Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Chapter 1

Never did I think I would be here.

I sat in the first row of seats with his family, listening once in a while to the different speakers at the microphone. I couldn't concentrate on everything they were saying, still unable to believe that I was sitting there. But I needed to focus.

I was next. And I had no idea what to say.

I felt a nudge in my side as I looked to my left and saw his mom, Lucy, motion that it was my turn. I moved in what seemed like slow motion. I slowly walked up to the microphone and grabbed it with my shaky hand. As I looked out at all the people who had gathered here in memory of him, I noticed all the tear-stained faces that mirrored mine. I took a breath, trying to calm myself as I began a speech I hadn't prepared in advance. I just knew that somehow the words would come.

"I..uh…I don't really know what to say that hasn't already been said. We all know what a good person Troy was. He was one of the most giving, loyal, kind, and loving guys you could ever ask for. He didn't know a stranger. I remember back in high school, everyone was his friend. Everyone wanted to be his friend, but half the time it wasn't because of his social status. It was because he showed them a friendly, kind side that a lot of people lack. A side of himself that most people had never been shown before and they were drawn to it."

I took another deep breath. "Troy was my best friend. We'd been friends for what seemed like forever." I smiled as I thought about him. "We confided everything in each other. Sometimes this was good and sometimes it was bad. Unfortunately this past year, it wasn't exactly things I wanted to be hearing from him. College was a different ball game for him. His social status had changed, and even though that didn't change who he was as a person, it changed how people looked at him. His fellow college classmates didn't look up to him and weren't always friendly to him.

"Although he enjoyed the classes he was taking and enjoyed learning, college wasn't a very good experience for him this past year. I saw a side of Troy I had never seen before. I saw a broken down Troy, one who wasn't afraid to shed tears in front of me on his hardest days. However, in the end, I think all the pressures finally got to him." I reached up to wipe away the tears that were quickly cascading down my cheeks. "When Lucy called me a week ago to tell me about his accident, I couldn't believe it. He couldn't be gone. That was the thought that kept going through my head. And I didn't want him to be gone because there was something that had been left unsaid between us.

"It wasn't until a few months ago that we finally realized we had feelings for each other. We tried the whole dating thing, and it was going really well. We loved being with one another and I don't think either of us could have been happier. But someone came between us and caused us to break up. We hadn't talked in a couple of months before his accident. So the day that Lucy called me, all I could think was…" I fought back a sob as I wiped away more tears. "All I could think was that I never got to tell him I loved him," I said as my voice cracked. I let out a sob as I laid the microphone down and walked back over to my chair where Lucy was waiting for me with open arms.

"Oh, sweetie. I didn't realize you felt that way." We sat there and cried, unaware of the silence in the room as the next speaker prepared to talk.

A few more of Troy's friends stepped up and gave short speeches about Troy's life and memories they shared with him. There wasn't a dry eye in the building. As the memorial service concluded, Lucy pulled me to the side.

"Gabi, would you come back to our house with us? We have some stuff we want to give you."

I nodded. "Sure, Lucy. I wasn't really looking forward to going home anyway."

Lucy gave me a wistful smile and hugged me. "I know he loved you, too," she whispered in my ear. This caused my tears to start up again.

"I wanted to tell him so bad, but now he's gone and the last memory of us together is an argument." I broke down in sobs once again. I felt an arm wrap around me and looked over to see my mom.

"Honey, let's get you home."

"No, Mom," I said, wiping my tears and taking a breath to steady myself. "Lucy wants me to come to their house and get some stuff. I'll be home later. I just need to be with them right now."

My mom nodded and walked off, knowing how close I had grown to the Boltons over the years. They were my second family, whether Troy and I were talking or not.

I finished up talking with a few people as everyone was leaving. The Boltons and I were the last ones there, just standing in the parking lot.

Jack, Troy's dad, walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "We all love you. You know that, right, Gabriella?" I nodded. "Good. You have no idea how happy it made me to hear you say what you did. I know Troy would have loved your speech and I know he felt the same way about you."

"If he felt that way, then why wasn't he willing to work things out with me?"

Troy and I had been dating for a couple of months, when Troy called me informing me we needed to talk. I knew it couldn't have been good by the tone of his voice. I asked him if we could meet up, but he refused to see me face to face. He wanted to do it all over the phone. He told me he'd been talking to one of my friends who had told him a bunch of things about me. My friend, Amber, had told Troy several things I had said, like how I hated how Troy kept me so busy all the time and had no time for other things and how I wished we didn't spend so much time together like we did. Amber also told Troy how I had told her a couple of things Troy had confided in only me. I argued with Troy, telling him that the things Amber said weren't true. At no point had I ever said anything like that. But he didn't believe me.

Troy never once yelled at me or raised his voice in any way throughout the conversation, but I knew he was upset. I tried to explain my side of things, but Troy just wouldn't believe me. The last thing he told me was that he needed some time to think through everything. That was the last time we talked. After that, I gave him some space, but after a couple weeks of not hearing anything, I tried contacting him, just wanting things to work out for us. However, he wouldn't answer his phone or text messages.

Two months passed without any communication between us, when I got the call from Lucy telling me there had been an accident. Troy had been driving home when he lost control of his car and went off the side of the road and down an embankment. His car had rolled and caught fire at the bottom. He was killed instantly. He was only 19 and had so much of his life left to live.

Jack responded, "I think that's something that would have to be explained by Troy. Come on. Let's go to the house."

I got in my car and followed Jack, Lucy, and Troy's older sister Kelsi back to their house. When we arrived, I watched as Lucy picked up an envelope from the kitchen counter and held it out to me.

"This is from Troy for you. If you want, you can go up to his room and read it. We'll wait down here for you. You'll probably want to talk afterwards."

I frowned in confusion at her as I took the offered envelope, but did as she said. I slowly walked to Troy's room, entering with apprehension. As I looked around, I almost felt a sense of being in a place I wasn't wanted. I couldn't count the number of times I had been in this room, but this time it was definitely different.

I walked over and sat on the end of the bed, opening the envelope and taking the letter out. I took a deep breath and prepared myself to read what Troy had written. As I unfolded the letter, I was surprised to see what fell out of the folded sheets of paper.

Please leave a review. This is an idea that suddenly popped in my head…not too sure where exactly I'm going with it, but the plot is slowly coming to me. I'm still working on "Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder". The next chapter should be up by the beginning of the week.