summer days but instead he finds himself rooted to the ground staring in shock-filled silence at his raven-haired tutee, whip hanging loosely from his hand – the two had been sparring not ten minutes before.

Hibari is a shade of red that may not be entirely due to the hot summer heat. His hands are clenched tightly on the handles of his tonfas, the white of his knuckles a stark contrast to the hue of his face.

There's so much Dino wants to say. So many words and phrases that he has collected and hoarded in his mind in preparation for the possibility of this very moment, but before he can say anything at all, Hibari snaps out a "Pay attention to the fight, herbivore" and charges at him once more, tonfas at the ready.

The two continue their match as if nothing had happened, and eventually go their separate ways.

Both stay up sleepless nights, tossing and turning. One thinks of what could have been, the events that could have occurred if only he had opened his damn mouth and spoke with words and not his whip. The other thinks of the strange feeling that has been annoying him so much, before dismissing it as irritating herbivore feelings that hold no place in his life.

But neither of them says a word. Neither of them speaks of the what ifs, the could have been. Both marry nice women who they claim to love and eventually do, and even in old age the two can't quite ignore that constricting feeling in their chests whenever the other is mentioned.

Cavallone Dino always, always wonders what stopped him from asking the very simple question.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Eventually, everyone dies.

D

Dino briefly wonders whether it's possible to bottle this shattering emotion to use in future interrogations.

It'd be useful. That shattering sensation that runs throughout the entire body, making you numb yet so painfully aware. Dino is willing to bet that it's worse than any medieval torture, that this is probably the absolute worst thing that can happen to anyone, minus death of course. He considers this. Actually, this is probably on par with death. If death feels this bad then Dino will dedicate the rest of his life to creating a philosopher's stone, because this is a really, really horrible feeling that the blonde man is sure he never wants to experience again.

His eyes flicker to the hand of his beloved. It's resting snugly on the hip of another man. The cloud ring gleams from its position on his finger, a perfect match for the rain one of his lover.

"Congrats." Dino hears himself say, though the words barely register in his brain. He sounds too fake and he's waiting for one of them to call him out on it, but neither of them do. It seems they're too drunk on their own elation to spare the poor Cavallone boss another thought.

"Have you told Squalo?" he directs it at the lover, mustering up just enough strength to grin.

The other laughs, loud and carefree. "Ahahaha! No, not yet. Shall we go now?"

Yamamoto Takeshi turns to Hibari with a lop-sided grin that Dino tells himself is not nearly as nice as his own. (Just to make himself feel better, because really, Yamamato's eye smile is pretty killer to be honest.)

In D, Dino experiences the most pain he would ever feel, and Hibari lives a happy life with his lover Yamamoto. Yamamoto is everything Hibari has ever wanted – he's constant, learns to know what he likes and dislikes, and though he is a tad bit loud for his tastes, he learns to get used to it eventually, warming up more and more to the rain guardian. Hibari's thoughts do occasionally drift towards his mentor and the sad expression he gets one time too often, but when his Takeshi waltzes into the room with a bright smile and a "Hi, Hibari!", everything is ignored.

Yamamoto Takeshi is the rain, you see. He washes all troubles away.

(Minus Dino's.)

Yamamoto and Hibari live a fulfilled and happy life, and Dino eventually marries a woman, mainly in order to produce family. He wants a son you see, to be the Cavallone heir.

Eventually, everyone dies.

E

As in A, Dino decides to attempt to change for the better.

The only difference is, Dino fails this time – and quite badly, too.

He tries to live life without his men around, but as soon as the last one steps out the door the calm and suave Dino instantly turns into goof galore, all flailing limbs and unconfident fumbles. The man trips, stumbles and there's even a backflip at some point – no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, he just can't defeat his weakness of being so utterly useless when alone.

Dino knows this is a bad thing. Kyouya likes it when there is no crowding, Dino thinks as he inspects yet another bruise on his otherwise perfect skin. Kyouya absolutely abhors crowding. It's a sign of weakness, and irritates him until he decides to bite everyone to death, and not in the way that Dino would like.

(Here, he would put an abrupt stop to his train of thought. He doesn't want the water bills to rise, you see.)

Anyway. Despite knowing this is a bad thing, Dino returns to Namimori, half a year after he left. When he arrives, his favourite Kyouya (well, the only Kyouya he knows, but even if he knew a million of them, this one would always be his bias) is there to meet him at the airport. He's dressed in a purple shirt, fashionably thin tie and a smart black suit, and Dino already feels as if he had never left.

"I cancelled a date today for you, herbivore." Hibari says, after Dino has greeted him and placed his luggage in the boot and they're on the road.

Dino is glad he came back when he did. Any later and it may have been too late.

As in C, it happens whilst they're having a friendly spar.

Hibari looks as if he's ready to forget the whole thing ever happened and continue fighting his tutor, but with a sudden burst of determination and bravery Dino grabs the other's tonfa right as it's headed for his face, and asks the question.

He's glad he did.

A.N.

Hello all.

I am alive and writing, but just not for any stories that I have said I would write for, oops. I distinctly remember promising a re-write of Moon's Cry and an update to Chaos, but both have disappeared from my brain.

Instead, I present to you this D18 oneshot. The whole layout was actually inspired by another author (who is not on this website, I don't think) and I believe she got the idea from someone else, so if you have any idea where the idea originated from please please please let me know so I may be able to disclaim?

This piece of fanfiction is dedicated to my beloved husbando Lulu (here, she's known as Lulu-ichigo) - she requested D18, and despite having never written for either of them I decided to tackle the task, and I'm happy I did. No amount of digital text can describe how much this girl means to me. Tumble on!